The Boy Project (9 page)

Day two of self-induced torture. Just got back from my run with Julie. We took the same route. Right by Lyle's house. It's pretty obvious that I'm not cut out for running. I'm sore all over! I mentioned this at breakfast and Mom said, “You haven't had those seventy-eight-dollar shoes long enough to know. Have you, Kara?”

When she said “have,” she stretched out the aaaaaaaaaaaa sound in a way that means the same thing to every daughter on the planet:
The answer better be NO!

I wonder if Maybelline knows yet that she was dumped for an older woman? She's still sniffing, but no more or less than yesterday.

That sniffing is getting on my nerves. I've been trying to ignore it, but it's difficult to
sniff
write
sniff
when
sniff
every
sniff
other
sniff
second
sniff
you
sniff
hear
sniff
a
sniff
.

It's hard to pay attention to Mr. DeLacey anymore. I can't even stand to look at him after the whole survey incident. But know what makes it even harder?
Sniffing
. Right behind your head. I know I'm not the only one who hates sniffing either because I did an experiment. I sniffed about three times in Mrs. Hill's class, and Cory Livingston turned around and said, “Get a tissue already, Kara!”

Maybe it was the sniffing. Maybe it was the fact that Maybelline
was so mean that time she called me just to say, “What's wrong, Kara? All those A's can't help you figure out how to get a boyfriend?” Maybe I have completely lost my mind. All I know is I shouldn't have said what I just said.

The only thing I'm thankful for right now is that Maybelline
thinks she's too cool to be in the band. The band room is my new sanctuary. Tomorrow I'm going to guidance to see if I can have all of my classes changed to band. If I claim to want a career in music, they can't make me take English and algebra, can they?

Tabbi called just as I stepped off of the bus. That girl has perfect timing.

Tabs:
Maybelline is going to kill you.

Me:
I know.

Tabs:
No one can believe you said that to her.

Me:
Including me.

Tabs:
What are you going to do?

Me:
I don't know. Maybe when she thinks about it, she'll know I only said it to her because of what she said to me. I mean, if she can get away with it, why can't I?

Tabs:
She's Maybelline. You're not.

Me:
I know.

Tabs:
Oh, Kara. I think you're going to be in for a long day tomorrow. But Evan and I will stick by you.

Me:
I know. Thanks, Tabs.

Tabs:
Welcome. See you tomorrow. Unless Maybelline sees you first. Then you're dead.

Me:
I know. . . . Bye.

Life is really not fair. I mean it
finally
looks like karma has caught up with Maybelline
for being such a rotten person, and then I have to go and wave a big red cape in its direction. I may as well have yelled, “Hey, Karma! Lower your head and charge this way!”

Why
couldn't I have just quietly enjoyed the experience of Maybelline getting dumped from the safety of my desk? Oh. That's right. Because it wasn't very quiet at my desk because of all of that SNIFFING! The sniffing drove me to it. I swear.

But did I have to turn around and say, “What's wrong, Colleen? All that makeup not helping you get a boyfriend?”

Every now and then, my dad will say something about “jealousy rearing its ugly head.” I wonder if Dad knows that revenge has an ugly head, too. I saw revenge rear its ugly head when Maybelline jerked her head from her desk after I stupidly opened my mouth about her boyfriend status.

Did you know revenge has cold, evil-looking eyes under green eye shadow? It also has a perfectly formed mouth with beautiful teeth. And it can make the most innocent-sounding sentences make your blood run cold when it says, “Oh, I'll get another boyfriend, Kara. Don't you worry.”

Know what? I'm worried.

Complained of hurt knee and begged out of running but promised to go tomorrow. Didn't sleep well last night.

Today Tabbi met Evan in front of school and wrote
Property of Tabbi Reddy
on his hand, like she's done every day since they started going out. She added a big heart with a red Sharpie in honor of their two-week anniversary. That's supposedly some kind of milestone. As she gushed about how it has been the best two weeks of her life, it made me a little sick. Just like it does every time she gushes about Evan. So, you see, today started out like a very normal day.

Surprisingly, even Maybelline was acting fairly normal. Sure she glared at me when I got out of Dad's Honda, but she pretty much does that every day. And she “accidentally” kicked my desk a few times when she got up to sashay to the pencil sharpener, but she does that about every day, too. And at least she'd stopped that annoying sniffing! I wondered if things between Maybelline
and me weren't going to be
too
too much worse than they already were. I even thought maybe my confronting her yesterday was a
good
thing. Hey — I'd rather have my desk kicked a few dozen times than listen to sniffing all day long.

But that was before lunch.

At lunch I sat with Anna Johnstone and Dianna Leroy, just like old times. I
really
did not want to sit with Tabs and Evan on their highly publicized “two-week anniversary.” I noticed Anna was reading a book called
The Mediator
, which is about a girl who has a crush on a handsome ghost who is, like, two hundred years old. I loved that book! So we got into this great (but weird) conversation about the top ten ghosts you would consider going out with, and lunch flew by without my taking notes on any more subjects. So it wasn't until fourth period that I got clued in that something was very wrong with my world. Here were my clues:

1. Tabbi did not come to class.
   
2. Evan did. But when he raised his hand to answer a question, it did not have writing on it. All that was left of his temporary tattoo was a pale pink blob where the heart used to be.
   
3. After class, Evan started walking toward my desk. “Where's Tabs?” I asked. He shrugged! Then he passed my desk and stopped at Maybelline's.
   
4. Next, Evan picked up Maybelline's books and walked toward the door!!!
   
5. And Maybelline hooked her hand in the crook of Evan's arm and walked with him!!!!
   

Maybelline looked over her shoulder and gave me a big, exaggerated wink. “Told you I'd get a boyfriend,” she said.

I couldn't move. All of the times that I'd felt sick listening to Tabbi talk about Evan didn't compare to how seriously ill I felt at that very moment. It was like someone had spread Gorilla Glue on my butt and I was going to be stuck in my desk forever. I was cold. And shaky. Tabbi was somewhere (probably home) crying her eyes out, and it was all thanks to me. Maybelline wanted to get back at me, and since I didn't have a boyfriend she stole my best friend's.

I might have stayed in that seat forever if fifth period hadn't started filing in and Mia Willers hadn't said, “Get out of my seat, girl, before I dump you out.”

Now I'm in the instrument room pretending to fix a stuck valve. Even though I could get suspended for it, I'm taking out my cell phone and dialing Tabbi's number.

She doesn't answer.

I wonder how long I can stay back here before Mr. Waldorf notices? I do not feel like making a joyful noise today. . . .

After trying Tabbi's cell a thousand times and only getting voicemail, I was finally able to reach her by calling her home number and talking to her mom first.

As soon as I said hello, Tabs started sobbing. It was hard to understand what she was saying, exactly, but eventually I managed to get the whole story.

Basically, Evan is a jerk and Maybelline is a fiend. Get this — at lunch, Maybelline just sashayed up to Evan and Tabs while they were
celebrating their two-week anniversary
and asked Evan to go to the spring dance with her! And right in front of Tabbi, Evan said yes.

Tabs said she asked Evan if he liked Maybelline so much, why hadn't he just asked her out a long time ago? He said he would have, but he didn't think a girl as pretty as Maybelline would say yes!!!

Poor Tabbi. She was all tears. “You're still looking for your soul mate, Kara, but I'd already
found
mine. Maybelline didn't steal my boyfriend, she stole part of my
soul.
”

I feel like the worst friend in the world. If I hadn't been having that ridiculous conversation about dead hotties, I'd have noticed my best friend running from the cafeteria in tears.

I'll tell you what, though. Even when Maybelline does dump Evan — and I'm sure she will since he's obviously (to everyone but him) her rebound guy — I am done researching him. There are some things you never know . . . but I know for sure that my one and only true soul mate will not be someone who treats people like Evan treated Tabbi. I honestly can't believe that I used to like that guy!

I guess if Evan and Tabs weren't meant to be, it's good for Evan that he figured it out before he got his hand tattooed.

James and The Vine are no longer going out. This status change doesn't have nearly as much YAY power as Alex's did, but in the interest of being objective with this study, I need to note it anyway. I don't know how he managed to disentangle himself, but Gina is now ignoring James and openly creeping around other guys.

And though it's still hard to imagine how I could ever like someone who willingly let himself fall into The Vine's clutches, it is easier to observe James now that he's free.

One thing I just noticed about him, for example, is that he no longer has a unibrow. I heard him telling Alex L that his mom plucked it for him. My first thought was: Eww! I couldn't really believe that he admitted this. Then again, it was so obvious that it had been plucked — since now he has
two
eyebrows instead of
one
— that I guess he may as well have.

And speaking of admitting things, I have to admit that James looks a lot cuter these days. It might be that he walks differently. Like he's more confident or something. His new duo-browed look doesn't hurt, either.

I pointed this out to Tabs, who agreed that he was cuter, but argued that he still wasn't nearly as cute as Evan, before she ran to the restroom teary-eyed.

Maybelline is making sure to flaunt her new status as Evan's girlfriend every chance she gets. So today has been particularly rough for Tabbi. It's really, really hard to see your BFF looking so sad.