Stone (The Forbidden Love Series Book 1) (10 page)

“Are you okay, Maddie?” he whispered. I felt the tears burning at the back of my eyes. I held them in. Instead of worrying about himself, he was worried about me. Lacky showed up and took us to the hospital. My mother stayed home and stitched up her lover…the lover that just finished almost fucking killer
her son
.

     Stone spent seven days in the hospital. He had two broken ribs, a concussion and a sprained arm. Instead of going to school, I snuck into the hospital every morning and stayed with him all day long. The nurses let me. No one was there for Stone except for me. They felt sorry for him. They felt sorry for
us
. The only reason why I left his side was because I knew my mother needed to bathe and would be too high to clean the cum off from the guys she slept with that day and night. I didn’t want her to get sick.

     Ana didn’t come when Stone was discharged. Lacky came instead. Most of the men she was with were guys he had arrested. When it was time for Stone to leave, Lacky signed the discharge papers and gave us a ride home. That day was the day Tiny changed his name to Stone. My last name. He told me no one ever cared about him as much as I did, not even his own father. He told me he would never forget what I had done for him and that he would be forever grateful.

                                He vowed to take care of me.

                                                  Forever.

                                                     ME.

                                               
Only me.

                                         ***

“Hey.” Stone whispered opening his eyes slowly. He smiled at me, almost as if he knew I was staring at him the whole time. I smiled back pushing the wicked memories to the back of my mind and got up quickly to start preparing breakfast. Alyssa heard his voice and said

“DaDa, DaDa.” We both turned quickly to each other and smiled. Stone ran to her and she giggled as he tickled her belly.

“Maddie, did you hear that? She said DaDa!” He shouted.

“She sure did!”  Maddie smiled.

     Daniel was already watching television. He was so smart. I only let him watch Sesame Street. I could hear him mimicking cookie monster. “C is for cookie that’s good enough for me!” in cookie monster’s voice.

“Hi, ready for some eggs and biscuits.”

“Just like old times, huh?” He watched Daniel jump up and down in front of the television. “Did that dick call you?” he said abruptly rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“Do you know any other words besides dick and fuck?” I said annoyed.

“Those are my two favorite words, but, right now they have a totally different meaning.”

“No…he didn’t. Besides, it’s Saturday. He’s probably contemplating my punishment right now.” I rolled my eyes.

“Well, he better not touch you. If he fires you, we’ll move back upstate and start fresh.”

“What are you talking about? My life is here. I have a job or…maybe I don’t, but you’re acting like we’re married. I want my
own
life Stone.” I really didn’t, but I knew a relationship with my brother could never be. I didn’t know if he was my brother or not, but, I didn’t want to make the situation more awkward than it was. He stood at the bedroom door and stared at me. I hurt him and I didn’t mean to.

“Oh…okay. Well, then I’ll just move on. I’ll get my own place. I have a meeting with Max today. He’s going to help me get a job. Fast money. You know.”

“Oh yeah, that’s great. The next time you go to jail count me out! I’m never visiting you! Ever!” I shouted.

“You know; I’m tired of your fucking mouth! I did everything for you while you lived with that old bat! I gave you money to pay for the rent…for food…everything! Why are you still mouthing off to me?” I knew when he was ready to blow up and I could see his feet moving in my direction, but I didn’t think anything of it.

“Stop being so dramatic! I made something of myself. I graduated from high school! I took care of those kids while you were locked up!” I yelled.

“I was locked up because of YOU! You ungrateful b…” He practically stumbled out of the doorway to grab at me. His arms reaching out to grab my hair. I dropped the spatula that I had in my hand scrambling the eggs and I ran towards the living room. He ran after me like I stole his weed. He was so angry I could hear him breathing hard. I jumped on the couch and he grabbed my leg, making me fall face first on the couch, slamming my breasts against it. Then, I felt him on top of me. He turned me around on my back and we struggled like two men fighting in the street. My t-shirt rose exposing my breasts and his hands skimmed my body.
Oh my God…I immediately shuddered at his touch
.
My body trembled.
“Stop! Stop it Maddie!” He shouted.  Daniel ran out of the living room.

“Why did you have to come back? Why?” I stared into his beautiful blue eyes.

“What do you mean?” He grabbed the side of my face gently.

“I’ve never not done anything without you. And when you got locked up. My whole world fell apart. I never even thought about having a boyfriend…because of you. I didn’t even go to my prom.

“Why?” He said tilting his head to the side, his eyes filled with guilt.

“One, I was scared you would be angry with me and two, I felt I would…betray you.” I shook my head. I pulled down my t-shirt and covered myself.

“You’re only eighteen anyway. What do you know about having a boyfriend?”

“Eighteen? My friends were screwing at twelve. I’m the only virgin I know. You’ve screwed everything that had two legs and a pussy.” I crossed my arms against my chest.

“I didn’t ask you to feel that way about me. It was just sex Maddie. Guys have needs. I never loved any of them. You know that. I was fifteen for God’s sake! Why are we talking about this?”

“You loved Lisbeth, didn’t you?” I lowered my eyes to his lips.

“I was fourteen years old, Maddie. She was my first…puppy love. That’s all that was. Again, why are we talking about this?”

“Because, I did feel that way about you and I needed to stop feeling guilty. When I met my boss last year, he was sweet, offered me a job and paid me good money. He wants to marry me Stone?
Me
.”

“Marry you? He’s an abuser, Maddie. Is that who you want for a husband? He doesn’t even want the kids. You said so yourself.” He pursed his lips to the side and gazed directly into my eyes. I could see the anger slowly creeping up to his face.

“I can’t keep living this life. Why do you think I didn’t visit you for a year? I need to make my own decisions without you popping up in the back of my mind all of the time.” He shook his head and bit his lip in anger. We both stood up from the couch.

“Fine. I’ll leave then.” He walked away from me abruptly. I could feel the tears brimming at the corner of my eyes.

“Stone?” I reached out for him and he walked passed me, leaving my hand lingering in the air. Then, he turned suddenly and grabbed me by the waist gently. My entire body stiffened reacting to the touch of his hands on my waist, and the feel of his chest against my breasts.

“You don’t have to say it, Maddie.” He leaned his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my lips. “I feel the same way, too.” He whispered. My eyes rose from staring at his lips to meet his blue eyes. I gazed into them knowing that this was the very moment I’ve been waiting for all of these years. “Only you. It’s always
been only you
.”

“Stone, I…” He placed his finger on my lips and shook his head as his eyes stayed glued to mine. “I didn’t realize it until now.” He slid his hand up and down my back, the sensation of his fingers tracking the length of my back brought an electric current tingling up and down my spine. My body trembled a little, and I waited patiently for his lips to touch mine. “But we can’t be together.” My heart sank into my stomach. “
You’re
my sister and
I’m
your brother. What we feel is wrong.” He let me go from his embrace. The pain in my heart was worse than I thought it was going to be. He was lying to himself. I was lying to myself. We didn’t know for sure if Ana was his mother, but if she was, it was the ultimate sin. Something we both couldn’t live with no matter how we felt. “Good-bye Maddie.” He grabbed the bag he walked in with from prison. An empty bag that had nothing but his old keys to our trailer home when we lived with Ana and his wallet, which I stole from one of her men. I swallowed the lump in my throat watching him kiss Daniel and Alyssa goodbye, then he glanced over at me with the most heart wrenching, disappointing look and walked out…
of my life.

                                  
***

    
       It’s been a couple of months since Stone left. I actually welcomed the tension-free zone I was living in. It felt like a burden had been lifted, even though I thought about him every single day, every moment of the day. I understood what Stone said. My love for him was always forbidden, a taboo, something people frowned upon, something people couldn’t understand. But the love I had for him was pure. It wasn’t tainted. It was innocent. But, I wasn’t the same innocent little girl he knew when we were kids, fending for ourselves because our parents were pieces of shit. Drug addicts…losers. Stone had to grow up fast…take care of his father. He had a fucked up life, and his father didn’t care. Somewhere along the line, he came to us for a reason.

I believed that.

I believed it was fate.

He was meant for me and only…me.

     I never had a childhood. I never knew what it was like to have a mother’s love. She only loved them.
Her men
; their dicks and how they made her come. She never read a story to me at bedtime. She never made me breakfast. We never sat at the dinner table together. She didn’t tell me I would bleed when I got my first period. Stone bought me my first girlie pads after I bled through my clothes at school. He asked Lisbeth to get me some from the girl’s locker room.
That day, I didn’t hate her as much
. My mother taught me nothing except how to be a whore. How to shoot up heroine. How to roll up a joint. How to shop for lingerie and she told me I should swallow when I suck a man off. My childhood was ruined because I was too busy dragging her up from the floor, or cleaning up her bloody face after they gave her a beating when they were done fucking her all night long. Too busy buying her drugs, melting her heroine…shooting her up when she couldn’t find the vein. She came to me so that I could take care of her.

Where was
she
when HE came for me? 

Where was
she
when HE was finished with her and she wasn’t enough for him?

I remembered the looks; the smiles; the candy; the gifts.

I remembered his scent. I remembered his touch.

I remembered his eyes and the way he stripped me

of my clothes without even touching me.

  I remembered a lot of things.

Things Stone never knew about
.                                                                        

Things I wish I could
take back
…but I couldn’t.

 
I wasn’t innocent anymore.

  I was tainted.                                       

Spoiled.

                                  ***

     I believed Stone when he said we couldn’t be together, so I had to make the best of whatever relationship he allowed me to have with him. I loved the way Stone came and picked up the kids every weekend. I appreciated how he never stopped being their daddy. Daniel always stood in the kitchen by the door at exactly the same time every weekend, his Ninja Turtle blanket wrapped tightly in his arms, waiting for me to open the door so he could run into his arms.

   Stone and I barely spoke. It was hi and goodbye, a stolen glance here and there. I wanted to show him I didn’t need him. I wanted to prove to him that the day he walked out on me, he didn’t shatter my heart. He played it off nicely, too. Pretending that his heart didn’t bleed when he saw me. He was working full-time, but he didn’t want to tell me what he was doing for a living. I never asked. He hung out with Clarissa a lot at the apartment while I worked at the club bartending at night on the weekends. I dreaded returning home knowing that he would be making love to her while I was at the club, maybe in my bed; maybe in the bathroom…living room, kitchen floor…maybe the windowsill with her hands pressed against the window. I was sick to my stomach, but he needed to move on without me. That’s what he wanted, so I respected his wishes and moved on with my life, too.