The Boy Project (12 page)

Dear Ms. Sabatino,

You are the coolest teacher ever. I mean, you watch YouTube! And show us cool videos of amazing science stuff. Did you know that the guys talk about you the same way the girls (except for me, now that I know he has a kinda rotten soul) talk about Mr. DeLacey? Plus, you always wear those funky wedges. They just scream “artsy.” Hopefully this means you're going to love my science board. 'Cause next week I'll be turning in the most cool, the most artsy, the most creative science board you've ever seen!

Man! Did you have to pick now to close your laptop and start a lecture?

Signed, but never to be delivered by,

Kara McAllister

Just had a chance to unobtrusively observe Subject #12, Richie Lopez, while he was grocery shopping with his family. You know, I said he doesn't talk much because he doesn't — in school. But he was talking like crazy in Publix. I couldn't understand a word of it! (Which is too bad because I have suffered through two boring years of Español but still can't
comprendo
.) He was talking
that
fast. Of course he was smiling. He looked so, well, cute. Hmmm . . .

So far I've spent the whole weekend with earthworms instead of people. This is not going to help me find a soul mate. I can tell.

Bebe Truelove does not get it. I just received her latest tip.

To: Kara M

From: BebeTruelove

Subject: Tip #5

Dear Soul Mate Seeker,

You've made your list and you know what you are looking for in a soul mate. Well, look at that list again. Maybe you're being too picky. Love will enter your life if you open the door a little wider.

Tip #5: Be open-minded.

Good Luck in Love,

Bebe

Try Sole-mateys!

Nothing says “Look at me” like great shoes! The acrylic soles of these dazzling heels are embedded with glitter. Potential soul mates are sure to notice your soles — and the rest of you — when you step out in these! Click here to order now!

Specify fuchsia or aquamarine.

♥ Sole-mateys ♥

(Must be 18 years of age to order.)

I
am
open-minded! The only guys I've closed the door to are James, Evan, Jonah Nate, algebra teachers, Alex L, ones who don't use toilet paper, and anyone who has ever dated The
Vine! Geez!

I'm skipping the weekly research review for my boy project because I've been too busy with my science fair project. I didn't have time to collect a ton of data on the worms, but I tried to make up for it by designing an awesome display board. Mom's crafting philosophy is that “a little fringe can dress up anything.” (Our lampshades are nonliving proof of this.) But I've found this philosophy useful for school as well. Teachers
love
it when you show enthusiasm for a project by throwing a little extra decoration on it.

Here's what my display board looks like. And it's multisensory interactive! Notice the scratch-and-sniff areas where I sprinkled some Kool-Aid on two squares of glue. Also — and this is the best part — I took apart a musical birthday card I got last year and glued the sound-making mechanism to the science board. Now it plays the “Chicken Dance” when you open it! Perfect for a project about worms, right?

Turned in science project. It was the best one! When I opened it up, James, who sits in the back row, actually raised his hands over his head (thank goodness he finally discovered deodorant) and started snapping his fingers together like chicken beaks. And Alex L spent an inordinately long time sniffing the lime-scented scratch-and-sniff square. (?) (!)

Found out during second period that Maybelline broke up with Evan over the weekend. I'm sure he saw it coming after bravely defending me. But just like I predicted . . . she made sure she'd latched on to somebody else first. An eighth grader. (She was probably aiming for ninth — just to show Alex — but she had to take what she could get, you know.)

I, Kara McAllister, am going to die. True, this statement could be made of anyone — and it's actually true of everyone — but I see the future clearly and I know the exact cause of my death. I went ahead and made a death certificate to save my poor parents the trouble.

Unfortunately, it turned out that Ms. Sabatino isn't someone who is easily impressed by Mom's “little bit of fringe” philosophy. Here's what she wrote on the back of my science board.

After I read through that tongue-lashing — well, I guess it was a pen-lashing — I sat in stunned silence. What the heck's an F+? Like that little plus sign is going to make failing any better? An F is an F is an F. This is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. My parents are going to F-reak. It'll be F-atal. I have ruined my F-uture!

I was sitting there panicking when I heard a voice calling to me from a distance.

“Kara. Kara?”

Okay, the voice calling my name wasn't so distant from me physically — but I'd let my mind wander far, far away from room 217 while imagining my death.

“Kara McAllister!”

Now the voice sounded irritated. My mind sped back to room 217.

“Kara!” said Ms. Sabatino again. “Release those poor earthworms. They'll probably love it in the courtyard.” Ms. Sabatino turned to the class. “Any volunteers to help Kara with these buckets?”

Then a surprising thing happened. A weird, exciting, surprising thing. Two hands shot up. One was attached to Chip Tyler. The other was attached to Evan! Ms. Sabatino nodded toward Evan, who picked up two of the buckets and headed out of the classroom. I grabbed the third bucket and followed.

Even though it was probably good for Evan to see what it felt like to be dumped, I still felt bad that his girlfriend jilted him for defending me. So as soon as I caught up with him I said, “Sorry about you and Maybelline.” (Yeah. I said Maybelline. Oops!)

Evan looked at me for a second and I think the heat coming from my face could have roasted a marshmallow at that point. “I meant to say Colleen,” I added quickly.

He looked at the ground and shook his head. “Don't worry about it,” he said. Then he chuckled. “Maybelline. I get that. She does wear a lot of the stuff, doesn't she?”

I'm glad he thought it was funny, but I sure didn't. Tabs and I promised that we'd
never
tell other people the nicknames we use. I mean, if it gets back to Maybelline that we call her something other than Colleen, she'll ruin our lives! I begged Evan not to repeat that (instead of denying I said it, like I should have).

He smiled. “Your secret is safe with me.” I think he meant it.

I told him again how sorry I was that his relationship was ruined and he said, “It was bound to happen sooner or later. She's not really that nice.”

He laughed when I agreed. You know, there aren't many good things I can say about Maybelline
,
but I have to admit that the few days Evan spent under her discerning eye really helped his appearance. He was wearing cool clothes, had a great haircut, and his sideburns made him look even cuter. Of course, Evan always looked pretty good to me.

I only had one thought on my mind as we walked back to class and that was:
I was right all along! Evan Carlson is supposed to be my soul mate!

At least having to meet with Ms. S gave me a good excuse to cut my chat with Tabbi short. It was hard to talk to her because the whole time she was blabbing about James I wanted to blurt out, “Since you like James so much, I guess you won't mind if I like Evan.”

I never did get the nerve to say it, though. Probably because I already knew what the answer would be.

I really don't feel the need to tell my parents about the dreaded F+ because Ms. Sabatino is going to give me a chance to bring up my grade! The first thing she asked me was, “Why didn't you follow through with the project described on your science fair application?”

“I did follow through,” I said. “I distributed one hundred and fifteen surveys, compiled the data, and created a graph.”

Ms. Sabatino raised an eyebrow that had been plucked to perfection. “So why didn't you use it for your project?”

“Mr. DeLacey said my sample wasn't large enough.”

“Hmmm. He may have had a point. But you could've surveyed more students.”

“I know,” I sighed.

She crossed her arms and looked at me in a way that means
Keep explaining, kid
to every kid who's ever been in trouble.

“Well, Mr. DeLacey also said there was nothing scientific about the surveys,” I continued. “He suggested that I start with something new.” I was tempted to tell her that Mr. D had also predicted I'd thank him when I got a grade higher than an F. Shows how much he knows about the future, because I'm not wasting a single breath to thank him for that little plus sign.

Ms. Sabatino stood up and started pacing. “What subject does Mr. DeLacey teach?”

“Algebra.”

“I fail to see why you considered his opinion without asking mine.”

Once she put it that way, I failed to see it, too. What good was Mr. DeLacey's opinion? So far, the only thing it had gotten me was after-school detention and the lowest grade of my school career.

“If you had come to me, I'd have encouraged you to keep the theme of your original project, even if you had to adjust it a bit. Scientists do their best work on topics that interest them. And I have a feeling you're a lot more interested in relationships than earthworms.”

No argument there, but it did make me blush. I can handle a little embarrassment, though, because Ms. Sabatino said that she'd give me a chance to redo my project for a B (if I do a super-great job). She said I should stick to the original topic but could change all other elements of the experiment. And I don't even have to turn it in until the end of the semester, which is after the actual science fair, but all I really care about at this point is losing the F+! Ms. Sabatino is the coolest!

I like the way Chip laughs. When he laughs, it's not one of those breathy giggles or chuckles that only involves a person's mouth. Chip's laughter sounds like it comes from deep inside. Like his soul is happy. I couldn't help but notice this today because something really hilariously funny happened when Ms. Sabatino handed back my notebook with the earthworm project data.

Like I mentioned before, I designed my science project notebook to look almost
exactly
like my soul-mate project notebook. Of course I'd
hoped
something hilariously funny would happen, but usually I'm not so lucky.

Anyway, once the notebook was in my hands, I purposely left it on my desk and went to sharpen a pencil. Maybelline fell for it! Before I could get back to my seat, she'd grabbed it. “Aha!” she sneered. “
Now
we can see who you've been writing about in
Soul Observations
.”

Heads turned. I told her to give back the book — that it was my private property. This only encouraged her. (I knew it would!)

“It's not really
your
book because you have to be writing about us. What other souls do you know? Can't be many.” She was whispering loudly, in an attempt to keep her voice low enough for Ms. Sabatino to pretend not to hear while watching YouTube science videos, but loud enough for everyone else to tune in.

I made a fake grab for the book, which prompted Maybelline to flip it open and start reading. “What?” she gasped. “This isn't about souls!”

“Right,” I said. “It's about soils. You'd have known that if you read the cover carefully in the first place.” I ripped the journal from her hands and held up it for the class to see. Maybelline looked shocked, then embarrassed. (Which is the first time I've ever seen
that
expression on her face.)

Then Chip about fell out of his chair laughing. Most people don't want to go head-to-head with Maybelline so no one else laughed out loud, but quite a few others were suddenly finding the tops of their desks awfully amusing. Chip didn't seem to care, though. He laughed so loudly that Ms. Sabatino was forced to stop pretending she didn't hear us and start a lesson, which wasn't the best part of the scenario.

Neither was the part where Maybelline's well-mascara'd eyelids narrowed and she hissed, “Is this the same book I saw the first time?”

I nodded. “I've been working on the earthworm project for some time.”

She didn't look exactly like she believed me. But she didn't look exactly like she didn't, either. Mission accomplished.

Well, the tables have turned and I'm not sure where my place is anymore. Because now instead of
me
seeking
him
out, Evan is seeking me out. No kidding. He came over and talked to me before school yesterday, and today he sat with me at lunch. Tabbi hadn't gotten to the cafeteria at that point, but when she arrived, she blew right by us. She and James went and sat near the windows instead.

If only Tabbi had broken up with Evan instead of the other way around! Because he's so nice (other than dumping Tabs) and so funny. I'm always laughing when he's around. I can't help it! But I wish I could, because I was laughing at something he said in the cafeteria when I looked up and caught Tabbi's eyes. At that particular moment, they looked like eyes that belonged in a face that had never laughed. Even her eyelashes looked angry. And she wouldn't answer my calls or my texts after school.

So I'm going to have to find somewhere to sit tomorrow where Evan won't find me. At this point in my life, I need a BFF more than I need a BF. And Tabbi's eyes told me that she's not over Evan yet, no matter what her mouth says.

End of discussion.

I can't help thinking about Chip laughing when Maybelline grabbed my notebook. I mean, was he doing that to impress me? He certainly didn't care about what Maybelline
thought! Or did he just laugh because he thought it was funny? I thought it was hilarious myself. And I can't help thinking about Evan, either. Because when
I
sat with
him
at lunch, it was because I was interested in him. Does it work both ways? Could I, Kara McAllister, actually have two guys interested in me?