The Boy Who Came in From the Cold (41 page)

“Sorta.”

“Sorta?” Chaz returned. “Eithers you do or you don’ts.” Todd shrugged.
“At least you all is admittin’ you is gay.”

Todd smiled, blushed, then threw his head back. “Yes,” he said. “Wow. At least I am finally admitting I’m gay.”

“So what you doin’ here then? He already bored you and you lookin’ to come to me for some fun?”
Todd laughed. “No. That’s not it, Chaz.” He paused. “I mean Brett.”

Chaz’s mouth fell open. “What you call me?” His brows came together in one angry line.

 

“Are you denying it?” Todd returned.

Chaz opened his mouth, hand raised high, fingers ready to snap— and he slumped. It was just like a puppet with its strings cut. How many times in his life had Todd heard that phrase, and it wasn’t until that moment he’d actually witnessed it. Even the stern look on Chaz’s face fell. Like tiny little knots breaking and letting go at once. The high-raised brow, the half smirk, the thrust-out chin. Gone.

“How did you know my name?” he asked, voice quiet and lacking his usual attitude.

“We have a mutual friend,” Todd said.
“Oh?” A brow tried to raise and fell in defeat.
“Gabe Roberts.”
“Gabriel?” Chaz snapped, his inner bitch showing again.

Todd nodded. “I thought so. It’s you. What a damned small world.”

Chaz turned his back. Took a deep breath, raised his shoulders movie-star-queen high, and turned back, chin thrust out once again. “Ya, baby. It a small world after all. That your sugar daddy? Did Gabriel find you on some street corner? Did he pitys you? Did he take you in?”

It was hard not to get mad. It was exactly what Gabe had done, but Chaz—Brett—acted like it were an offense. Todd took a deep breath and regained his composure before he’d quite lost it.

“He did” was his answer.
“Gabriel Roberts. The knight in shining armor. The hero,” Brett/Chaz said, the expression there, the tone not. “What he hold back? What he
not
give you?”
Todd raised his shoulders, thrust out his chest. “Nothing,” he said. “He didn’t hold anything back.”
“Well good for you, bitch” came the response.
“He also told me about his broken heart,” Todd said. “A heart
you
broke.”
Brett (Chaz?) trembled again, gulped. “Me?”
“He told me he fell in love with you, but he wouldn’t make a move on you because you were underage. He told me how he waited until your eighteenth birthday and came home and found you in bed with his lover.”
Chaz’s eyes narrowed, he trembled, then closed them.

“He said he told you he loved you, and you told him you didn’t love him.”

 

There was a long pause. “That ain’t what I said.” Another pause. “I said I didn’t love him like he loved me. That is what I said.” “Okay,” Todd acknowledged.

“I knew what I wanted. I wanted him. And he made me wait. And when I couldn’t stand it any longer, I went for Danny-boy.” He closed his eyes again. “Stupidest mistake I ever made.”

“Then why did you do it?”

Chaz’s eyes flew open. “I was a kid when we met. I acted like one!”
Todd furrowed his brow. “You saying this is his fault?”

“I’m saying he could have tried just a little harder!” Chaz turned away.

 

An eternity passed.
“How is he?” Chaz asked.
How do I answer?
Todd wondered.
Why with the truth, of course.
“He’s good,” Todd replied.

Then: “Good.” Another pause. “I fucked up good there. Hell. I never even got a chance to try him out.”

 

“But you had Daniel,” Todd said quietly, without any accusation.

Chaz shrugged. “Boy was that trading in a dollar for a penny. Dumb, dumb, dumb.”
Interesting that nearly all of Chaz’s style had vanished. Todd had suspected it was just a persona.

“I guess I’ll never have him now.”

“Probably not,” Todd said.
Not if I have anything to say about it.
“So is it true?”
“Is what true?” Chaz asked quietly, lazily. No accent. No finger snaps.

“Are you HIV positive?”

Chaz jumped. He spun, obviously ready to back into character. Todd just stared at him with a no-nonsense level glare. Chaz slipped away and Brett returned. “I don’t know. Probably. I let a trick fuck me bareback a few times. They pay a lot for that. But Doug got on me about it. Don’ do that no more.”

Anger flared, but he reeled it in. “Then why did you tell Gabe you were when you don’t really know?”
Chaz shrugged.

“Why don’t you get tested?”
Chaz shook his head decisively. “No way.”
“Why not?”
“Scared” came the quick response.
“Then take someone with you.”
Chaz laughed. “Who? Doug?” He laughed again. “Yeah. Right.”

“I’ll go with you,” Todd said, surprising himself.
Now where did that come from?
“I’ll get tested too.”

Chaz’s mouth fell open. “You would do that?”
“Sure,” Todd answered, and meant it.
“You would really do that?”
“I would. Want to go now? Isn’t the free clinic close by?” Chaz nodded.
A moment later they were on their way.

W
HEN Gabe walked into the apartment, the last thing he was expecting was to see his new lover sitting on the couch with his exalmost-lover. He stopped dead in his tracks, door still open.

“Brett?” He barely got the word out. He could not have been more shocked.

 

“Hey,” Brett said just as quietly.

 

“Todd!” Gabe said, tearing his eyes away and looking to his lover. “What is he doing here?”

 

“I brought him,” Todd said.

Gabe felt his heart breaking—just a little bit. “Why?” he managed.
“He has something to tell you,” Todd replied.

Gabe looked back at the young man who
had
broken his heart two years before. “Brett?”

Brett opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again, shut it once more.
“Brett?” Todd said.

Brett stiffened, sat up straight, then cleared his throat. Finally: “I don’t have AIDS,” Brett said in a rush.

 

Gabe staggered. “What?”

 

Brett’s eyes grew glassy. “I-I only said I had it.”

 

Gabe finally closed the door and leaned against it for support. He felt like falling down. He didn’t think he’d make it to the chair. He glanced back at Todd.
You brought him here? To my home?

A tear rolled down Brett’s face. “Todd found me in the park. He went with me to the Free Health Clinic. Talked me into gettingtested.”

“We got tested together,” Todd replied.
“Together? You got tested too?”

“It was so fast,” Brett said. “They just pricked my finger. They let us sit in the same room. We had to tell them we were boyfriends.”
Gabe looked over at Todd again, who mouthed the word “Sorry.”