Shelter You (10 page)

He comes up behind me, reaching over me to put the glasses in the sink but doesn’t move away. I clutch the sponge in my hand for dear life, the proximity of our bodies causes my breath to hitch, and a rush of warmth floods my belly causing butterflies to take flight. Logan’s left hand rests on the edge of the sink and his right grazes my hips, initiating a whole slew of sensations that I’ve never felt before.

“Mia,” he says softly. If he were to move another inch his lips would be touching my ear. “Sarah is my sister’s best friend, she’s
my
friend, there’s nothing between us.”

I shrug at his response, feigning disinterest but secretly elated by his answer to my hidden question. “It’s really none of my business.”

He turns the water off and takes the sponge out of my hand, tossing it back into the sink. His hand on my hip pulls at me, guiding my body to turn around until we’re standing face to face and inappropriately close. “So you wouldn’t care if I told you that I
did
have a relationship with Sarah?”

“Why would I care, Logan?” I ask, averting my gaze.

“Look at me, Mia.” I do as he asks, our gazes lock but neither of us makes a move, our bodies are frozen trying to comprehend the electric charge between us.

“Did you?” I whisper.

“Did I what?”

I let out a huff. I know he’s doing this on purpose; he wants me to say it. “Did you have a relationship with Sarah? Did you sleep with her?”

A hint of a wicked smile tugs at his lips. He pulls a strand of my hair between his thumb and his forefinger as if he were examining it for a moment then he gently pushes it behind my ear, his touch makes my body go on hyper alert, my most sensitive areas coming to life. His gaze drops to my lips then quickly rises back up until our eyes are locked on each other. He shakes his head. “No. I never had a relationship with Sarah. I’ve never slept with her.”

I force my features to remain neutral but I think he can sense my relief, and I’m almost positive that he enjoys my reaction. His fingers gently stroke my cheek and I can’t help but to lean into his touch, I’m lost in it, no longer in control of my actions or reactions. I tilt my head up, push off of the counter and onto my tiptoes and before I can think it through mesh my lips to his. His hands grab onto my hips, pushing me back down again until I’m leaning against the sink. He follows me down, using his strength to take control of the kiss, using his tongue to coax my mouth open and slowly guiding it into my mouth. And just like that my crush on Logan is gone, replaced with lust and few other emotions that I have no desire to think about. My arms slide around his neck as his slip around my waist pulling me closer to him uniting us like two puzzle pieces locking together. It’s a brilliant rainbow in an otherwise dark and cloudy day. I never knew a kiss could be like this it feels like more. It’s as if though I’m opening up a part of me to Logan that no one else has ever been privy to and he’s doing the same for me. It excites me and scares me at the same time; no one has ever ignited the fire inside of me the way that he does.

The sound of Lily crying comes through the baby monitor that I brought downstairs with me earlier. I pull away from Logan and instantly the spell is broken, it’s as if someone has thrown a bucket of cold water over my head. I can’t tell by looking at him what he’s thinking but I can only assume that it’s not good. I can’t believe that I actually kissed him. I can feel the heat rushing up to my cheeks and I’m completely mortified. He reaches out for my hand but I dodge him.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” I say.

He cocks his brow, looking as confused as I feel. He shakes his head at me. “No, Mia.”

“I know.” I groan covering my eyes with my hands. I don’t want him to see my mortification. “It was completely inappropriate, you’ve been nothing short of amazing to me and Lily and…”

He reaches for me again but I take a step back. “It’s okay, I…”

“No, it’s not okay.” I sigh, looking away. “I have to go check on her.” I move out of the kitchen and quickly bound up the stairs, going into Lily’s room and locking the door behind me. I pick her up out of her crib and sit in the rocking chair. I hold her to my chest, and place a kiss on her little forehead. I close my eyes, biting back tears, mentally kicking myself for what I did and hoping that I haven’t just outworn my welcome with Logan.

After I get Lily back to sleep I use the connecting bathroom to get back to my room. I just don’t think I can handle a run in with Logan right now. I change into a pair of pajama pants and a tank top then crawl into bed. I can’t shake the embarrassment that I’m feeling. I mean, yes Logan has flirted with me a time or two, but there’s a huge difference between innocent flirting and sucking someone’s face off. As stupid as it was of me to do it, I can’t help but relish in how good it felt to be in his arms, how good it felt to feel his arms around me; my lips are still tingling.

A gentle rapping on my door pulls me from my thoughts. I lift my head just in time to see Logan slowly opening my door and peeking his head in.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” I reply, inwardly praying that he’ll just take pity on me and go away. Let me wallow in my misery and self-hate all alone.

“Can I come in?”

What am I supposed to say? No Logan, you can’t come into a bedroom in the house that you own? A bedroom that you’re letting me use for free?

I let out a sigh and push up onto my elbows so that I can get a better look at him. “Of course you can come in. It’s your house.”

He crosses the room in a few quick steps and before I can question or protest he’s hopping up on the bed and lying down next to me on top of the covers.

My eyes go wide with surprise. “What are you doing?”

He brings his arms up and places his hands behind his head, using them as a pillow. “Relaxing for a minute it’s been a long day.”

“You have your own room to relax in, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he replies, turning his head to the side so that he can look at me, “but I wanted to talk to you. This kills two birds with one stone.”

I know Logan enough to know that he’s not going anywhere until he gets his way so I do the only thing I can do. I let out a huff and roll my eyes. “Fine, talk.”

“Do you want to tell me what happened downstairs?” There’s no anger in his voice, no reproach in his tone. He’s cool, calm and collected; right now I envy his ability to remain level headed.

“I… I don’t know, I just thought that maybe… I…”

“What?”

I bury my head in the pillow and muffle out an answer. “I thought that maybe you wanted me to kiss you.”

“You’re wrong.”

Oh my God, if ever there was a time I’d like for the floor to open up and swallow me whole this is it. This is by far the most humiliating moment of my life. “Yeah, I got that.” I croak out.

He slips his hand between the pillow and my face and tugs at my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “I didn’t want you to kiss me because I wanted to be the one who kissed you, and I would’ve but you beat me to it, and I liked it. I wanted it.”

I inhale a sharp breath, this was not what I was expecting him to say. “I thought…”

“I know what you thought and I’m telling you that you’re wrong.” He strokes my cheek like he did earlier in the kitchen. “You flipped out and ran away before I could say a word, Mia. I care about you, I like you, and maybe I always have. From the first day I met you, I knew there was something about you.”

“Logan, I’m glad that you feel that way about me, I am pretty sure you must know that by what happened earlier, and as happy as I am that I wasn’t out on that ledge alone this is probably not the best idea. I come with too much baggage and I have too many issues to get involved with anyone right now.”

“Lily isn’t baggage.”

“I know, I didn’t mean it that way, I just… I can’t.”

He nods slowly. “Alright, I respect you, Mia. If that’s how you feel about this then we’ll do it your way. We’ll just be friends.”

“And you’ll really be okay with that?” A part of me is hoping that he’ll say no but I know that it’s for the best. He wouldn’t want me if he knew everything there was to know about me and he deserves better. Someone who can love him and give him a family of his own, not a ready-made family.

“Sure,” he says, closing his eyes.

“What are you doing now?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to sleep.”

“This isn’t your room.”

“Go to sleep, Mia. I’ve had a long day and I’m too tired to move now.” I should fight him, tell him to get out and that I have no intention of sharing my bed or my heart with him, but he would be able to see right through the façade. He knows every single word I’ve just said was done so with very little conviction, I’m starting to realize that I’ve never wanted anyone to love me more that I want Logan Tate to. Instead of fighting a losing battle, I turn on my side and close my eyes—taking comfort in the fact that even if it’s for a little while longer Logan is here with me.

It’s been two weeks since the break in at my apartment and it feels like an eternity since I kissed Logan in the kitchen. Since the night he came into my room and slept in my bed. Things have been otherwise normal but every night since then, after I’ve put Lily down for the night and after I’ve gone to bed, Logan comes into my room and sleeps in my bed.

He always stays on top of the covers and we talk and laugh. He tells me about his family life and what it was like growing up here, and though the sexual tension is there, neither of us has acted on it again. What we’ve built in the last few days is so much more than the desire to act out on our feelings. It’s more than a stolen kiss in the kitchen. It’s two people spending time together, getting to know each other, and day by day coming to trust one another.

Work has been a little awkward to say the least but Sarah finally made good on her word and put me on the books last week. That means I’ll be eligible for health benefits for Lily and myself, and I can stop going to the clinic and get her a real pediatrician in a few months.

Logan picked me up on my lunch hour and he and I are on our way to do a walk through of my apartment with my landlord, Janet. I left Lily at the daycare center and when I walked out to the front desk to meet Logan I found he and Sarah in what appeared to be a heated conversation. I didn’t want to assume but I could pretty much assume that I was the topic of discussion. Not to mention the fact that all conversation ceased when I approached them.

“What were you and Sarah talking about before?” I ask from the passenger side of the truck. I try my best not to sound bothered or catty even though that’s exactly how I feel.

He looks uncomfortable as he glances at me out of the corner of his eye. “Um...”

“Sorry, it’s none of my business. You don’t have to answer that.”

“No, it’s fine. She just wants to make sure that I’m not…” He hesitates.

“You’re not what?”

“Taking advantage of you. She thinks you’re too young for me.”

“I bet she does.” I mumble under my breath and roll my eyes. “I think she’s more worried about you getting tied down with just another teen mom than she is about anything else.”

“Mia, you’re not a stereotype to me. The fact that you’re young and have a baby doesn’t bother me. I am completely in awe of you, of what you did for Lily.”

“Thanks.” I look away from him quickly in a poor attempt to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks.

We pull up in front of my building and a sense of sadness washes over me. This is it. As long as all of the repairs have been done, I can move back into my apartment with Lily tonight. I should be happy about getting my own place back, but the empty feeling in my chest is gnawing away at me and it has everything to do with Logan. Everything to do with how much I’m going to miss him.

Janet is already there when we arrive. “Kelly, Officer Tate,” she says with a cheery smile. Logan looks down at me at the mention of the name that I was using up until a few days ago.

“Hi Janet,” I respond as Logan shakes her hand.

She leads us into my apartment.

Janet unlocks the front door. “We’ve changed the locks on the door for you and added a security chain,” she says, more for Logan’s benefit than for mine. He barely acknowledges the change.

We walk around the apartment while Janet points out more of the changes that she’s made in order to make it a safer place to live.

“So what do you think, Officer Tate? I think that we’ve addressed everything on your list.”

“I didn’t notice these bars on the window,” Logan says, pointing toward the living room windows.

My mouth opens in shock. “Logan!” I sputter out, trying to get him to stop.

“Well, they’re child proof windows.” Janet announces, looking back and forth between the both of us. I think she’s as confused about our relationship as I am.

“No, ma’am. What they are is a fire hazard and they have to be taken off.”

“Logan…”

“
Kelly…
If there is a fire, you and Lily would be stuck. There would be no way to get out of this apartment.” He turns back to Janet. “I also noticed a large crack in the bathroom ceiling and some evidence of leakage.”