The Berenstain Bears Chapter Book: The G-Rex Bones (7 page)

“Is he kidding?” Sister whispered to Brother as the mayor droned on. “Does he think Actual Factual and the
G-rex
are getting married?”

“Well, in a way they are,” Brother whispered back. “The
G-rex
is the greatest display in the whole museum. I’m sure the professor has a very special feeling of affection for it.”

The crowd gave a thankful sigh when the mayor finally ended his boring speech and introduced Professor Actual Factual. They gave the professor a standing ovation. (Of course, they were already standing, anyway.)

“Thank you, friends, Beartowners, and visiting scientists,” said Actual Factual. “As much as I’d like to, I won’t bore you with a long scientific lecture about
Gigantosaurus rex
. Suffice it to say that the great creature clearly lived up to its name. And now, without further ado, here’s what you’ve all been waiting for: the unveiling!”

Actual Factual signaled to the workbears who were in charge of the great ropes tied to the veil. They pulled on the ropes and down came the veil, landing in a crumpled heap at the skeleton’s huge bony feet.

A hundred gasps could be heard as a hundred pairs of eyes lifted toward the skylight. The massive feet, legs, chest, and tail all made quite an impression on the audience. But what instantly drew everyone’s attention was the immense head. The great jaws were slightly open, as if the beast were gathering breath for a monstrous roar.

“Wow!” said Sister, shivering a little. “What huge teeth it has!”

“All the better to eat you with,” teased Fred.

“But what
tiny
hands it has!” added Sister.

“All the better to pick its teeth with after it eats you,” said Fred.

“Cut it out!” snapped Sister. “You’re scaring me!”

“Okay, Fred, cool it,” Brother cautioned. He turned to Ferdy. “Well, what do you think now, Ferdy?”

But Ferdy didn’t even hear him. His gaze was set on the
G-rex
, and a frown was fixed on his face. He was lost in deepest thought.

Lizzy, Bear Country’s biggest nature lover, had been speechless until now. “My goodness!” she gasped. “It’s a magnificent creature! What a shame it went extinct!”

“A
shame?
” said Sister. “You gotta be kiddin’, Liz! I’m
glad
that big ugly thing is extinct! If it wasn’t, I’d move to another planet!”

At last the hushed crowd found its voice. Its hands, too. It broke into applause, with cries of “Bravo!” and “Magnificent!”

Twirling his cane, Ralph Ripoff came forward to place a sheet of paper on the table. He motioned for quiet. “Don’t mean to break up the party, folks,” he said. “But the time has come for what I’ve been waiting for: the signing. Gentlemen, if you would please take your places …”

There were two chairs at the table. Actual Factual sat in one, Sandcrab Jones in the other.

“Mr. Jones,” said Ralph, handing the old hermit a pen, “if you would sign first, please.” He pointed to the spot on the bill of sale. But Sandcrab just stared at it. He motioned Ralph to lean closer and whispered in his ear.

“Well, then,” said Ralph, “in that case, just make your mark.”

Sandcrab smiled a toothless smile and drew a little picture of a crab on the line meant for his signature. He handed the pen to Actual Factual.

“And now, Professor,” said Ralph, with barely controlled glee, “if you would put your ‘Actual Factual’ right here on the dotted line …”

The professor placed the point of the pen on the dotted line and began to write.

Suddenly, a cub’s voice echoed through the rotunda. “Stop! Don’t sign it!”

All eyes turned to the speaker. It was Ferdy. He dashed to the
G-rex
and pulled a tape measure from his pocket. He measured the width of a leg bone and looked over at his uncle with alarm. “You mustn’t sign it, Uncle Actual!” he cried. He hurried to the table, leaned over it, and whispered something in Actual Factual’s ear. As the professor listened, his eyes grew wide.

“I most certainly will
not
sign!” announced Actual Factual, jumping to his feet. He pointed accusingly at the great bony creature. “This so-called fossil skeleton is not a
G-rex!
In fact, it isn’t a fossil skeleton at all! It is a
hoax!
”

Chapter 12

King of the Giant Hoaxes

At Actual Factual’s shocking announcement, a nervous murmur rippled through the crowd in the rotunda.

“How do you know it’s a hoax, Professor?” shouted a reporter.

“Because of what my brilliant nephew, Ferdy Factual, just pointed out to me,” said the professor. “I should have seen it myself, of course, but I’ve been so wrapped up in the chemical tests that I just didn’t notice it. Perhaps I was also so excited about this great discovery that I didn’t
want
to notice it. Ferdy, why don’t you explain it to the audience?”

Ferdy stepped to the podium and disappeared behind it. Quickly, Actual Factual moved a chair behind the podium for Ferdy to stand on. When the cub’s face reappeared, it was beaming with pride at the chance to show off in front of the media and fellow scientists.

“I observed the fossil bones out at Dead Bear’s Gulch,” said Ferdy, “but it didn’t occur to me then. It wasn’t until I saw the skeleton all put together that it hit me. The
G-rex
is twice the height of the largest
T-rex
ever found. But it has the same basic body shape as
T-rex
, which means that its
weight
must have been much greater than twice that of
T-rex
. That we know from the basic laws of physics. And yet the
G-rex
bones are only
twice as thick
as
T-rex
’s.” He pointed to the towering skeleton. “Those bones could never support the weight of that body. In fact, it would be
impossible
for a creature with
G-rex
’s body shape to reach such a height. Its bones would have to be so thick that there would be no room left for flesh or internal organs. Thus, we know that whoever planned this hoax was neither a biologist nor a physicist.”

“An excellent observation, Ferdy,” said Actual Factual as he replaced his nephew at the microphone. “What strikes me is that the chemical makeup of the phony fossils is so accurate. There must have been a very brilliant chemist involved in this hoax …”

The professor broke off and stared into space for a long moment. Suddenly, his eyes lit up. “I know who it was!” he cried. He scanned the audience until his gaze came to rest on a bearded scientist wearing a name tag that read:
DR. REX GIANT, BIG BEAR UNIVERSITY
. He pointed directly at the scientist and cried, “It was he! Seize him!”