Tears on My Pillow 2 (6 page)

                   I need to buy myself some more time so I pretend to be clearing my throat and then start coughing again. I pound myself in the chest with the side of my fist for better effect. I don’t know if I should tell her the truth and ruin the day we have had because she doesn’t remember it, or if she does remember and is just testing me to see if I will tell her the truth. I take a huge risk and decide to lie. “I don’t know anyone with that name. Why?”

                   I hold my breath waiting for her reaction because if she remembers, she is going to go off like a bomb because I straight up lied to her just now. “The name keeps swirling around in my head and I don’t know why. I thought maybe she is a friend of ours or something.”

                   “Nope,” I say and silently release the air I had been holding in. When Qia lays back down in my lap, I look up to the ceiling and mouth ‘Good looking out’ to the Man above.

                    “It will come to me in time,” she says while making herself comfortable in my lap again. I sit there trying to get my heart rate back down to its normal beats per minute. I pretend to watch the movie as her words keep replaying over and over in my mind. It will come in time. I down the full glass of Johnnie Walker Blue and sit the glass on the nightstand.

February 7
th
, 2014

Friday

Chandler

                   I pull into their driveway and honk the horn. Within seconds, the door swings open and she steps out of the house. I see her warm smile and those sexy, slanted eyes. My heart immediately starts thundering in my chest. As I watch Qia walk towards the car, wearing no coat as usual, I notice how much fuller her breasts are recently. Damn, I didn’t think her titties could get any bigger but I guess I was wrong. Maybe I’m just looking at her differently these days. I can’t help but notice how fucking sexy she looks. I raise my eyebrow at the fact that even her hips appear to be a little bit wider than normal too. But hell, I am definitely enjoying the view, so I am not going to complain. I shake my head and close my eyes, feeling my dick swell in response to my thoughts. I take a moment to get myself together.

                   She opens the passenger side door and slides down into the passenger seat. I have to consciously look the other way so that I don’t watch her ass as it comes towards me. “Hey Chan,” she says once she is in the car. She leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek then leans back into the seat and straps on her seatbelt.

                   “What’s up Q?” I say out loud, silently wishing that I could suck on her soft lips.

                  “Not a thing.”

                   “Well, I figured we could go to Friendly’s so you could indulge in your favorite dessert.”

                   She scrunches up her pretty face so I ask, “You don’t want a Jim Dandy?”

                   “Not really. Let’s go to the mall.”

                   “Which one? Holyoke or Eastfield?”

                   She thinks a moment before answering. “Holyoke.”

                   “Cool. Holyoke, here we come,” I reply as I back out of the driveway and head towards I-91.

                   I look over, watching Qia as she takes in the scenery. “Have you started back running yet?”

                   “No, not yet. Why do you ask? Are you trying to call me fat on the sly!?” She turns her head and looks at me, one perfectly shaped eyebrow raised.
Get it
together Chan
, I think to myself.

                   I’m not sure if she is kidding or if I really upset her so I quickly say, “Nnnn...nooo...no, that isn’t what I mean at all.”

                   Qia busts out laughing. “Look at you...ha ha ha…all stuttering and shit!”

                  I reach over and lightly slap her leg, forcing myself not to let my hand linger. “Well, now that you mention it, a few spots have gotten a little bit thicker. I just wanted to make sure that you were fully recovered before I said anything.” I glance over at her and smile to take the sting out of my words as I pass a minivan doing 40 mph in the middle lane.

                   “Shut up Chan! You swear you’re funny, don’t you? To answer your question though, smart ass, I haven’t started back running yet, but I will soon.”

                   “Do you have any idea when you will be going back to work?” I ask as I merge from the left lane into the right, so that I can get off at the next exit.

                   “I don’t know. Jakari gave me the FMLA paperwork so I have to take that to the doctors and then, I guess I will get a return date.”

                   I nod my head and put my right blinker on. “Makes sense.”

                   I turn into the parking lot and immediately wonder why I let this girl talk me into going to the mall on a Friday. The parking lot is packed. We drive up and down about four aisles before I find a spot that is located in the boondocks. “Oh, this is going to be a cold hike,” Qia says as I pull into the spot.

                   We get out the car, and I straighten my scarf and hat as Qia starts walking towards the mall. I close my door then lock it. I walk away and almost get caught up to Qia when I check my pocket for my cell and notice I don’t have it. I turn around and go back to the car and see it sitting on the console. I unlock the door and grab my phone. I slip the phone into my coat pocket and begin jogging to catch up to Qia. I slow down to admire her ass and the fact that it has also gotten fatter. “Hey Qia!” I yell cupping my hands around my mouth to help amplify my voice. “Your ass is fatter too!”

                   She spins around to face me. “That’s fine, it makes it easier to do this though!” she yells back. She turns her back to me and begins twerking. That shit looks sexy as hell. Ass is flinging everywhere. I lick my lips and wish like hell she was doing that shit on my lap. I feel my pole growing like Pinocchio’s nose.

I gotta redirect my energy because this woman really turns me on more and more every day. I need to get my blood flowing to other parts of my body so I yell, “C’mon Qia, I’mma race you to the door!”

                   We take off running like fools. I just barely beat Qia to the Sears’ entrance. I hold the door open for her. Once we are inside, I ask, “What store do you want to go to first?”

                   “Well, since you keep talking trash, I want to get some sneakers from Finish Line.”

                   It takes Q about 45 minutes to pick out some running gear and 3 pairs of sneakers. I don’t mind though because it gives me a chance to just sit and admire her. I’ve always stayed out of their business, but it frustrates me at times that my brother can’t stop cheating on her. I know he loves her, but his ass is just so damn selfish and too set in his ways to change. I don’t know what the fuck it is that he thinks he is looking for. I guarantee you, if I got a taste of Qia, there would be no woman on this earth that could tempt me.

                  Qia pays for her items and we leave Finish Line, heading back out into the mall. We patronize a few more stores: Macy’s, Forever 21 and end up in the Coach store. She is admiring some type of purse or bag. Since she obviously likes it, I decide that I am going to get it for her birthday, which is in a couple of months. “What type of bag is that?” I ask, so I can know what to ask for when I get hers.

                   “It’s a Coach business bag. It is from the Swagger Collection. Since when have you become interested in bags?” she teases.

                   “I’m bored as hell, so I am just trying to make conversation,” I retort. I make a mental note that she is really eyeing the burgundy one, or excuse me “oxblood”, which is the name of the color showing on the tag.

                   We do a quick walk through of Bath and Body Works before exiting, without buying anything. Needing my caffeine fix, I decide that I want to go to Starbucks. When we get there, I see an unoccupied bench right across from the store. “Q, go hold that bench down for us while I get me a latte. You want something?” Qia shakes her head no, her ponytail shaking across her shoulders. She goes over to the bench and sits down. I get in line and wait to place my order.

                   I order and pay for a Tiramisu Latte. I am standing at the counter, waiting for my order, when I glance over at Qia. She is staring intensely at something. I follow her gaze but can’t really tell what she is looking at. However, she is giving it her undivided attention. The barista brings me my drink and I shake my head at the name written on the cup: “Lando”. I go sit down on the bench next to Qia. I take a sip of my steaming hot latte and she is still preoccupied, staring into the distance. I look in the direction she’s looking but don’t see anything, so I nudge her with my elbow to get her attention. “What are you staring at so seriously?”

                   “You see that woman over there with the red shirt and short hair cut?”

                   I take a sip of my drink, unsure where this is headed. “Yes, what about her?”

                   “I have seen her face before but for the life of me, I can’t remember from where.”

                   “Hmmmm, does she work at RU?” I ask, trying to help jog her memory and thinking,
I bet that bitch has something to do with my brother.

                   “I’m not sure.” She shakes her head and sighs. “Story of my life lately.”

                   I can see that she is really upset about not knowing who the woman is, so I change the subject. “You ready to go?”

                  “Actually, I am. Can we hang out at your place?”

                   “Of course.”

                   “Good, I can cook for you then,” she says and her mood seems to brighten with that thought.

                   “Sounds like a plan.” I finish my drink, drop the cup in the trash next to me, and take the bags from Qia. As we exit the mall, Qia grabs my arm, looks up at me and says, “Thank you.”

                   I turn to her confused. “Why are you thanking me?”

                   “For trying to help me, remember where I know that woman from. It means a lot to me.”

                   “Oh, no problem.”

                   “Your brother refuses to do things like that.”

                   “Really?” I say, pretending to be shocked by her statement. He definitely wouldn’t do anything like that because it’s probably some chick he is currently screwing or has screwed at some point, and he doesn’t want her to remember. Who the fuck am I to be judging him? I mean hell, I probably think about making love to his wife more than he does. Damn, this shit is getting crazy.

                   I pop my trunk and place Qia’s bags inside. We get in the car and I pause for a minute to put Kanye’s Yeezus album in the cd player. I start up the engine just as my cellphone begins to ring. I take it out of my pocket and look at the caller ID. I smirk and send Jakari’s ass straight to voice-mail.

                  I go to put the car in reverse when I see Qia giving me the side eye. “What’s that look for?”

                   “Who is that, one of your chicken heads?”

                   I chuckle. “I wish. It is actually your husband who, undoubtedly, is calling me to rant because we are out together. He feels like I distract you, for some idiotic reason.”

                   Qia holds up her hand. “Give me a high five.” She is smiling from ear to ear. “I am tired of him trying to keep me on a leash,” she says as we high five each other.

                   I merge onto the main road from the mall parking lot and head back down I-91 towards my house. Qia is sitting quiet while looking out the window. She seems like she is deep in thought. I can tell that she is still in her feelings about Jakari not putting forth the effort to help her regain her memory. I hate being caught in the middle, as usual, but I hate even more to see her upset. “Qia, I know you’re upset that J hasn’t been doing as much as he could to help you remember and that he keeps a tight grip on you, but he loves you and he is extremely protective over you. I’m sure this has been hard on him as well, but he will come around soon.”

                   “Has he always been this protective over me?”

                   “Yup, since day one.”

                   “So, he only trusts me with you, huh?”

                   I chuckle. “He used to and even that changes from day to day.”

                   “What do you mean ‘used to’?”

                   “When you said you love me the day you woke up, that kind of changed his mind for good.”

                   I don’t think I’ve ever seen Qia get so mad so fast. Her eyes flash, and her voice gets loud and shrill. “He’s ridiculous! I do love you and there is nothing wrong with that!”

                   I open my mouth to respond when I feel her hand on my thigh. I damn near run off the road. It is so unnerving how she sends electric currents through my body with the most innocent of touches. I am in so much conflict with myself over my feelings for Qia. I have always loved her, no doubt, but lately, I have been feeling like I am in love with her. What the fuck am I going to do? I have to stop this somehow. I don’t want to end my friendship with Qia by making a move on her and most importantly, I don’t want to betray my brother, even though he doesn’t deserve her. I am so relieved to be pulling into my driveway at this moment because I need to put some space between us before I do something foolish.

                   “When are you going to get another car?” I ask and put the car in park.

                   “I’m waiting for the insurance company to pay off the old car and then, I will go from there.”

                   “Aight.”

                   We get out the car and walk up to the side entrance of my house. I unlock the door and push it open, allowing Qia to step inside ahead of me. I turn to face her after locking the door, but she is gone. She has wandered into the living room and is staring at a photo when I get in there. The picture is of the two of us when we were fourteen. I stand silently, waiting to see if the picture sparks anything for her. She picks the picture frame up, and I can see her thumb running up and down the side of the frame. She starts to smile. I’m curious, so I ask, “What are you thinking about?”

                  She looks at me briefly. “Do you remember what happened the day we took this picture?” She turns the frame around so that the picture is facing me. I think for a moment.