The Anal Sex Position Guide (18 page)

WHENEVER I TEACH
an anal sex workshop, inevitably someone asks me, “What’s the best position for anal intercourse?” That’s like asking, “What’s the best flavor of ice cream?” There are so many positions to choose from and what someone likes (or doesn’t like) depends on many different factors. Each position has its own pros and cons, and even those aren’t universal. As you consider the different positions in this book, you’ll see some themes start to emerge. In deciding which positions work best for you and your partner, here are some factors to consider.

Some positions are easier to get into and more comfortable to stay in than others. And it’s different for every person. If you have bad knees, Doggie Style might put too much strain on them, but Missionary will work well. Some positions, like Standing, are better for a quick romp because most people can’t stay in them for a very long time. Others, like Spooning, work best for a long lovemaking session where you have all the time in the world. There are some positions that may look like lots of fun but just aren’t realistic for you or your partner. Always consider your flexibility, strength, mobility, and stamina. If a certain position puts strain on a muscle or joint, takes too much energy to sustain, doesn’t support your neck or back properly, or just feels too awkward, try to adjust something to make it work. You can make some positions more comfortable by simply using a pillow or a Liberator Shape. But if it still doesn’t work, abandon it and move on; better to listen to your body than end up in the chiropractor’s office the next morning!

In a face-to-face position such as Cowgirl, partners can look at each other, talk, connect, and easily read each other’s body language. If you’re new lovers and don’t know each other very well or you’re trying something for the first time, consider a position that allows for maximum verbal and nonverbal communication. In some positions (such as Tailgate) you can’t make eye contact at all; in others (such as Spooning), you can’t do so without craning your neck. In these cases, subtle cues can be harder to pick up. But some people know each other’s bodies quite well and have no problem speaking up about what they want; these folks can be very versatile when it comes to choosing a position. On the other hand, some couples like the anonymity that a rear-entry position can afford them. For some, positions such as Doggie Style help them feel less inhibited about another form of communication: dirty talk. They feel freer to say naughty things to each other because the pressure of staring into each other’s eyes isn’t there. They can spin elaborate tales, describe raunchy scenarios, or share secret fantasies when they’re not facing each other. Sometimes, all it takes is a look away from each other for partners to get into character or spew dirty dialogue (“I’ve never done this before…”) as part of erotic role play.

Different positions provide partners access to select parts of each other’s bodies. Do you want to be able to rub her clit while you penetrate her? Try Upright Missionary or Cowgirl. Do you like to stroke his balls while he penetrates you? Give Reverse Cowgirl or Reverse Froggie a whirl. Are your nipples super-sensitive and you love to have them played with during sex? His nipples can be easily pinched and tweaked in Cowgirl, hers in Fly on the Wall. Can you squeeze her butt cheeks and spank her? You might like Doggie Style. Do you want a rear-entry position where you can kiss her neck and ears? In Tailgate and Spooning you can do that. Do you want to use a vibrator during intercourse? You can use a small one in lots of different positions, but if it’s a large plug-in wand style you crave (such as the Hitachi Magic Wand), Spooning and Reverse Cowgirl work great. When you are thinking about different positions, keep all these factors in mind because each position will give you access to different sensitive spots and erogenous zones on each other’s bodies.

Every person’s body is unique and the way that two bodies fit together is also. Experimenting with different positions means you can find just the right angle. For instance, some positions angle both partners’ bodies ideally so that his penis can hit her G-spot, such as Doggie Angle when she has her head down. Some men have a curve in their penises, so one position can feel better than another and Twister-like positions such as Double X are just out of the question. Related to the angle is the depth of penetration. Some positions—including Spooning—allow for short, shallow strokes. Others—such as Flying Doggie Style—are ideal for deep, powerful thrusting. If your partner’s penis is long, you can try positions that emphasize shallower penetration; similarly, if he’s got a short one, experiment with deep-penetration positions. Regardless of his size, if you want to feel deeper, more powerful penetration, choose a position where he has a full range of motion and can really put his weight behind him.

While many positions give partners the opportunity to take turns thrusting, riding, and drilling, some have much less switching potential. The latter kind of positions put one person on top—in a metaphorical sense and sometimes in a physical sense—to run the show. This can be an important element for couples. Some people love to take charge, exert authority, and set the pace; others revel in having their partner just throw them down (or up or over) and “do them.” There’s nothing wrong with wanting to give it up or lie back, relax, and take it—as in Horizontal Tailgate position, where he is the more active partner and she is much more focused on receiving. But this facet of a position is not just about a sense of dominance; it’s also about who takes charge of the action and does most of the work. For example, she does lots of work in Cowgirl (although they can also switch off) and Superman takes a great deal of strength on his part. That can be an important consideration when she is pregnant, he has limited mobility, one partner is much heavier than the other, or someone has weak joints or a bad back.

How does the position affect the orgasm? In several different ways. Some positions are easier and others more difficult for achieving orgasm—and it depends on the person. Some experts say that men can prolong intercourse and delay ejaculation when they are on their backs. Others believe that if a man is in a position where his spine is straight, he can have much longer lovemaking sessions. Some guys need to be in a position where they can thrust fast and hard in order to climax, so positions that avoid this prolong the time before they come. Whether a woman can have an orgasm in a certain position usually has to do with the angle of penetration and whether clitoral stimulation is possible. Is there a certain position that has become a familiar part of your sexual routine, so familiar that you’ve gotten used to having an orgasm in it? If you feel as if you’re stuck in a rut, it’s good to experiment. Mix things up and practice having an orgasm in a different position than usual. It will keep things fresh and give you options when it comes to coming. Or perhaps you
need
to be in a specific position in order to orgasm. If this sounds familiar, remember, just because you come in one position doesn’t mean you can’t try out lots of different ones and switch to your reliable one when you’re ready to climax.

The final thing to consider when choosing a position is the overall dynamic, energy, or vibe of the sexual encounter. A position can set a particular mood or put you in a specific frame of mind. For example, Yab-Yum is best for slow, sensual penetration. If you like it fast and hard, try one of the Doggie Style positions; some women say that in these positions, they feel more vulnerable, more submissive, and it’s easier to completely surrender control to their partners. Others say the opposite about Cowgirl: when they are on top, they definitely feel in control. Maybe you like to look at your partner while you’re making love. Perhaps you like to be watched, to put on a show for an audience of one. Do you want to be as close to your partner as possible? (Try Yab-Yum Extra Yummy). Do you want to be in charge of the movement? (There’s Reverse Froggie for her, The Y for him). Is this a quickie (Standing) or luxurious Sunday morning sex (Spoon & Fork)? Some positions can feel anonymous or be ideal for rough sex (Standing Doggie), whereas others put the focus on romance and intimacy (The Chairman).

“Win or Lose”

by Rachel Kramer Bussel

D
ESPITE MY STATUS AS
one of the best basketball players in the country, off the court, I’m on the shy side. People have always assumed because I’m tall and athletic that I have women swarming my bed, but the truth is, it takes a special kind of woman to handle me—a woman like Katya. We met when I first went pro, and she managed to look like a girl I could’ve met at church, with her gently rolled brown hair and pastel suits, but be a wildcat in the bedroom. She was far more experienced than I was when we met, yet it wasn’t a problem in the least.

I liked the way she taught me about how to turn her on. She was patient, and never made me feel any less of a man. The longer we were together, the more we tried—bondage, threesomes, spanking, to name a few. But we found that the one act that we both enjoyed more than any other was anal sex. The first time I got my cock inside her sweet little hole, I thought I’d never want to do anything else. It wasn’t just that she was so tight, even with the generous amount of lube we used. It wasn’t just the sight of my dick disappearing between her cheeks and the way she wiggled her ass for me. It was that she went absolutely wild, screaming louder than she had when I’d bent her over and screwed her doggy-style the week before.

Her reaction floored me, because I still thought that women only really put up with anal sex to please their man. Oh, how little I knew…soon I was massaging her ass cheeks, spreading them wide, slapping her as I pulled slowly in and out, wanting to prolong the pleasure. But then Katya was begging for my come. “Please, Mark, come in my ass, I need you to,” she panted as she played with her clit. I couldn’t resist her plea, or my own body’s cravings. I filled her with my come, and it was one of the most powerful orgasms of my life.

Katya’s sex lessons weren’t over, however. The next night, I felt her fingers wandering lower than usual as she gave me a massage after a particularly long day on the court. She pumps iron when
she’s not running her own real estate company, and her strong hands had melted my muscles into compliance. I wasn’t really paying attention as she started squeezing my butt, then kissing me there, but I perked up when her tongue began teasing my asshole. I’d never so much as put a finger back there, but her hot tongue made me want more. She taunted me, licking gently, until I was forced to ask for it. “Katya…will you put your finger inside me?” She laughed, a deep, rich, sexy laugh—but she didn’t do what I most wanted, not just yet, anyway.

“I didn’t even have time to be shocked that I was the one getting my ass licked, because it felt so damn good I had to try not to come then and there.”

Instead, she blew on my bottom, cool air greeting my puck-ered hole. Then she slapped my ass, the reverberations rocking through me. She knew what I was craving, and wanted to make me wait. “Yes,” I whispered when her tongue met my anus, licking gently where no tongue had ever gone before. I didn’t even have time to be shocked that I was the one getting my ass licked, because it felt so damn good I had to try not to come then and there. “Play with your nipples, Mark,” she ordered, and when I didn’t do it fast enough, Katya slapped both of my ass cheeks.

Right away, I did her bidding, and soon my body was humming with pleasure. Her tongue dove deep inside, soft and warm yet powerful, too. She pulled it out and then her thumb gently stroked my hole. I tried my best to open for her, and she slowly worked her digit inside. I was utterly vulnerable to her entry, humbled when confronted with this side of my wife. Instead of her panting, begging for my cock, I wound up being the one doing the begging. That night, she wound up getting three fingers inside me, fucking me good and hard even after I exploded all over our sheets.