Shampoo (67 page)

Thursday 15 February
2001

7.45pm

Valentine’s Day was
dreamy.

The first time I’ve been in love,
OR LOVED, on Valentine’s Day in years.

I normally spend every Valentine’s
Day in a state of excitement, absolutely sure I would get
SOMETHING, but when nothing arrives, I then sob my fucking heart
out.

I arrived at work to a GIGANTIC
bunch of the most beautiful pink flowers you can ever imagine. I
knew Matt’s mum had made them, saving all the best pink flowers, I
bet.

(God I love his mum)

There was a card sticking out of
them, with my diamond bracelet attached to it.

I just squealed, and ran
downstairs. Matt was laughing as he saw me run across the
warehouse, then I jumped into his arms and kissed him.

Faye started laughing and crying
at the same time, like this was ‘An Officer and a Gentleman,’ and
all the boys started wolf whistling and calling out.

(was just like a romantic
movie)

All the girls were so jealous of
my flowers, everyone kept coming over to smell them and read the
card and grab my wrist while I was on the phone or trying to
type.

(holy fuck! I should’ve got Joy
something. And Julia! I only thought of Tee and Nat. God, I’m
awful)

Matt and I drove back to his, and
I pretended to be the obedient girlfriend

(haha! Hahahahahahahahaha. World’s
funniest joke there),

since it was Valentine’s Day and
all, and drove behind him the whole way.

(I actually strangely found it
incredibly sexy driving behind his Commodore, following
him)

Not one roar off or burnout or
tire spin or mad corner at dangerous speed.

I pulled around him at set of
lights, and Matt said, “What’s up with you, baby?”

“
Just letting you take
the lead,” I replied sweetly.

Matt laughed. “Oh, SURE!! Now I
KNOW something’s fucking up now!”

But no roaring off by me. I
gestured, like ‘you go first, dear,’ and Matt laughed again,
shaking his head and took off.

I even hung back as we neared his
house, let myself fall back, out of his rearview mirror.

I waited for that corner that
turns into his street, watched as he’d just turned into his street,
then fucking floored it. Roared off, came speeding down his street
and overtook him.

Me first. At his place!

Matt just rolled his eyes as he
got out his car, parked behind me. “I was waiting for
it.”

“
Oh sure!!”

“
I was! No way were you
just going to go ONE WHOLE DRIVE without being an irresponsible
HOON. You’re gonna blow that engine one day.”

He helped me carry my gigantic
flowers inside, then we went for a walk at dusk, which was
strangely romantic, being Valentine’s Day and all.

(anything with Matt is romantic
though. He turns it into romance. I love that about
him!)

We kept kissing while we walked
and Matt kept lifting me up and twirling me around.

We seem to turn anything into fun.
Going for a walk becomes THE MOST FUN EVER!

When we returned from World’s Most
Romantic Walk, we sat around with his parents, drinking
Scotch.

I love those moments. I love these
moments with his family. I feel like I belong, like I found my
spot.

We had a beautiful, romantic,
double date dinner with his parents, then Matt and I came to
bed.

The way Matt took my clothes off
last night…the way he kissed me.

Something was very, I don’t know.
Special, romantic, even more loving than usual.

We took our love to another level,
AGAIN.

I didn’t think that was
possible.

Then in the morning, I was all
ready, showered, dressed, hair and make up done, had to leave in
five minutes, and Matt just grabbed me and threw me back on the
bed.

For a quickie.

Saturday 17 February
2001

8.00pm

After work yesterday, Matt came to
mine, looking so fucking spunky.

He always looks so fucking hot
when he dresses up and we go out, and I really can’t understand it,
cause it’s not like guys put make up on or do their hair any
different.

All they do is put clothes
on.

So how do they look so hot just
doing that?

Why? Why?? I’m confused!! It’s
like some magical thing happens.

(wish it were that easy for
women)

He looked HOT.

I just had to keep telling
him.

We walked to the bus stop in
Moorooka, caught a bus into the city.

I kept going, “Matt…”

“
Yes?”

“
You look so hot
tonight.”

And he’d laugh and kiss
me.

As we walked arm in arm into
Friday’s

(I love that, I love
how I have a guy I LOVE wrapped around me
when I walk into clubs now. All those times, hundreds,
thousands, of times clubbing, hoping to meet Mr Right and coming
home bitterly disappointed. But now here he is, his arms around me.
It’s like a special fuck you to all those times before),

I looked up at him and said, “Matt? You look
fucking hot tonight.”

And he laughed and kissed me as the bouncer
tried to stamp our hands.

Then during dinner, “Matt?”

He was already laughing, and looking at me with
his I love you eyes.

(oh God, I love when he looks at me like
that)

“
What??” He laughed.

“
You look so hot
tonight.”

Lachie laughed so hard. “You two are
sickening.”

So yes, we met Paul and Anita, Little Jonny,
Melissa and Nathan, Ryan, Nat and Dan

(yes, the old fogies were there),

Lachie and Benny

(I just coupled them off, ha ha),

and Terry and her husband.

So most of the warehouse crew.

Melinda couldn’t go, but I spoke to her during
the day.

We had a big table, and we all had dinner
together and drank.

I was just getting started

(“I can see the evil glint in her eyes, once
she hits that spot,” Lachie teased.

“Things are about to be danced on and fire
alarms set off,” added Benny.

“
Hey, that last fire
alarm was him!” I laughed, pointing to Lach),

when Matt piked. He wanted to go
home.

I was all, “What! Oh no,
PUH-LEASE!! I’ve only had ten drinks – ”

But no go. He wanted to
go.

And since he’s
so perfect all the time, I felt I’d better be a
good girlfriend.

(for once)

Everyone gave me so much shit when I stood up
with Matt, throwing things at me and booing, crying,

“
Oh, the party girl is the first to
leave??”

“
The All-Night Partier, LEAVING
NOW???”

“
What is up WITH THIS
SHIT!!”

“
It’s a world gone mad!”

“
Your SISTER’S STILL HERE, for
Christ’s sake!!”

“
Yeah, you’re fucking leaving before
Nanna Nat!”

Oh, God, it never ended.

“
Shut up, the lot of you!” I cried.
“I have a boyfriend now!”

“
Boo, boo!!”

“
Go home with your BOYFRIEND
then!”

“
Pinky the Piker!!!”

Kinda grates on my nerves I have to be this
different person at times, just cause I have a boyfriend
now.

“
I can’t believe you managed to get
out the word boyfriend to everybody then,” Matt said as we walked
to the cab rank. “I’m impressed. No hives or choking or anything.
Just ‘boyfriend’!”

“
Matt?”

“
What?”

“
You look so hot
tonight.”

He was already kissing me and laughing. “I am
going to make it up to you in SO MANY WAYS that we left early,” he
promised.

And he did. For hours and hours.

Being in bed with him IS way better than being
the all-night party girl.

Much more satisfying.

Today I visited Tee, had breakfast with
her.

Then came back to Matt still here, and we went
and got Red Rooster and came back home and veged.

We had the BIGGEST TICKLE FIGHT EVER

(like EVER…with things knocked over and
broken…Nat is SO GONNA KILL ME when she discovers her precious blue
vase is broken),

and I got Matt so good

(AHAHAHAHAHA, I’m hysterical just writing
this)

he fell off the couch and landed
on one of Nat’s HUGE

(I’m talking VW Beetle
sized)

pillows on the floor, then slid
off that backwards and landed on his head, his feet in the
air!!!

I laughed for like twenty minutes.
I couldn’t stop. I was like, “Make it stop, make it stop, I CAN’T
STOP LAUGHING!!!!”

And then after I finally settled
down, I grabbed a glass of water, just sat down next to him, was
gulping…

And made the mistake of looking at
him. All I could see was him landing on his head, his feet in the
air…

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

…
and I tried, I really
tried, to swallow that water and keep it in. But I spat it out in a
big ‘pffffft’ burst, and Matt copped it right in the
face.

(about time males copped something
in the face)

Oh my God, we were hysterical for
like an hour.

We saw the 1.30pm session of ‘The
Family Man,’ and I bawled everywhere. Like fucking sobbed my heart
out bawling.

“
Think we’re going to
have to choose movies more carefully,” Matt announced from behind
the wheel of his car. “You’re a mess in anything romantic. Even
funny movies, you find something to cry about. If all we saw were
horrors, you’d cry for all the dead people.”

“
What does that leave?”
I pondered, sniffling.

“
Shit. It leaves shit
movies.”

Oh he’s so funny at times. ALL the
time. I find him funny, even though he’s not particularly
comedic.

Sunday 18 February
2001

6.50pm

Sick again. Had a big day with
Matt’s parents, but I loved it. Had a great time.

Matt and I went to his parents’
mates’ place, Robert and Teressa, and met up with Terry and
Maureen, who were at Wooli with us, and Julie and Wayne, who are so
lovely. Then we all drove down to Sanctuary Cove in one car and
went to George’s Paragon Restaurant.

Oh my God, the best
food.

All us ladies drank champagne with
strawberries, and had the best time.

I had the Chicken Oskar, and, I
swear, it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted in my life. It was
chicken in a hazelnut and Frangelico sauce.

We walked around Sanctuary Cove,
walking our lunch off, and checking out all the boats. Matt and I
were doing our usual twirling and running around things, chasing
each other, being silly, laughing, carrying on.

Then I just got overwhelmed. I
don’t know what it was, but I just started thinking he’s too good
for me, his family is too good for me, I’m a nobody, with no money,
nothing, forever rootless.

And he’s SO GOOD.

I just wanted to hide then. I
didn’t feel attractive, I didn’t feel lovable, or good enough for
him or that I could really be loved by him the way I am
now

(even though I am)

and I had a total fucking flip
out. Once we were back at Matt’s, I wouldn’t even let him make love
to me.

(things are dire then, when I
don’t want to drink or fuck)

I just got up and left. I
seriously did. I just got up and walked out.

Matt didn’t take it too well. He
rang me tonight, and absolutely lost it at me.

“
WHAT the FUCK, was
that about?”

How do I even explain it, when I
don’t even really now myself? How do I explain to someone who’s
always had that stable love in his life, the stable upbringing, how
do I explain to someone like him that I’m just not
lovable?

“
You fucking ROARED out
of here – ”

“
Even FOR YOU, that was
fucking FULL ON – ”

“
I was SO FUCKING
WORRIED you were going to crash that fucking car of yours, the way
you fucking left here – ”