Taking Chances (43 page)

The nurse took
him out of my arms and placed him in Brandon’s while the Doctor did some last
minute things with me. I understood immediately why Brandon wanted to see me
hold him. Looking at Brandon, all six feet four inches, two hundred and forty pounds
of pure muscle holding our six pound son was what finally had the tears rolling
down my cheeks.

“Hey little
man.” He whispered as he stood a couple feet from the bed.

“Babe,” his
head snapped up to look at me, his smile the only thing I could focus on, “did
you hear the nurse? About when he was born?”

Brandon nodded
and looked back down to Liam, “You have pretty good timing son. You couldn’t
have come on a more perfect day.”

I smiled at
them and the nurse piped up, “Did you want him to be born on September
eleventh?” She asked, her face gentle and sweet.

Looking over at
Brandon, I saw the tears falling down his face and knew he wouldn’t be able to
respond, “It’s not that we wanted it, we really weren’t expecting him yet. But
it’s fitting for us and our family. He’s named after Brandon’s dad, Liam. He
was on one of the planes that crashed into the twin towers.” I said softly.  

Dr. Lowdry and
both of the nurses gasped and fell silent. After Dr. Lowdry was done fixing me
up, she looked at the baby, still in Brandon’s arms, and said, “This day will
always be significant for you three. Loss and a gain, it’s bittersweet, but I
agree, it is perfect.”

Brandon walked
back over to me and gently placed Liam back in my arms. He kept one hand on
him, the other on me. “You were amazing. I love you so much Harper.”

“I love you
too. So much.” Liam let out a soft cry, and we both looked quickly back to him.
“Look at him Brandon. He’s perfect.”

“He is.”
Brandon agreed, “He’s finally here.”

“I know, this
is so surreal.”

Liam started
crying harder, sounding so precious, and so sad. But with his little arms
waving and finally hearing him, I still couldn’t stop smiling. Brandon put one
of his fingers near his shaking hand, and as soon as Liam touched it, he grasped
it again and fell silent.

“Daddy make
everything better little Liam?”

Brandon looked
at me, his expression full of pride, love and so much joy I started tearing up
again. “I’m a dad.” His voice was thick as he tried to speak around the lump in
his throat. He pressed his lips to mine and pulled away slightly, “Thank you
sweetheart, you have no idea how happy this makes me. How happy you make me.”

With the hand
that wasn’t holding Liam, I ran my fingers down his jaw before cupping his
cheek. “I think I have an idea. You are my world Brandon, I couldn’t do any of
this without you, nor would I want to.”

Mom came back
in then followed by Carrie. They both took turns holding him, and while they
did, Brandon and I shared sweet kisses and meaningful glances. When he told his
mom what time Liam was born, she smiled at us before seeming to understand what
that meant. Her face fell soft, her eyes misting.

“Well hello
Liam.” She said like she was just seeing her husband for the first time in
years, “You sure know how to make an entrance.”

My heart tugged
as I recalled stories she had shared with me. The night she first met Liam, it
was pouring rain outside and she’d just been about to leave a coffee shop with
her girlfriends. Liam opened the door and stepped in, his foot sliding on the
wet tile floor and knocking into Carrie causing her to fall on him. They had
laughed so hard it took them almost two minutes to finally get standing again
and when they did he apologized and held out a hand to her, introducing
himself.

She took his
hand and shook it lightly saying, “Well you sure know how to make an entrance
Liam Taylor.”

When she turned
to leave, Liam looked at her and said, “You’re really going to leave after something
brought us together like that?” 

Instead of
leaving with her girlfriends that night, she decided to take a chance on a
stranger and had another coffee with him. They talked until the shop closed and
were married six months later. That first sentence she spoke to him became a
joke in their relationship as well as their family once the boys were born. And
now, our little Liam was carrying it on for her.

***

“Sweetheart,”
Brandon groaned, his voice was thick with sleep, “is it your turn or mine? What
time is it?”

I turned my
head toward where the clock sat on my nightstand, but couldn’t open my eyes
just yet. “I don’t know. It’s probably my turn though.” Finally forcing my eyes
open I blinked at the bright green numbers. It was a little after four in the
morning, I smiled that at least he’d slept a little longer this time. Grabbing
the comforter, I flung it off myself and onto Brandon. Before I could fall out
of the bed though, he grabbed my forearm and held me down.

“If you think
it’s your turn, then it’s most likely mine.”

“I have to feed
him anyway Brandon, he’s been asleep for three hours. I’ll go.” I threw my legs
off the bed and sat up. Brandon grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back down,
crawling over until his head was hovering over mine.

“Then let me
get him and bring him here for you.” He kissed me softly, then pressed his lips
to my throat. “Get comfortable, I’ll be right back.”

I sighed
happily and propped the pillows up against the headboard and sat against them.
Liam was a little over six weeks old, and while some nights we had to wake him
up to feed him, tonight wasn’t one of them. Brandon had been more than helpful
with him, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have him love and help me. I
thought since I was the woman, I would be the one waking up every time to be
with Liam, or be the one to change him. I was breastfeeding so of course I was
the one doing all the feeding, but like now, Brandon would sometimes get him
and bring him to me so I could stay in our bed. And we were always taking turns
with everything else. Brandon was an amazing father. He loved Liam and was
always so excited to see him, and the same went for our son. Whenever Brandon
would talk to him, Liam went silent and just stared at him. If Brandon rained
little kisses on him, or offered up his fingers to be gripped by his son, Liam
smiled wide at his dad and my heart would melt watching them. They both made my
days better, spending time with the two of them was what made me jump out of
bed in the mornings, and although I wanted Brandon there as much as possible, I
cherished my time alone with Liam whenever he went to his classes.

Brandon walked
in holding him against his chest, and of course Liam was completely silent.
“Someone’s hungry, he kept trying to go for my chest.”

“Did you tell
him the restaurant is closed?” I snickered as he handed our son to me. I smiled
widely back at the toothless smile facing me and kissed his forehead before
setting him up to eat. Didn’t matter that we were exhausted, I loved seeing my
little man.

“I told him
that restaurant had never even opened.” Brandon laughed heartily and kissed
both of us before climbing into bed next to me. He flipped on the TV and turned
on the news, the only interesting thing on in the early mornings.

“How was your
nap little Liam?” I played with his hand as he greedily ate, like he wouldn’t
ever get another meal.

Brandon placed
a hand on my thigh and leaned over to be closer to us, “How was
your
nap
Harper? You’ve been getting less sleep than I have.”

“I know,” I
sighed and lay my head on his, “I can’t help it though. Ever since he went to
the nursery I feel like if I go to sleep, something will happen to him.”

“He’s fine, and
he’ll continue to be fine. But you need to sleep. Maybe –”

“No Brandon, I
don’t want to bother them.”

“Harper.” He
moved his head out from under mine and tilted my chin so I was looking into his
brown eyes. “You know you wouldn’t be bothering them. They’re here almost every
day and they ask every time if they can babysit, so don’t act like we can’t
call my mom or yours. Tell me what’s really stopping you from asking them.”

 I looked down
to my precious son before glancing back up to my amazing fiancé. Tears began
rapidly filling my eyes.

“Sweetheart,
you’re crying? Why?”

“I can’t
Brandon…I can’t.” I choked on a sob and put my fist to my mouth to muffle it,
Liam had started dozing off again.

“Harper what is
wrong? Please tell me.”

I was trying, I
just couldn’t speak yet so I held up a finger, silently asking him to give me a
second to calm down a little, “I can’t leave him. I’m terrified of what might
happen if I do. Chase and your dad were gone just like that. I don’t want to
lose him and I don’t want him to lose one or both of us. We know what it’s like
to be without a parent, I can’t do that to him.”

“Aw hell,
sweetheart that won’t happen. I know why you’re scared, but we can’t live like
that. We can’t let what’s happened in our pasts, rule our lives now and in the
future. That’s not fair to us, and it’s not fair to Liam. Nothing is going to
happen, you need to allow yourself to enjoy our lives, as well as his. I don’t
want to be away from him either, but I will admit, I want alone time with you.
We need to have time where it’s just us. Even if it’s just a couple hours, once
a week.”

“I’m sorry.” I
pulled Liam up to my chest and tried to burp him before taking him back to the
nursery.

“For what?”

“For neglecting
you. You’re right, we do need time for us.”

Brandon
chuckled and removed the pillows from behind my back, so he could slide in
behind me. “Harper, you haven’t been neglecting me. Not at all. We’ve been
extremely busy, and spending time as a family is more important to me than
anything.” His deep voice got even lower and he leaned forward to nibble at my
ear, “But I’m selfish, and I want my girl for myself sometimes. Do you think we
can figure out some us time?”

My heart
started hammering from his lips brushing against my skin and I realized we
hadn’t had anything other than hugs and chaste kisses since Liam had been born.
“I think we need to.” I said a little breathless.

“Date night,
every Thursday?”

“How convenient
that it’s Thursday.” I smiled and nestled deeper into his chest.

Brandon lightly
brushed his hand over Liam’s head before he dropped both of them to my waist
and then over where my stomach used to be.

“Do you miss
it?” His hands had stilled for a second before sliding over my flat stomach
again. I know, I know, I already have a lot of women that hate me. When we walk
into the appointments for Liam, everyone asks if we adopted because within a
week, my stomach went completely back to normal. It was mind blowing even to
Brandon and me, and we definitely knew that my stomach had been close to the
size of a beach ball not long before. I had one stretch mark, and it was mostly
unnoticeable because it ran along a tip of one of my lilies. But if it weren’t
for that and my chest, I would think I’d made the entire pregnancy up and just
stolen a baby from the hospital.

“You’re the most
beautiful woman I’ve ever seen either way.” He shrugged and kissed the top of
my head, “I do miss it, but I’m glad that he’s here now. It will just take some
time to get used to not having your stomach there. Like right now, I keep going
to run my hands over it, and then they just continue to slide straight across
and it throws me off for a second.”

“Throws you
off? Think about how I felt when I went to set that bowl on my stomach and it
fell into my lap.”

Brandon’s husky
laugh sent a shiver through me. “I’m sorry, but that was funny as hell. Your
face was priceless.”

Liam stirred
and we both held our breaths until we were sure he was still asleep. “I’m going
to put him back in his crib.” I whispered, “I’ll be right back.”

I slid off the
bed after letting Brandon kiss his forehead, and headed to the nursery. Rocking
Liam for a minute, I pressed my lips to his head and put him down.

“I love you
Liam Chase.” After one last longing glance, I left the door cracked a bit, and
went back to my other man.

“Did he wake
up?”

I shook my
head, crawling onto the bed and over to him. Grabbing the remote, I clicked off
the TV and pressed my lips to the hollow at the base of his neck, letting my
tongue glide over his collarbone. “Are you tired?”

Brandon groaned
and wrapped his arms around me, “Not at all.” He flipped me onto my back and
hovered over me.

“I was thinking
we could have a pre-date, date.” I shivered as I wrapped my legs around him and
pulled him closer.

“Harper,” he
spoke against my neck, “you have to tell me if anything has changed. We haven’t
done anything in a long time, and unless you set boundaries now, I don’t know
if I’ll be able to stop once we’ve started.”

“The only thing
that has changed, is that I want you more now than I ever have before. I don’t
want to wait anymore, I want to be with you.”

He crushed his
mouth to mine and tugged lightly on my bottom lip, keeping his hold on it as he
sat me up. In a move so fast, he pulled my shirt off and pressed me back down
to the bed. Just having my bare chest against his was incredible and heat
churned in my stomach. I arched my back into him as he started trailing down my
neck to my chest. When he got to my stomach, he hooked his right hand into my
shorts and started tugging down. My breathing was ragged as I waited in heated
anticipation for what was finally going to happen between us. After my shorts
and underwear joined my shirt on the floor, Brandon slowly explored my body
with his lips and hands, but every time I tried to do my own search of him,
he’d grasp my hands and pull them over my head. I was whimpering by the time he
released his hold on my hands and put them on either side of my body, only
leaving his mouth on me. Slowly I ran my hands down his muscled back, narrow
waist and hips before gripping the top of his jersey shorts. His breath caught
as I ran my fingers back and forth along the top and I laughed huskily when he
quickly brought his lips back to mine. Before I could pull his shorts down,
Liam woke back up and let out a long wail. Brandon cursed and fell to the side,
pulling me on top of him. He held me tightly as we listened to him for a
minute, both silently praying that he would fall right back to sleep. When he
didn’t, I pressed my forehead against his and sighed deeply.