Steel & Ice (5 page)

Chris grabbed my arm and leaned in to yell
over the music, “Dance?”

“
Fuck yeah!” I
replied.

She knew where I liked to dance. There was
no way you were getting me on that dance floor in the middle of the
room. It was too open, too exposed. I wasn’t trying to be seen by
anyone. I just wanted to let the music permeate my senses and move
my body. One of the things I loved most about Eight Oh Eight was
there were various nooks and corners where you could dance. My
favorite was by the DJ box. It was in the corner by the arch,
raised from the floor by three steps. It was small enough that only
twenty people could fit in the area surrounded by railing. The
railing was a nice place to sit or grind on your boyfriend, if you
had one. It also provided a wall of bodies around the area. People
dancing up here didn’t want to be seen like on the main floor.

I found a spot in the corner by the DJ and
the wall. I let the music take me away. Chris and I danced, feeling
it even more seeing one another get into the beat. I had a bad
habit of closing my eyes when I danced. I knew it was unsafe but
sometimes I couldn’t help it. I wanted to forget everything and
just be in that moment, on that dance floor, with that bass line
instructing my body how to move. It was a release of all the stress
and bullshit I had lived that week and every week of my life. Time
stood still when I closed my eyes and gave myself to the music. I
was deep into it when I felt a body behind me, causing me to tense
and stop moving.

“
Don’t stop,” a familiar
voice crooned into my ear. “You looked so sexy lost in the music
like that.”

I knew it was my giant hottie. I felt his
voice in between my legs when he whispered in my ear. He pushed his
hips against me and started moving to the beat. God, he felt good
and could move. I let him lead and closed my eyes. There was
something about him, his voice, the words we had exchanged earlier,
and his easy demeanor that put me at ease. Letting a man grind on
me from behind with my eyes closed made me feel vulnerable. I
didn’t give up control often, but it felt liberating having him
behind me, protecting me, moving with me. We swayed back and forth
to Wale’s Love Hate Thing. I leaned my head back onto his chest,
and reached one arm up to wrap around his neck. I put my other hand
over his that was on my hip.

Together we were lost in another realm,
where time had stopped, and we were no longer at Eight Oh Eight. We
were floating in space, just the two of us. There was no one else
dancing a foot away as far as I was concerned. In that moment,
nothing existed except me, the music, and this man. I gave myself
over to it all, letting everything else slide away except the
sublime weightlessness my mind and body were experiencing. I felt
his hand move under my shirt, and to the waist band of my jeans. I
groaned. It had been so long since a man touched me this sensually.
I opened my eyes for a moment to see he had moved us so we were
facing the wall by the DJ box, his back to the rest of the dancers.
I felt his hand slip down into my jeans. I tensed up again.

“
Close your eyes. I won’t
ever hurt you,” he murmured, pulling my ear lobe into his mouth,
sucking it between his teeth before letting go. I was about to tell
him everyone hurts everyone at some point when I felt his thumb on
my clit.

“
Fuck,” I moaned. Had anyone
ever touched me like this? Someone must have taught him these moves
because no man had ever rubbed my clit like this—perfect. He
slipped two fingers into me and moved them in a “come here” motion.
His thumb alternated between little circles and up and down while
his two fingers leisurely stroked my G-Spot. I fell into ecstasy,
making noises I prayed no one could hear over the music. I leaned
forward and then threw my head back onto his shoulder. Stars began
to emerge behind my closed eyes, and I felt myself start to pulse
around his fingers. As if reading my mind, he moved his other hand
from my hip and wrapped it underneath my breasts. I held on to his
arm and leaned forward as my legs gave out and my orgasm overtook
me. He held on to me as wave after wave of euphoria crashed through
my body. The music, his fingers inside me and on my clit, his mouth
kissing and licking on the back of my neck, the substances running
through my system… all of it made this one of the most intense
orgasms I could remember anyone giving me. Maybe if I thought hard
enough I could have thought of another experience as magnificent as
this, but I was beyond thought. I had gone totally carnal, giving
in to the extreme pleasure my body was feeling and forgetting where
I was or what I was doing.

I ebbed down from my orgasm, the beat
pounding in the club pulling me back to reality. I came to and felt
my legs again. They were still swaying to the music. My giant
hottie pulled a black bandana out of his pocket and wiped his
fingers off, then shoved the bandana back in his pocket. He spun me
around so we were face to face, or more correctly, face to chest.
God he was tall, even with me in four inch heels. I wrapped my arms
around his neck and he put his hands on my hips. We moved together
for the rest of the song. I held on to him, letting him lead. Our
bodies were in sync. I was sure I would have been unable to move
correctly without his strong body connected to mine. I was still
coming down from a high like I had never experienced. I could have
danced for hours.

Giant hottie leaned down, gripping my chin
with his hand and forcing me to look up into his onyx eyes. “I’ve
gotta go handle business baby.” I felt him moving to kiss me and
closed my eyes again. The kiss was slow and sensual as if he had
all the time in the world. As with dancing, he led and I just hung
on for the ride, letting his tongue explore the inside of my mouth.
Fuck dancing, I could have kissed him for hours! But he pulled
away, sucking my bottom lip, and caressing it with his tongue.
“Open your golden eyes.”

I opened them and peered into his black
eyes. “I’ll find you later,” he told me.

I could only nod as I stood
mesmerized watching his full lips move. As he stepped away, reality
sunk in, and a voice in my head screamed
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?
Did he
just get me off on the dance floor? The dance floor I had danced on
too many times to count? Did he Google that shit, because I never
had someone use one hand to make me see stars. He must have Googled
it. No way could he have known how to do it as good as me,
practically better. And where the fuck was Chris? Did she just see
all that happen? Holy fuck, I was freaking out. Reality didn’t
creep back, it hit me like a brick flying through a car
window.

I turned around and saw Chris talking to the
DJ, no doubt requesting songs. Chris was pretty good at getting her
songs played just by looking at a man over her long blond lashes.
It suddenly occurred to me that whole exchange between giant hottie
and I couldn’t have lasted more than five minutes. It made me
marvel at his dexterous skills all the more.

I grabbed Chris as she stepped down from the
DJ box. “I gotta piss girl,” I told her. More accurately, I needed
to tend to my drenched panties and smoke a cigarette.

“
Back bathroom? You got
another joint?”

“
Chris, I am high as fuck.
You ain’t?” I exclaimed, exasperated. Not at her, but at myself,
and him, and whatever the fuck just happened.

“
Whoa cowgirl.”

“
Let’s just go on the patio
and smoke for a second.” My need to tell her what happened with
less noise and a cigarette in my mouth trumped my wet panties. We
weaved through the people and I grabbed Chris when we passed the
bar. Each second I was changing my mind as to what I wanted to do
and where I wanted to go. My mind was whirling, and I decided my
panties and the cigarette could wait.

“
Two Incredible Hulks, a
Captain and Pineapple, and a vodka with Hypno,” I yelled to the
bartender.

“
First we’re pissing, then
we’re going outside to smoke, now we’re getting drinks AND shots.
Incredible Hulk shots? What’s going on, Elle?”

“
Girl, I don’t even know
where to start. You remember the giant hottie you cock blocked me
on at the bar?” I asked her while paying for the drinks. She gave
me a head nod coupled with an eye roll. I passed her one shot and
took the other. I clinked our glasses and told her just before
shooting mine, “He got me off on the dance floor.” I slammed my
shot glass on the bar, shaking my head in disgust. I chased it with
my vodka and Hypno, cooling the burn from the brown liquor going
down my throat. Chris just stared at me with her shot in her
hand.

“
Shoot that shit and let’s
go outside.” She knocked it back and grabbed my arm, dragging me
outside so fast I almost tripped on my heels.

The fresh air hit me and did wonders to
clear my clouded head. We both lit a cigarette and smoked in
silence for a second, me processing what had just happened, and her
still trying to sift through the shock her mind must’ve been
feeling.

“
OK, you gotta start from
jump cuz I can’t even comprehend what you just said, but I am
pretty sure I WANT to comprehend it.”

I took my glasses off and pinched the bridge
of my nose. “Girl, I don’t know where jump is. I was dancing with
my eyes closed—”

“
Fuck Elle, how many times
have I told you to keep your fucking eyes open? You’re a control
freak in every aspect of your life except on that damn dance floor
around a bunch of drunk and horny men!”

“
Shut the fuck up and
listen.” I put my glasses back on and began to pace in front of the
club. “I was dancing with my eyes closed to the new Wale track and
I felt him behind me. I fucking
smelled
him behind me. We moved with
the beat for a second, and next thing I know, his hand is down my
pants and I am coming all over his fingers. Fuck, this boy must of
stumbled across some Wikipedia article on how to make a girl nut
before the song is over cuz I was seein’ stars.”

“
Damn,” was all Chris could
say.

“
Yep.” We both stood in
silence finishing our cigarettes and drinks.

After what felt like hours, but was more
likely minutes, Chris asked, “What did he smell like?”

I looked up at her confused. “Uh, Aqua di
Gio. And wood. Or leather, or some natural smell that seemed at
odds with the fancy cologne.”

“
Well what do you want to
do? You wanna go find him?”

“
No, he said he had business
to take care of.”

“
Business?” Chris asked in
her
excuse me
tone. “What kind of business does he have at Eight Oh
Eight?”

“
I don’t know.” The dramatic
hand gestures were starting as I said this and continued as I told
Chris, “I was too busy having what might be the best orgasm ever on
the fucking dance floor, of a fucking club, to fucking stop to ask,
about his fucking business.” Each ‘fuck’ elicited a sweeping motion
from my hands.

“
Fuck, girl,” was all Chris
could say.

“
I’m not sure I even want to
go back inside,” I told her.

“
What?” Chris’ eyes bugged
out.

“
I don’t know. I’m trippin’.
Can we just bail and go home?” I pled with her.

“
You know I would do
anything for you—“

“
And I you,” I
interjected.

“
But make sure you are one
hundred percent positive you don’t want to go back in there. If I
just nutted to some Wale on the dance floor, I would be up in there
huntin’ mutha fucka down. You sure you wanna just bounce? Take two
seconds and at least think about it, cuz you can’t be yellin’ at me
tomorrow sayin’ I shoulda made you go back in.”

I felt a war inside me, my body pulling me
back in while my mind was desperate to get out of there and be
alone with my thoughts. I needed to sink into my head and process
what just happened, how he found me, how he remembered me from
Checks. Hell, I needed to figure out why I let him touch me at all.
I usually avoided physical contact with anyone outside of my tight
circle. Working in a tight space with a bunch of guys took me time
to get used to since it was inevitable we were going to bump each
other on a Friday night. Eventually, I adapted and they knew not to
touch me in any other way. I sure as hell never let a man I didn’t
know lay hands on me. Why did I just let this man touch me in the
most intimate way possible? In a public place nonetheless?

“
Nah girl. I gotta go. I
promise not to hold it against you. This one is on me. There’s no
way I can go back in there.” As promised, Chris acquiesced and
drove me home.

Chapter
3

Over the next few weeks my head was at
capacity. Between volunteering at the center, my classes, work, and
the giant hottie situation, I was in mental overload. It was times
like this I relished living alone. I often joked that I didn’t
cohabitate well. It was the truth though. It wasn’t just the quiet
I liked in order to sort my head out each day that I loved. It was
being able to be fully inside my head, not having to listen to
someone, process what they were saying, and then come up with a
response. My apartment was my haven where I could putz from room to
room lost in thought. I did a lot of that in those weeks after my
run in with giant hottie. Chris and I had been “exploring”
different bars and clubs the past few Saturdays. OK, let’s keep it
real. We weren’t exploring. I was avoiding.