Authors: Molly McAdams
“Harper, can
you tell me one thing?”
“I'll tell you
anything Chase.” Except for the fact that I'm carrying your baby.
“Have I – have
I missed my chance?”
“What do you
mean?”
“I mean with
you,
us.
Did I miss my chance?” His face was scrunched together, he
looked terrified that I would say yes.
I stepped up
and wrapped my arms around his waist, “I'm sorry that you would even have to
ask that. I wish you knew how much I love you Chase, it's just been a hard time
for me.” He pulled me closer to him and I tried to push my hips back without
him noticing. “I didn't know you were still giving me time, I figured I'd
already lost you.” My voice caught at the end. Oh my word, I hadn't realized
until those words came out that I actually thought that. Was that the real
reason why I hadn't been able to tell him yet?
“Aw hell baby.
That's not possible.” He kissed the top of my head and squeezed me tight.
“What's been going on? Is it still because of Brandon? Or did something else
happen?”
Just then Bree
walked up, “We need to go Harper.” She said softly.
I looked at
her, hoping she understood that she couldn't have had better timing. There's no
way I would tell Chase here, but I couldn't stand to keep talking to him
without saying something about the pregnancy. Once again, Chase quickly dropped
his arms and stepped back when he saw her. I wanted to roll my eyes but
resisted. She heard him say “I love you” last time, and he still thought he had
to hide it from her?
One more day. One. More. Day.
“See you.” I
touched Chase's arm before turning to Bree.
“Bye Princess.”
“
W
ake up, wake
up, wake up!” Bree shouted the next morning.
“Ugh! Bree, we
don't have class for four hours. Go away!”
“No way! It's
your birthday you have to get out of bed!”
Oh right. Birthday.
“No one cares, go back to sleep.” I grumbled and pulled the comforter over my
head.
“We do, now get
your ass up!” She ripped the comforter off the bed completely and threw it to
the floor.
“Sometimes, I
just want to punch you.”
She beamed a
smile at me, “I know. You love me!”
“That too.”
I followed her
down the stairs and almost peed myself when Mom and Dad yelled, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HARPER!” They were putting pancakes, eggs, bacon and presents on the kitchen
table when we walked in.
Jeez, could
these people be any more wonderful? First Christmas, now this? We ate together
and when the dishes were done I opened my presents. Bree got me three shirts
that I could wear now, and when I was “ginormously huge”, Mom and Dad got me
another pregnancy book as well as a baby names book, a Juicy bracelet and a
green Coach baby bag from all three of them.
How would I
ever thank them for so much more than just the presents? “Thank you. You guys
are so amazing, I love you all.”
I was bombarded
by hugs and I couldn't help but wish for Chase's arms too. I smiled when I
remembered today was the day. Since Bree and I didn't have school tomorrow, we
were all going out to dinner tonight, then coming back to watch movies. I read
through the fourteenth week of
What To Expect When You're Expecting
,
bookmarked my spot with the most recent ultrasound picture, thumbed through the
baby name book then hopped in the shower to get ready for my day. This was the
first time I'd been excited about having a birthday, and I wanted to look cute
for it. So I took my time with my hair and make-up, making sure I looked
perfect for my day, and for when I told Chase. I dressed in my favorite pair of
dark Lucky jeans, flip flops and one of the new shirts Bree got me. It was dark
gray v-neck, long and form fitting, but seriously stretchy. Yep, I'd for sure
be able to wear this throughout the whole pregnancy. I almost took it back off
when I saw my defined bump showing through the stretchy material, but figured
it was time to stop hiding it. People may not notice that my boobs were getting
even bigger, but if anyone looked down, they'd definitely know what was going
on. When I walked into the kitchen Mom and Bree were thrilled at my outfit
because they knew this could only mean one thing and Mom came up to pat my baby
bump.
“See you
tonight girls! Love you!” She had the widest smile I'd seen since we told her
Chase was the father, and it was undeniably contagious.
We were almost
to our first class and I did a double take to a chair sitting outside the door.
I slowly walked up and grabbed the bouquet of orange lilies, tucked into the
side was a note with my name on the envelope. I looked at Bree who was looking
around confused, and I joined in with her. There were people I vaguely knew all
over, but other than Bree and Mom, only two guys knew about these. And neither
of them were around. I opened the note and a huge smile spread across my face
when I read the masculine handwriting.
'Happy Birthday Princess'
I bit my lip
and looked harder for a tall, tan, built, tatted up guy with shaggy blonde
hair, bright blue eyes and a killer smile.
“Who are they
from?” Bree grabbed the note out of my hands.
“Chase, do you
see him?”
“No. That boy I
swear, who knew he could be sweet?”
After another
quick look, I reluctantly followed her into the classroom. No sooner had we sat
down, than my phone chimed.
Chase - 'You look beautiful today.'
Me - 'Were you watching me?'
Chase - 'Maybe. I finally got to give you your
lilies.'
Me - 'You already gave me my lilies a few months ago,
remember?'
Chase - 'I couldn't forget that day even if I tried.'
Me - 'Well you could have given these to me yourself
you know. I would have liked to see you.'
Chase - 'It was worth it to see that smile on your
face'
Me - ':) Thank you for my flowers. I love them'
Chase - 'What are you doing for your Birthday?'
Me - 'Dinner with your fam tonight, movies at the
house after. You're invited.'
Chase - 'I'll see what I can do.'
Once again, it
wasn't exactly a no, but it wasn't a yes either and I tried to not let that
disappoint me. Cryptic words were kind of his specialty.
“Gah, look at
you Harper.” Bree whispered.
“What?”
“You already
totally have that preggo glow, and now your face is lit up like the freaking
sun after texting my brother.”
I looked at her
confused, “How did you know I was talking to him?”
She narrowed
her eyes at me, then raised her eyebrows. “Like I said, your face is lit up
like the sun.” Nudging my knee, she turned to listen to the Professor.
I smiled at my
flowers one more time, and tried to follow her lead. Class flew by and we went
to lunch to meet up with everyone, Chase wasn't there, but a very shocked
looking Brandon was. All the guys had given me big bear hugs, and after an uneasy
hug from Brandon he froze and backed up slowly, his eyes trained to my stomach.
It had finally been real for me at the first ultrasound, but I don't think it'd
been real for Brandon until he saw the bump pushing out from my hips. My
stomach churned and my heart ached thinking of the love I'd lost, but I knew I
had to get over it. I was the one who had messed up, I needed to get over it so
I could get on with my life too. None of the girls got to the table until we
were already seated, and even with Brandon's wide eyes staring at where my
stomach was hidden from the table, no one else saw the evidence. Since the
restaurant was just down the street from campus, after lunch Bree and I went to
a boba shop close to the school and did most of our homework before we had to
leave for dinner.
We met Claire
and Robert at the restaurant at six, and tried to have a great time sans Chase.
Claire shared funny stories about her two pregnancies and hilarious things
Breanna and Chase had done when they were little. We were all cracking up and
wiping tears from our eyes by the time the waiter came with the bill. I checked
my phone again and my shoulders dropped when there still wasn't anything from
Chase. Claire talked to him today to invite him to dinner, and he'd flat out
refused to come. I didn't understand. I thought after our few words yesterday
that things were going to turn around, and then after the flowers today, I'd
been positive they were. My heart sunk but I tried to keep a happy face for the
people that loved me. Apparently I wasn't doing a good job, Claire reached over
the table and grabbed my hand, her face sad.
“Sweetie don't
worry about it, please. This will all work out, I'm sure of it.” But for once,
no one looked like they believed it.
I nodded and
flashed a smile, “Movie time?”
We looked at
each other awkwardly, but left and headed for home. Bree had an arm slung over
my shoulders talking about how much of an ass Chase is when we opened the front
doors and all sucked in gasps. There were orange and white lilies covering
every table and counter. Chase. A smile broke across my face as I looked around
the entryway, dining room and living room for him, Robert let out a low whistle
of appreciation and shut the door. My smile died as soon as I heard him in the
other room.
“Are you fucking
kidding me?! How could you guys keep this from me?” Chase's voice boomed from
the kitchen as he rounded the bar and stalked towards us through the living
room. “Where the hell is he? I swear to God I'm going to kill him!” With his
tall muscular build, tattooed arms and outraged face, he definitely looked like
he could kill someone. I grabbed Bree's arm and shrank back into Mom, pulling
her with me. Until now, I'd never been scared of Chase, even that night he'd
given me bruises.
“Chase!” Robert
barked and stepped in front of us, “Calm down, what is going on?”
“I saw the
books, I saw the effing ultrasound pictures!”
I flinched. Aw
hell, it wasn't supposed to happen this way. Since he hadn't come back to the
house in months, we'd left everything on the kitchen table ever since that
first appointment.
Robert crossed
his arms over his chest, “And?”
“And!? DAD!
Bree's knocked up and all you can say is 'and'?!”
Bree snorted
and took a step away from me, crossing her arms over her chest, “Please. I'm
not as stupid as you, I'm not pregnant.”
“Breanna!”
Claire hissed through her teeth. She gave me an apologetic look for her
daughter but it was true and I know Bree hadn’t meant it as an insult toward
me.
Chase shoved
one of the ultrasound pictures in Bree's face, “Then what the hell is this?”
I stepped up
next to her, took the photo out of his hand and spoke softly, trying to hide my
shaking. “It's mine Chase.”
You could have
heard a pin drop. Chase's face had softened as soon as he'd seen me, but turned
into one of shock when he registered what I'd said. After a few minutes, a grin
that reached his eyes spread across his face as he searched mine.
His eyes slowly
trailed down to my stomach and grew wide, “You're pregnant Princess?”
“Yes.” I
whispered.
He lifted his
head to smile at me and dropped it again, gaze fixed on my bump. This time no
one stopped me when I let my hand fall to cover it lovingly. “Is it – is it
mine?”
“Of course it
is.”
“We're going to
have a baby?”
“Yes.”
“This is our
baby?” He reached for the photo in my hand.
I smiled,
“Yes.”
His expression
was so beautiful, tears instantly poured down my cheeks. “We're having a baby.”
I laughed
through my tears and nodded my head.
Chase ran a
hand through his hair and huffed out a laugh. He looked from the picture to my
stomach once more, “I love you so much.” he breathed and closed the distance
between us, crushing his lips to mine.
I didn't care
that his family was watching, I threw my arms around his neck and let him lift
me off the ground. After I was good and kissed, he set me back down and dropped
to his knees. Running his hand over my gummy bear bump, he lifted my shirt and
kissed my bare stomach twice. A sob broke out of my chest and I looked at
Claire who was freely crying and leaning into Robert. Even Bree was wiping a
few tears away.
Chase stood
back up and cupped my face in his hands, “Why didn't you tell me?”
“I was scared,”
I shrugged, “I still am.”
“You don't have
to be scared,” he whispered and kissed my nose, “I'll take care of us.”
I looked up at
the family, “Can you guys excuse us for a minute?”
Grabbing
Chase's hand, I led him up the stairs and to his room. I hadn't been in here
since that heated night and I was hit with flashes of it when we stepped in. I
sat on the edge of the bed, but he pulled me down so I was curled up into his
side. He brought my hand up and played with it over his chest, alternating
between intertwining our fingers and bringing them down so he could kiss my
palm.
“I can't
believe we're going to have a baby.”
I blew out a
hard breath, this is what I'd been waiting for and secretly hoped I could have
skipped altogether. “About that…Chase –”
He groaned,
“No, don't do this again, please.”
“Just hear me
out, okay? You're twenty two, you're about to graduate college, I don't want to
take your life from you. If you want to live your life, I won't stop you. Just
because this baby is yours, don't think that means you're forced to be with
me...with us.” I pulled myself up so I could look at him, “I want you to be
with us, don't get me wrong. But I will let you go if that's what you need.”