Taking Chances (21 page)

“Feels good.”
His voice was still thick with sleep.

I grinned at
him and resumed my tracing, “I've wanted to do this since that first night in
your bed.”

“Why didn't
you?”

“Well you were
a little intimidating, and plus you not so subtly let me know I wasn't the kind
of girl you would ever be with.”

He jerked back
to look at my face, “What did I say?”

“I don't
remember exactly, you were just freaking out because you thought you'd let a
girl stay over, and proceeded to tell me you didn't let girls you would screw
stay with you.” I bit my lip and met his stare, “Speaking of...is it okay that
I'm here?”

His face melted
into a warm smile and those ocean blue eyes sparkled, “I've never been happier
than when I just woke up with you in my arms.” He slowly kissed my forehead,
nose, both cheeks and finally my lips. “You’re the only girl I’ve ever fallen
asleep with, and I want to keep it that way. You're not just some girl. I'm in
love with you Harper, I wouldn't want you anywhere else.”

I reached up to
kiss him back, and tried to show him just how much I loved him too. I moved my
mouth against his aggressively and pushed his shoulder back to the bed so I
could climb on top of him, the delicious achiness in my body was fueling my
desire to have him again. He gripped my hips and pressed his naked body against
mine while alternating between bites and kisses down my neck. I arched my body
into him and the mother of all stomach growls ripped through the quiet bedroom,
I burst into laughter and sagged onto his chest.

“Is there any way
you didn't hear that?”

His body was
still shaking from laughter, “Not a chance.” He kissed me soundly once and
moved me off him. “I'll go make breakfast, I'll be right back.”

“Okay, I'll
come help.” I started to sit up but he pushed me back into the pillows.

“Let me do this
for you Princess.” He rained light kisses on my jaw and sat back. “Stay here,”
He added severely, “I want to see you just like this when I get back.”

I mock saluted
him and curled into the comforter, my breath caught when he climbed out of bed.

“What's wrong?”

“Chase...you're
beautiful.”

His smile was
breathtaking as he climbed back over me, “Beautiful, huh? Trying to take away
my masculinity baby?” I knew he was teasing, but I played along trying to get a
couple of words in between kisses.

“So sorry. I
meant. Rugged. And handsome. And so. So sexy.”

He laughed into
my cheek and left the bed to throw on nothing but his jeans. God that didn't
help much either, they rode low on his hips accentuating his muscled V and that
ridiculous Anchorman quote. I took a mental picture of him and knew I would
never forget Chase as he looked right now. A few minutes later, Chase walked in
and I caught a whiff of bacon causing my stomach to grumble some more.

“You might want
to answer that when he calls again.” He dropped my phone next to me and with a
sad smile walked back out the door.

I looked down
to my phone and saw the twelve missed calls from this morning alone, six from
last night and eighteen texts from Brandon and Bree. After reading through them
and listening to the voicemails, I took a deep breath and collapsed into the
pillows. I hadn't told Brandon I wasn't going to LA, and after Bree dramatized
my being sick and alone, and not answering the phone all night or morning, they
had really started to freak out. I sent the same text to both of them letting
them know I was fine, I'd fallen asleep early last night and left my phone in
the other room. I loved them and would talk to them later after a shower and
another nap. I know I was being a coward, but I didn't know what I would say to
Brandon yet. My stomach fell when I got a response.

Brandon - 'You scared me Harper, Bree thought
something bad had happened. I caught an earlier flight, I just boarded. I love
you so much, I'll be back to take care of you soon.'

I wasn't ready
for my time with Chase to be over and I had no idea what I was going to do
about the two men that had my heart. Pulling the covers over my head, I
resisted the urge to cry. There was no right way to go about this, and no
matter what I did, I would hurt someone and lose a part of myself. Chase didn't
say anything for a while after he came back with an omelet and bacon, we just
sat there eating. Well, he ate. I'd had the same piece of bacon in my hand
since he got back in bed.

“Baby, please
say something.” He pleaded as he rubbed soothing circles into my back.

“Brandon will
be back in a couple hours.” I finally spoke.

He hissed a
curse through his teeth and sagged into the headboard with a thud. “I thought
he wouldn't be back ‘til tomorrow night.”

“He got scared
when I didn't answer the phone. Bree told him I was sick and alone, and since no
one could get a hold of me…”

“Bree called me
a few times, begging me to come check on you. Looks like they're all heading
home today too.”

“Chase, what
should I do?” I began to search his face for answers, but he looked so pained I
had to stare at my hands instead.

“I can't answer
that for you Princess. No one can.” After a few minutes of intense silence he
continued hesitantly, “Who do you want?”

“I don't know!”
I blurted out quickly, “I want you Chase, but I can't hurt him. I won’t hurt
him anymore than I have. I love him too much.”

He flinched
away like I'd slapped him.

“No matter who
I choose, people will get hurt. And then what happens if I leave him? He lives
in your house Chase. He'll have to see us together, it will kill him, I can't
do that to him! He loves me, he hopped the first flight he could because he was
scared for me and wants to come back to take care of me. How am I supposed to tell
him I'm in love with someone else after that?” I took three deep breaths in and
out in an attempt to calm my shaking, “If I left him for you, it would be bad
for us. He'd come after you, the guys in the house would take sides. We would
be miserable. My body craves you Chase, but I feel like I'm being torn in two.
I just – I need a few weeks to think about this. Can you please give me that?”

His jaw was
clenched so tightly I thought it might break, “Are you going to ask him to give
you time too?”

“No, I can't.”

Chase's eyes
turned to ice and his mouth popped open, “So you're just going to go back to
him? Pretend like last night never happened? You're so worried about hurting
everyone else, do you even realize you'll be hurting me?” He shot up off the
bed and started pacing back and forth, “Damn it Harper, don't you see that? I'm
the one that will have to watch you with your boyfriend while waiting for you
to figure out what you want!”

I flinched when
the bedroom door slammed shut behind him. He was right, and I didn't want to
hurt him either, but I didn't know what else to do at the moment. I was more in
love with Chase than I'd realized, but I couldn't live without Brandon. If I
thought I'd hated myself for kissing Chase, I now felt like I was dying thinking
about how I'd just betrayed the man I love more than my own life. Even if I
thought it was too soon, I'd overheard him talking to his mom telling her he
thought I was “the one”, and I couldn't help but smile at thoughts of our
future together. I briefly considered a future with Chase, it didn't go far.
There's no way Chase felt the same way I did for him. I'm not saying he doesn't
love me, but it can't mean the same as it does for me. If I were to choose him,
would he go back to being hot and cold once I did, and would he want to be with
me for any length of time? As much as I wanted to believe everything he said to
me last night, deep down I was terrified he'd up and leave me like he has every
other girl. Brandon wouldn't do that, and he's never once treated me badly. His
nearly shaved head, chiseled face and tall beefy body may make him appear
dangerous, but that boy adored me and would do anything for me. My mind was
made up, Brandon is who I would choose when this day ended, in my heart I knew
he was who I couldn't live without. But after what happened last night, I'm
afraid I'll never be able to give him my entire heart like he deserves.

The hot steam
of the shower couldn't even soothe me. I knew I could live without him, but my
heart was still breaking just thinking about a life without Chase. I choked on
a sob and soon my tears blended in with the water pouring on me. I pressed my
hands to the wall of the shower to keep myself standing and cried harder than I
ever have. Chase's hands turned me around and clutched me to him as my body shook
with sobs. When I opened my eyes I realized he still had his jeans on and was
completely soaked. I looked up to his face and memorized his hard jaw, full
lips, perfect nose, bright blue eyes and shaggy wet hair. Even in pain, he was
incredibly handsome.

“Why are you in
here?”

“Because you
need me,” His voice was hoarse, “and if this is my last hour with you, I'm not
going to waste another second of it.”

He touched his
lips to mine, and I met his kiss greedily. It was difficult, but we somehow
managed to get his jeans off before he pressed me into the wall and positioned
himself with my legs wrapped around him. I knew I was breaking my heart more,
and adding more hurt to my relationship with Brandon, but I needed this last
time with Chase. He slowly made love to me as the hot water continued to pour
over us, and though I was no longer sobbing, a steady stream of tears ran down
my face the entire time. He knew this was our last time to be together too, and
the mixture of love, passion, pain and sadness made for the most beautiful
experience of my life. Neither of us spoke after as we helped each other wash
our hair and bodies, or when we dried off and dressed, but our eyes never once
left each other’s. They said everything for us in that last hour. He drove me to
his house so I could pick up Brandon's Jeep, and we sat there for another
twenty minutes just holding hands, his thumb making circles against my palm. I
glanced down at the clock and pulled the keys out my purse with a sigh. I
grabbed the door handle but his voice stopped me.

“Harper,” he
spoke around the lump in his throat, “I will love you for the rest of my life.”

I couldn't turn
to look at him, I just kept my eyes on the handle, “You will always be in my
heart Chase Grayson.” I walked away then, and didn't look back.

I
glanced in the
rear view mirror and groaned when I saw my reflection. I looked terrible, but
at least I actually looked like I had been sick. After a few breaths in and
out, I put the ache to the back of my mind and focused on Brandon. He is who I
want and who I need. I don't deserve him, but as long as he wants me, I'll be
his. I walked to the baggage claim area and after a few minutes of waiting, saw
him walking in a crowd of people. My heart tightened and I took off running towards
him. I'd been unfaithful, and I was a horrible person, but I was madly in love
with this man.

“Babe, I missed
you!” I giggled when he immediately swept me up into his arms.

He smiled down
at me and kissed my forehead, “God, I missed you too.”

“I'm so glad
you're back.”

“How are you
feeling sweetheart?”

“Better now
that you're here.” I wrapped one hand around his neck and trailed my other
fingers across his cheekbone, jaw and lips.

“I'm sorry I
wasn't last night.”

“Don't be, it
wouldn't have been a fun night for you.” Really. It wouldn't have been.

“Is there
anything we need to get you on the way back?”

A time machine
so I can go back two weeks. “No, honestly I feel so much better. Must have been
one of those twenty four hour things, just take me home.”

I almost sighed
in relief when I saw the driveway empty of Chase's truck, I couldn't face him
when I walked into Brandon's room. While Brandon took a shower, I dressed in
one of his button-up shirts and a pair of boy-cut underwear and climbed onto
his bed. I knew it would drive him crazy, and as horrible as I will be for it,
I needed to have a steamy session with him to push Chase even farther from my
thoughts. Bree was right, this poor guy was going to explode if I didn't take
it to the next level soon. But I hadn't been ready before, and damn if I
thought I could be ready now. How was I supposed to let him love me and love
him back in that way when he thought he was the first person I'd ever been
with?

“Aw hell baby.”
He groaned as his eyes raked over me.

I faked
confusion and hurt as I got off the bed, “Oh, well if you want me to change, I
will.”

He picked me up
and slammed us onto the bed, pinning my body under his. He kissed me thoroughly
and I forced myself not to compare his kisses to Chase's. I emptied my mind and
focused on nothing but his lips covering mine, and his hand under the shirt on
my waist. His other hand cupped under my left knee and hitched it up around his
hip, when his fingers moved back to my borrowed shirt, he stopped and pushed off
me. Lifting the shirt up to my waist he ran a hand over my tattoo and smiled as
he brought his lips back to mine.

“You like?”

“You have no
idea how sexy you are.” He growled against my mouth.

I ran my hands
over his head and pressed my chest to his. Bringing my other leg up to his hip
as well, he pressed me deeper into the mattress when Bree came into the house
shouting my name.

“You have got
to be kidding me.” I groaned and slapped a hand over my face.

Brandon
chuckled in frustration and jumped off me to cover me with the comforter then
went to find a shirt. “I needed to stop anyway.” He smiled and bent down to
kiss me, his now gray eyes were still burning.