The Boy Project (13 page)

Today I had the chance to have my first (tiny!) conversation with Dylan Hudson. I guess I should say I
made
the chance by forcing myself to sit at Maybelline's table. I know. But I had to find a place where Evan wouldn't join me. And sitting next to Maybelline pretty much guaranteed that.

You should've seen her face when I walked over, by the way. She slowly looked me up and down and said, “What are
you
doing here, Scara?” So I told her that I'd been admiring her fingernails and I wondered if she could give me some tips to help me get mine looking better. (Dad claims that no one can resist talking about themselves. This must be true because even though she rolled her eyes and said, “As if,” before I sat down, she didn't try to stop me and she immediately began talking about her nail-care regimen.)

Anyway, while I was there I was able to speak to Dylan a few times, giving him a chance to fire back one-word responses such as “Righteous” and “Hmmm.” And, to be honest, he completely ignored a few of the things I said.

Which was probably some kind of karma because I was completely ignoring Evan when he walked by with his tray and lifted his eyebrows in a way that asked
Why the heck are you sitting there?
I have to admit that it hurt to see the look on his face — to feel that he wanted to be sitting with me and to know that I wanted to sit with him, too.

But I made the right decision. When I called Tabs after school, she answered.

I had only been at my desk in English for a minute when I felt someone pull one of my curls. (Why can't I have straight hair?) I wheeled around with a dirty look already pasted on my face, thinking I was going to be aiming it at Maybelline. Unfortunately, that's who usually sits behind me.

“Whoa!” said Chip. He held up both hands. “I thought we were cool after being in detention together.”

After assuring him that we “were cool” and explaining that it was a case of mistaken identity, I started having a really nice conversation with him. It began in the usual way . . . him telling me the new funny fake names he'd heard (Faye Slift, Lee Nover, Al B. Zienya). But then he saw that I was reading
Inkheart
, which is a book about a man who has a talent for
reading
characters out of books. Like, they actually come out of the books and interact with people. (
So
many times I wish I had that talent . . . only I wish I could
read
celebrities out of magazines instead.) Anyway, he got kind of excited when he saw
Inkheart
because he said it was one of his favorites. So we started discussing it. I didn't know you could have conversations like that with guys.

While we were talking, he twisted my hair around his finger and I could feel it gently tugging at my scalp and I can't explain why, but I think I liked it. For a millisecond I wondered what it would have been like if we
had
kissed in that closet.

Our discussion was completely ruined a few minutes later when The Vine walked over.

“What are you two talking about?” she asked.

“
Inkheart
,” said Chip.

“Ooooo. That sounds really interesting.” The Vine scooted behind Chip and started RUBBING HIS SHOULDERS like she was suddenly a massage therapist. She pretended to look interested while we talked about the book a little more. But really, the conversation had taken a nosedive because Chip didn't seem that interested anymore.

“So.” I looked at The Vine. “Have you ever read
Inkheart
?”

“Nope.” The Vine shook her black hair, then tugged at Chip's shirt. “Isn't it about time for class to start?” He let go of my hair and stood up. Then The Vine grabbed his arm and escorted him back to his seat as if he needed her help. I mean, it's not like he's an old lady who can't cross a street alone.

Now, I'm the first to admit that Chip is a total dweeb . . . but I kind of wish he hadn't let The Vine
get intertwined in our conversation. For the first time in my life I wished that Maybelline had been sitting in her usual place behind me.

Just got off of the phone with Tabs, who apparently couldn't wait until a decent hour to call even though it is Saturday and sleeping in is about as much fun as I can expect to have on weekends at this point. It was not one of my favorite conversations.

Tabs:
Kara? You were awake, weren't you?

Me:
Mmmmm.

Tabs:
Good! 'Cause I can't wait to tell you who James and I saw at the movies last night.

Me:
Mmmmm.

Tabs:
The Vine
.
And guess who she's creeping around now.

Me:
(
Suddenly springing up even though I have a sinking feeling
) I'm not sure I wanna know.

Tabs:
Of course you do. It's Chip.

Me:

Tabs:
Can you believe that? Like, I know we give Gina a hard time and all, but can you believe she likes that dork? I don't know what she sees in him.

(I do. But I didn't admit this to Tabbi.)

Me:
Hmmm. Interesting.

Tabs:
She was
all over
him, too.

Me:
Um, you mind if I call you back? I was kinda asleep when you called and I'm having trouble concentrating.

Hopefully by the time I call Tabs back, she'll have something better to talk about. I don't want to hear about how Chip Tyler, who thought he was too good to get a perfectly-free-no-strings-attached-spin-the-bottle kiss from me, is now kissing The Vine. How humiliating for me. And for Chip. Why can't he see that he can do better?

Not that I like him! I totally don't. I just thought he was interested in me. But even if I
did
decide that I liked him at some point in the future, I could never go out with him now. He's off-limits FOREVER. Because how could I like a guy who lets The Vine
hang all over him?

How will I ever find a soul mate when everyone keeps getting off-limits? I'll probably have to move to some more populated area. Like New York City. Or China. Some place where there are so many guys that The Vine wouldn't have time to get to them all.

And someone would be left for me.

To: Kara M

From: BebeTruelove

Subject: Tip #6

Dear Soul Mate Seeker,

Remember that your soul mate is that one person who shares your hopes and dreams. So he should share your interests as well. Find someone who shares your interests and maybe you've found someone to share your life.

Tip #6: Find common interests.

Good Luck in Love,

Bebe

Take an interest survey!

Not sure what you like? Take our free interest survey and we'll tell you more about yourself. A five dollar processing fee will apply.

Click here to take survey!

♥ Interest ♥

(Must be 18 years of age to order.)

Thanks a lot, Bebe. I thought I'd found common interests with Chip, but The Vine ruined it.

Furthering my soul mate search via my science project was almost the last thing I wanted to do after hearing about Chip and The Vine. Unfortunately, the
absolute last
thing I wanted to do was keep that F+ in the grade book. So I spent a good part of yesterday lying around on my fluffy white cloud rug gazing at my Christmas-light stars while trying to think of ways to get a larger sampling for my surveys. I really wanted to survey guys who don't go to my school because I'm pretty close to concluding that every guy there is a jerk, a jock, or has dated The
Vine.

I thought about handing out the surveys at the mall or something. But that'd probably make me look pretty desperate. Then I thought I could do one of those phone surveys. I'd dial random numbers, ask if there was a teenager in the house, and conduct the survey. But I remembered how many times I've hung up on people giving phone surveys. Finally, I thought of the perfect place to distribute tons of surveys anonymously. It's that alternate social networking universe where enemies are friends, friends are friends, strangers are friends, and relationships have nothing to do with reality. Faceplace.

After logging into my FP account at the “family computer located in a high-traffic area,” I typed
surveys
into the search bar. Not a ton of stuff came up. But when I typed in
quizzes
. . . well, let's just say that's the buzzword! I found out there are over a million FP quizzes already. And that quizzes help you “find your social identity.” Perfect. After all, a quiz is just a survey where the results only matter to one person. Once I compile all of the data I gather from my quiz it will morph into a survey!

In the interest of research, I took a few of the FP quizzes. Here are the results.

I guess if I wear thick Velma glasses with orange miniskirts and turtlenecks when I grow up, it isn't too much of a stretch to say I'll be a data analyst, a teacher, or a carrot. Even though I don't want to think my destiny has been decided, maybe there is something to these quizzes. I don't know. They were awfully short. Short and witty. So I made some major changes to my original surveys. I tried to make the wording hip, so kids would want to take them.

This time I made the girls' quiz just like the guys', except I changed the
she
s to
he
s and all. And, since Ms. S said I could change the experiment as long as I stuck to the same general topic, I formed new hypotheses, too.

#1: Official Science Fair Hypothesis

I think interest surveys will show that male and female teens are looking for different things in relationships.

AND

#2: Hidden Agenda Project Hypothesis

Finding out what boys are looking for will help me discover how to find my soul mate!

Is there is a better way to figure out what guys like than to ask them directly? I don't think so! They don't call this kind of feedback a primary source for nothing!

When I finished filling out my new science fair application with my new and improved hypothesis, I brought Julie and Tabbi in on my plan. They promised to get James and Lyle to take the guy version. Now I just have to sit back and see how far the ball rolls. . . .

Chip, who is partially hidden by his hugging GF, is waving at me across the lunchroom. I'm not waving back.

We were watching a YouTube video of some science experiment when one of those paper footballs landed on my desk. I was about to brush it to the floor when I saw my name on it. So I unfolded it. It was a note from Evan. He'd written three words:
Can we talk?

Six months ago, I'd have given anything to get a note from Evan. Not now.