Surrender to Me (4 page)

Chapter 4

Old Friends

I
look at V, my face demanding answers.

My
legs are jelly beneath me because I am in the same room as Jasper White.

V
awkwardly smiles and steps away from me, while I place my hand on the wall for
support.

“Sooo,
I guess now would be a good time to tell you both.” V looks over at Lucas for
support.

“Tell
us what? Lucas, what the hell is going on?” Jasper asks, looking at Lucas who
is uncomfortably holding up a suit, which is two sizes too small for him. 

Then
it all clicks into place.

Judging
by the suit Lucas is holding, Jasper is meant to be my partner. The best man!
Bride or not, I am going to wring her neck!

This
is so awkward, and I suddenly want to escape into the safety of my fancy
dressing room.

After
a few moments of centering myself, I slowly take in all things Jasper White. I
haven’t seen him for over four months, and taking him in has the same impact it
does every time I see him.

I
melt.

Looking
at his physique, he appears to have bulked up somewhat, as his shoulders seem
broader and his arms look firmer. His biceps are peeking out of his grey V neck
t-shirt which is complemented by his close-fitting black jeans, and black
combat boots. Jasper stands at 5’10, and has always been lean, but muscled in all
the right places, and now is no exception. He is the epitome of what a male
should look like.

I
work my way up to that glorious face that could bring a nation to a standstill,
but that face now looks harder, like it has experienced many hardships since I
last saw it. His hair is slightly longer than I remember it being. He still has
shortish sides, but it’s the longer layers on top which are styled messily,
giving it more of an unkempt look. He has tamed his bedroom locks with hair
product, and it appears wet and wild and so, so hot! Perfect hair to yank onto
when one is wriggling in pleasure underneath him.

His dark
growth is shadowing his strong jaw line, and complementing his sinful bow lips,
which are as tempting as I remember them being. The small scar he has on the
left side of his bottom lip is getting worked furiously between his teeth. I
shiver when I remember how those teeth felt grazing along my flesh.

But
it’s his eyes, those cerulean eyes I have been lost in, too many times to
count, that takes my breath away. Those eyes however, which once looked at me
with such love and sincerity, are now piercing me to my very core with
loathing. I dare say he still hates me.

As
if on cue, he runs his hands through his messy hair angrily, and I know from experience
that this is a sign of frustration, a nervous habit he is unaware of.

“So,
is anyone going to answer my question, or did I just walk into the twilight
zone?” Jasper asks heatedly.

His
voice shatters my ogling, always a little too rough from smoking too many
cigarettes. The anger I feel from his heated words burn a hole into my heart,
and I am a little hurt that my happy feelings are clearly not reciprocated.
Lucas clears his throat and V whistles, looking anywhere but at him.

I
glance up at him shyly, and am wordless, as this man renders me speechless. He
always has, and always will, but sadly this time around, it’s not in a good
way. His eyes are filled with irritation, but when he looks over at me, they
soften slightly. I see his intake of breath deepen and maybe, just maybe, he is
as affected as I am.

Peering
at him a little more confidently, and gaining a little strength that he isn’t
verbally assaulting me right now, I allow myself to rewind to a time when
Jasper and I were happy. When he was my everything, my reason to breathe, and I
wish I could go back to that time. We loved each other once, but now I can only
see turmoil in his cerulean eyes, turmoil I also feel with every breath I take.

We
are staring at one another openly, but suddenly Jasper’s eyes drop briefly to
my cleavage, which I remember was all but hanging out as I leaped out of the
change room. He clenches his jaw, and I forget how to breathe when he licks his
bottom lip quickly, leaving them wet and sinful. I quickly pull the lapels
tighter across my chest, hoping I was not showing too much skin or worse yet,
nipple! Judging by the heated look he is giving me, nipples on display may have
been a possibility.

Oh
dear lord, kill me!

My
pulse is racing against my neck, and I know I am blushing deep shades of
crimson. So I lower my eyes because if I look at him a minute longer, I will
either faint or do inappropriate things to him, regardless of who is in the
room with us.

His
smell assaults my nostrils and his signature fragrance is literally making my
mouth water, and I have to swallow quickly before I drool everywhere.

Peeking
up at him from under my lashes, his eyes are taking in every corner of my face
and body with deep scrutiny. I could get lost in those deep blue orbs, and I secretly
confess to myself, I still want to.

But
then another pair of blue eyes shatters my fantasy, those eyes of my fiancée. I
snap the fuck out of my daydream and return to the present. Jasper senses my
mood shift and takes a step back, but his eyes never leave my face.

“
Pourquoi
tout le monde est
triste?
This is a time to celebrate,” Dominique says to everyone.

We
must look like we are about to get fitted for a funeral.

“Okay
Monsieur, you go over there and try on this suit. You are the best man and you
must look tres bon. But not as good as the groom.” She is joking, attempting to
break the ice.

But
I doubt a sledgehammer could break through this icy reunion.

When
Jasper hesitates, his eyes still locked with mine, Dominique seizes the suit
Lucas is holding and thrusts it into Jasper’s face.

“Go,
now. No time to waste.
Dépèchez-vous!”

I don’t speak much French, but I think that means hurry up and move
your ass, before I move it for you. Jasper breaks our staring match as he
snatches the suit from her hands, and storms off into the change room, cursing
under his breath.

I meanwhile turn to V, who looks all shades of guilty. I pull her
arm and retreat to the corner, away from Lucas and Jasper.

“What the fuck V? You told me Abel was best man. Last time I
checked, Abel didn’t look like Jasper’s doppelganger! Why didn’t you tell me
Jasper was best man? And you obviously didn’t tell Jasper I was Maid of Honor,
judging by his reaction of seeing me standing with my breasts on display for
all to see,” I whisper furiously.

V looks down at my cleavage. “Oh, that is a little big hey. Easy
fixed. Madame D is a whiz. She’ll have it fitted in no time.”

That’s it? That’s what she decides to comment on, after my whole
‘what the fuck’ speech?

I am about to let a string of profanities fly, but she silences me.
“Listen to me Ava. I knew you wouldn’t come if I told you Jasper was going to
be your partner. And we didn’t tell Jasper because we knew he would be the
same. So Lucas and I decided not to tell either of you because this is not
about you two, it’s about us. Me and Lucas. And being our best friends you need
to suck it, get over your differences and play nice. All I am asking for is one
day. You know I would do it for you.”

Her words kick in the gut because she is right. If I was to tell her
right now that I am engaged to Harper, a man she despises, she would get over
her differences and do it for me. As her friend, I have no choice but to do the
same.

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Throwing my hands up in defeat, I sigh, “Fine. It’s only for one
day.”

She looks at me mischievously, and before I can question what she’s
up to, I hear Dominique whistle. “Tres bon.”

I turn around apprehensively, as I know who she is singing her
praises to.

An annoyed Jasper strolls out wearing his tuxedo, and my mouth drops
open in shock at his godliness. He stands in front of an impressed Dominique,
and I notice her eyes widen in approval. But what rational female isn’t
impressed by Jasper’s good looks? He could be wearing a full ninja get up, and
still look like an Adonis.

The tuxedo is simple black, with black silk pinstripes that catch in
the light as he yanks at the stiff bowtie, which sits loosely around his neck.
The white crisp shirt finishes off his simple, yet classic look, and with that
hair which is sticking up rebelliously, the whole ensemble screams, ‘sexy,
dangerously hot!’

V
jumps up and down excitedly, clapping her hands.

“You
look perfect Jasper. Don’t you think Lucas?”

Lucas
smiles at V. He really loves her. Her excitement, her enthusiasm, and all the
things that make her Veronica, he simply adores. A hint of sadness overwhelms
me as I wonder if Harper looks at me with such devotion. I know a certain
someone standing a few feet away from me used to, but this isn’t about him, I
remind myself.

“Bien.
Stand together so I can see how you match,” Dominique demands impatiently to
Jasper and I.

I
laugh to myself, how we match? I know how we match. We’re a perfect fucking
match.

V
nudges me with her elbow towards Jasper, and I look over my shoulder, annoyed
that she is so pushy. But her words play back in my head and I oblige, being
the good Maid of Honor that I am.

He
visibly stiffens up as I step within three feet of him, and my heart sinks, as
this isn’t a good start. Maybe we could perform our roles on the day from
different rooms, as that may work better than this train wreck.

Getting
over my angst, I stand next to him, leaving a small gap between us, and as soon
as I am standing this close, his smell engulfs my senses. That smell, it smells
like home. But smelling my ex is so not appropriate when I am newly engaged, so
I tell myself to focus.

Dominique
starts fussing, pulling pins out of her pin cushion bracelet, while Jasper is
staring straight ahead, totally ignoring me. Unable to stand this animosity
between us a second longer, I snap.

“Hi,”
I smile lamely, trying to break the ice, but he ignores me like I haven’t
spoken.

 O-Kay,
so that wasn’t at all awkward.

Suddenly I
become very angry, as I am trying here, trying to be civil for our friends.

Uh-oh,
here comes agro Ava.

“Are
you serious? You can’t even say hello to me?”

Jasper turns
his intense blue gaze my way, and I wish I hadn’t spoken because if looks could
kill, I would be dead and buried.

“Hi,”
he replies sarcastically.

“You
are such a child,” I say, giving him an evil look.

“Me?”
he laughs wildly. “I think you should take a long hard look in the mirror
babe,” he says, looking away.

My
mood matches the color of my dress and I explode because this is a long time
coming. 

“You’re
the one that walked out on me! If anyone is to blame, it’s you for being a
spineless asshole!”

Dominique
is fixing my hemline, pins in her mouth, while watching our heated exchange,
but not saying a word. I vaguely hear Lucas tell V to let us fight it out.

If
it’s a fight Jasper wants, it’s game on.

“Spineless?
Ha, that’s funny coming from you,” he spits.

He
turns to face me again, and I am on fire when his eyes drop to my revealing
bust, widening at what he sees.

Why
hasn’t Dominique fixed that yet! I can’t fight with him when I am practically
naked.

“You
gave me no choice Ava,” he adds, thankfully his eyes flick back up to meet
mine.

Frowning,
I remember the events that led us to here.

I
didn’t trust Jasper enough when he came to visit me in Singapore, when his
band, “Passengers of Ego” were touring, and Indie, his ex and the queen bitch
of all bitches was on tour with him. I didn’t trust him enough when he told me
over and over there was nothing going on between them. And I didn’t trust him
enough to tell him that I too, had dealings with my ex. I was a hypocrite for
being angry at Jasper, because I was keeping my friendship with Harper a secret
from him.

But
I’m not the one who ended things the way that they did- that was all Jasper.

Dominique
thankfully starts on my neckline, as I was beginning to feel vulnerable and
exposed.

“Fine,”
I reply stubbornly, turning away from him.

“Fine,”
he retorts, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

His
crass comment pisses me off, and I can’t let it slide.

“No,
not fine,” I retort turning to face him, and bringing Dominique with me, as she
is still pinning my dress together.

I
am not done as I shout, “We’re both to blame. Don’t you dare put this all on
me!”

“How
am I to blame?” he asks, pulling his hair into disarray.

V and Lucas
walk outside, leaving us to our screaming match, and I can imagine what I must
look like at the moment- not a pretty sight.

“Because
you failed to mention that Indie was on tour with you and that you two kissed!”

Jasper
takes a steady breath, and I know he is as frustrated with me now, as he was
the last time we had this argument.

“Believe
what you want Ava. I never lied to you. Nor did I ever cheat on you. You on the
other hand…” And he doesn’t finish his sentence, because although I never
cheated on Jasper, I did lie to him. I never told him that I had forgiven
Harper, and we saw one another occasionally. And I never told him that Harper
had no idea he even existed.