Tears on My Pillow 2 (7 page)

“No. Nothing, other than my mother begging us to take the picture.” I chuckle at the memory.

                  “Are you serious Chan?” she asks, stretching her eyes and causing them to widen.

                   “What happened Q?” At this point, I am racking my brain to try and piece together some arbitrary event from twelve years ago.

                   “We kissed that day, Chan! How could you forget that?”

                   I open my mouth to deny it, just as the moment begins to play out in my head. Shit, she’s right. We did kiss that day. It was right after my mother took the picture. We went in the backyard to go over some football plays. Qia would always ask me to teach her some of the plays because she attended a lot of the games to support me. One day, she confessed that she didn’t understand the game. So, I came up with the idea to run some plays with her to help her understand, and no doubt allow me to touch her more. On the very last play, I allowed her to tackle me. When she rammed into me, I fell backwards on purpose and she landed on top of me. She was so happy and so excited, but all I could concentrate on was her lips. Before I could really rethink my decision, I covered her lips with mine. Our lips touched and our tongues explored each other. It felt like time was moving in slow motion. I remember that I even moved my hand up and massaged her breasts. The memory of her nipples hardening underneath my hand has me hardening again now.

                   Qia jumped up and I could see how nervous she was. I wanted to say something to her, something cool or something funny, but I didn’t know what to say. We stood in awkward silence for what seemed like a lifetime, avoiding eye contact. She finally broke the silence and said that she needed to leave, so she could go home and study. She runs off into the house before I can say a word.

                   The next day, Qia and I hung out as usual and even did some studying together. I wanted to bring up what happened, but since she didn’t say anything, I just left it alone. Plus, right after that, she started dating Jakari, so I guess I just pushed it out of my mind. If Jakari knew that Qia and I had shared a moment like that, he would have gone ballistic, and definitely would have done everything in his power to keep us from being friends and hanging out together.

                   I have always loved Qia. I will do anything to keep her in my life. I grin nervously, coming back to the present. “We sure did Q. I had forgotten about that.”

                   “Things are starting to come back to me, Chan.” Qia smiles. “The memories of you always come so easily though.” She puts the picture frame back on the end table. “You know you were my first kiss, right?”

                  “HELL NO! I didn’t know that. Is that why you never brought it up?” I ask excitedly.

                  She gives me a shy grin. “Yes. I didn’t know what to say and you never said anything, so I didn’t either.”

                   All I can do is stand here and think about what might have been, if I would have said something to her. Maybe, she would have been my girl. Maybe, we would have gotten married and have a couple of kids by now. Damn, why didn’t I speak up?!

                   Qia cuts off my “what if” moment when she asks, “What food you got up in here?” while going into the kitchen. I follow behind her. She looks first in the fridge, then the freezer. “Chan... you don’t have a damn thing in here!”

                   “Qia, you can remember kissing me twelve years ago but you can’t remember that a Brotha don’t cook? Damn, I must’ve really put it on you, girl!”

                   She balls up a napkin and throws it at me. I swat it back at her and race over to the sink. I turn the cold water on full blast and cup my hands under the stream. I turn around and splash the small amount of water that gathered in my hands in her face. She screams, “Chan, you jerk!” I rip a paper towel off of the roll over the sink. I walk over to her and hand it to her. She takes this opportunity to punch me in the middle of my chest. I fake an injury and sit down at the table. We both laugh as she takes a seat at the table as well.

                  “I’m gonna order a pizza from Frankie and Johnnie’s, you in?” I pull out my cellphone to call them.

                  “That’s fine.”

                  “Chan, be honest with me please. Why are you single?”

                   Her question throws me for a loop. “What makes you think I am single?” I search the contacts in my phone, and tap on Frankie and Johnnie’s phone number.

                   “For starters, you talk about all the time we spend together. Then you go and take a day off to hang out with me. Ain’t no female in her right mind putting up with that type of shit.” She laughs.

                   I laugh with her. “The last chick just didn’t work out.”

                   “Oh, so you were seeing someone?”

                   “Yes, a few months back.” I hold up my pointer finger indicating for Qia to hold on a minute and place the order for a large combination pizza. I provide my phone number, address, and credit card number before hanging up. I am hoping the slight pause in the conversation will shift Qia in another direction but no luck. She picks right up from where we left off.

                   “Hmm, I don’t remember her. What is her name?” Qia squints her eyes as she searches her mind, trying to remember Azia, I guess.

                   I plan my words carefully. I don’t truly know how to answer this. I don’t want to lie to her but I also don’t want to be the spark that causes her to remember Azia and Jakari fucking in her master bathroom either. “I really don’t want to talk about her,” I reply, trying to play it off.

                   “Is her name Azia?” Qia asks without hesitation.

                   I freeze. Oh fuck. “Ahhh…yes…actually it is.” Fuck, I can’t believe she remembers Azia. I hold my breath waiting for the anger, but it never comes.

                   “Oh wow! I knew one of you guys had to know her! I asked Jakari about her and he said he didn’t know her, but I knew I had met someone with that name before. The funny thing is he had the same crazy look on his face that you have on yours when I mention her name. Were we friends?”

                   “Who?” I ask. Fuck my life, this seriously can’t be happening.

                   “Stop playing! I mean Azia and I.”

                   “No, you only met her once. Qia-” I am saved from the interrogation by a knock at the door. I jump up from the table and silently thank God that the pizza man arrives when he does. I open the door, sign the credit card receipt, and accept the pizza, giving him a $10 tip for the distraction.

                   Jakari is still fucking lying. He knows good and got damn well that he knows more than Azia’s name, but he’s still playing games. I don’t know why he doesn’t just sit down and lay everything out on the table instead of playing cat and mouse with Qia’s memory.

                  When I return to the kitchen, I see Qia stretched to full capacity, on her tiptoes trying to reach the plates, which are on the very top shelf in my cabinet. I place the pizza on the table and step up behind Qia. I playfully smack her arm out of the way. “Girl move; you know your short ass can’t reach nothing.”

                   Qia turns around laughing and looking as beautiful as ever. Her breasts brush up against me.  I stare into her face and feel just like I did twelve years ago. I step back quickly, so that she can move out of the way and I can fight my urge to kiss her again.

                   “Shut up!” she says and blows me a kiss, as if she can read my thoughts. I take two plates out of the cabinet and sit down at the table so that we can eat.

February 7
th
, 2014

Friday

Kelly

                   I’m standing outside of Things Remembered waiting for Sade to come her ass out the store. She’s in there trying to get some nigga’s watch engraved for Valentine’s Day, knowing damn well she probably won’t see his ass until the next day and then, he will come by empty handed at that.  I reach in my over-sized tote bag and rummage around for my cellphone. I finally give up the blind search and look down in the bag to locate my phone. I pull it out to check and see if I have any missed calls or texts. I’m praying I will hear from Jakari but even though I dropped the allegations, he hasn’t contacted me. I guess Azia’s young pussy got his head gone.

                   I begin to feel like someone is watching me so I look up from my phone and look around. When I look to my left, I notice a woman sitting on a bench across from Starbucks. It takes me a minute but as I glance in her direction, I discover it’s Qia, Jakari’s wife. I am used to seeing her at the University more dressed up and just in passing, of course. She is also the screen-saver on Jakari’s phone, so I certainly remember the face. I am not sure why she is staring at me but I continue to scan the area as if I don’t notice her. I wonder if she knows who I am? If she does, she better act like she doesn’t because I would love to be able to hurt her feelings up in this crowded mall today. I decide to pretend to scroll through FB and wait to see if she approaches me. I smile to myself because that bitch is staring too hard!

                   I begin to watch her out of my peripheral when I see a fine chocolate brotha approach and then sit down next to Qia on the bench. I am not sure if she knows him or not at first because she doesn’t acknowledge him when he sits down next to her. Eventually though, I see him nudge her with his elbow and they begin talking, so at that point, I assume they are here together. I am not sure what they are talking about but they both look over at me for a second, and then turn to each other and continue their conversation. I wait a few minutes before I look directly at the two of them because I didn’t know if they would turn their attention back to me and notice that I am watching them as well. After a couple of minutes, I figure it is safe to look at them. I notice that they are packing up to leave so it quickly pops into my mind to take a picture of her and her companion.
I feel like this will come in handy sometime in the near future
, I think to myself as I snap the picture.

                     Sade comes up behind me. “Who are you taking a picture of?”

                   “Damn! You scared the shit out of me! Why are you so freakin nosey biddie?” I ask after damn near pissing on myself.

                   “That’s because you doing something apparently you don’t have no business doing heffa.”

                   “Ha, ha, ha,” I laugh. “You’re right about that. You see that girl over there with the long ponytail and the slanted eyes?”

                   Sade looks over and says, “Yes, I see her but damn who is she with because he is doing something to me? He got my got damn legs weak!”

                   “Bitch focus! I don’t know who he is but she is Jakari’s wife.” I look at Sade and wait for her reaction.

                   “The cute, green eyed bandit you were fucking with?”

                   “Yup.”

                   “Oh shit! Well, how you end up fucking with him because apparently, he like them mixed bitches with pretty hair and exotic looking eyes?”

                   “Hoe, you tried it, for real! How you know she mixed?” I ask irritated as hell.

                   “Because us true black bitches don’t have long straight hair like that or eyes like that unless we buy it. Hell, his ass probably got some white or something in his blood too because green eyes. Really? What hood they do that in?”

                    “Oh my God! You are such an ignorant broad. I don’t know why I hang with you. You need to do some research on your African American people because we come in all shapes, sizes, hair textures, and eye colors. Just because we have it doesn’t make it exotic or fake, bitch.”

                   “Hmmmm, not where I’m from. We have short kinky hair and regular colored eyes,” Sade says, rolling her eyes and her neck.

A girl that is standing to my left turns around and says, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to eavesdrop but I just want to thank you for trying to educate your friend. I am so tired of people feeling like girls who look like me aren’t representative of the African American race, that our features are purchases or are considered an exotic trait that black girls don’t possess. My long curly hair, my figure eight shape, and my green eyes are all natural and courtesy of my African American mother and father.”

                   “Girl, you’re welcome. I’m embarrassed that you even heard her ignorant behind.”

                   The girl smiles at me and rolls her eyes at Sade before walking away.

                   “I know that bitch wasn’t rolling her eyes at me? She must want me to dot one of them green fucking eyes!” Sade says sounding salty.                                       

                   “You mad or nah?” I say, laughing at her saltiness. But anyway, back to the subject at hand. I am going to text his ass and let him know his wife is here with another nigga.”

                   “No, you’re not!” she says getting all hyped.

                   “Watch me work,” I say as I go to my messages and tap on Jakari’s name. I type with Sade looking over my shoulder

So you want to be faithful to her but she out with the next nigga??

“I bet he won’t ignore this text like he has done all my other ones,” I say to Sade as I hit send.

                   “Girl, you’re crazy as hell!”

                   Like clockwork, he responds.

WTF?

I’m standing here looking at your wife with another man. He fine too.

Quit with the games bitch you at work.

No nigga, actually I have the day off.

Where are you?

I look at Sade before messaging back. “See how a nigga all interested now. A few days ago he was ignoring me so hard, you would have thought his fingers was broken.” Sade giggles and shakes her head in disbelief.

Anywhere you want me to be.

                   Sade slaps me on my arm. “You too damn much, for real!”

What this nigga look like?

O so now you believe me?

Fuck you Kelly.

When?

                   “Owww bitch,” I growl because she pinches the shit out of my arm.

                   “Sorry, but you out of pocket with that one!”

                   We both stand there for at least five minutes, waiting for Jakari to respond, but I guess he trying to play big man on campus because he chooses not to say anything else. It pisses me off so I go into my gallery and text him the pic of his precious bride with another nigga and caption it ‘Ya hoe ain’t loyal’.

                   I drop my phone back into my tote and look at Sade. “Girl, pick your lip up off the floor.”

                                 “Why you send that man that?”

                   I choose not to answer and start walking towards the exit. We have just gotten into my car when I hear my phone chime. I laugh when I pull out my phone and see that Jakari has finally text back. I look over at Sade. “I knew that picture would get his fingers working again.”

                   “That’s him.” She leans over towards me. “Let me see what he says?”

                   I place my arm on the armrest and lean to my right, so she can have a better view of my screen. I tap on the thread so we can read it.

LMFAO! That’s my brother bitch!

                   Sade immediately throws her fist up to her mouth and begins yelling, “Oooooooooo, that’s cold.” I cut my eyes at her before responding back.

O, so because he yo brother that makes him unfuckable!

                   Sade is thoroughly enjoying herself at this point. She is rocking back and forth in the seat. “Bitch drops mic and exits stage right!”

                   “Bitch, you so stupid!” I say and join in on her laughter. I wait for a second but of course, a nigga gets quiet on that note. I drop my phone in the cup holder. I start up my car and pull out of the parking spot.