Take it All (Blinded by Love) (39 page)

“Snake, back off man,” Caleb said, his mouth tight as he took a step forward and stood in front of Lennox; blocking her from Snake’s reach.

“Nah, man,” Snake shook his head, a heinous laugh sounding, “Next time you pull this, I pay Lennox a little visit. Maybe it’ll make you move faster and get me my shit.” His words weren’t just a threat but a promise he intended on keeping.

Lennox froze as her body numbed. Her hands grabbed the back of Caleb’s tee for dear life and she could feel the tautness of his body under her touch. “You
touch
her, I fucking kill you,” Caleb said in a low growling whisper.

Snake’s laugh echoed in the night along with Slim and Tanks before Snake turned to Caleb with glowering eyes, “Chill out man, it’s all good,” he said, then backed away, “Until next time.” He winked, turning to follow the guys to their car.

Lennox loosened her grip as she heard three doors slam, followed by the sound of a car starting then squealing away and out of the parking lot, leaving Lennox and Caleb alone. Caleb turned and started to hook his arms around her waist when she roughly pulled away from him, as she tried to calm her trembling body down.

“Lox,” he said, reaching out to her but she stepped back, shaking her head not wanting to hear it as she turned her back to him. “Dove, look at me,” Caleb said softly from behind her.

She didn’t turn around. She stood there in the empty parking lot, with her back to him as she wiped angrily at the tears that had started to fall, the ones she could no longer hold back. She was at a crossroads. She had told Caleb earlier she would be there with him through it all, always. But there was a small part of her that wanted to end things and just walk away. It was only a small part, but the part that loved him, more than anything, was the size of the solar system with no end in sight. And the thought of ending it, walking away from him, destroyed her; like a jagged knife slicing through her flesh, slowly twisting and turning inside her a thousand times over. The thought made it hard to breathe, like the air was sucked out of the atmosphere and her heart was ripped from her chest leaving her nothing but an empty hollow shell. She began to panic at never seeing him again, feeling him again, never hearing his voice call her Dove, but mostly at the thought of never having a future together; their souls were woven and without him she lost hers.

She whipped around and pushed him back with a cry, making him stumble back, “Why,” she cried.

“Lennox–”

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to sit in a room with you as you snort that shit up your nose, huh?” she cried, pushing him back again. “To lay in bed and listen to you do it in the bathroom, then crawl in next to me like nothing happened; like it’s the most normal thing in the world?”

“Baby, calm–”

“Don’t tell me to calm down, Caleb! I don’t know if you’ve notice before but I don’t sleep when I’m with you. I lay there all night next to you, knowing when you get up, sleeping when I know you’re sleeping but praying you don’t leave me and die. When I’m at home, I’m constantly thinking it and worrying about it; I’m lucky if I get three– four– hours of sleep a night.” She ran her hands through her hair swiping at the tears rolling down her cheeks

“I don’t know what to say, Lox, I didn’t know you felt that way–”

She cut him off as she scoffed at his words. “Really? You thought I was perfectly fine with it all, fine with the drugs, fine with the lies, fine with the nights of no sleep, and fine with a creepy ass drug dealer threatening me,” she exclaimed, a sob escaping from her throat.

“No,” he cried, “of course not, it’s complicated Lennox, you don’t understand–”

“Drugs or me, Caleb,” she blurted out, not wanting to give him an ultimatum but needing to know she was as important to him as he was to her, that as much as she couldn’t live or breathe without him, he couldn’t without her as well. She knew he loved her but at that moment, she needed him to prove it to her and after everything that had happened, she needed to know that she was worth the fight.

She looked back at Caleb who was looking at her with a look she couldn’t read. Her stomach fell and a lump formed in her throat as she turned away from him, wanting and needing to run and get away from him. His hand reached out and grabbed her by the elbow and spun her forcefully until she was tightly in his embrace. Unable to look up at him, she looked down and focused on the King Kong on his arm until his hand slipped under her chin and lifted it gently; her sad tear-filled eyes met his that were swimming with bewilderment.

“Dove,” he said firmly, looking deeply into her eyes as his arms tightened around her, “remember, you and I against the world– always.”

Lennox fell into his hard chest, his arms around her holding her so she didn’t fall. Her arms hooked around his waist as she buried herself into him and started sobbing; releasing the tears that refused to stay hidden any longer. Caleb kissed her head and held her tight with one arm while the other soothingly stroked up and down her back. “I love you, Caleb,” she said into his chest, her voice raspy and thick from crying.

“You too, baby,” he whispered, “let’s get outta here and get you back to my place.” She nodded then reached up and brushed her lips over his lightly before walking with him back to the car. They took off back to his place where they spent the night making love and holding one another close, letting the events of the night go and only being in the moment with one another; nothing else and nothing more.

Lennox sat nervously next to Caleb. Her knee was bouncing up and down, her arms crossed over her chest and her lip pulled between her teeth, biting down so hard she could taste blood.

Caleb was seated next to her with his hands, palm down, on his knees; nervously rubbing them up and down. Seeing her knee bounce up and down, he reached across and placed his hand over it, stopping it, then looked at her and said, “I can do this alone; you don’t have to be here.”

Her lip slipped from her teeth as she whipped her head in his direction, “What– no– I want to be here, I meant what I said about being with you every step of the way,” she said, meaning every word as he took her hand and squeezed it.

“Just don’t be surprised with anything they come back with and say,” his head fell back against the plush white leather couch, “they are my parents after all,” he said dryly.

Before Lennox could say anything, both of Caleb’s parents walked into the living room and sat across from them on the opposite couch. Caleb’s mom sat with her legs crossed and her posture straight as she looked from Caleb to Lennox with sharp intimidating eyes, as if telling them she already knew why they were there. Caleb’s father sat next to her, his back against the couch with his elbow resting against the armrest and his hand holding his head.

“Where’s Hales?” Caleb asked, sitting forward as one hand dangled in between his legs and the other one rubbed his jaw.

Johanna’s lips twisted as her eye brow popped, “She’s coming,” she said, looking between the two suspiciously, “so what’s this all about exactly?”

He sat back next to Lennox and grabbed her hand tightly, his other resting along his leg, “We have to talk to–”

“Finally, my brother did something right– way to go bro– I wanna see the ring,” Haley said cheerfully as she walked into the living room grinning.

Lennox coughed as Caleb’s hand went rigid in her grasp. “Not what we’re here for, Hale’s,” he reassured her then looked over at his parents who were wearing shocked expressions, “we aren’t engaged.”

“Good, I was gonna say just because she’s pregnant doesn’t mean you need to get married,” Johanna said with a wave of her hand, “right Will?”

“Caleb your mother’s right,” he eyed him intently.

It was Lennox’s turn to grab Caleb’s hand tightly as if she wanted to break something, “Excuse me, but I’m
not
pregnant,” she said defensively.

“God, mom could you be more cold thinking Caleb would only marry her because he knocked her up. When he proposes, and he will– you will– it will be because he loves her, unlike you and dad,” Haley said waving her hand in the air.

“Haley Kingston.” Johanna’s eyes darted her way and looked at her as if daggers could fly from her eyes.

“Would you guys knock it off,” Caleb exclaimed as he rose to his feet, “Lennox isn’t pregnant, we aren’t getting married–”

“Thank God.”

Lennox looked over at Johanna who was staring back at her, and she could have sworn she saw a flash of guilt in them before it disappeared just as quick. She didn’t know what it was about but it didn’t seem to matter since her eyes then narrowed in her direction before she looked over at Caleb. Lennox shook her head not understanding why they hated her so much, why they treated her like she was the worst person on the planet; if only they knew what she did for their son.

“Moving in together?” Haley smirked as she sat in the arm chair that was off to the side of the couches.

“No, we aren’t anything okay,” he exasperated, running his hand over his face, ready to snap.

His mother sighed then folded her hands in her lap, “Then, Caleb, what is it you wanted all of us here for and why are you guys telling us together?”

Lennox sat forward as Caleb sat back down next to her and their hands instantly found one another’s and held on tight. He looked over at her to see her nod firmly, telling him to get it over with so they could move forward with everything. He smiled weakly at her then looked at his sister, sympathetically, then over to his parents with an uneasy, dreaded look. “I’m using again,” he came out and said, Lennox’s hand gripping his tighter, “I have been for awhile now and it’s come to a point where...” he trailed off, looking at Lenox for clarity, “I need to get clean, and stay clean.”

Lennox saw Haley slump in her chair as her eyes welled up with tears; one by one they rolled over the rim and fell down her cheek. She brushed them away quickly, hating she was showing her emotions in front of everyone when she wasn’t that person; she was the type who would say everything was fine then run up to her room and cry. She put on a tough girl attitude mostly but when it came to Caleb and his drug addiction it wasn’t something she could run and hide from.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised,” his father said as he folded his hands together and eyed Caleb suspiciously, “Johanna?”

She looked from Caleb to Lennox then back, like she was trying to figure something out, like she was trying to pin something down, like blaming someone for his relapse, someone like Lennox. “How long has it been going on?” she asked simply. “Since you got out of rehab?”

“Rehab?” Lennox said surprised, jerking back and looking at him, “You didn’t tell me you went to rehab, Caleb.”

“I was going to, I just... I guess I didn’t think it mattered,” he shrugged his shoulders.

“You didn’t think it
mattered
,” she repeated confused, looking away from him to the vase of fake calla lilies that was sitting on the coffee table in front of her.

“Lennox, Caleb went to rehab at the beginning of January for thirty days,” Haley said in hushed voice as she too had her eyes on the lilies.

“All that money, just gone and wasted because you couldn’t keep your nose clean and get back to living your life normally,” Johanna said with a hint of disgust in her voice. “Will, deal with him because I can’t do it anymore.” She stood from the couch and walked over to their liquor cart and poured herself a brandy.

“Caleb, this has gone on long enough. Your mother and I can’t keep sending you to rehab, we can’t baby you. One rehab stint should have been enough and should have given you the tools to be able to stay away from it,” he said with a shake of his head.

Caleb, no longer able to hold it in, laughed at his father’s words. It wasn’t his normal laugh but a humourless empty laugh, “Yeah well, we don’t see eye to eye on that, dad,” he said, standing up and pacing back and forth in the living room.

Johanna sat down with her drink and said, “Don’t give us the whole ‘once an addict, always an addict’ bull again; it’s not a disease Caleb, it’s a choice and one you should be able to kick no problem.”

“Are you high?”

She reeled back, “I beg your pardon?” she asked horrified.

“I know I’m not high, at least nothing fresh and I know Hales and Lox aren’t, but I don’t know about you guys.” Sarcasm oozed through his words as he went to pull out a smoke only to remember he didn’t have them. “What a perfect time to quit smoking too.”

“So what’re your plans to get clean this time? Rehab?” his mom asked curiously.

Shaking his head, he sat back down next to Lennox who had just been sitting there watching everything unfold, looking surprised. “No rehab. I quit smoking and that’s something associated with my using and I put in a transfer for work, to a different shop away from where I pick up and Lennox said she’d be there to help me along with Emerson and Reed.”

“Well sounds like you have it all sorted out, don’t you,” Johanna said, looking at his dad with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah, it’ll be tough but I know I can do it,”

“And what exactly is different than last time?” his dad questioned, interested in his response as he took the glass from Johanna and tossed back the brandy in one mouthful.