The Anal Sex Position Guide (13 page)

        
Wink

by M. Christian

“U
M, WELL
… how did you … and her … of course I mean her. I mean how did you, and she …?”

My own fault, really. I’m just too nice, that’s the problem. Lou just looked so lost and confused. He’d needed someone to talk to and since no one else at Ace Electronics Repair seemed like they could be bothered to reach out to a fellow human being in need of some guidance, I’d naturally just stepped up to the plate.

At first I just thought he’d needed someone to talk to. It wasn’t until our tenth or twelfth loading dock burrito that I put enough capacitors and resistors together in my head and got it that he wanted to talk about something specific, something he couldn’t talk to anyone else about.

It wasn’t until our fifteenth or eighteenth foil-wrapped silver bullet of Latino cholesterol that I added a few transistors to the circuit diagram between my ears and figured out that what he wanted to know something about was sex.

I’ve been around. Okay, I’ve been somewhat around. Maybe not all the way around but at least … oh, I don’t know, halfway between here and there. Here maybe being jerking off a lot as a kid, and I mean a lot more than kids normally jerk off, and there being that time I got a BJ in a gas station bathroom from someone I thought was a girl but was really a guy but it was too damned good to really matter.

I tried my best. I even drew for him what I thought were some rather skilled illustrations. I suggested some reading material, nothing with bunnies on it, if you must know. I tried as best I could to pass on my here to there, not quite around the world, sex information to Lou.

It wasn’t until my fiftieth or fifty-second attempt to explain the mysterious landscape between a woman’s thighs that I finally put the right voltage into my brain to get what he was really interested in.

That and he managed to stammer out: “Um, well … how did you … and her … of course I mean her. I mean how did you, and she … in the butt?”

Ah, the butt.

For me it was somewhere between jerking off too much, him (who I thought was a she) asking “Are you freaked?” and me replying “Hell no, keep going.”

“You got to be careful about it. Some women like it, some women hate it. You got to know someone quite a bit before you bring it up—unless she brings it up first.”

It didn’t take days of burritos on the loading dock for me to figure out that Lou hadn’t been just generally confused about sex, he’d been confused specifically about butt sex. He hadn’t been looking for someone, anyone to help him: He’d been looking for me to help him the whole time.

My own fault, really. I’m just too open, that’s the problem. I don’t brag but somehow it had come up and I just had to put in my two cents on the matter with some of the guys in the shop that Shirley, my girl of two months, and I were regular and enthusiastic about … well, butt sex. Which led to many burritos until Lou got around to asking.

Which led to me trying to answer.

How’d I get her to do it? Well, Lou, it’s not for everyone. Guess you know that, right? Not one of those first-date things—well, not that often anyway. You got to be careful about it. Some women like it, some women hate it. You got to know someone quite a bit before you bring it up—unless she brings it up first. That’s kind of what happened with Shirley and me. I told you about Shirley, right? This girl I’ve been hanging out with. Nice girl. Got a great laugh and a nice face—and a killer bod, everything where it should be and that everything isn’t too big or too small. Just the ticket, right?

Anyway, it was on our third date, I think. We were fooling around at my place. She’s hungry, Shirley is. In the sack she’s all ferocious: grabbing me here and there … especially there, if you know what I
mean. Loves to use her mouth, too. I think she’d stay down there all the time if I’d let her. Not that she doesn’t like to fuck. Oh, no. But she really likes to suck. And she’s great at it, too. Just the right amount of everything there, too: tongue, lips, throat. Quite a gal … quite a gal.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Well, with Shirley it was all nice and natural. We were fooling around, getting really hot and heavy. I was behind her and she had her ass high the air. I was going at it nice and hard, really driving it home, and she lifts her head and says something. I’m not big at paying attention when I’m really going at it so I actually had to slow down and then even stop to hear what she said. “You can fuck my ass,” is what she said.

“I actually had to slow down and then even stop to hear what she said. “You can fuck my ass,’ is what she said.”

Well, I tell you, she didn’t have to ask me twice. I’d done some of it—not much with the previous girlfriend but the one before, she liked it when she got really good and wasted. You got to be careful about that kind of thing, you know. Can’t just rush into it. Got to take precautions, too. Luckily I had some baby oil around. So I put a little on her to start, then I carefully worked it around to ease her up a bit. That’s when you can tell exactly how careful you have to be. If you slowly slide one finger in and she doesn’t say anything then you know she’s done it a bit before. Put in two and know she’s pretty regular. Put in three and if she doesn’t hiss or squirm or say anything you know it’s all going to be smooth sailing.

With Shirley I could tell that she really liked it, not just because I had four fingers in her ass but also because when I did she really started to make some noises right along with it. Real good noises. The kind of noises a girl makes when she’s ready to start clawing the bed, which is just what she did when I began to ease my cock into her. Before long she and I went from “easy does it” to serious, hardcore fucking. Man, that was sweet. So fucking sweet.

There’s something about a good ass-fuck, you know? Or maybe you don’t, which is why I guess you’re asking. But there is, man. There
really is. Tight, sure, but it’s more than that. It’s like it’s kind of … nasty, but more than that, too. It’s like you and she, well, it’s like you’re doing something that takes more than just fucking. Anyone can fuck, but when you play with her ass … she’s got to be really into it and really into you for that to happen. Shirley and I got that, which is damned good.

But that wasn’t what he wanted to know: “Um, well … how did you … and her … of course I mean her. I mean how did you, and she … in the butt?” he asked again.

You mean did we make it a regular thing? I’ll tell ya, Lou, with the girlfriend before last it was a once-in-a-while thing. Get her drunk enough and she’d do it, but then in the morning or the next time we got together she’d pretend it didn’t happen. That was okay, I guess, but it kind of bugged me, you know? Like it was a secret thing she wasn’t really happy to do, or was freaked out by. But Shirley, she’s ready for it anytime. In fact I think the girl likes it better than just a straight-up fuck. Screw that, I know she does. Hell, one of her favorite things is to suck me—did I say she likes to do that? She does, man; she really does. She gets up on the couch with me after we have a couple of good beers and she just starts in. After a while, though, she gets her own pants off and starts to work her pussy. But she doesn’t stop there. Oh, man, no.

After a while she starts to work her own ass. I didn’t know that was what she was doing but then I saw her legs were really wide apart and she kept wiggling them back and forth. She was on her hands and knees, you know? I leaned way over, but careful so that she wouldn’t take my cock out of her mouth, and put my hand on her ass—and sure as shit I felt she had a couple of fingers in there, fucking her own ass as she sucked me off.

She does that all the time. That’s how much she likes her ass. I love her ass, too, of course, but I think she likes it even more. After she sucks me off a bit then she just turns around and shows me her ass, by then it’s all nice and juicy and open for me. She’s tight, yeah, but it doesn’t feel like I’m going to hurt her. She’s done all the early work herself with her fingers. So then I go in and we start to really go at it.

And, man, we go at it. Hard and fast, like a pair of fucking animals. She pushes back when I push in, she growls and yells like she
does, with me doing the same. That’s a Saturday night for us: beer and ass-fucking. It’s good man … it’s really damned good.

But that wasn’t what he wanted to know: “Um, well … how did you … and her … of course I mean her. I mean how did you, and she … in the butt?” he asked yet again.

He didn’t mean how to do it, he didn’t mean how I got her to do it, he didn’t mean how we made it a regular thing. “What do you mean, Lou?”

“I mean … how do you, how does she she … like it. How do you know she likes it?”

“she really started to make some noises right along with it. Real good noises. The kind of noises a girl makes when she’s ready to start clawing the bed, which is just what she did when I began to ease my cock into her.”

I smiled, grinned, just-about-laughed, and then I thought about what he was asking. How did I know, how did she show me. I pictured Shirley turning around, showing me her lovely, firm, and wonderfully shaped ass. I remembered the pink loveliness of her asshole. I thought about her looking over her shoulder at me, the way she glowed with want, needing to be fucked in the ass. Then she did something with both one eye and her glistening asshole.

“She winks,” I told Lou.

———————————
M. Christian’s numerous stories have appeared in such anthologies as
Best American Erotica, Best Gay Erotica, Best Lesbian Erotica,
as well as in the collections
Dirty Words, Speaking Parts, The Bachelor Machine,
and
Filthy.
He is also the author of the novels
Running Dry, The Very Bloody Marys, The Painted Doll, Me2,
and
Brushes.

ARE YOU READY TO
move on to the positions master class? Let’s say you can do the basic positions in your sleep and you’ve spent plenty of time enjoying lots of the intermediate ones. You’re hungry, you’re curious, you’re daring. Well, then you’re ready to learn some of the more complicated, intricate, and creative anal sex positions. Remember that some of these require a level of strength and flexibility that not everyone has; some may simply feel too difficult to sustain. Don’t worry, and just have fun experimenting with them. And don’t be afraid to make changes to each one in order to adapt it for your specific needs.

In the Superman position, he begins by sitting on the edge of the bed. She sits in his lap facing him and wraps her legs around him as he penetrates her ass. Then, he stands up and holds her as she holds onto his neck and shoulders. He has double duty: He’s in charge of holding on to her as well as doing all the work of thrusting.

Superman is a standing position that’s perfect for quickie sex. It is a good choice for couples looking for slow, sensual lovemaking or gentle, shallow penetration, since there isn’t a wide range of motion possible. Partners are face-to-face so they can talk, look into each other’s eyes, and do plenty of kissing. It’s also good for a partner with a long penis, or if he is much taller than she is.