Social Skills (30 page)

“I
mean…uh, sorry for interrupting. I’ll just be…reading out in the common room,
if anyone needs me.”

He
ducked away as Jared burst into laughter.

Laughter.
Jared
had just been caught kissing a boy and he was
laughing it off
. Connor channeled the wild elation into his own
giggles, and he smothered them in Jared’s chest.

“I
bet he’ll be gone for a while.” Jared’s skin radiated even more warmth now that
Connor had trapped his breath against it. “Although I guess we should work out
some sort of sock on the door system.” He pulled Connor toward the bed and they
settled in, lying on the same pillow so they were eye to eye. “Or we could just
stick to your place.”

“I…I
don’t mind coming over here sometimes. It’s closer to campus, and you won’t
have your car as much now that we don’t have to…I mean, now that Veronica’s
going home.”

“Yeah.”
Jared wrapped a leg around Connor’s thighs to pull their hips close. “Guess you’ll
be glad when things get back to normal.”

Normal.
Connor’s heart lurched. There was that sticky word again.

The
last time Jared had used it, he’d meant
straight
. Just what did he
consider normal? Would his new life, would their relationship, ever be normal
to him? Would it ever be what he really wanted?

The
question came unbidden to Connor’s lips. “Jared…if…if you could have the
perfect life, right now, what would it be?”

Jared
didn’t hesitate. “It’d be one where my father was still alive.”

The
response hit Connor in the gut, forcing out a rapid exhale.
Idiot, thinking
the world revolves around you…

But
Jared stroked his cheek with his index finger, a gentle smile still in place. “It’s
okay, baby. I know what you meant. Look…for a long time, I didn’t know what I
wanted. I took a stab at a few things that didn’t turn out that great, and
tried some other things that ended up better than I ever could have hoped. I’ll
let you figure out which category you fall under.”

A
timid grin found its way to Connor’s lips.

“And
there’s something else I’ve been meaning to tell you.” Jared’s eyes grew darker,
his pupils widening into the ring of deep brown. “I thought I knew it before,
but after everything you’ve done for me in the past few weeks…well, there’s
just no denying it now.”

Connor
drew in a breath and held it, his body humming under Jared’s touch.

This
was it—the moment he’d been waiting for. He could sense it in the air, in
Jared’s chest as it moved against his, in the serenades that spontaneously
burst into his head. Jared was warm and happy and everything was perfect, just
as it should be for something as important as hearing those three all-powerful
words.

Eyes
fluttering closed, Jared sank into his mouth. Connor deepened the kiss, torn
between holding onto his lips indefinitely and releasing them so he could hear
what Jared had to say.

But
they ended up pulling away from each other simultaneously—although not
fast enough—as the door swung open. The tail end of Ben’s “Mrs. B, wait!”
drifted into the room and Connor looked up to see a middle-aged woman with
dark, curly hair holding a Tupperware container full of brownies.

“Oh!”
she exclaimed, red-faced, then backed up and slammed the door shut again.

Chapter Twenty-eight

Jared
sat up. A shudder rippled through his body.

“Jared?”
Connor choked out through a rising wave of tears. Why did everything have to
keep falling apart? And why
now
? Just when Jared was about to…

He
furiously squashed the selfish thought.

“F-fuck,”
Jared stuttered. His chest rose and fell unevenly as he gulped in each
breath—the kind of breathing that led to crying. And not just a little
watery eye, but full-on sobs.

“Jared,”
Connor said again. His voice broke and his vision blurred. “Jared, please don’t
cry.”

The
door flew open.

“Jared!”
the woman exclaimed as she dashed in. “It’s all right!”

Connor
flew back against the footboard, getting out of the way just in time for her to
throw her Tupperware onto the bed and pull Jared into her arms.

“Don’t
cry, sweetheart, don’t cry.”

Jared
blinked a few times from where she was forcing his head to rest against her
shoulder.

“Jared.”
She stroked his back. “Jared, I already knew. That’s why I came. Veronica’s
mother couldn’t keep her big mouth shut. I’m so sorry you felt you had to hide
this from me, baby.”

Jared
crumpled further into her embrace, and despite his mother’s demands to the
contrary, several tears slipped out. He tried to speak, getting out a garbled, “I’m
sorry, Mom, I’m sorry,” before she shushed him again.

Connor
watched mother and son for a few seconds, but the
intruder
feeling was just too much to handle. Besides, Jared
probably wouldn’t want to be seen in such a vulnerable state. He quietly slid
off the bed and out the still-open door.

Ben
was sitting on the couch in the common room with his head in his hands. “I’m so
fucking sorry, dude.” He glanced up as Connor entered. “I really tried to stop
her. I said he was at the library, but she had those stupid brownies and she
just had to put them away in our room…” He tugged at a string from the frayed
knee of his jeans, ripping a hole. “Jesus, I’m sorry.

Connor
exhaled slowly, sinking onto the couch because his legs probably weren’t going
to support his weight much longer. “Actually, it’s…it’s all right, I think.”

“Really?”
Ben asked, a touch of relief easing the ridge between his brows. “I’m pretty
sure my dad would throw a shit fit if I were a…if I were gay.”

Connor
nodded, eyeing the door to freedom that was just past Ben. He didn’t have the
energy for conversing, but he couldn’t leave without making sure Jared was okay
first. He wouldn’t allow himself to be that much of a coward.

“So…”
Ben said. He slapped his hands on his thighs and looked around at every corner
of the room.

If
he was trying to keep the conversation from dying, he was failing…and Connor
wasn’t going to be of much help. He drew his usual blank on anything useful to
say and resorted to nodding.

“So…uh…”
Ben tried again. “You gonna stick around?”

“Um,
I thought maybe I should.”

“Yeah.”
Ben leaned forward on his elbows. “Jared might need moral support, or whatever.”
He grimaced. “Is he…is he actually crying?”

“Like
you’ve never cried in your life,” Connor muttered under his breath.

But
the words weren’t as quiet as he’d intended. Ben’s hands shot up defensively. “Nah,
man, no judgment, no judgment. I just mean, you should stick around if he’s…you
know…that messed up. You’d probably have a better handle on how to help him
with that…
emotional
stuff.”

“Why?”
Connor frowned. “Because I’m gay?”

“No,
because you’re his…his, uh…”

“Boyfriend,”
Connor supplied, and Ben cringed.

“Um,
yeah, whatever. You know. Hey, do you wanna play some video games?” He grabbed
the controllers on the shelf next to the large TV and waved them around.

A convenient
change in topic—but Connor was thankful for the shift as well. “I dunno…I
kinda suck at them.”

Ben
tossed him the controller anyway. “I know. Jared told me.”

Connor
let it fall in his lap, a flash of embarrassment warming his skin. But as
quickly as the feeling came, it was gone, replaced by a much more pleasurable
thought: Jared was
talking
about him to his friends…and even if it was
about his shortcomings, it had to be a good sign. They were a part of each
other’s lives now.

He
grinned and set his eyes on the TV screen. “I guess I can only go up from here.”

Hopeful
words, but he managed to last only a minute longer than he had in his previous
attempt. He scowled and bit down on the tip of his tongue in frustration.

“Man,
Jared was not exaggerating about how much you suck at this,” Ben remarked.

“I’m
trying to shoot.” Connor flopped back on the couch. “But when I hit the button
it doesn’t happen fast enough.”

“You
sorta need to anticipate, you know. Develop faster reflexes and all. And aiming
wouldn’t hurt.”

“I
might be too old to learn new tricks.”

Ben
chuckled and stood up to place the controllers back on the shelf. Then he sat
down across from Connor, tilting his head to observe him. “I think maybe I’m
starting to get it now.”

“Huh?
Get…what?”

“I
dunno. The whole thing. At first I just couldn’t wrap my head around it. Jared…being
gay. I mean, he’s like…such a guy, you know?”

Connor’s
brows rose.
Yes, I’m aware of that.

“And
then you and him…that just seemed even weirder. I mean he’s…and you’re…but like
I said, I think I’m starting to get it.”

“Uh,
that’s good, I guess.” Connor licked his lips nervously. Maybe he’d be better
off waiting outside.

“Yeah,
it’s like how guys like different types of girls, right? Like, some like the
sexy types, with the pouty lips and the big breasts, some like the peppy,
bubbly, cheerleader types…and hell, you wouldn’t know it by looking at him, but
Will prefers his women extra-curvy, if ya know what I mean.”

“Um…okay.”

“I
think maybe Jared and I have similar tastes after all. I like the cute
types—they usually tend to be the nice ones.”

Connor
blinked as Ben’s words gradually sank in. “Are…are you saying you think I’m
cute?”

Ben’s
eyes went wide, and he smacked his palm into his face to cover them up. “Oh my
God. This is the gayest conversation I’ve ever had in my life.”

A
fit of giggles seized Connor, but the laughter died seconds later, as Jared’s
mother was suddenly in the room and headed straight for him. Jared followed a
few feet behind.

Connor
dug his hands deep into the couch cushion and closed them into fists.
Breathe. In and out.
If he could keep
that going, and ignore the way his skin prickled with the telltale hot and cold
of his anxiety…then maybe he stood a chance of not dissolving into a heap of
quivering nerves.

“Connor,”
she said gently, and he forced himself to look up. She tried unsuccessfully to
wipe the smears of mascara from around her red eyes. “I hope we can meet again
soon. I have to get back to my other boys tonight, but I’d really like to come
down another day when I have some more time. Maybe we could all go out to lunch
together.” She held his gaze as she waited for a response.

Now
he just needed to speak. With words. “Um, y-yeah. Th-that sounds…good,” he
replied softly.

She
smiled. It was sort of like Jared’s wide smile, except a few of her teeth were
crooked. Maybe Jared had had braces when he was younger?

The
spurt of random thoughts faded as she turned to direct her attention to Ben.
Thank God
.

“And
you too, of course, Ben.”

“Yeah,
thanks Mrs. B.” He ran a hand through his hair with a sheepish grin.

She walked
back a few steps to hug Jared and whisper something in his ear that made him
smile, then waved goodbye and left the suite.

Jared
slipped into his room.

“That’s
your cue, man,” Ben prompted.

Jared
sat on the bed, his back against the wall and his head bent toward the ceiling.
His eyes were closed but he opened them briefly as Connor climbed in next to
him.

“You
must think I’m pretty stupid,” he mumbled.

“For
what?” Connor pulled on his arm, trying to get him to look over.

Jared
scoffed and kept his face averted. “For being afraid to tell her. I mean, I
never thought she was going to disown me or anything. She’s not like that. But
I still didn’t want her to know.”

“It’s
okay. I understand.”

“I just
didn’t want her to worry, you know?” Jared went on as if he hadn’t heard—like
he was arguing with someone. Maybe with himself. “She’s had enough to worry
about. Losing my dad…raising three boys as a single mother…I think maybe I just
got so caught up in the idea of being the man of the house—”

“Just
because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re any less of a man.”

Jared
clamped his mouth shut, rolling his head toward Connor and opening his eyes. “Yeah.
I’m starting to get that. Guess I’m a slow learner.”

“I’ve
never thought you were stupid, Jared.”

A glossy
sheen deepened the brown of Jared’s irises. “You know, Connor…you’re the best
friend I’ve ever had.”

Connor
slipped his hand around Jared’s waist, a lump of emotion gathering in his
throat. “Just a friend?”

“You
know what I mean.” Jared rolled his eyes.

“I
do, but I like to hear you say it.”

“Fine.”
Jared dragged him over and wrapped him in his arms. “Boyfriend. You’re my
boyfriend. The best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

Connor
smiled into Jared’s chest, and the last of the tension drained away. Drowsy
from the emotional upheaval, his eyes closed and the weight of his head dropped
against Jared’s shoulder.

But
Jared wouldn’t let him rest. He cupped Connor’s face in rough hands, sucking on
his bottom lip and gently swiping his mouth with a warm tongue. They arranged themselves
on the bed and Jared’s fingers began creeping their way down to Connor’s pants.

For
the third time that evening, the door interrupted them.

“I’m
not looking,” Ben announced, one hand firmly over his eyes. “Just need my
laptop.” He floundered around with his other hand until he grasped it on his
desk, then backed out of the room with exaggerated tiptoe steps.

Jared
blew out a long, strained breath. “Hey, uh…do you think I could spend the night
at your place? And not ’cause I’m still freaked out about my mom, or anything. I’d
just…like to be with you.”

Connor
jumped up and tugged at Jared with both hands. He might not have had the
strength to move him, but it got his point across. “Let’s go now.”

***

The
sound of Connor’s door locking signaled a tempo change—from a slow and
sleepy passion to a fumbling, frantic pace. Connor tore at Jared’s shirt, fighting
to pull it up and getting blocked every two seconds by Jared’s persistent kisses.

“Why
haven’t we done this lately?” Jared murmured into his lips.

“Dunno,”
Connor responded, more focused on the pesky shirt. He wasn’t quite tall enough
to get it all the way off.

Jared
took over while Connor tackled the buttons of his jeans. “Well let’s just do
this more often from now on.”

Jared’s
pants and boxers became a puddle on the floor, and Connor lifted his arms so
Jared could remove his t-shirt. “Mhm. More often,” he mumbled through the
fabric.

When
they were both naked, Jared hoisted him up, wrapping Connor’s thighs around his
waist to carry him to the bed. He held him there for a while, burrowing his
face into Connor’s neck and nipping at his skin. But the beat of Connor’s heart
was up to
vivace
by now, and he was
ready for more. He fidgeted in Jared’s arms and was promptly deposited on the
bed.

Jared
stood back for a second and watched him squirm. That wasn’t at all helpful, so
Connor reached up and clawed at him, forcing him to climb on top. He waited
impatiently until they were close enough for him to plunge his tongue into
Jared’s mouth. His hands closed around Jared’s shoulders, and after several
long kisses, he used the grip to help him thrust toward Jared’s hips…and only
just barely grazed his groin.

Frustrated,
Connor tried again. Why was there no connection there? Why was Jared holding
himself like a plank instead of sinking into the willing body below him? There
were only a few inches of space between Connor and the contact he craved, but
it might as well have been a thousand feet.

He
opened his eyes and found Jared studying him.

“What’s
wrong?”

Jared
didn’t respond. He stood and walked across the room to grab something from the
desk drawer—all the answer needed.