Shattered Heart (The Hart Series) (48 page)

“HEY!”  I hear a
familiar booming voice followed by the sound of heavy footsteps approaching. 
“Hey, get away from her.”

He pushes
against the column with his fist as Oliver approaches.  “You better get him to
call me.  I don’t think I need to remind you what can happen if you don’t
follow through with what you’re told.” 

Oliver’s
cautious eyes move between the two of us.  “Elyssa, you okay?”

“She’s fine.” 
His eyes never leave mine, answering Oliver’s question.  “You make sure you
pass along the message, Elyssa.”  He slowly retreats as Oliver nears.  I didn’t
realize how much my body was shaking until I feel Oliver wrap his arms around
my shoulders.

“You okay?” he
whispers in my ear, holding me close.  I nod, unable to speak.  We watch Alex’s
father leave just as the last shudder rocks through my body.  “Who the fuck was
that, Elyssa?”  I shake my head, still unable to find the words.  Fortunately,
Oliver doesn’t push.  Instead he holds me closer and nudges me closer to my car. 
“Come on…let’s get you home.”

I feel safer now
that Oliver is here, but it doesn’t stop me from looking over my shoulder and
locking the doors the instant I’m inside my car.  Just another day in my brutal
existence.

Friday, December 21, 2012
 

I’m settled on
the couch, comfortable for a change, rubbing my little belly that seems to have
grown over night.  After the week I’ve had, all I want to do is unwind, maybe
open up a book, or maybe even sleep.  So when I hear a rapping against my door,
I’m a little upset at the prospect of not having that relaxing evening.  But,
even as the errant thoughts roll through my brain, I’d be lying if I said that
I didn’t hope it was Alex.  I haven’t seen nor spoken to him since last week. 
On the bright side, I haven’t seen his Dad since Monday either. 

When I look
through the peephole the last person I expected to see standing on the other
side of my door is Cole.  Suddenly interested in my feet, I take a deep breath,
close my eyes, and exhale as I open the door.  When I finally decide to look up
at him, he’s standing there with a somber look on his face leaning against the
stucco wall next to my front door. 
At least he seems sober.

I cross my arms,
ready for the fight.  “What do you want, Cole?” 

“Can I come
in?”  I hesitate, but not for long.  The moment his eyes reach mine I know
there’s something important he wants to tell me.  I also know it’s not
something I’m going to like.  I may regret my decision, but nevertheless, I
move aside and close the door behind him.  Wrapping my shawl around myself, I
settle back on the couch and pull my legs beneath me.

Cole frantically
paces the length of my living room, practically walking a path into my tan
carpet; his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie, his eyes glowing in a semi-panic. 
Cuts and scrapes line his jaw and neck and I notice his lower left eye is
bandaged.  Whatever he’s gotten himself into, it’s definitely bad.  “What I’m
about to tell you…I need you to listen before kicking me out.”

“Cole...” He
rushes towards me, taking my hands between his.  He’s begging me with his eyes
and I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t scare me a little.  “Promise me
you’ll let me tell you everything before you kick me out.” 

“How do you know
I’m going to kick you out?” I murmur, although I know there is a high
probability I will, regardless of what he has to say.  It is Cole we’re talking
about.

“Trust me.  You
will.”  He looks to the window, pulling out an envelope from the pocket of his
hoodie.  He stands and continues to pace, slapping the envelope against the
palm of his hand.  “Promise me, Elyssa.”

With an eye
roll, I clutch my shawl tighter around me after realizing that I’m only wearing
a cami and sleep shorts.  “Fine Cole, I promise not to kick you out.” 

“I’ve been
following you.”  I gasp.  I had a feeling; my gut was telling me something was
off.  Why didn’t I listen to my instincts?  “That’s how I knew you were at the
doctor’s office that day.  The deal was to follow you, but to never let you see
me.  But that day,” he shakes his head, solemnly, “that day I was worried about
you.  I had to make sure I was outside when you left, because I had to know you
were okay.” 

My mouth drops
farther in shock.  I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised, but what he’s telling
me is almost unbelievable.  Who does this? 

“I never
imagined in a million years you would be pregnant, nor was I prepared for what
you told me later that night.  You can’t know what that did to me.  Well, I
guess you can know, since you went through it alone.   You have to believe me
when I say I’m sorry.  If I had known you were going through that, I would have
done something…anything.  I’ve been beating myself up about it ever since.” 

He walks over,
dropping to his knees in front of me.  “If I knew you were pregnant, I would
have taken care of you.  I would have loved you more than I already had.  I
would have stopped drinking and been anything you needed me to be.  You don’t
know how sorry I am.”

Cole takes my
hands between his again, fingers running over my knuckles as I sit weeping
silently over both of our losses.  What have we done to each other?  We used to
be so close, he used to be someone who I called my best friend.  Why would he
do this to me?  It doesn’t make sense.

Sensing my
confusion, he continues, “This is the part where you are going to hate me.  And
I want you to know, I will understand if you do.  Hell, I hate myself for what
I’ve done to you.  I now know it wasn’t worth it.  Nothing is ever worth your
pain.”  When his eyes start to glisten, I furrow my brows with further
confusion. 
God, what has he done that could be worse?
 

“Cole, you’re
scaring me.  What have you done?”

“I wasn’t
following you for me.  Well, I of course still care about you, so it wasn’t an
inconvenience for me, but I didn’t just up and make that decision.  I may be a
jealous person, but I’m not crazy…”

“You’re
rambling.”

After a moment
of hesitation, he finally spits it out, and when he does it’s like a slap in
the face.  “Right…Arianna.  She paid me to follow you.”  The second her name
left his lips I saw red.  Red as fiery as the burning sun.  I yank my hands
away from his and scurry to the other side of the couch creating as much
distance between us as I can.  My feet frantically move against the cushions,
pushing me farther and farther away. 
What the fuck?
  “You promised to
hear me out.”

“Then hurry the
fuck up so I can kick your ass out of here,” I spit with disdain as I furrow
into the far end of my sofa.

With hands
tightening around every strand of his hair, he continues.  “At first it didn’t
seem like much.  She was upset with you because of Alex, so when she brought
the proposition to me, all she wanted to know was when you were with him.  She
seemed like a jealous ex, so stupidly, I went along with her.  Arianna wanted
to know what you were up to, if you were with him in any capacity, or if you
were staying away from him like you were supposed to.”

Damn. 
Everything finally makes sense.  Her knowledge of every move I made, every
chance encounter Alex and I ever had together.  She knew about it because of
Cole.  Oh God!  What if she knows about the baby?

“God, please say
you didn’t tell her about the baby?!”

Cole shakes his
head profusely.  “No and she can’t find out.  She’s crazy, Ely.  You can’t
imagine the things she’s had me do, all the awful things I’ve done.”  Staring
down at his hands like they’re soiled in filth, he begins to shake.  I notice
his knuckles are scabbed, obviously healing from a recent fight. 

“Cole?”  I look
at him and for a brief moment I feel pity.  Yes, he followed me and yes, he
reported everything back to that bitch, but he also kept my baby safe by not
telling her about LJ.  He continues to shake, but reaches for the envelope he
dropped to the floor when he fell to his knees in front of me.  I point my chin
towards the envelope.  “What’s that?” 

“I don’t want to
hurt you any more than I already have.”  Cole looks me in the eyes and I can
see that it pains him, what he knows, what he’s about to tell me.  From his
look alone, I know I don’t want to know what’s in the envelope.  But, because
I’ve proven time and time again that I’m a glutton for punishment, I continue
to pester him for more.

“You’ve already
done enough damage, what’s one more thing?”  Strangely, I feel calm.  I know
what he’s about to tell me will shatter the remaining pieces of my heart.  But,
like everything to do with Alex, I have to know.  

Cole shakes his
head.  He seems to be battling between telling me and leaving me ignorant. 
Whoever said ignorance is bliss is a damn fool.  I can’t take it any longer and
know Cole is leaning towards the cowardly way, so I make the choice for him. 
Reaching down, I rip the large envelope open.  And when I do, pictures begin to
float down and fall into my lap. 

I immediately
regret my decision.  Maybe the damn fool had a point.  Sometimes you don’t need
to know everything.  Lesson learned.

The picture on
top causes so much guttural pain, I immediately push myself up from the couch
and sprint to the bathroom, hoping to make it to the toilet in time.  I dry
heave; nothing comes out except for the tears that seem to find solace on my
face.

“Ely, you
okay?”  I can hear Cole’s voice echoing through the bathroom, but I can’t see
him through the tears.  I continue to heave, hoping the ache in my chest expels
into the toilet along with my lunch.  Cole pushes himself closer, dropping to
the floor near me.  I can feel his hand running up and down the length of my
back until I heave again.  This time, he reaches forward, moving my hair out of
the way.

Several minutes
pass before the nausea eases and I slump against the cool tile wall.  I’m still
crying, unable to swallow past the lump that’s grown bigger in my throat every
second since the moment I saw the picture.  It took only one picture to break me
in two. 

Cole moves
inches closer to me; his jeans brushing against my bare leg.  “I’m sorry,
Ely.”  I shake my head, pushing away all of his words and replay over and over
the image in my head.  “I never wanted…”

“When did you
take that picture?”  My mind is frantic with questions.

“While you were
out of town.” 

“H-how could
he.”  I struggle to speak as heart wrenching sobs echo through the bathroom; I
struggle to breath.

“Ely…” 

“HOW. COULD.
HE?!” I scream and turn to Cole.  “She’s ruined everything!  She took away my
happiness and he gives her….he gives her….”  I clutch my hand against my
belly.  Cole tries to pull me close, but I push against him.  I fight his need
to comfort me and ball my hands into fists and pound them against his chest. 
He doesn’t try to stop me.  I strike him over and over again until my hand
feels numb.  Eventually I quit fighting and Cole pulls me against his chest.

“Shhhhh…I’m so
sorry.  I wish I could undo everything.”  One of his hands moves to my hair,
soothing me.

“How could he
give into her so easily?” I mutter against his chest.  The cotton material of
his sweater muffles my cries.

“I don’t know,
Ely, I don’t know.”

My stomach
wretches again and I feel a severe cramp in my lower abdomen.  I clutch my
belly and push away from Cole. 
What the hell am I doing?
  He did this. 
They all did this.  Arianna, Cole…even Alex.  The one man I thought I was safe
with.  He betrayed me.  I clutch my eyes tightly together as I ride out the now
dull pain deep in my belly. 

Even when I
close my eyes, all I see is the image of that picture scorched into my lids.  I
can make out every detail.

Alex lying on
his back.  Naked.  The muscles of his biceps are strained as he clutches her
hips.  She’s straddling him, also completely naked.  Devil red hair cascades
down her neck, head tilted back in pleasure, her hands pushing against his
chest.  Mouth partially open, eyes clutched tight, brows furrowed, Alex’s face
is a mixture of pleasure and pain. 

I immediately
know who the woman is.  The hair is a dead giveaway, but no, that’s not how I
know who it is.  The bitch has the nerve to wear that sparkling watch that
ruined my life months ago, while ruining it again.  That damn watch mocks me,
sealing the fate I refused to accept before.

I’m not sure
what hurts more.  The fact that Alex slept with someone else or the fact that
the woman he went running to was the very woman that tore us apart.  I can’t
imagine giving myself to someone after sharing something so intimate with him. 
I can’t imagine feeling anything close to the pure pleasure I felt when I was
with Alex. 

“Ely?”  Cole’s
voice is wary.  My eyes shoot open and I’m immediately overwhelmed with an
unfathomable amount of anger that ripples through my body. 

“You!”  I push
against his chest and pull myself off the floor.  “You did this to me!”  Cole
rises with an expression of anguish on his face as he realizes that I’ve gotten
over the initial shock.  And now that I’ve moved on to anger, he should be
scared.  I am livid.