The Boy Who Came in From the Cold (19 page)

“Parting is such sweet sorrow…. Thank you for the lovely dinner. Thank you for the lovely company. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.”

And then he was gone.

 

Chapter 10

 

“WOW,” said Todd, staring at the door.

“Wow is right,” Gabe said.
“He’s unbelievable,” Todd replied.
“He is.”

Todd turned to face Gabe, who seemed to stand over him like a giant. Like a miracle.
“I’m sorry about dinner,” Gabe said. “I wasn’t expecting Peter to drop in like—”

Todd shook his head. “No. Don’t. He’s amazing. I don’t mind at all.” And interestingly, he didn’t. It was hard to remember his disappointment a few hours before when the man had first shown up.

“What’s it like to have a man like that in your life?” Todd asked. Gabe propped his chin in his hand on the arm of the couch. “Well… pretty amazing actually.”

“You know what I think?” Todd said. “I think from the minute he walked in here, he looked like a man who just finished causing trouble and was waiting to be caught for it. I want to live my life that way.”

“He makes me want the same thing,” Gabe replied. “I don’t know where I would be today if he hadn’t helped me when he did.” “Well, you helped him first.” Todd sat on the chair next to Gabe. “And something tells me you would have been okay.”

 

“Maybe,” Gabe replied.

Todd took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “What would I have done if you hadn’t helped me?” It was true. What would have happened? He might have died.

Gabe sat up and reached out and laid his hand on Todd’s. “Something tells me you would have been okay.”

 

Todd swallowed hard. He hoped so. “Maybe,” he said. “Maybe not.”

 

“Todd. Anything can happen if you set your mind to it.”

Looking at this handsome man, he thought that might be true. Imagine, ten years ago Gabe was going to spend the night in an alley, and today he had this apartment and a high-paying job and a man like Peter Wagner as his boss.

Todd looked down at the hand lying across his. So big. So masculine. Gabe’s hand almost dwarfed his own; even his fingers were manly. Their hands looked so different from when he held Joan’s. Her hand was so small. Todd’s gaze traveled up the length of Gabe’s arm, the light dusting of hair across its back, then the huge bicep and the sleeve of the red T-shirt stretched to encompass it. Then that chest. Massive. The word “Chiefs” was almost strained out of proportion over the man’s pectorals. Just one of them looked as big as Todd’s whole head. He remembered resting his face against it. Hard and soft at the same time. Nothing like Joan’s breasts.

His eyes moved up that huge chest and up Gabe’s neck—even it was corded with muscles. What must it be like to have a body like that? He would never be built like Gabe.

Finally he looked at Gabe’s face. So handsome. Gabe’s short dark-blond hair looked so soft, and Todd found himself wondering just what it would feel like. When he’d patted the snow off Gabe’s head the hair had seemed soft. But it was wet then. Todd almost leaned forward to touch it, but stopped himself.

They locked eyes and Todd trembled. That look. Those eyes.
What’s happening to me?
(“
Maybe you’re bi?”
)
God. Could I be?

It would explain a lot. How excited he’d been in the basement with Austin.

And it was hot. Admit it.
Todd felt his cock stir.
He remembered when Peter was here and how he’d looked at

Gabe and how he’d suddenly wanted to crawl up into the man’s lap. Why not? It was the least he could do for this man who had helped him so much.

His cock stiffened, began to shift uncomfortably in his—Gabe’s—jeans. A slight moan escaped his lips.

 

“Are you okay, Todd?” his friend asked.

Todd stood, took a few steps until he stood between Gabe’s legs. His heart was pounding in his ears and he felt just a little light-headed. His erection filled and throbbed. Had Gabe seen it?

What are you doing?
What I want to do.
What about your stepdad calling you a faggot?
Fuck him.

Todd lifted a knee and then brought it to rest on the couch between Gabe’s open legs.

“Todd?”
Then he climbed up into the man’s lap.
“Todd?” Gabe’s eyes grew alarmed. “What are you doing?”

Todd settled down, then pressed forward, his hard cock against Gabe’s abs. He moaned again.

“Todd!” Gabe sat up, and if Todd hadn’t reached out and grabbed Gabe’s shoulders, he might have been dumped on the floor. The move instead spread his legs wide, and then Gabe did see his erection. He saw Gabe’s eyes drop down and stop.
He’s looking.
Todd felt his cock throb again and yes, Gabe saw it.

“Todd….” Gabe looked up into his face. “What are you doing?” “Thanking you,” Todd said. He leaned in and kissed Gabe.

Todd’s heart exploded. The kiss lasted only an instant, because before he could even attempt to open his mouth, Gabe was pushing him back. But in that minute Todd knew. He liked it. Liked it in a way he’d never, ever, liked kissing Joan.

Suddenly Gabe was standing, his muscles easily lifting Todd and then setting him on his feet. “No! I won’t have you do this.”

“But….”
“No! I can’t.”

Todd was confused. He glanced down and—yes!—he could see. Gabe was getting hard as well, and was there ever a more sexy sight? He looked back into Gabe’s face. He knew the man wanted him. Why was he resisting? “Gabe. I—”

“No. You don’t understand. Todd—I-I can’t.” And with that he ran out of the room.

G
ABEcouldn’t remember being so hard in his life. Not even when he was a teenager and he’d discovered his best friend’s mother’s stash of
Playgirl
magazines. God. What had just happened? How had it happened?

They’d been eating dinner, he and Todd and Peter, and it had been so nice. But sexual? Had he missed something? When had things turned sexual? Had he misled Todd? Made him feel he had to pay to be able to stay?

They’d just been sitting there, and before he knew what was happening, Todd was climbing into his lap. He’d had a hard-on, and it had looked so hot pushing against the front of his—or rather, Gabe’s— jeans. Then Todd had kissed him, and—Christ!

A month or so ago, Curtis—one of his co-workers—had brought a friend to the holiday party at the office. It was a man Gabe had known was gay. In fact, he and nearly everyone else in the office had thought Curtis and his friend were a couple and just wouldn’t admit it. But when he’d talked to Curtis’s friend—Gavin—he’d been shocked to find out they weren’t. It explained a lot. The last time he’d seen Gavin had been at a summer company picnic. He’d thought there had been sparks between the two of them back then, but he’d kept his distance since he thought the man was his co-worker’s lover. But at the holiday party, he’d discovered differently. Then the punch—liberally spiked by who knew how many partygoers and with how many different types of alcohol—plus the looks Gavin had seemed to be giving him made him act like a fool. He’d kissed the man right there in the office, under the mistletoe.

It had been a nice kiss. And it had been so long since he’d kissed anyone. Ever since the fiasco with Daniel and Brett. It was a kiss that had ended messily when the supposedly straight Curtis had admitted he did want to be with Gavin after all. Apparently the two had been together ever since. Gabe had wondered what might have happened if he’d made a move on Gavin at the picnic instead. Would it have made a difference?

Or maybe Gavin was meant to be with Curtis, and it would have been nothing but another disaster?
The kiss had been nice. But that kiss was nothing like the kiss he’d just shared with Todd. It had lasted only a second but this time his good sense had kicked in and he’d stopped it. No. He would not have another Brett on his hands. He couldn’t.

Another Brett?

 

Gabe closed his eyes and punched his bedroom wall but immediately regretted it. Surely Todd had heard that?

Todd.
Oh, my God.
I’ve done it again.
I’m falling for this kid!

As stupid as that sounded… it was true. Ridiculous. He’d only known the young man for twenty-four hours, but it was true.
No. You’re just horny. Lonely.

Then he saw an image of Todd in the lobby downstairs. Scared. Cold. How he’d felt compelled to help the kid. How he’d brought him food. How his heart had leapt in his throat at just the sight of him.

That was followed by the memory of Todd running on the treadmill. How beautiful and wild and sexy he’d looked.

 

Then the smile on his face when Peter had complimented him on his meal.

And finally, the look on Todd’s face when climbing up into his lap minutes ago. His eyes all heavy and sexy, and his jeans tented with an erection. The kiss the boy had given him. Seconds. Not even that long. How close he’d come to melting into it and then, suddenly realizing what he was doing, how he’d pushed Todd back.

My God.
The kiss had felt like love.
Shitfire!

Impossible. He couldn’t feel anything for Todd. He’d just found out his last name a few hours ago. Not love. Hormones. He’d read about this. What did they call it? Limerence? Yes. He read all about it after everything that had happened with Brett. Peter had given him a book about it. He dashed out of his bedroom and into his office, scanned the bookshelves quickly. Hadn’t it had a pink spine? Yes! There it was.

He pulled it off the shelf.
Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love
.

I am not in love with Todd.
That would imply love at first sight, and that was ridiculous. It was just some involuntary state of mind caused by lust and loneliness and a lack of being laid.

There was a tap and Gabe spun to see Todd standing there. The look on his face cut into Gabe’s heart. Anguish.
“Did I do something wrong?” Todd asked. “I thought… I thought you wanted….”

A shudder passed through Gabe. “Todd….”

 

“Was I wrong? I mean you… you offered to pay me, and I thought I could….”

 

Gabe shook his head.
God, no
.

“I figured it was the least I could do. You’ve been so good to me.”
Gabe stepped forward. Then stopped himself. Shook his head again. “Todd, no. You don’t… I don’t want you to pay for what I’ve done for you. I’m paying it forward, don’t you see? Like Peter did for me. He didn’t ask me for sex—”

“He didn’t?”
“No! We’ve never slept together. It’s not like that. We were never attracted to each other. He helped me because he could. That’s who he is. Peter helps people. I’m helping you.”
Todd trembled, looked away. Looked back. “Because that is who you are. You help people.”
Tracy’s words came back in a flash:
“That’s all you do. That’s who you are.”
Todd took a step, held out his hand. “Then let me do this for you. You want me, don’t you? I think you do!”
“Gabriel, it’s your turn. All you do is help people. It’s time for someone to do something for you again.”
No! Not this way.
“Thank you, Todd,” Gabe said, nearly shaking. “But I couldn’t live with myself if I used you that way. Please. Let’s not ruin a perfect evening, okay?”
Todd gave a little gasp, his voice hitched. “Okay.”
You’ve hurt his feelings.
It’s better than using him.
Todd turned away, then back. “You’re sure?”
I’ve never been more
unsure
of anything in my life
, Gabe thought. But instead he said, “I’m sure.”
Todd nodded. Turned away again. And left the room.

Chapter 11

 

T
HE day was shit. Gabe had slept like shit, he’d woken with a strange hangover (and he never got hangovers), and the day had gotten even worse. One disaster after another. All he’d been able to do was answer one call after another, solve (or try to) one problem after another.

There was the continued problem with AbledRides, something he’d been working on for days. AbledRides rigged and repaired cars so the disabled and paraplegics could drive them. The company had been doing quite well on their own. They had more work than they could handle as a matter of fact. They now faced a problem that often popped up with growing businesses. They’d run out of space and had nowhere to expand. That was a major problem because it would cost them too much to move and far too much to buy out any neighbors. They were doing well, but not that kind of well.