Taking Chances (26 page)

When we were in
her car, Bree grabbed my hand and looked at me, “I've never once in my life
seen Chase cry. There is no doubt in my mind he is completely in love with you
Harper, you have to tell him you're pregnant and he's the dad.”

Never seen him
cry? That made me feel even worse since I’d made him cry three times in the
last month and a half. “I will, just not today. First, I need to tell your mom
that he is.”

She bit her lip
and looked at me, unsure. She didn't think I ever would. I'd told her mom, Sir
and Brandon all in the first day of finding out, but it had been over a week
and I still hadn't talked to Chase.

“Let's go, we
need to get to lunch so I can tell Mom.”

She smiled,
cranked her car and drove us to the restaurant. I thought about that night with
Brandon on the way over. Besides Bree, he was the only one who knew about
Chase, and I was still surprised he hadn't said anything.

~~~

“Sweetheart,
what's wrong?” Brandon grabbed my hands and led me to his room.

Looking at the
worry in his eyes just made this harder. I hated myself for doing this to him,
and I hated what I was about to do.

“Come here,” he
wrapped me in his arms, “tell me what happened.”

I placed my
hands on his chest and pushed until he let me go. “Maybe you should sit down.”

“I'll stand.”
He said warily.

“Brandon, I –”
Just do it Harper. Just like with Mom and Sir, don't skip around it. I stopped
and took a deep breath, “I ch–…I'm pregnant.”

He bent
slightly at the waist, looking like I'd literally just punched him in the gut.
“That's not possible.” His said confused as he sagged onto the bed, “We haven't
even –” His face fell and his breath came out in a huff, “Oh my God. Did you
cheat on me?”

It was
pointless to keep trying to wipe my tears away, they were coming too fast.
“Brandon, I'm so so–”

“You cheated on
me?!”

I bit my lip
and nodded my head.

“And you're
pregnant?” He sounded completely defeated. I would have rather he been mad, it
would make this so much easier.

“Yes.”

He ran his hand
over his buzzed hair and down his face, “Who? Never mind. I already know.”

“How? Did he
tell you?”

“I'm not stupid
Harper. I see the way you look at him when you think I'm not watching, and you
bite your lip and space out whenever you look at that damn ring.”

He did know.
“Brandon, I'm sorry! It was just one weekend, and I hate myself for it!”

“Does he
already know?” He glanced up to meet my eyes.

“No.” It barely
came out above a whisper.

We stared at
each other for an undetermined amount of time, both silently crying, before he
asked me one last question, “Why Harper?”

I wanted to
make up an excuse, say we were wasted and I regretted it, but he needed to know
the truth. “I love him too Brandon.”

He flinched and
shut his eyes.

“I know I don't
deserve this, but would you please not tell him? And if you're going to be angry
at someone, please be angry at me. I did this to you.”

“You did this
to
us
Harper.” Slowly standing, he made his way towards the door and
opened it, “I won't say anything. I've always known how he felt about you, and
if you chose him, then there's nothing for me to be mad at him for. But I need
you to leave. Now, please.”

He wouldn't
look at me as I left, just held the door with a tight, shaking grip and tried
to calm his breathing.

“I'm so sorry.”
I whispered before leaving.

~~~

I glanced up,
surprised to see we were already at the restaurant. “Well...here goes nothing.”

“How do you
think she's going to take it?” Bree ran a hand through her short blonde hair.

“Ha. I was
hoping you'd tell me.”

“Uh, no. This
is the one situation I haven't known what to expect.”

I looked at her
in horror, “What if she hates me? What if they kick me out Bree?”

“They wouldn't
do that to you, and my parents could never hate you. I just don't know how
she's going to take it.”

We stopped
talking when we walked in and were greeted by the hostess and hugs from Mom.

“Oh, I'm just
so excited for the appointment! We'll be able to get a due date, and if you're
far enough we can hear the heartbeat!” She was clapping and bouncing.

Aw hell, this
was about to all be real. “Is it okay if I'm not exactly thrilled right now?”

“Sure it is
honey, but you've already gotten over the hard parts. This is when it gets
exciting.”

The waitress
took our drink orders and we ordered our food without even looking at the menu.
This is where we always came on our girl’s day. We chatted about school, Konrad
and Bree, if I planned to go back to school after this year ended, which I
didn't, and started to talk about if I wanted a boy or a girl.

“Uh, Mom? I saw
the baby's dad today.”

Her mouth
formed an O, “Did you tell him?”

“No not yet, I
thought I should probably tell you who he is first.”

“Well I don't
see why you had to tell me first unless…do I know him?” Her eyes were large and
she looked like she was holding her breath.

“Yeah. You
could say that.”

Bree tried to
cover her laugh with a cough and grabbed her iced tea to take a sip.

Like a band
aid Harper, just rip it off.
I took a deep breath and blurted out, “It's
Chase.”

“Oh thank God!”
Claire exclaimed and put a hand over her chest.

Bree spewed out
her tea and my jaw dropped, as well as my spoon. “What?!” We screeched in
unison.

She shushed us
and looked around for a second before leaning over the table, “You have no idea
how much of a relief this is.” She held up a hand to stop my question, “My son
is in love with you Harper, he has been for a while now. That's why he doesn't
come to the house on Sundays anymore. He came to us a month or so ago and said
as long as you were with Brandon, he couldn't handle being around you anymore,
said it was too hard.”

I swear my jaw
dropped even more.

“When you said
you were pregnant, I knew he was going to be devastated, but when you told me
Brandon wasn't the daddy, I hoped it was Chase's. Don't get me wrong, I wish
this wasn't happening to you two while you're so young and not married, but
what's done is done. He'd even talked about maybe moving away after graduation.
I knew he would do it if he found out you were having a baby, especially with
some random guy.”

“Mom! Why
didn't you tell me? I didn't know I was the reason he wasn't coming around, you
must have hated me! Why did you let me move in?”

“Because we
love you Harper. Just because he wasn't dealing with it well, doesn't mean
Robert and I were going to stop loving you. Even if he did move away, that wouldn't
have been your fault. Just his choice.”

“Holy crap.” I
huffed and sunk into my seat.

“Ditto.” Bree
chimed in.

“Harper
sweetie,” Mom began, “You have got to tell him. If he finds out your pregnant
from someone and doesn't know it's his. He'll be gone.”

I love him, I
don't want him to leave. But his possible leaving has been stopping me all
along. Claire was wrong, Chase would know it was his, but he'd still be gone.
“He isn't going to want a baby, I can't take him walking away from me. I love
him, this baby just proves that, but I'm terrified he will leave me one day.
He's always doing that Mom, one day he's in love with me, the next few weeks he
refuses to speak to me.”

“He stays away
because it kills him to watch you with Brandon. When you would go to his house,
he always came to ours so he wouldn't have to see you guys together. I never
knew you two had even spoken to each other about this. All he does is talk
about you in a way that suggested you didn't know he loved you. He won't leave
you, I don't think you realize he's never even spoken about a girl with us,
until you showed up last fall.” My face must have shown I didn't believe that,
“Regardless if he's ready for a child or not, he's the father, he has to help
you.”

“No!” I said a
little too loudly and quieted my voice, “No. I want him to want to be with me,
I will not force him to endure this with me. My entire life Sir has resented
me, I'm not going to go through the rest of it with Chase doing the same.”

“He wouldn't.”
Bree cut in.

“He might.” I
looked at each of them and said sternly, “I'll tell him soon, but you have to
let him make this choice.”

They both
agreed and had huge smiles on their faces. I wish I could feel the same. We
finished lunch, paid the bill and headed to my first appointment. The first
part we sat in the office and spoke with the Doctor, an extremely nice younger
lady named Dr. Lowdry.

“When was the
first day of your last menstrual period Harper?”

“December
twenty ninth.” I said confidently.

“And do you
have an idea of when the baby may have been conceived.”

“I do, it was
either January twelfth or thirteenth.”

The Doctor
grabbed a plastic wheel and moved it around for a minute, “Okay well then your
due date should be October fourth, so what do you say we have your first ultrasound?
You're practically eight weeks, we'll be able to hear the heartbeat.”

Mom smiled and
clapped her hands and Bree looked like she was doing math in her head. We
followed her to another room and after changing and positioning myself on the
table, the lights were turned off and the ultrasound started. At first all I
saw was a gray screen with a dark circle in the middle, then she zoomed in and
I saw what looked like a gummy bear on the screen. Mom's breath caught and my
eyes widened.

“That's your baby!”
Dr. Lowdry said smiling and pressing different buttons. “Let's get some
measurements here...yep! I'd say you are seven weeks and six days.”

Oh my word this
is real. It's real isn't it? Yep it's real. There's a freaking gummy bear
growing in me! I think the Doctor was pointing out the head and arms, but I
couldn't listen too much, I was beyond mesmerized by the screen.

“Harper!”

“Huh?”

The three of
them laughed, I wonder how long they'd been trying to get my attention.

“Are you ready
to hear the heartbeat?”

I looked over
at Dr. Lowdry's warm smile and nodded my head. She clicked a button and my
entire world changed. We all held our breath as a whooshing noise filled the
room. It wasn't what I was expecting, it was really fast and didn't sound like
what I thought a heartbeat should sound like, but there was no mistaking that's
what it was. Bree grabbed my hand and Claire reached for some tissue to wipe
her eyes. I couldn't see the screen anymore and I realized I was crying, so I
closed my eyes and listened to the most amazing sound in the world.

“I'm going to
be a grandma!” Mom cried happily.

“Oh my God, I'm
going to be a mom.”

Dr. Lowdry
flipped on the lights and handed me the pictures of the ultrasound, “Now will
dad be joining us for these? It's usually best if the fathers are here for
everything.”

I didn't know
what to say without sounding awkward, thankfully Claire spoke up, “Oh, my son
will definitely be here next time.”

Man I hope
she's right.

Once the rest
of the appointment was done and we picked up my prenatal vitamins, the three of
us headed for a pedicure before going home and waiting for Robert to come back
from work. Mom couldn't wait until tonight, she had called him on the way to
the appointment to let him know Chase was the dad, and apparently he was just
as relieved. Crazy. When we sat down for dinner that night, he got misty eyed
when we showed him the photos and joked with me about making him a grandpa so
young. Everyone was smiling, including me, I just wish Chase could have been
there too.

***

Don't ask how I
did it, but I managed to only see Chase six times over the next four weeks, and
I still had avoided having the talk with him. Mom and Dad were worried that he
was going to find out and bolt since my clothes were getting tighter now and
Bree was just flat out pissed.

“Harper, he
hasn't been with another girl since August, and you're still worried he's going
to leave you? You guys aren't even dating and he's committed to you!”

“I know, I
know. But it's not so easy to just be with him Bree. I can't do that to Brandon
yet.”

“Brandon
already knows!” She reasoned.

“Yeah, but
think of it this way. What if you got pregnant with someone other than Konrad.
Even if you told him, would you be able to just start dating the other guy?
Walking around the school on his arm, in front of Konrad?”

She didn't
answer.

“No, you
wouldn't. Because it would be cruel to Konrad and though you broke his heart
you would still love him too.”

“You're still
in love with Brandon? Well then tell Chase it's Brandon's baby and get back
with Brandon.”

“What? No!
That's sick. I could never do something like that to Brandon. That would be
even worse than the conversation where I told him I was pregnant! It's like
HEY! Let me twist the knife I stabbed in your heart.”

“Okay true. But
you have to give Chase a chance here, just tell him, but say you guys need to
lie low in public.”

“I know I'm
already hurting Chase by blowing him off, but are you hearing yourself? That's
bad too Bree. It would be like he was my dirty secret and I didn't want anyone
else to know. It already takes everything in me not to run into his arms when I
see him to tell him everything, and you expect me to tell him I'm pregnant with
his baby and that we need to still stay away from each other? It's fine if I'm
miserable, but I can't do that to him too.”