Take it All (Blinded by Love) (37 page)

She looked at him, carefully eyeing him, “A little bit, why?”

“Got enough for gas?”

She looked away from him, sighing, as she said, “Yep.”

Caleb tried reaching for her hand only for her to rip it away, out of his reach. “I’m sorry, Lennox, okay, I’m sorry I lied to you,” he exasperated.

“Then why did you?” she asked softly, as she watched the houses pass by her window in a blur.

Sighing, he shook his head, “I don’t know, I didn’t want you to worry or know, plus it was my problem to worry about,” he said, glancing at her as he pulled into the gas station and pulled up to a pump.

She unbuckled her belt and grabbed her purse. “And look how things turned out; put twenty five in,” she said in a huff, then folded out of the car and slammed the door heading into the store going right for the connecting door to the liquor store.

Lennox wandered the isles until she settled on a mickey of vodka then took it to the counter and paid for it. She tossed the bottle in her purse before going next door to pay for the gas then hurried back to the car where Caleb was waiting for her. She put her purse between her feet, not saying a word about the bottle she was now carrying, as she pulled her seatbelt across her lap. Caleb sped out of the parking lot and down a couple blocks till he merged onto the highway, heading in the direction of his parents place.

The car was silent; only the faint sounds of the radio playing in the background so low you could barely hear what song was playing. Lennox watched the darkened trees fly by in a blur as her mind started to wander. She wondered what they were going to do if he couldn’t get any money from his parents. She didn’t have anything more to give him and the most she could borrow from her parents was a couple hundred; other than that they were screwed with a creepy drug dealer waiting in the wings.

“So,” she began, finally breaking the silence in the car, gaining Caleb’s attention as he looked at her from the corner of his eye, “have you thought about what we’re going to do if you can’t get anything from your parents?”

“Nope, no idea.”

“I’ll try and think of something,” she sighed, sounding defeated as her head fell back against the headrest and her eyes closed from the pounding in her head.

“Baby, it’s not up to you to figure it out, it’s my problem,” he said softly, his eyes staring straight ahead on the road in front.

“True, but,” she replied, shrugging her shoulder, her head rolling to the side to look at him with a sad smile, “I love you, and what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn’t do everything possible to help you.”

Caleb’s jaw tightened at the same time as his hand gripped the steering wheel, as he said, “You deserve better.”

Lennox looked at him, taken aback, “What did you say?” she asked, not sure if she was hearing him right.

He shook his head as he looked out his window, not saying anything for a few moments as he gathered his thoughts at what he wanted to say. He wanted to make sure if came out right. “I’ve always thought you could do better than me because you deserve much better than me, Lox,” he paused as he switched hands on the wheel and propped his left elbow on the ledge of the window as his hand smothered into his hair. “I never wanted to bring you into my world– this fucking hell– I wasn’t going to contact you again. I thought about just leaving you to find someone who actually deserved someone like you– but I couldn’t, I was too selfish.”

“Caleb, I wouldn’t–”

“And the thought of not seeing you again, not being next to you, who got to feel you, make you laugh and smile– all that... I just couldn’t stand it. So I threw it all away, said fuck it and didn’t care what the outcome would be because, if we only got a day, a week, fuck, a few months, then, that was okay with me– I’d rather that than nothing at all.” He pulled up to a house that wasn’t his parents and parked by an open pathway.

Lennox brushed the tears that had fallen before she reached out and grabbed his arm, willing him to look at her. Hesitating, he released the door handle he had grabbed and turned to face her, the melancholy of her expression making his gut twist in guilt. “Caleb, as crazy as this will sound it’s true, but, I’m glad you were selfish and didn’t walk away because it wouldn’t have been fair to me.”

His brows furrowed together as he looked at her confused, “I’m not following, Lennox,” he said.

“What I mean is, if you had walked away thinking that, it wouldn’t have been fair to
not
give
me
the choice. The choice to decide on my own what I thought and what I wanted but you did– you did give me a choice– even if you didn’t actually say the words, a choice needed to be made. And the night after I saw you do that line, we stood in your room, and I made the choice,” her voice cracked as she took his hand in hers. “The choice was you, Caleb, and it was an easy choice I stand by and one I wouldn’t change. Wherever we fall, I’m without a doubt there, following you down so I can bring you right back up again.”

Caleb looked at her in awe as he whispered in a voice so low, he wasn’t sure if she heard him, “Dove.”

She shook her head, “Always, Caleb, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” she said as she swiped at the fresh tears that had rolled down her cheeks.

Caleb impetuously reached across the car and grabbed her by the back of the head and claimed her lips frantically as her arms hooked around his neck, holding on as their lips moved hurriedly as Caleb mumbled over her mouth, “I gotta go, I’ll be back.” He pulled back then folded out of the car and took off down the darkened path, leaving her in his car wondering where they were.

Lennox watched the clock as the time ticked by; looking at the dash every five minutes then back to the path hoping to see Caleb walk out of the darkness but each time she looked from the clock to the path and didn’t see him, it made her more anxious. The clock finally read nine fifteen and Caleb had been gone for almost twenty minutes when she looked up to see him jogging out of the darkness, towards the car. “Well?”

“I got four hundred,” he said pulling the wad of cash out and putting it into the cup holder with the sixty already there.

“We still need fifteen forty,” Lennox said, watching Caleb pull on his seatbelt then pull away from the curb and head back into the direction they came, “Go to the Hill; I think I can get the rest.”

Caleb looked at her baffled, “How?”

She pulled her cell phone out of her purse and scrolled through her contacts. “I’ll tell you in a second,” she said, finding the number, pushing talk and putting her cell phone to her ear.

“Who’re you calling?”

She put up her hand to quiet him, as the line picked up. “Hey, it’s me,” she said nervously.

“Really, I thought maybe someone switched all my contacts around and this was really my mom calling.”

“Funny,” she smiled, chuckling softly and avoiding Caleb’s questioning stare.

“What’s up, Cupcake, aren’t you with the man?”

“Yeah, I am, listen I um... I need a favour,” she asked, hating herself for what she was about to do.

“Name it.”

“Raine,” she said, seeing Caleb’s unhappy expression from the corner of her eye as he shook his head in disbelief that she’d call him, “It’s pretty big.”

“How big is it?” he asked suggestively, and she could hear the smirk in his tone and she wished she could carry the joke on but time was running out.

“Raine, this is serious.” Her head fell back and she closed her eyes as her other arm came up and rested over her eyes.

“Why don’t I like the sound of your voice? What’s going on?”

She swallowed as she fought with herself to open her mouth and say what she called for. “I’m in a bind,” she finally said, lying.

“Lennox.” His voice was tight and challenging as she knew he didn’t believe that she was the one in a bind.

“I need to borrow money, Raine.”

He sighed, “How much?”

“A grand.”

“Son of a bitch,” he hissed and she switched ears so Caleb couldn’t hear what he said next. “It’s for him, right? He owes money to someone doesn’t he?”

“Raine, please,” she begged

“Tell me Lennox.”

Knowing it was the least she could do, she sighed and said, “Yes.”

“Is it bad?”

“I think so.”

“Fucking hell,” he boomed, “I’ll stop at the bank and get it; be home in fifteen, meet me there when you get to town.”

Her shoulders fell as her eyes burned with tears again, “Thank you, for doing this for him,” she whispered.

“Fuck that, it ain’t for
him
. I’m doing it for
you
,” he snapped as she heard him slam something that sounded like a door, “I’ll see you soon.” He disconnected and the line went dead. She hated what she was about to do and that she had to involve one of her closest friends but she knew he had the money and that he’d do it, since neither Londyn or Tatum knew anything of what was going on.

“Go to my work first, then to Raine’s,” she told him, dropping her cell phone back in her purse.

“Can’t believe you called Raine.”

Lennox’s eye brows rose to her hair line as she looked at him taken aback and in disbelief. “I’m sorry?” she asked, enunciating the latter, hoping she heard him correctly.

“What are you going to tell him the money’s for? Why not ask Londyn or Tatum?”

“He already knows,” she shouted. “He’s known since that night at Ty’s. Who do you think I called, Caleb?” she shot at him, her anger boiling to the surface, “I haven’t even told Londyn or Tatum so that’s why I didn’t ask them; Raine is the only one who knows anything of what is going on.”

“Why Raine, you like him or something?”

“Oh don’t even fucking start on that. Raine’s one of my best friends who’s like a brother to me,” she exasperated as she grabbed her purse off the floor.

“So, you
kissed
him and he wanted to take you out,” he shot back, grabbing a smoke and holding it between his lips as he lit it.

She jerked her head in his direction, “Are you high? Has the cocaine seriously made you that deranged?”she asked, amazed at how he was acting towards her at that moment. “Plus if you would have called
me
instead of being on a
binge
, I wouldn’t have met him.” She threw it in his face, not caring about his feelings at the moment since he didn’t care about hers. She grabbed the plastic bottle from her purse and unscrewed the cap and took a long pull of vodka.

“What the hell is that?” Caleb exclaimed angrily.

Screwing the cap back on, she looked at him with her head tipped to the side and her eyes narrowed, “What does it look like?”

“When the fuck did you get it?”

“When we stopped for gas; I had a feeling I might need it to ease the pain a bit.” Caleb looked at her bewildered, wanting an explanation. “You know, in case we don’t meet Snake’s deadline and he comes after us, if I’m hammered it might not hurt as much,” she said sarcastically.

Caleb’s face fell at her words, “Lox–”

“Drive Caleb, we only got forty five minutes,” she said, taking another pull from the mickey then put it back into her purse.

Caleb and Lennox were silent as the car filled with tension so thick you could slice it with a knife. It baffled her as to why he’d get so strung out over asking Raine for money when she had told him before they were just friends and nothing more. She thought he had accepted it and let it go, but after seeing him explode the way he did, she wasn’t sure that was the case. After all she’s done for him and all she’s told him he still questioned her feelings for Raine. She had to admit, she loved Raine, a lot, but only in a big brother type of way, the way she loved Londyn and Tatum. She also had to admit that she was glad Caleb never called her that weekend and that she and Raine met because she couldn’t imagine what she would do without him. He was her lifeline when it came to everything Caleb and without him, she’d be a horrible mess who was holding too much in, keeping it bottled away.

“Why’d you say I was on a binge that weekend?” Caleb suddenly asked out of nowhere.

Sighing she looked at him and said, “Weren’t you?”

He nodded, “But how’d you know?”

“I didn’t, I just said it to see if you denied it and if you really were working that weekend. I guess you weren’t.” She sounded exhausted as they pulled into the station parking lot with five minutes until closing. “Wait here, I’ll be back.” She grabbed her purse and climbed out of the car and slammed the door behind her.

Lennox walked into the station and saw Joy sitting behind the counter waiting to cash out and close up. “Sorry we’re closing soon– oh hey Lennox– what’re you doing here?”

“Hey Joy, Caleb and I were headed back to his place and I realized I left my cell charger here the other day so I’m just grabbing it from the back room. I won’t be long,” Lennox lied as she walked towards the back office.

“Sure no problem, your dad was here not long ago grabbing the deposits so it should be open,” Joy called out.

Lennox stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes closing in dread as she called over her shoulder, “He did, but usually deposits don’t get done till Monday.” She tried to play it down and not show the shock and panic that rolled through her.

Joy looked over at her as she locked up the doors, “Yeah, he didn’t say why he was taking them, he’s the boss so I didn’t question him– you okay?”

She shook her head feeling the nausea swish around in her stomach, “Huh? Oh, yeah I’m good, just tired that’s all,” she covered with a bright smile. “I should grab my charger then head– Caleb’s waiting.” She motioned to the car then turned and hustled to the back office.

Closing the door behind her she turned the lock, locking the door. “Fuck,” she whispered to herself looking around as panic began to roll through her not knowing what she was going to do. She double checked the deposit box but it was empty. She moved things around, shuffled papers but not finding anything until she remembered the second float they never used that was locked away in the desk drawer along with a jar of extra cash. She sat in the desk chair and rolled over to where they kept the key in a mason jar full of pens and markers and dumped it, grabbing the only silver key that fell out, then put everything back. She quickly unlocked the drawer and grabbed the wad of bills and the cash that was stuffed in the jar then closed the drawer, locked it and put the key back before unlocking the door and leaving.