Chapter Fifteen
I thought I had found a solution where nobody would get hurt.
These words haunted William over the next few days because he had too. Was it moral? No. But unlike his father, he wouldn’t need to maintain a lie for entire months. A handful of weeks shouldn’t be too difficult. He could be with Jason, and at the same time, try to give Kelly whatever he needed. When William left for the Coast Guard, the rest would sort itself out. Kelly would be forced to move on in his absence as they slowly grew apart, and Jason—maybe he could relocate to Connecticut. Be closer to where William was stationed so they could still see each other.
He was sitting on the bedroom carpet, pulling on his shoes, when the sheets behind him rustled.
“Going swimming today?” Kelly asked. “Give me a minute. I’ll take a quick shower.”
“Go back to sleep,” William said.
“Where are you going?”
“For a bike ride.”
“Training for this year’s triathlon?”
That sounded like a joke. He looked over his shoulder to see Kelly snug in bed, a twinkle in his eye. Handsome as ever and probably amorous, but he knew if he stuck around, a foul mood would appear. “I won’t be long. It’s Sunday. Go back to sleep.”
Kelly yawned, nuzzling his head against the pillow. Then he closed his eyes. William thought back to the first time he had seen Kelly sleeping. He had woken up in the middle of the night, confused about where he was because Kelly had taken him in, listened to him agonize over his parents’ divorce, then done his best to make William’s first time special. Despite how messed up everything was, that night had been perfect, and when he lay next to Kelly and watched him sleep, he swore they would be together forever.
“Hurry back,” Kelly murmured. “I miss you already.”
“I miss you too,” William said, the truth of the words making his throat ache. What they once had together had been real. Even if it hadn’t lasted. He missed the guy he had fallen in love with. William rose, quietly made his exit, and padded through a silent house. Taking a deep breath once he was outside, he went around to the side where he kept his bike. The garage door made too much noise, so he had planned ahead, knowing what he wanted from this morning.
Doubt took a swing at him regardless. As William pedaled his way toward Jason’s house, the same cyclical debates went round and round his mind. He should leave Kelly, but he couldn’t, but he would anyway, just not like that, but no matter what he couldn’t have Jason. Oh yeah? Well fuck you everything ever! He was sick of being miserable! Like a fox stuck in a bear trap, he’d rather gnaw off his own leg than remain captive any longer. He needed this.
Needed
. Not just wanted or desired. William pushed himself, dodging traffic, hunching closer to his bike when the first hill appeared. Nothing would stop him.
And yet, when he reached the entrance to the long drive, he did stop. What he planned to do couldn’t be undone. He wouldn’t be able to take it back. Going through with this would change everything, even if Kelly never found out, because William was compromising his integrity. He would be one of
those
people. Like his father. He had spent so long shaking his head in judgment, and yet here he was, about to commit the same transgression. He should leave, return home, and focus on Kelly until it was time to go. That would be the decent thing.
“What are you doing here?”
William turned at the sound of that voice, saw the unadulterated joy in Jason’s eyes, and all doubt evaporated. He swung a leg over his bike, letting it clatter to the ground. William placed a hand on each of Jason’s shoulders, squeezing because it felt so damn good to touch him, to have this tiny moment for them alone. “I told him I wanted to bike today instead of swim. I don’t have long.”
Jason scrunched up his nose, not understanding. “Then why are you down here instead of at the house?”
“I was trying to decide if I was going to do it or not.”
Jason’s lips twitched happily. “Do what?”
“This.”
Then they were kissing, but not an innocent peck, nor was it the only part of them that touched. Jason’s hands moved up his back, clutched at his hair. William responded by wrapping his arms around him like a python, not ever wanting to let go, because the situation might be fucked up, but this… this was
right
. He pulled back to look, cupping Jason’s head in his hands. He was so damn cute! William was torn between wanting to stare at him and kiss him again. He settled for a quick smooch, but Jason leaned forward as he tried to back away, demanding more. William was all too glad to comply. Eventually he felt lightheaded from lack of oxygen.
“Okay!” William said, placing a hand on Jason’s chest to hold him back. “Holy shit… That felt even better than in my fantasies.”
“You’ve been fantasizing about me?”
“You have no idea!”
Jason’s expression became conflicted. “Did something happen?”
“Nothing has changed,” William said. “Sorry. I guess I should have told you first, but I think maybe you’re right. Until we figure out something better, we just… uh…”
Jason grinned. “Have a sultry affair.”
William grimaced. “I hate how that sounds.”
“A sweet affair then,” Jason said, making doe eyes at him. “I’m okay with that. I hated the last few days—not being able to be alone with you.”
“It’s only going to get tougher to see each other.” William looked down the street, almost expecting to discover Kelly there. “Like I said, I can’t stay right now.”
“Come back later,” Jason offered. “Or I’ll sneak over to your place. You guys don’t spend every night together, do you?”
William frowned.
Jason was aghast. “You do? Even on school nights?”
“I never thought I’d say this, but unfortunately, I have very liberal parents. He does too. I took care of him when he was recovering, and that meant us staying together, even at night. Somehow that became the norm.”
“Lucky bastard,” Jason said, shaking his head. “What are we going to do?”
William smiled at him. “You’re a clever boy. I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
“Your mom’s house. Make an excuse to go over there, and I’ll meet you.”
William chewed his lip and thought about it. “She gets off work before school is out. I don’t mind introducing you to her, but she’s always so glad to see me these days. Like I said, I’m not home much. It’ll be weird if I show up and insist on privacy.”
“But we dropped you off there after Bonnie’s recital. You must spend the night there sometimes.”
“Not since Kelly has been on the warpath.”
“Skip school.”
“I share most classes with him. He’ll notice.”
Jason growled. “Then call me when he goes to sleep, and I’ll break into his damn house!”
“He’s a light sleeper.”
“You aren’t making this easy!”
They shared the same frustration, that much was clear. “You’ll figure it out, and when you do, I’ll make it worth your while.”
Jason grabbed his hand and tugged on it. “Come inside. Tim is home, but he’s cool. He won’t care.”
“Your boyfriend is home?” William said, pretending to be scandalized.
“Ha ha. I’m serious. Let’s go.”
William laughed. “I can’t stay!”
“Five minutes! I swear that’s all it will take.”
“I want way more than that. Come here.”
Jason complied, pressing against him and making the most of the kiss. Once they parted ways, William waited for doubt to return, for the same debates to march across the battlefield of his mind. As he biked toward the city, the certainty never faded. What he was doing might be wrong, but somehow, it was also right.
* * * * *
Very little separated clever from crazy. William was starting to think Jason leaned in one direction more than the other. He had come up with a plan, which is why William was currently making the rounds in a crowded ballroom, wearing nothing from the waist up but a bow tie. The palatial home belonged to Marcello, who apparently liked to host fundraisers so much that his house included a ballroom. What shirtless waiters had to do with donating to charity had baffled him, but not once he was officially on duty. Then he understood. Most of the guests were older, successful, and gay. They certainly didn’t mind letting their eyes wander. All for a good cause, William kept telling himself, but he wasn’t really thinking of charity. The real goal was to earn time alone. With Jason.
“This is nuts.” Jason paused next to him, equally underdressed and overwhelmed. He balanced an empty tray in one hand. “You doing okay?”
“Yeah,” William said, looking him over hungrily. Better than okay! The past week had been great. That first kiss had carried him to the next day and each that followed. They were forced to hide in Jason’s car during work breaks, and William had once snuck over to the pet store where they made out to an audience of exotic birds. He had nearly suggested they make use of one of the restroom stalls at the mall, but then Jason revealed his plan.
William hopped from foot to foot, nearly dropping his tray. “How much longer?”
“Until the shut-in?” Jason got the attention of one of the guests, asking him the time. “Ten more minutes. Better make an appearance.”
William nodded. “Right.”
The shut-in. Soon the festivities would grind to a halt, and he, Jason, and the other waiters would be sent away and the ballroom locked. Everyone remaining would watch films about the charities they were asked to support. Donations would be collected, and at the end of the hour, the doors would open again, food and drink pouring back in to reward everyone. The idea was fun, but what really mattered were those locked doors. A fire marshal was on hand to make sure everything met safety standards. The whole affair was pretty official, which hopefully meant it didn’t look like a ruse.
William returned to where he’d left Kelly, who could have given any of these waiters a run for their money. Except maybe Tim. Finding him in the crowd wasn’t difficult. William only had to look for where the largest number of guests were gathered around someone. Tim was playing waiter too, and was apparently experienced in doing so. Seeing his bare torso on display, a blue metallic bow tie shining against dark Latino skin, only increased William’s appetite. As hot as Tim was, Kelly managed to turn heads while fully dressed. Anyone would think William was crazy for breaking up with a guy like that. Then again, this wasn’t about who was hottest, but who he felt the most for. Jason, despite all his imperfections, drove William wild. Even just looking at him was enough to cause a reaction. And to think, in mere minutes they would… He forced the image from his mind and approached Kelly. He was sitting alone at a table, just as tense as he’d been when William first mentioned the fundraiser, predictably insisting on tagging along.
Trying his best to cheer him up, William sauntered over and bent to offer Kelly an
hors d'oeuvre
, making upbeat conversation. None of this was forced. William had been in a great mood all week. That had everything to do with Jason, but Kelly was benefitting too. William felt reenergized, able to handle bad moods, slights from Mrs. Phillips, and lack of privacy or personal time. So much was easy now, thanks to a single star that burned brightly for him alone.
“Your attention please!”
Marcello had taken the stage, dressed in a white tuxedo and looking every bit the ringmaster. “As you all know, the intent of this little soirée tonight is to benefit those who are unable to leave their homes, be it due to illness or other unfortunate circumstances. In order to understand how that feels, let’s bravely go an hour without food, drink, or charming company. I’m going to ask all my waiting staff to kindly leave the room. As they go, please place any remaining beverages on their trays.”
The time had finally come. William went rigid, taking the tray from the table. “Sorry. You’ll have to finish these later.”
He could feel Kelly watching him, and braced himself for an argument or protests as he adjusted his balance, scarcely believing his luck when silence reigned. “See you soon.”
He hurried for the door, wanting to search the crowd for Jason but not allowing himself. Once safely in the kitchen, he found Jason looking repulsed. William followed his gaze and saw a waiter draining half-empty champagne glasses by chugging the contents down.
William snuck over to him and whispered, “That’s one way of doing the dishes.”
Jason turned in surprise, expression affectionate. Then he seemed to remember something and pulled out a piece of paper.
“Where are we going?” William asked, leaning over his shoulder to look. His chest touched the bare skin of Jason’s back. They definitely needed some privacy or the other waiters were going to get one hell of a show!
Jason consulted the paper, a crude drawing of a floor plan on it. A giant black X marked one area, a description beneath, which he read out loud. “To a ‘love nest.’”
“Let’s hurry,” William said, grabbing his arm. “I want the entire hour alone with you.”
The house was a virtual maze. Jason stopped repeatedly to check the map. William was about to suggest they choose any of the rooms and lock the door when Jason turned the paper forty-five degrees and seemed to understand it better. Then he rushed forward, leading them through a spacious bathroom to another door.