The Billionaires Mistress (18 page)

“You’re hurting me”.

She had managed, feeling his grip instantly slacken, allowing her to pull herself free from him, as she had stepped backwards, her escape barred abruptly by the wide bark of a tree. Groaning she had no choice but to look at him, to once more be alone with the man who had broken her heart so many years ago. The man she had thought herself to be over, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that she had not moved on one inch in her feelings for him in that whole time and Jenna needed to be away from him. He however, had only moved closer to her, and she had fidgeted nervously, her whole senses bombarded with everything so familiar about him, his smell, the way his eyes held hers and Jenna had dug her nails deeply into the soft flesh of her palm to try to stop herself from gently falling against him, the pain giving her enough strength to face him.

“What do you want Ryan?”

“I want to talk to you”

He had said softly, his breath gently fanning her hair showing how close he actually was, her whole body signalling how his close presence, his sensual voice was affecting her, as she had closed her eyes momentarily with the pain of the feelings which were swamping her. With her voice shaking she had dropped her eyes from his.

“We don’t have anything to talk about Ryan. We said everything we had to say four years ago”.

Her eyes had flown up once more as he had given a groan of pain.

“No Jenna. I was a fool. I didn’t believe you would go. We should have talked about it, found a way of working things out; we could have if we had tried”.

She had shaken her head fervently.

“No. Please don’t Ryan there was nothing we could have done”, her eyes looking so pleadingly at him.

“We were going to work it out of our system...and in your case I’m sure that was true.....but I couldn’t, not the way I felt. The only way for me was to put distance between us”.

She had flinched as his hand had come to cup her cheek, to gently angle her head back to look at him.

“When I got home and saw your keys, I knew you had left.....I didn’t know what to do ........I looked for you Jenna, but it was as if you had fallen off the face of the earth”.

Having his hand on her, his thumb gently stroking her cheek, she was struggling, her voice almost inaudible.

“It ...it was for the best”.

His voice had become harder as he had moved right against her Jenna putting her hand onto his chest to halt him, the feel of him under her fingers making her shiver with want.

“Best for who Jenna? Not for me. I still wanted you, needed you in my life. You gave up on us and ran”

Looking at him with disbelief she had stared back.

“You selfish ... I told you I loved you and you told me to grow up.....not to expect any more than what we had, and I knew that one day, one day you would find somebody else and I would be out of your life forever. You broke my heart Ryan”.

His look had become more tortured as his forehead had fallen against hers, Jenna biting her lip to stop the small groan as their heads had met.

“You knew my view on relationships” he had whispered, as she had nodded against him.

“I did....and that is why I have never blamed you.....but I had to get away, and I told you, I was honest about my intentions too”.

Ryan had made a small sound of pain.

“I missed you Jenna.....I still miss you”.

Jenna had fought the tears that threatened as she had pushed against him, needing so badly to be away.

“It’s too late Ryan, my feelings have changed I’m with Craig now”.

She had felt him stiffen as his tone had become harder.

“I’ve watched you and Craig, and he is not the man for you Jenna”.

She had shaken her head.

“And who are you to say that Ryan? My relationship with Craig is my business, now let me go”, her voice firmer but still shaking slightly.

“You still feel it don’t you?” he had whispered, his mouth moving to her cheek.

“You still feel the way we affect each other, the way he and you will never feel”.

With that his mouth had dropped and covered hers, Jenna pushing hard against him, whimpering with the need to be away from him, before her treacherous body had betrayed her, her hands flying around his neck, her kiss matching the intensity of his her body moulding perfectly against him, as his hands had pulled her in harder to him.

“You feel it....tell me you feel it “ he had whispered, his mouth kissing down her cheek down her neck, as she had nodded, her fingers sliding down his side, feeling as he had shuddered at her touch. She had not stopped him, as his fingers had pulled at the buttons on her sleeveless top, nor as he had unhooked from the front the bikini top she had pulled on, his eyes moving to devour her perfection, to stare at the erect nipples so hard for him. Jenna feeling some sense returning as she had whispered.

“Stop.....please stop Ryan”.

Gasping and groaning as his mouth had dropped to suck in one nipple, her body stiffening with the unexpected pleasure, her hands flying to his head, holding him to her, her hips moving in harder to his feeling the bulging throbbing hardness of him as he had continued to raise her so high. Her body was on fire with the actions of his tongue, feeling his hands on her hips, slowly moving into the elasticated waist band of her gypsy skirt, sliding down to caress her buttocks, Jenna squirming uncontrollably, feeling the wetness gushing between her legs, her breath coming out in short pants.

Her hands had moved to his waist, her fingers like his sliding under, feeling as his breathing had become as ragged as hers.

“I need you” he had whispered, his voice fraught with that need, as she had nodded against him, not aware that she whispered in return.

“Yes.....oh yes”.

His mouth had returned to hers, his kiss pulling the very air from her lungs as her hands had moved back up, around his neck, her body slowly writhing against him as his hands had caressed the swelling of her bottom. Jenna was lost, her need for him swamping every voice of reason that tried to invade her mind. She wanted him, needed him.

She had felt as he had pulled back slightly, his breathing so ragged, his voice hoarse.

“Not here Jen”.

Whispering huskily against her ear, “Come to my room”.

His words like a deluge of water, the full enormity of what was happening crashing down on her, as with a sob she had started to cry, pushing him from her as she had lifted her hands in an attempt to fix buttons with fingers that shook so uncontrollably before finally giving up and staring hauntingly at him.

“Are you happy now Ryan?” the tears flooding down her face.

“Did you get what you wanted?”

He had moved forward.

“I never meant for this to happen Jenna...it just did...it just proves ...”

At that she had sobbed again, moving quickly as she had sidestepping him, needing to be as far from him as she could be, her heart breaking and hating herself.

“Leave me alone..........just stay away from me” she had cried at him, her arms wrapping around herself to hold the top closed.

Ryan had called after her, thumping the tree bark cursing himself at his inability to hold back from her his whole body wanting her back.

Jenna had run unseen through the empty lobby, all the other guests thankfully still sleeping. She had run up the stairs not bothering with the lift, as the tears had streamed down her distraught features. Finally reaching the safety of her room, she had thrown the door open, Craig wakening instantly, his sleepy features looking at her with surprise, before he had woken fully, seeing as Jenna had stood with her back against the door, her shirt lying open crying hysterically.

Throwing the covers off, he had rushed over to her, pulling her into his arms.

“What happened.......My God Jenna, were you attacked”.

Feeling as she had shaken her head against him, sobs wracking her small frame.

She had clung to him her whole body shaking,

“N.n.no”.

“Then what?” he had asked, real concern in his voice as he had made small assuring sounds against her head not knowing what to do, what had happened.

“What the hell happened to you?”

“I...I can’t talk about it” she had finally managed, pulling herself from him, dashing away the tears with determination, her face still so stricken.

“I need a shower” she had bitten out, as he had stared at her with such concern.

“Jenna?” he had once more asked, as she had put up her hands, pleading with him to ask no more questions.

“I can’t Craig; I just can’t talk about it”.

Moving to the bathroom and standing under the pummelling needles of water, she had allowed the shower to slowly remove the smell of him from her, the touch of him, the tears once more flowing before she had slid down to the floor. Pulling herself into a small ball her heart had broken yet again, the pain as intense now as it had been all those years ago with Jenna blaming and hating herself for being such a fool, for not being able to hold back from his kisses, for realising that she was as much in love with him now as she had been four years ago.

When she had finally left the bathroom Craig had looked at her expectantly his eyes taking in how tired and distraught she looked, seeing as she had refused to look his way. Wordlessly he had moved into the bathroom, sure that she would tell him everything when and only when she was ready.

As he had returned Jenna was standing by the window fully dressed, her arms hugging herself protectively as her eyes had stared sightlessly into the cloudless sky.

“I kissed him”.

She had said softly, Craig moving to sit on the chair close to her, silently letting her talk, listening as she had in an expressionless voice told him of the events of that morning, desolately looking at him as she had finished.

“I am such a fool Craig” she had said, her voice full of the hurt so clear in her eyes.

Standing, he had moved forward pulling her into his arms, his hand gently stroking her hair, softly making soothing sounds against her head.

“It will be fine Jenna” he had spoken, just holding her rocking with her.

Below them partially hidden in the trees Ryan had watched Jenna, his whole being in complete turmoil. He had planned to take things slowly, to make her see that they had unfinished business, but the moment he had held her in his arms all his resolve had vanished. As Craig had moved to pull her into his arms Ryan had felt the searing white heat of jealousy, wanting to go up there and pull her from the other man’s arms. With a frown he remembered that Craig was her fiancé, the man she had agreed to marry, determination filling him that by the end of the weekend it would not be Craig she was leaving with.

In their room Craig had taken his finger hooking her chin and raising it to look into his eyes.

“Jenna Long...........you are the smartest, kindest woman I know.......and you and I are going to go down into that room and join all the other delegates...........and I am never going to leave your side”.

Jenna had felt the chuckle leave her lips as she had nodded softly, taking his hand as the two of them had moved out of the room for breakfast.

Jenna had moved around the room, Craig as promised not once leaving her side. They had enjoyed the breakfast, although he had frowned seeing how little she ate, her eyes constantly scanning the room, Craig frowning knowing who she was looking for. Ryan Trudeau however, had never appeared.

The day had been organised in a series of workshops and presentations, with each contractor expected to showcase their part of the project. Craig and Jenna had not been scheduled to present until the following day, so they had relaxed enjoying listening to the plans of the others. As the first had began Ryan had finally appeared, dressed in an expensive suit, as most of the men were, Jenna nervously looked over at him, his eyes catching hers instantly causing her to gasp with the electric jolt that had passed between them. For the rest of the day she had clung to Craig, seeing as Ryan had kept a distance from her, unable to stop her eyes from wandering over to where he sat so relaxed and calm, while her insides felt as though they were being torn apart piece by piece.