Steel & Ice (13 page)

I squirmed, unable to stay still, my body
begging for release. Blood pulsed through my veins like a drum
beat. He hooked his thumbs around my panties and slowly, so slowly
pulled them down. It was like time slowed yet my body was
internally on fire and it was burning hard and fast. His head moved
in between my legs, and I let out a painful moan. God, I needed him
to touch me.

“
Look at me,” he demanded. I
raised my head, and looked at him hovering between my legs. “I’ve
had your scent in my pocket for months waiting to taste you,” he
said, as he swiped his tongue through my folds and onto my clit. I
had no idea what he was talking about, but I didn’t care. I was
lost in the sensations he was causing.

“
More. I need more,” I
begged. He parted my folds, and licked around the inside of them.
“Oh, shit. Lick my clit. Please. Please, J” I pled. He obeyed and
sucked my throbbing bud into his mouth, holding on to it between
his teeth as he slipped two fingers into me. “Fuck!” I bucked my
hips up. He held them down, and rubbed his fingers inside me, just
like he did on the dance floor. That little “come here” movement
with his fingers that rubbed my G spot, to perfection.

I was drunk on wine, but drunker on the
feeling of his tongue, his lips, and his hands. I started to feel
light headed as he continued sucking and biting my clit. Stars
emerged behind my eyes. I closed them and faintly registered the
sound of a condom package being torn open. I bolted up as my orgasm
began. Rolling my head back and forth as wave after wave crashed
through me. I felt him slide into me. Slowly at first, as if
testing the waters, and the waves that were pulsating through my
pussy. Then he pushed all the way in, filling me up, and dragging
my orgasm out that much more. He held still for a second, as I
caught my breath.

“
Fuck, J.” I was gasping for
breath. I pulled his mouth down to mine, and felt him start to move
inside me.

“
I’ve thought about this
almost every morning,” he said against my lips, as he continued to
stroke in and out of me. “Every morning I’ve wished my hand was
your pussy wrapped around me. I imagined your scent being all over
me.”

I was leaned back and my legs were wrapped
around him. He got onto his knees, and pulled me up so I was
sitting on his cock. We moved in sync, both moaning as I burrowed
my face into his neck and my fingers into his hair. He slipped his
hand between us and began massaging my clit. I felt his cock begin
to grow and pulse inside me. I bit into his shoulder and moaned as
I felt another orgasm coming on. “J. J! Fuck!” I screamed.

As if he had been waiting for me, I felt him
swell inside of me, stretching my walls even more. Then he
exploded, filling the condom and yelling my name over and over
again. He continued massaging my clit and pumping in and out of me
as we both rode the waves of our orgasms. “Elle, oh god, Elle.
Elle.” He kept saying my name until it was a whisper and we were
both gasping for air.

We stayed connected, clutching one another.
“I don’t wanna let go,” I panted, trying to catch my breath.

He pulled my hair back, kissed up my neck
and across my jaw until he reached my ear to whisper, “Then don’t.”
He pulled us down on to our sides, still inside me. “Don’t ever let
go, Elle.” Slowly, our breathing returned to normal. Still, we laid
there, connected, maximum skin to skin contact. It felt like when
we watched the sunset, and there was no past or future. Only the
now.

All too soon, J disentangled his limbs from
mine, and went to dispose of the condom in the bathroom, returning
with a wash cloth wet with warm water. He cleaned me with
tenderness, and tossed the wash cloth into a pile of clothes on the
floor. Crawling back into bed, he pulled me on top of him. I laid
my head on his heart that was still coming down from the explosion
we both experienced.

“
Did you still want pasta?”
he asked, looking down at me with an amused smile.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled
us back on to our sides, so we were face to face. I kissed his lips
gently. So very unlike the aggressive fucking that had just taken
place. “No pasta if means losing even an inch of your skin from
mine.” He chuckled, and laid his head down.

“
No Pasta then,” he
murmured. We both fell asleep wrapped up in each other, sated,
content, and exhausted.

******

My eyes popped open. I woke up surrounded by
darkness, with a racing heart and arms wrapped around me. Fuck.
Where was I? My face was pressed against a hard chest so I couldn’t
be in hell, right? I looked up slowly, afraid of what I might see.
I had woken up next to guys before that I really didn’t want to
wake up next to. Either I was sleeping with them because I had no
place to go, or because it was either get raped or just go with it.
It’s been years though since that happened. It’s been years since
I’d woken up in anyone’s arms.

I slowly looked up, inch by
inch. Hard chest, defined pecs. I continued inching my eyes up
until I was looking at dark hair covering closed eyes and high
chiseled cheek bones. In a flash everything came back to me.
Coffee, the arcade, coming to J’s house. OH! And the
glorious
sex I had with
this man last night. I should have been curling back into him,
right? I wanted to curl back into him. I wanted to throw my leg
across him and claim him as mine. So why did I find myself peeling
my limbs out of his arms, trying not to wake him up?

I tiptoed around the room,
picking up my clothes. Fuck. Where were my clothes? Shit, I had to
pee too. I found the bathroom and relieved myself. I sat on the
toilet, a war happening inside of my mind.
Ok, Elle, let’s assess. You had a great day with J yesterday.
You had even greater sex. He said kind words while giving you
screaming orgasms. He is sexy like no other. Why are you freaking
out? Why are you tryin’ to leave? Why aren’t you crawling back into
that bed for another round? Oh, right, because you’re Eleanor
fucking Skye.

I found the rest of my upstairs clothes and
remembered my bra, hoodie, and shoes I had taken off in the sun
porch. I quickly dressed and pulled my hair up in the band that was
around my wrist. I tiptoed back to the bedroom and stared at J.
Fuck. I hadn’t noticed the tattoo of an eagle on his left shoulder.
That’s the shoulder he rubbed various times that day. The eagle’s
head started on the outter edge of his shoulder, the tail running
half way down his arm. Its wings spread out, with one wrapping
around his body to cover his left pec, and the other running down
his back shoulder blade. Damn, but it was an awesome tat. I exhaled
a silent sigh. He really was gorgeous, and I really wanted to crawl
back in next to him. Instead, I leaned over and kissed him gently
on the cheek. He grumbled, but didn’t wake up.

“
Starfish baby,” I
whispered, then crept downstairs and went home.

Chapter
7

The restaurant had just opened when I
received the first text from J. It was craptastic. Good and bad all
wrapped into one.

J: i was hoping to wake up to you this
morning

ME: had to work

J: when do you get off?

ME: idk. gotta work a double shift

That was a lie. I only had to work the day
shift.

J: hit me up when ur done?

ME: bet

It wasn’t busy enough to lose myself in
cooking. Instead I had eight hours to think about my day and night
with J. That much time to think is never a good thing.

I got off work, showered, and hit the
library to study. I couldn’t study at home. Too many distractions.
The floorboards I’d been meaning to scrub would suddenly start
calling my name, and the homework was forgotten. Plus, I liked
being on campus. It helped keep me focused. Friday was my last
final exam and I would be done for the semester. I’d really enjoyed
the Intro to Anthropology class I took. The spring semester would
be another Anthro class and Algebra. I wasn’t looking forward to
Algebra. Numbers were never my thing unless it involved weights and
scales.

I decided to wait until nine as I was
heading home to text J.

ME: just got done. exhausted. hit u up
l8r?

J: k

Hmmm. Just ‘K’. I felt
relieved he wasn’t asking me when he could see me again, yet
disappointed at the same time. There was one question I hated
hearing from a man.
When can I see you
again?
It sent shivers down my spine, and
usually sent me into a panic. It made me feel like a guy was trying
to tie me down, force me to commit.
When
can I see you again?
Paranoid? Yeah, I was.
I knew it. Maybe this was karma for all the guys I avoided that
question with, because I was disappointed J didn’t push harder to
see me. Ain’t that a bitch.

On Wednesday, I was at the center
volunteering. Genesis was helping me in the kitchen again, as was
Fernie. I was pretty sure Fernie was only helping because Genesis
was. I could feel love in the air. At least Fernie was closer to
Genesis’s age at seventeen. Still a little old for a fifteen year
old, but really, who was I to judge? He wasn’t married, nor was he
forty. And I regretted that shit every day…

“
How was school?” I asked
them. It seemed like a harmless question, but apparently it wasn’t
by the look Genesis gave Fernie.

“
Fine,” Fernie said. Genesis
scowled. She had long, curly, black hair and dark eyes to match.
Those dark eyes were currently dilated to practically
black.

“
Yeah, I believe that.
Totally,” I told them both.

“
Fernie got suspended,”
Genesis announced.

“
Ay Genny. Callete la boca,”
Fernie responded, telling Genesis to shut up in Spanish.

“
What for?” I asked, putting
a tray of chicken nuggets in the oven. “Keep stirring the macaroni
Fernie. Genesis, can you put the plates and stuff out?”

Genesis left the kitchen and I did my best
to use a casual voice to ask Fernie again why he got suspended. I
was sure there was a story to be told, but if he would divulge it
was up in the air.

“
Someone put mota (weed) in
my locker and then tipped off the principal. It wasn’t mine, but no
one believed me.”

“
Why would they put weed in
your locker?”

“
No sé (I don’t know),” he
said, with a shoulder shrug. Being the queen of shoulder shrugs, I
knew there was more to the story, but I doubted he was going to
tell me. Fernie was a good kid and cute. I could see why Genesis
liked him. He towered over Genesis’s 5’1” stature, but he was still
barely eye to eye with me. He had some baby fat on him but I could
already tell it was starting to turn to muscle. His stocky frame
seemed to get more solid each time I saw him.

Fernie only came a few times my first month
at the center, but had been coming every week for the last month. I
think Genesis had something to do with it. Although well mannered,
I could tell he was skirting the edge of street life. He wasn’t a
choir boy that’s for sure, but I got the impression he was trying
to keep his shit clean. Maybe for himself, maybe for Genesis.

“
What are you going to do
when you graduate?”

“
No sé.”

“
What do you know?” I asked
him.

Fernie shot me a broad smile. “I know the
food got a lot better when you came around.”

“
Deflection. Do you know
what that means?” I got another shoulder shrug. “Changing the
subject cuz you don’t wanna talk about something. Trust me, I’m a
pro at deflecting, so you can’t fool me. But thanks for the
compliment.”

“
Why do you come here?”
Fernie’s question caught me off guard.

‘
What do you
mean?”

“
Well, you’re like all
guerrita, (white) so why are you coming to hang out with a bunch of
Mexicans?”

“
Well, I think Cielo is
Peruvian.” Cielo’s nationality was obviously of little consequence
to Fernie.

“
You know what I mean.”
Fernie stopped stirring and turned to look at me as if waiting for
an answer.

“
Keep stirring the
macaroni.”

“
Deflection?” Fernie looked
at me with an amused smile. Busted.

“
You got me,” I sighed. “I
came cuz I saw Penny’s flyer at school. I like my Spanish classes.
I thought this would help me.”

“
You’re in
school?”

“
Yeah.”

“
What for?”

How did I answer that? Honestly I guess. “I
don’t know yet. I just knew I needed to do something with my life.
I’ve worked at Applebee’s since I was sixteen. It’s ok, but I don’t
want to do it forever. I can only afford two classes at a time so
it’s going to take me a while to finish school. I have plenty of
time to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.”

“
You work at
Applebee’s?”

I rolled my eyes. You could tell a teenager
something ten times and they would still forget. I’d told Fernie at
least three times where I work. “Yep.”

“
So that’s why you can
cook?”

“
Yep.” He would undoubtedly
ask me again in a week or so where I worked.

“
Your guerrita parents don’t
pay for your school?” I could’ve taken his question as an insult,
but I didn’t. I’d heard the teens’ stories enough to know that the
white kids at their schools could be assholes. I knew he didn’t
mean it as an insult. It’s just the way things were in his life,
and for a lot of the other teens at the center.