Since He Really Feels (He Feels) (23 page)

“If he’s still here,
and if you want to talk to him and clear the air, just go tonight and just be done with it.”

I glanced over at him. “Has this been on your mind?” I asked.

His eyes didn’t leave the road. “I feel like things are better between us, but I don’t want you hurting, baby. I know it’s hard for you to give up something so important to you, and I just want to make sure you’re okay with it. I want you to have the closure you need.”

I rested my hand over his on my leg. “Thanks, Nick,” I murmured. I briefly wondered if he was still considering my request to allow Travis to stand up in our wedding. I highly doubted it.

I pulled out my phone and texted Travis.
Are you still in town?

His reply was nearly immediate.
Nope. Back in CA. Why?

Just wanted to talk.
It can wait.

We’re thinking about coming back in a few weeks for Parker’s birthday. I’ll text you.
Everything okay?

I smiled. Everything
was
okay.

Yes. Thanks for listening the other night, and I’m sorry again for being an idiot. Nick and I are better than ever.

One last text came through from Travis: 
Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you when we are in town.

I thought about the “we” in his text. He was part of a “we” now with Lindsay. He and I would never be a “we” again. And looking at my handsome fiancé in the driver’s seat, I realized that I was okay with that.

CHAPTER 25

NICK MATTHEWS

The meeting I had scheduled the next afternoon
was with the man who I didn’t recognize from the engagement party. It had been in the forefront of my mind for the past three days, ever since I had made the appointment to meet with him.

He had approached me again, later in the evening, after the fiasco with my mother, and handed me his business card, telling me to call his secretary to schedule an appointment. I thanked him and shoved it in my pocket, and I didn’t look at it again until later that night, after Julianne had left and I was alone and brooding. I emptied my pockets before changing out of my pants, and I saw the card in there. Suddenly curious as to
who the man was, I had looked at the card and saw the name Jack Miller. I assumed he had some relationship to Travis, but I still didn’t know what the relationship was until I read the business on the card: Miller Designs. Turns out Jack Miller was Travis’s father – the man who owned Miller Designs.

I couldn’t possibly imagine what he wanted with me, but he had piqued my curiosity.

I was about ten minutes early for my meeting. As I sat waiting in the reception area, I could feel the receptionist’s eyes on me. I refused to glance up from the portfolio I’d brought with me; I was engaged to the world’s most beautiful woman and didn’t have eyes for anybody else.

Jack came into the reception area to greet me, and I stood and shook his hand. He was a friendly looking guy, but I could also sense that he was cutthroat when he needed to be. You just didn’t get to be as successful as he was by being nice.

He led me back to his office and motioned for me to take a seat.

“So, Mr. Matthews, I’ll get right down to business. Julianne is like another daughter to me. I trust you’ll take care of her?”

That’s why he invited me here? To give me fatherly advice regarding his pseudo daughter? “Of course, sir. I love her and am committed to making her happy for the rest of her life.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear. I don’t get involved in the affairs of my children, but I do take care of them. And if you’re marrying a girl that’s like a daughter to
me, that means you’ll be part of my extended family, too.”

“Thank you, Mr. Miller.”

“Jack,” he said.

I nodded, suddenly feeling nervous about where he was going with this.

“Do you recall me asking you how you felt about starting your own company?”

I nodded. In fact, I had recalled the conversation several times since it had happened.

“I’ve heard rumors that BKG is starting to suffer financially. Do you know anything about that?”

“I don’t,” I said, but that wasn’t entirely true. I’d heard
some rumors, too, but I figured they were just that: rumors. I hadn’t heard anything concrete from any sources that mattered, so I went on with business as usual. It was too daunting a thought that I’d made a mistake in switching over to BKG and bringing Julianne with me. Financially, we’d be fine; but it wasn’t always just about finances. Our careers contributed to our livelihood, and the thought that we could both lose our jobs was unsettling.

He watched me as if assessing my honesty. I had to force myself not to fidget uncomfortably under his scrutiny. Finally, he nodded ever so slightly, and then he continued, completely changing the subject. “Miller Designs needs a makeover.” His one sentence was abrupt.

“I’m sorry?” I said, not sure I’d heard him correctly.

He was calm and cool as he spoke, and I admired his tenacity and his professionalism. I’d worked with far too many young men who didn’t have the professionalism part down yet, and I hated to see them shooting the shit or shuffling papers or acting immaturely. I knew I was dealing with a genuine expert here, and I was instantly more attentive to what he was saying simply because of his poised and confident demeanor.

“I haven’t told this to anyone aside from my wife yet, but I’m retiring before the end of the year. I want to make sure Miller Designs has a facelift before I go. We need all new marketing and new branding, but I don’t want to get involved with a company rumored to be going under. I want to work with you, Mr. Matthews, and I want Julianne involved in this because she knows a lot about this company already. She knows my style. And not only that, but she knows a lot about the man I’m planning to promote when I leave. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

I nodded as everything clicked into place. He wanted me to head up marketing
at his company by rebranding and giving the company a new look, but he didn’t want to hire me through BKG. He wanted Julianne involved because he was going to ask his son to take over the company, and Julianne knew Travis almost as well as Travis knew himself.

He continued. “I want you to realize that this won’t be a one-and-done. I need a marketing team for various projects that I have, but I want to start with the branding make-over. I want a consultant that I can go to with fresh ideas, and I’ve seen your work, Matthews. It’s impressive. It’s
original and creative, and the consultants I’ve worked with in the past are becoming tired and outdated. Essentially I’m asking you to leave BKG, start your own company, and allow me to hire you as a full-time consultant.”

This was the opportunity of a lifetime. It was the chance to open a business of my own, something that had been my lifelong dream. Miller Designs was a big fish. Bigger than a big fish.
A fucking whale.

This
opportunity could launch my career in a new direction that was guaranteed to be successful. This could get my own company off the ground and move me into direct competition with companies like BKG and McMillan.

But
it threw a huge wrench in my personal life.

He wasn’t doing this for me. He couldn’t; certainly not after the way Julianne had chosen me over his son. He was doing this because he loved Julianne like a daughter and because he wanted to ensure that she was taken care of, particularly if BKG was rumored to be going under. And apparently he had seen my work and was confident that I was good enough to run a successful business on my own.

I just sat there, stupidly silent as I considered his offer. It was an amazing offer, but I had literally just convinced Julianne that as a team, we were better off with Travis out of our lives. This would be me bringing him directly back in and giving Julianne an opening to see him and work alongside him on a daily basis.

Before I had a chance to form a thought coherent enough to voice, Jack spoke again. “I’ll remind you that I haven’t told anyone about this yet, my son included. I’d like to give you a week or so to consider my offer. I’ve drawn up a draft of a contract that is certainly negotiable. Read it over and set up an appointment with me for mid-next week.” He
slid a manila envelope across the desk and stood up.

I stood, too, and he made his way around the desk. I shook his hand. “Thank you for the offer. You have certainly given me a lot to think about,” I said.

“I hope you’ll take it seriously,” he said, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “I’ve heard nothing but spectacular things about your professionalism and your work, and I know that both you and my son can cast aside any personal differences you have so that the two of you can work together.”

That line almost sold me on it, but I had more than just myself to consider. I’d just started working at a company that had given me a massive raise, an opulent office, and an incredible opportunity.
According to Jack Miller, BKG was in financial trouble. But aside from that, I also had Julianne to consider. I couldn’t begin to imagine how she would deal with this or how it would affect our relationship.

CHAPTER 26

JULIANNE BECKER

I sensed Nick pulling away from me, and I wasn’t sure how to get him back.

Just when everything seemed to be back on track between the two of us, I found myself at home alone while he worked late on Wednesday night. I wasn’t sure if he was immersing himself in work to get away from me or if it was because he actually had that much work to do. Whatever the case, I missed him and I missed the progress we had made.

He had texted me to let me know to go ahead with dinner without him. I knew he had some meeting to go to toward the end of the day, but I wasn’t sure who it was with or what it was all about. I tended not to ask work related questions since we worked together, but I was definitely curious. All I knew was that he didn’t get home until after 10:00, and he wasn’t in a chatting mood when he arrived. He showered and went right to bed while I sat there and wondered where I had gone wrong and wishing for the warmth and intimacy we’d finally gotten back.

I hung my hopes on the weekend. I hoped that it would just be time spent together since that had been seriously lacking.

I hardly saw him at work on Thursday, and he put in another late night, arriving home a little before 9:30.

Eric and Josh were both out, presumably with their women, so I was sitting in our family room reading a book when he walked in. I held my finger on the page I was reading and closed my book. 

“Hey,” I smiled, trying to paste on a genuine look of support. “How was work today?” I asked.

He smiled.
“Fine.” He planted a kiss on my forehead.

“
Good,” I said, tilting my head back for a kiss on my lips. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to my lips, pulling back, but I was quicker than him, ditching my book next to me on the couch and wrapping my hand around the back of his head, opening my lips to his. He groaned into me, and I knew that he had missed our connection as much as I had.

He pulled away.

What. The. Fuck?

“I have to get some things ready for tomorrow,” he said. He
managed an apologetic look aimed in my direction.

“Why do you keep pulling away from me?” I finally voiced the question that had been in my mind for the past two days.

“I’m not, baby. I’m just really busy with work.”

He averted his eyes as he spoke, so I had a feeling he wasn’t telling me the whole truth. I had a feeling that he was either keeping something from me or he was lying to me, but after the fragile pieces of our relationship had just been glued back together, I wasn’t ready to push the issue.

“Okay,” I said, not bothering to hide the hurt in my tone.

“Okay?” he asked.

I sighed. “No. It’s not okay.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“I want you to tell me what’s been keeping you at work so late the past two nights.”

It was his turn to sigh. “It’s just a bunch of different things that I can’t talk about.”

“Even with me?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“Fine,” I said, picking my book back up and turning my attention away from him.

“Don’t be like that,” he
said, his voice a warning.

“Like what, Nick? You won’t talk to
me, you’re pulling away from me just after we got things back on track. I don’t know what to think anymore.”

He was quiet, studying me. “I’m sorry,” he finally whispered. “I’m just dealing with a lot of shit at work right now, and I wish I could share it with you, but I can’t. Not yet.”