Shattered Hart (22 page)

Sitting up, Damien holds his hand out to me.  Raising my eyebrows in query, I walk to the foot of the bed and stop.  When he holds his arm out more and wiggles his fingers, I reach my hand out, giving a little gasp as his fingers slide through mine.  Clasping my hand, he pulls me on to the bed.

Pulling my hand from his grasp, I lay facing him in the same position he's in.
 
He's
quiet and intense as he stares in to my eyes.  Reaching out, he lifts my hand up from between us and holds it against his chest.

"I hate that
you're
mad at me Brooke.
I would never do anything to hurt
you
, and taking your virginity would hurt you in the long run." 

Bringing
our
clasped hands up to his lips, he drops a few kisses on to the back of my hand before laying my hand over his heart and covering it with his own.

"Everything about
you
is so
special
, beautiful, perfect and open.  I
couldn't
survive if I crushed any of tha
t
.  I've never even had a girlfriend sweetheart.  What if I took your virginity and then went crazy and
couldn't
handle fidelity?  I
can't
take that chance."

I stare at him in frustration as I try to hold my reaction in but in the end I can’t help letting him know that he’s pissing me off.
 
“Dammit Damien!
 
That’s
not fair to me. 
You’re
playing the heavy here, trying to make decisions for me and I hate it.  I
can’t
help the fact that I am a virgin, and if
that’s
a deal breaker for
you
, then it is what it is.  I think
it’s
shallow and ridiculous, but I’m not arguing with
you
about it
because you don’t listen
.”

He looks unsure, and I silently pray that he will see how wrong he is.

“Brooke, to
you it
might seem shallo
w and ridiculous, but to me it’
s a matter of honor.  I care about
you
more than I care about myself, even if you
can’t
see that right now. 
Its better this way, it really is.
  I
couldn’t
bear to lose
you
, and sex
would
up the chances of that by about a trillion percent.  This way we can always be friends.”

I want to yell and have a temper tantrum, but I
don’t
. 
It’s hard to stay controlled though.

“
Then w
e need to make sure this
doesn’t
happen
again
Damien.  I’m
fine
right now, but I can only handle so much rejection.”

The look he gives me is sad, but the nod he gives tells
me he
understands. 

Getting up from the bed, h
e stands over me for a moment. 
Finally he says, “Thank you Brooke, for being so reasonable.
  I promise
you
that this will never happen again.”

With a gentle kiss on my forehead and a fierce hug, he leaves the room.  I
am left
frustrated and upset. 
Here all this time I thought saving my virginity was a good thing,
but now I
know that
it’s what’
s keeping me from Damien.

Every
day that has passed
since the night I almost claimed Brooke has been excruciating.  The only thing that has kept me from
going to
her is the constant reminders I give myself that I’m doing the right thing. 

I can see that Brooke
doesn’t
think so.  Her mouth said, “We
can’t
do this again”… but her body.  Fuck, her body practically begs me to take her in any way that I choose. 
At any given moment
I can
envision
at least a dozen ways I want to have her, and that
doesn’t
help my sanity.

Each day we get a little closer to her graduation, and it panics me.  Immediately after graduation my sisters and Brooke will be starting at Hart International with the rest of us.  Once
I have to see her every single day, there is no telling how I will maintain what little
control
I have left.

Something has got to give.  I know it
and
I think she knows it too.  We
can’t
go on like this.  I’m at my wits end. 
Whenever I catch Brooke looking at me, she’s taking me in like I’m a
feast
that has been laid out before her.
  I can feel her desire, and I damn sure know she can feel mine.

It’s
not like I can ever get away from her.  In addition to the fact that we’re going to be working together, my brother and her sister are living together
and
my brother just told
me he’s
going to ask Sabrina to marry him
. 
Brooke is in my life for the long haul.  I
wouldn’t
want her not to be, but I need her to see that I can never be an option for her.  Hell, I need to see that.  There are days that I’m on the fence.

Pulling
myself
from my reverie, I finish
getting dressed. 
Somehow Spencer got wrangled in
to going to a party at hi
s mother’s house tonight,
and
I got recruited for moral support.  There are few people on earth I detest more than Spence’s mom, Marceline Cross. 
She’s
a hideous excuse for a human being, and being around her makes me ill.  If I
didn’t
love Spencer so much, I
wouldn’t
be caught dead within a fifty mile radius of her vile ass.

It
doesn’t
help that Marceline is a reminder of my parents. When I was younger, Marceline and my parents were inseparable.  I’ve got horrific images of Marceline and my parents fucking dozens of people in my head.  Marceline and my parents were ridiculously abusive to their children, and it was self-preservation that originally had Spencer befriending Dante and I.

We kept each other sane and safe for many years.  When my sisters came along, Spence stepped right in and helped just as much as Dante and I did.  I owe Spencer for being such a
great
friend, and it is because of that fact that I am willingly going to a party at his mother’s, even though I’m not quite sure how she roped him in to coming. 
It’s
been at least two years since the last time she called him, and I wonder what she did to make him agree to see her again.

My thoughts
are derailed
by the ringing of my doorbell.  I head in to the living room and swing the door open for Spence.  He looks queasy and uncomfortable, and I know he
doesn’t
want to go. 

Putting a hand on his shoulder, I squeeze.  “Hey. 
It’s
okay Spence.
If
you
don’t
want to go, we
don’t
go.”

Nodding his head at me, he
rubs his forehead. 
That’s
his go-to stress mov
e.  “I know, I know. 
It’s
just that
I hate fucking seeing her. 
I basically let her blackmail me in to this shit.
  She swears
she’s
not been feeling well
and
she thinks something might be wrong with her.  I guess I need to see for myself.
I’m not even sure why.
”

Ah.  That explains how he got roped in to this. 
Grabbing my keys I lock up as we make our way to his car.
 

We’ve gone about a block when Spence turns to me and says, “So. 
At some point a
re
you
going to be filling me in on whatever is going on with you and Brooke?”

I’m momentarily stunned.  Shit.  If Spence has it figured out, it
won’t
be long before my brother does, and from there….
Well, once Sabrina knows, I figure the shit will really hit the fan.
 
There is no way she will condone me being anywhere near her sister.
  Not with my reputation.

“Dammit Spence.
  How the fuck did
you
know there way anything going on?”

The look he gives me from the corner of his eye says he thinks I’m an idiot.  “Uh, dude
?
  I’m not blind. 
You
should see the way you two look at each other.  Your sisters know too. 
It’s
pretty fucking hard to miss.
  I can only assume that the reason Dante and Sabrina haven’t picked up on it is because they spend so much time loving on each other.
”

This is even worse than I thought.  Dominique and Delilah knowing that anything is going on is the worst case scenario.  Those two are all hearts and flowers and will want to help Brooke hook me.  Nothing could be worse.  What the fuck am I going to do?

“Here’s the deal Spence. 
You
need to help me to shut my sisters down.  Yes, something did happen with Brooke.
Actually, several things happened.
 
But
then I found out she was a virgin.  There is no fucking way I’m the guy who should be taking that, so I backed off
.  Unfortunately, I
don’t
think she gets that yet. 
I’m not sure what I can do to change that but I really need to.
 
You
know damn well that I’m not the type who should be deflowering virgins. 
It’s
a recipe for disaster
.”

Our
conversation comes to a close when we arrive at Marceline’s
house.  The valet takes the car
to park
and
the two of us head inside.

Marceline’s parties are just as
bad
as I remembered them.  The stench of cigarette smoke is thick in the air.  Naked waiters and waitresses are taking drink orders. 
There are people all around us in various stages of undress fondling or even fucking each other.

Turning to Spence I say, “Seriously? She might be getting old, but that bitch ne
ver changes.  Find her Spence
,
and figure out what the hell she wants so that we can
get the fuck out of here.  I
can’t
handle this.”

Giving me a grim nod, Spencer heads off in to the house to find his mother.  I head to the back of the house toward the kitchen. 
I need a quieter place to hide, and I’ve been at enough of her parties to know that people tend not to congregate in Marceline’s kitchen.
 
It’s
where Spence, Dante and I used to hide when we were kids.

My steps falter when I find someone already sitting at the kitchen counter.
 
She’s quite beautiful and
in no way looks like she fits in here.
  She
clearly lacks
the hardness of the other guests. 
I’m considering making my exit when she looks up and sees me standing there.
 

I chuckle.  “I’m sorry.  I
didn’t
mean to interrupt
you
. 
I was just looking for a place to get away from all the… um… wildness out there.”

Her smile
i
s
cautiously relieved
.  “I
understand that!  I’m hiding in here because what’s going on out there is too much. 
If I had my car with me I
’d
have been gone
twenty seconds after I came through the door.”

I smile back at her, hoping to show her that I’m not a threat.  She seems uptight, not that I blame her.

Putting my hand out I say, “I’m Damien Hart.  My best friend is the hostess’s son, Spencer Cross. 
He’s
here under duress, and I’m here as his moral support.”

Taking my hand, she grins.  “I’m Tally Simon.  I got dragged here by my fr
iend Melissa. 
She’s
dating someone
who talked her in to coming.  If I’d known it was going to be like this, I would never have agreed to come.”