Teach Me Love (18 page)

“Oh my god! Baby are you okay,” she cries out. She brings us into her arms and whispers how much she loves us. I tell her everything’s going to be okay. But is that true? Will everything be okay?

Chapter 28
 

Abigail

The weeks go by and Jacob has been keeping his distance. He left me a letter telling me everything he’s feeling.

My dearest Abigail,

I’m sorry about causing you all of this pain and trouble. When I first met you, I knew I had to have you in my life. You’re my world. My sun. My everything. I can’t imagine life without you but I also can’t keep causing you grief.

I’m sorry for doing this sweetheart but I can’t keep breaking you and putting Lucas in danger.

You’ll forever be in my heart.

Always yours,

Jacob

I hold the letter to my heart and break down again. Lucas keeps asking for Jacob and I don’t know what to say. So much has been going on.

First Ryan died and then Madison was arrested. She admitted to running me off the road and fleeing the scene. She pled guilty and was sentenced to life in prison without a chance of parole. We all went to her trial. It was quick but painful. She apologized to us in court but it still didn’t make up for all the wrong and hurt she caused.

Following Madison’s trial, we had to bury Ryan. His funeral was sad for everyone. George wouldn’t look at me or Lucas. Patricia, Katherine and Ryan’s mother, came over and apologized to the bo
th of us about everything. She asked if she could meet Lucas. At first I was hesitant but brought him over and introduced them. It was great to see the look of love in her eyes. George refused to come over but Lucas went to his side and held his hand. Eventually it seemed like he was beginning to warm up to his grandson. After the funeral, we talked to George and Patricia. They wanted to be in Lucas’s life and repeatedly apologized for their wrong doings. I needed time to think about it and promised them I would let them know.

The days turned into weeks. Here I was again.
Alone. It was hopeless. I failed at my relationship with Jacob and now Lucas was lost and broken. It was hard to get out of bed every day and whenever I fell asleep, I saw Jacob’s smile and hearing him tell me he loved me. The emptiness on my bed killed me so I’ve been sleeping on the couch. Lucas and I were going through the motions. He asked when Jacob was going to come back but I never answered. Jacob was my world but I wasn’t sure how to get him back.

School was
starting soon and we all planned to go shopping together. When I looked at the list for Lucas’s supplies, I broke down and cried.

“Damn you Jacob,” I whisper
ed.

Gary came over to give me Jacob’s credit card but I told him to tell Jacob to be a man. Gary laughed and told me that he’s miserable too. If that were true then why was he doing this shit?
Gary brought me in his arms and told me to stay strong but I forgot what being strong felt like because I was breaking down every second of the day. I couldn’t function and even when I tried, something reminded me of Jacob.

I’m lying down on my couch, mindlessly watching TV when the
doorbell rings. I look at the door hoping that it’s Jacob, but I know it’s Hayden and Mila. They come over most nights and spend time with Lucas and it’s nice to be around them but it doesn’t replace my longing for Jacob. I stretch out my body and slowly get up while wrapping the blanket around my body. I take a deep breath and open the door. Hayden looks at me and her eyes soften. She reaches out for me and I fall into her arms. Mila hugs my legs and tells me everything will be okay but at this point, I’m going to need a miracle.

The kids are sleeping while Hayden and I relax on the deck. The view is go
rgeous and the night sky is clear with stars brilliantly filling the skies. I close my eyes and make a wish to have Jacob come back to me and Lucas. I still love him and want him back.

“Hey, you alright?”

I look at Hayden. “Yeah. Just trying to figure all of this out.”

“I know it’s hard to believe but Jacob does love you. He’s just being Jacob.”

I take a sip of my sweet tea. “That’s the thing! I don’t get it. We should be together. This house is huge and it’s so lonely without him.”

“Sweetie I know. Just give him time.” Hayden sm
iles but I know she’s trying to be supportive.

“
Time
! Hayden how can he love me and then leave? I mean this is getting old.”

“Trust me okay?”

I close my eyes and nod my head.

Hayden makes her way to the guest room and asks if I need anything. I let her know I am okay and hea
d back to my room. My body can’t handle all the stress. I take a pain killer with my sweet tea and lie on my bed. Within minutes, I’m asleep.

The park is empty but peaceful. The sun is out. The birds are chirping. I’m walking around and
don’t see anyone nearby. The trees are full of leaves and vibrant with color. As I am walking through the park, the calm waters soothe my soul.

“Where am I?” I whispered.

“Abigail.”

I turn around and see Ryan standing before me wearing white linen pants and a baby blue polo. His hair is nicely done and he’s smiling.

“Ryan?”

He comes to me and gives me a hug. “Hey doll face.”

I smile. “Where am I?”

He takes my hand and leads me to a bench. “Can we talk?”

I nod.

“I want you to be happy Abigail. Fight for what you want. Live your life with Lucas.”

I start to cry, “I’m sorry you never got to know Lucas.”

He rubs my arms, “I know he’
s loved and cared for. That’s all I need to know.” He kisses my forehead. “Be the woman I know you can be. Fight for love doll face.”

Chapter 29
 

Jacob

I visit Katherine’s grave tonight. Her headstone is covered with leaves. I brush it off and place a rose on her grave. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. It’s been a few months since I’ve been here but I still feel her around me. I kneel down and read the words on her headstone.

Katherine Marie Strider

Beloved daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece and friend.

May 16, 1978-April 10, 2004

God gave you to us as a precious gift

But He decided to bring you to Heaven as one of his beautiful Angels

You will always be missed and forever in our hearts.

I start crying as I set the bouquet down on her grave. I look at her tombstone and remember her beautiful, bright smile.
“Hi sweetheart. I miss you every day and wish you were here with me now.” I wipe my tears away and sit in silence. The wind blows slightly as I wrap my arms around my knees. “I think about you all the time you know? You’re probably upset with me right now. Everyone keeps telling me how stupid I am but how can I love her? Katherine you are the only one for me.” I let out a sigh and close my eyes. “Can you please give me a sign that it’s okay for me love again?” The quietness of the night takes over as I sit in front of her grave telling her about Mila and Hayden. I tell her how much I miss her and how sorry I am. “I love you Katherine Marie.”

I’m back in my loft and feel the bareness of the walls and feeling.
There’s no emotions or laughter like it was when Abigail and Lucas were over. I look at the living room and picture Lucas on the floor playing with his toys and Abigail on the couch reading on her Kindle. My family’s gone because I couldn’t live with the guilt that we nearly lost Lucas. I look around the room and see nothing; just me standing in the middle of the room with no one to help me through this. I take one last look and go into his room and look around but feel sadness and my heart breaks. I miss them. I go back to my room and lie down. Exhaustion hits my body and I fall right to sleep.

She’s wearing a beautiful white dress and her hair is curly with a bright shine. We’re sitting on a bench in a garden. I look at her and notice the brilliant smile on her face.

“I miss you sweetheart.” My voice starts to break. “I’m so sorry. For everything.”

Katherine takes my hand and looks into my eyes. “Jacob, be a better man. Be the man I know you can be. Where’s the Jacob Alexander Greene I fell in love with?”

“Everything is dark sweetheart. I don’t know how to move on with my life. How can I love someone else? How do I live without you?” I touch her face. The softness of her cheeks breaks my heart. “I want you back Katherine.”

She smiles at me again and place her hands on my face. “Open your heart Jacob. Abigail makes you happy. She’s the one for you. I was a chapter in your life but now you have to move on and create this love story. I’ll always be in your heart but that chapter of your life is over. I want you to move on. I want you to be happy. I will always love you and I know you’ll always love me. I’ll be here waiting for you when it is your time, but darling you have your whole life ahead of you. Make me proud.”

*****

I sit in my office in front of the computer. I can’t wrap my head around all of this information. I don’t know what else to do. I love her and Lucas but I want them to have a happy and safe life. What can I provide for them? I look away from the computer and stare outside. I see cars driving and people walking. The skies are dreary and it looks like it is going to rain. My hand touches the window and I hang my head low.
I know what I’m going to do-I’m going to win back the woman I love and fight for her. I won’t find anyone else like her and we both deserve to be happy. I go to my desk and open the top drawer. I pull out a small velvet box and open it to see a solitary three karat diamond engagement ring. I carefully look at the shine and picture Abigail’s face when I ask her to marry me. This is how I’ll win her back, to show her that I’m sorry and I want a future with her. I slide the box in my front pocket and am about to leave when my office door suddenly swings open.

Abigail.

I walk around my desk to meet her but she stops just a few feet away from me.
Her hair is tied to the left side. Her side bangs are in front of her eyes. She’s not wearing any makeup but her natural beauty takes over. Her brown eyes have dark circles underneath showing me what she’s feeling; sorrow, sadness and anger. The black wrap dress with her black stilettos shows off her amazing body. God I miss her. I can’t say anything so I sit back down and keep my eyes away from hers.

“Jacob, why?”
Her voice. I can’t stand to hear how sad she is. She slowly walks towards me but stops every few steps. I see her breathing in deeply and slowly letting out her breath. “Jacob what did I do wrong?” Her tone gets soft.

I walk to her and bring her hands to my chest.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. This is my fault,” I start to say. “I’m sorry I left you.” I bring my lips to her forehead and hear a soft gasp. “I’m sorry, please say you’ll be mine again. I just want to be the man you deserve.”

“Jacob how can you say all of this? Lucas and I have never been happier. You make us happy. You make our lives better. I love you Jacob.
Just you.” Tears fall as she is telling me what’s in her heart. I hear what she is saying but why can’t I accept what she is telling me? “Darling, it’s because of you that we’re happy. You taught me how to believe again. You taught me how to love.”

Me? How could I have done that?

“Abigail I just don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“Then stop this please Jacob. Can’t you see how much we need you?” I wipe the tears from her eyes. She’s right. I’m hurting her now just by staying away. Abigail takes a folder from her purse and hands it to me.

Questionably, I take the folder and slowly open it. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Adoption papers for Lucas. “Abigail?”

“He misses you Jacob. I miss you. You’re the only father he knows. I want you to be in his life.”

Without thinking, I take out my pen and sign the papers. I take Abigail hands and tell her to close her eyes. I open my desk drawer and take out the small box I’ve been holding onto. I get down on one knee, “Open your eyes.”

Her hands fly up to cover the shock look on her face. “Jacob?”

“I know this is fast but when you gave me those papers, I knew this is supposed to be my life. I’ve loved you ever since you walked into my office with your witty mouth and confidence.
You
taught me love again Abigail. It’s because of you I can breathe. Your presence brings light to my life. You and Lucas are it for me. I want us to be a family and one day, have a child of our own. Abigail, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? My best friend forever?”

“Oh Jacob.
Yes! Yes I will marry you!”

I take the ring out of the box and slide it on her ring finger of her left hand. I s
tand up and take her in my arms and cradle her head gently between my hands. “You’re my world and I promise to always make you happy, feel wanted and loved.” I graze my lips over hers but her hands pull me down to and draw her mouth over mine. The kiss causes my body to shudder and whimpers leave her precious lips. I pull away and look at her to make sure I’m not dreaming. “I love you Abigail.”

“I love you too Jacob.”

I take Abigail in my arms and bring her over to the couch. I put her down and see her beautiful face. Her smile makes my world better. I can’t recall ever feeling this sensation of peace and love. She’s the one for me and the one I want to grow old with.

I sweep her hair out of her eyes and trail my fingers down her cheek to her lips and down her throat. My other hand strokes her inner thigh as I make my way up to her magnificent sex. I feel her wetness through her panties and instantly get hard. I want her and need her, forever.

“Jacob,” she moans, I know she wants more.

I gently kiss her face down to her throat while my two fingers move aside her panties and play with her wet clit. Abigail closes her eyes and loudly moans, knowing how badly we both want each other; I pull off her skirt and panties then my own clothes. Without thinking, I plunge into her opening and increase my speed. She feels so good around my hard
erection.

“Jacob! Please go faster! I need you so badly.” She grabs my back and digs her nails into me. I pick her up while still inside her and push her up against the wall. I grab her hips and push her up and down my dick.

“Argh, Abigail!”

She brings her head down to my neck and starts biting me. Her hands grab my hair and with just a few more thrusts, I spill my hot semen into her. Abigail’s body shakes in my arms and her breathing is heavy in my ears.

This is my forever.

After we get dressed and clean up my office, I decide to leave early. I take her hand as we walk through the building and down to her car. I grab her keys, open the door for her and go to the driver’s side. When I get in, we both put on our seatbelts and I start up the car.

“Lucas is going to be so happy! I can’t wait to tell him.”

“I
know, me too sweetheart.” I drive towards our house.

We make it to the house and see Lucas playing with Mila in the yard. Lucas and my parents are with them too. Heather and Hayden are on the porch talking when we pull in. She’s visiting for the next few days. I park my car on the side of the road. When we get out, Lucas comes running towards me. His eyes are full of excitement.

“You’re back.” He jumps in my arms and I pick him up. I hold him tight and never want to let go. “Daddy, please don’t leave again.”

“I promise I won’t. Come inside, Mommy and I have news for you.”
Mommy and I.
I give Hayden and Heather a kiss and ask them to come inside as well. Mila is along my side and keeps asking what is going on. When everyone is sitting down, I look over at Abigail and smile. “We’re getting married!”

The room gets loud with congratulations and excitement. Mother and the rest of the women hug Abigail. Father shakes my hand and congratulates me. I take Lucas in my arm and put my free arm around Abigail’s. “Also,” I start to say, “I’m officially Lucas’
s dad!” His eyes go wide and hold on tightly.

“Oh Jacob.
Abigail. This is incredible. Congratulations to you both.” Mother says.

Abigail leans in to kiss me, “Start of forever.”

“Always.” I kiss her back and look at my future. Abigail and Lucas have shown me it’s possible to fall in love again.

Epilogue
 

5 years later
Abigail

“Dad, hurry up! The line’s getting longer!” Lucas runs to the ride and squeezes his way through the crowd.

“Sweetheart you better hurry or else he is going to go on without you.”

“Oh! Lucas wait.” Jacob gives us a kiss and chases our son down the path.

I put our two-year-old daughter, Addison, back in her stroller.
“Ready to go follow Daddy and Lucas?” Addison lets out a small laugh and wiggles her feet in the air. The ninety-degree weather keeps us hot but it feels great to be in Disney World again with my family. I push the stroller over to Space Mountain and think back on our life together. We’ve been married for almost four years now and things are incredible. Jacob’s everything I’ve ever wanted and needed. He treats Lucas wonderfully and when we found out we were pregnant, the light in his eyes grew with love and happiness. I close my eyes and think about to those long months with Addison growing inside of me.

The pregnancy was difficult
and my body wasn’t handling it well. I was losing weight and threw up all the time. My blood pressure was either too low or too high. I was in and out of the hospital but no matter what anyone told me, I was keeping our baby. It broke Jacob apart when he saw me in pain. He didn’t work during my pregnancy and it was hard because we cried nearly every night trying to figure out why my body was reacting the way it was. 

One night after dinner, I felt sick and dizzy. When I stood up, my water broke and Jacob stood there looking at me. We panicked and I refused to move. She was too early. Through the commotion and chaos, I was in my own world and couldn’t hold on to reality. We got to the hospital in record time and I was in labor for six hours. With the final push, we didn’t hear her cry. Jacob looked at me and held my hand. I screamed and demanded to hold her but the doctors and nurses had to rush her to the NICU. Addison was twelve
weeks early and we were scared that she was going to die. We were devastated when she had to be placed in the NICU. Jacob remained calm and helped me through the hard times. Addison was in the hospital for six long weeks and I never left her side. I sang to her and told her over and over again how much I love her. Each day broke me but the strength of Jacob kept me going. Lucas was sad for us but never left our side. The day we brought her home was one of the happiest of our lives. My family was whole.

“Mama
push!” Addison’s excitement makes me laugh. I push a little faster and hear her laughing and telling me to go faster. I will never grow tired of hearing her laugh. We watch Jacob and Lucas get on the ride. I take Addison out of her stroller so she can get a better look. “Dada! Lulu!” Jacob hears his daughters squeal and looks over. Both of my boy’s wave and Addison starts jumping up and down in my arms. Her eyes remind me of Jacob-big and full of love. She adores her father and always wants to be near him. Daddy’s little girl.