The Best Friend (11 page)

She soon hung up, frustrated and a little despondent over the never-changing cycle of her baby sister. She fielded other phone calls then, from both Tracy and her mom, who also received similar glowing reports from Vickie, and were as worried and exhausted of the cycle as Gretchen was. It might have been time to simply cut Vickie off. Here she was, criticizing Tony’s brother and his parents for enabling his outrageous behavior to continue, while ironically, she and her family did the same thing with Vickie. Enabling her. Maybe it was time for Gretchen to take her own damn advice. But then… her mother begged her to check in again and make sure Vickie was okay. And so, the cycle continued, because Gretchen couldn’t stand to disappoint anyone in her family.

****

Tony accepted Will’s insistence on hanging around him for another week until they were scheduled to fly back to Washington State, Will’s new home. And Tony almost grudgingly had to admit it was kind of…
nice,
to hang out with Will again. Jessie wasn’t so bad either. She was kind of funny; especially when she put Will in his place in such a way that Tony could appreciate. She was also extremely kind to him without appearing uncomfortable, as most people were.

They were leaving on Saturday, and his mother invited them over for brunch, along with Donny, Vickie and Gretchen. Tony sucked in a sigh at hearing the news. He’d done more socializing in the last ten days than he had for the last two years, combined. He wasn’t fond of it either. He looked forward to Sunday, when everyone would return to their homes, their work, as well as their lives, and forget all about him.

Gretchen trailed her sister. She ducked her head in a shy smile when her gaze caught Tony’s. He felt her presence and her smile, which thrilled him right down to the tingling of his toes. What was it about her? Why did she still cause such a physical reaction inside of him just by being in the room? He had reacted to her the same way ever since he was thirteen years old. It was ridiculous. And all it did now was illustrate what a schmuck he had become.

Donny and Vickie cuddled while speaking in hushed tones between themselves. Donny’s eyes were glazed over with something Tony had never seen in his usually smart, savvy brother. He was so snowed by Vickie Moore, he couldn’t even raise his head to join the conversation. She was, apparently, the most scintillating woman in existence. Tony could hear their giggling, and rolled his eyes at their cow-eyed interactions.

Gretchen and he exchanged a look across the table. Maybe she did call it right, and he should have tried to at least warn Donny. But, looking at him now, he feared he was already too late. Donny and Vickie had his mother’s attention. She was watching them with an expression that almost looked like glee on her face. She soon made a huge effort to draw Vickie into the conversation. Tony knew how she longed for both of her sons to get married and start families.

This time, at the meal, there was no near brawl. The conversation was light, easy and casual. They soon finished and dispersed into the living room or the kitchen to start cleaning up.

Alone now, Tony stretched his legs out and glanced down to find Christina crawling toward him. She tried to climb over his legs, but couldn’t and nearly toppled over. He moved his leg gently and leaned down to steady her so she could grab onto his sweatpants to pull herself up. Patting her head, he offered her his finger to grab onto. She looked up at him, drool running over her chin before her gummy mouth smiled with delight. She used his leg like a handrail and walked nearly all the way to his chair before she stopped and laughed. Why was she smiling so joyfully? He had no clue. She gurgled and shrieked, so he chuckled and put a hand on her head to pat her. She gurgled all the more, then grabbed his hand, and guided his finger into her wet, gooey mouth where she proceeded to chew on his finger. He cringed, but patiently allowed her to drool all over him.
Ick.
What else could he do? Pull his hand back? She wouldn’t understand his reason and it might have even made her cry. So he let her gummy jaws chew on his finger.

“Look at that. You can smile.”

He glanced up to find Jessie smirking at him, with one eyebrow raised in surprise. He made sure to scowl again. “Yeah, I can smile.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed you like babies.”

“I like babies just fine. They can’t be blamed if they say or do anything stupid.”

Jessie laughed. “God, you even got me beat on being the super cynic. That’s something I didn’t think was possible.”

He eyed her. “I’ll admit it surprised me that Will’s ceaseless optimism hasn’t completely brainwashed you yet. He’s pretty good at that.”

She sat in the chair near him and put her arms out for Christina to hold as she started to waddle her way. Christina reached for her mother’s arms with a squeal. “He can’t help being so good. You know that. Don’t hold it against him.”

Tony shook his head in near amusement. “You’re really not anything like what I pictured as his wife.”

She pushed her dark hair behind her ear. “No. I always come as a surprise to people. But then again, so are you, as his friend.”

Tony inclined his head. She had him there. “I’m sure you don’t think too highly of me.”

“You were nice to my baby when no one was watching. That’s enough character reference for me. Besides, Will thinks the world of you; and that means something.”

“Will’s been a good friend. I guess I forgot that for awhile.”

“Maybe you could remember it and try to forgive him for all the things you think he did wrong.”

He nodded. “You’re good, Will’s wife. Yeah. I could do that.”

She smiled and sighed as Christina was now racing away on all fours. “Well, we’re off again.”

Tony watched Will move quickly to block Christina before she could reach the stairs. She giggled and plopped down on her butt. Grinning down at her, Will lifted her up so she was over his head. She reached for his face and giggled with laughter. Her drool ran down in strings onto Will’s face, but he didn’t flinch, or rub it away. He grinned right back at his daughter and tickled her softly to maximize her already infectious laughter
. Ick.
Tony shuddered a bit at the drool. But Will manned up and didn’t even wince or cringe. It was a rare sight for him: seeing his muscle-bound, former warrior friend cooing in strange, nonsensical words, and using a baby-like voice as he smiled and baby drool clung to his face. Huh. It appeared that many more things had pulled a one-eighty from Will’s former life.

Gretchen came in and smiled as she patted Christina’s back. Did it hurt her to see the baby? Did she picture the baby she might have had with Will? Or Will as the father he could have been to
her
baby? Again, the crux of why their relationship on his end had always been so complicated for him:
Gretchen
. Yet, Gretchen never came between them in Will’s mind. Only his.

The Hendrickses soon collected their belongings and little Christina. They both hugged Tony and wished him well, while promising to visit again soon. They made the rounds with the rest of the group and soon left. Tony actually felt a little ping near his heart.
What?
Almost a tinge of sadness at seeing them go. It was a new sensation. He was usually glad when visitors left.

As their car pulled out of the driveway, he glanced up to find Gretchen’s gaze still fastened on him. She said few words to him, and he avoided looking at or speaking to her. He didn’t know why. He didn’t know what she meant the other night. And he, sure as hell, was good and ready for everyone to not know any more about him and leave him the hell alone.

He claimed to be fatigued before loping down the stairs, anxious to get away. The sight of his happy brother, and the train wreck girl, now wrapping him around her finger, irked him. Mostly, however, he yearned to get away from the only person in two years who could make his heart beat faster just by her mere presence.

****

“Gretchen? What are you doing here? Tony’s still sleeping. He rarely gets this early.”

Gretchen smiled at Leila, and nodded at Lewis before Leila swept her arm, indicating for her to come in. Gretchen showed up there at nine a.m. Leila led her into the kitchen and waved for her to sit down as she quickly poured her some coffee. Gretchen added some creamer while contemplating how to approach this. They might not accept or appreciate her input; but, after witnessing Tony’s behavior, she didn’t care. She did care, however, about what happened
to
Tony and
for
Tony. Be it based on their history, or losing his arm, or because she suddenly noticed him as something more than just Will’s best friend, the reasons really didn’t matter; she intended to address Tony’s injury and the life he tried to shun and avoid living.

“That’s fine. I wanted to talk to you both anyway.”

Leila leaned across the counter and refilled the coffee in her cup. “Sure. I’m glad to have you here. Always was. I hope you know that. It means a lot, your returning to Tony’s life.”

She smiled. That’s what they thought now; just wait until they heard the next thing out of her mouth. “I think Tony needs help.”

Leila’s smile wavered slightly. “I know. We know. We try, but he refuses to accept most of it.”

Gretchen sipped the hot liquid to hide the look of shock as she thought to herself.
Could they really think Tony wouldn’t accept help?
All he did was sit around idly, soaking up pity and swimming in self-loathing, while his mother performed all the activities he couldn’t, or wouldn’t.

“No offense, but all Tony does is require help. You need to kick him out. He needs to find something significant to do, something for which he must be accountable. He needs a purpose and a reason to motivate him and force him to deal with his amputation. Allowing him to fester, like a boil, idly passing the time by doing nothing in your basement, isn’t helping.”

Lewis dropped the cup he took out from the cupboard overhead; and Leila choked on the sip of coffee she’d just taken. “What!”

Gretchen cleared her throat and averted her gaze; now she stared out the window. She tapped her finger on the counter and decided it was better to be quick and get straight to the point with them. “You need to stop doing everything for him. That includes his laundry, and buying his choice of groceries and cooking his meals. You need to make
him
do something. Anything that has even a little bit of value. Whether it’s a job, or handing out pamphlets at the local hospital. I don’t care. Just urge him to find something to do that has a goddamned point to it. And no more coddling him. He does nothing, because you allow him to. He is intentionally rude and abrasive because he feels like shit when he thinks about his lifestyle. I think we all get that. So, if he won’t take any initiative and make the first step towards living without his arm in a constructive manner, I think we have to.”

Leila shook her head. “You’ve been around him exactly three times. You had no contact with him for over five years. How dare you come back now and tell us our methods for dealing with this are failing. You don’t know. You don’t know anything. So don’t you dare sit there and suggest that I kick my handicapped, irrevocably injured son out of my house! I WILL NOT! Do you hear me? I would never do such a thing to him. I am so fortunate he came back to me still alive, and I am grateful for that every single day. A dozen steps to one side or the other, and Tony would have died. My son,
not yours
, would be
dead.
You didn’t even stay in touch with him. Some fair-weather friend you are. So don’t dare sit there and tell me what
I
need to do. I will
never
turn my back on my son who barely came back to me.”

Gretchen’s mouth dropped halfway through Leila’s passionate speech. Leila nearly screamed as she paced the kitchen.

Lewis put a hand on her shoulder, and glanced at Gretchen with a kind smile. “I know what you think you know, but you really don’t. You don’t know about this. All the counseling schools in the world can’t really teach you what this is like. You don’t know what it’s like for a man like Tony. Or for parents like us. You simply can’t be serious about coming here just to tell us to kick our son out. Forget it.”

Gretchen slowly closed her mouth. Then, with a hasty nod, she ran her fingers through her hair anxiously. “Okay, perhaps you’re right. But can’t you see this isn’t doing him any good. He’s no longer
Tony.
He’s not even nice anymore.”

“I don’t need him nice, I just need for him to survive.”

Gretchen pressed her lips together and stifled her reply. Okay, perhaps she failed to assess the extent of grief this catastrophe created not only for Tony, but also his parents. However, there was such a thing as enabling someone. And also tough love. Or making someone more independent.

She tried a different tactic. “You saw, didn’t you? When Donny and he nearly came to blows the other night? I didn’t imagine that. I didn’t make that up. Donny has had it with him up to here,” she said as she raised her hands to chin level. “I’m telling you right now: you’re about to lose one son if you don’t start trying to change the other. You might think that’s okay, but I don’t. And I still know what you’re currently doing isn’t in Tony’s best interest. You can hate my reasons, and hate how I say this, and hate me for saying it, but you’re not doing him any favors.”

Leila gripped the counter. Her breathing was audibly accelerated. “Do you know what the suicide rate is for Afghanistan vets? Do you, Gretchen the Doctor? Do you know how often it happens? Do you know what it’s like to check a room each morning, and get flooded with relief at finding the person inside it hasn’t taken a gun to his head overnight?”

“Leila
,” Lewis warned softly.

Gretchen gasped at the vivid, gut-twisting image. “No. I don’t.”

“Thirty percent, Gretchen. Thirty percent of veterans from Iraq and Afghanistan have contemplated or attempted suicide. You see how unhappy Tony is. Can you begin to see my greatest fear?”