Shampoo (66 page)

We practically ran up the stairs, Matt dragging
me behind him. Soon as his door was slammed behind us, Matt’s hands
were up under my skirt and squeezing my (almost) bare butt. “I’ve
been waiting to do this ALL DAY,” he growled against my mouth.
“You’re leaving the skirt on and heels on.” He pulled my top off
though.

The way he loves my body. God.

I could get used to this.

We went to his cousin’s
18
^th
that night. I had such fun drinking with his parents. I really
love them.

They laughed so hard when I went to sit on Matt
and slipped right off him and hit the floor.

(lucky I was wearing jeans by this stage, and
not that damn skirt)

They seriously laughed till they cried. So did
Matt. I stayed on the floor and asked someone to bring me my
spumante. They just laughed harder as Matt’s mum handed me my drink
while I stayed on the ground.

We all stumbled home drunk together, and Matt
made love to me over and over.

I don’t know how he does it. He must drink A
LOT of water.

I am so not complaining. Showing me his love
with his body is just about the best thing ever, I
think.

Then Saturday morning, Matt continued our love
fest, and kept refusing to let me go.

I finally left and drove straight to Tee’s.
I’ve missed her so much!! I’m so busy with Matt and work

(really, Matt),

it’s been AGES since I’ve seen her.

(I’m a terrible friend)

She made me her special pancakes, in her normal
GORGEOUS vintage outfit

(she gets EVERYTHING from the op
shops),

looking so pretty in lavender kitten heels that
looked like they were from the fifties, and this lace, frilly, old
lady ensemble that somehow works on Tee. She makes it look sexy and
classic.

She is true vintage.

After pancakes, she then made me a spaghetti
toastie, but instead of using an actual jaffle maker, she pulled
out this weird camping like toastie maker with long handles, that
you put your sandwich inside, and hold over open flames.

She seriously gets EVERYTHING at an op
shop.

(it actually was incredibly jealous. Best
toastie I’ve ever had)

Then we went shopping at Carindale, made our
way to Balmoral, had lunch at a coffee shop on Oxford Street, then
saw the 2.40pm session of ‘Bedazzled.’ We ran into Lachie and
Melinda as we entered the cinema.

“
Hey lady, are you stalking me?”
Lachie asked when we all spotted each other.

We joined them for the movie, which was SO
FUN!!!! Love my friends.

Saturday I managed to fall asleep at 8, with
Matt letting me have a night to myself.

(he hates being by himself. I find it so
adorable)

(tonight I find it adorable)

Matt and I went to Dad’s for dinner Sunday
arvo, then came back here and stayed in bed together all
night.

I love how we stay in bed for hours and hours,
loving each other, and being in each other’s arms.

I love it. I can’t convey how much I love
it.

Tuesday 6 February 2001

9.03pm

I fall more in love with Matt every day.
Everything is so perfect. HE’S so perfect. How I’ve always wanted a
guy to be with me.

I so did not want this to happen. I feel like
I’ve done everything possible to sabotage my life and done stupid
things like pick the wrong guy on purpose, over and over again…I’ve
fought for this NOT to happen.

And yet there is Matt. Right there with me, and
truly loving me.

Saturday 10 February
2001

9.35pm

Been at Matt’s all week. Last night was
particularly awesome. It’s beginning

(beginning?? Beginning????)

to overwhelm me. I love him so damn much. Not
sure how to really handle it.

And God, I love his mum so much,
too.

This is so different from any relationship I’ve
ever been in.

He makes me happy!!!

This must be what love actually is. RETURNED
love, not just me loving and wanting, and the guy not loving me
properly.

Matt actually loves me and wants
me!!!

It’s an incredible feeling.

Matt’s mum had the pink champagne out for
me

(God, I could get used to how she dotes on me –
Matt too. Nobody has ever DOTED on me. Dad raised us to be
independent)

and she’d bought me pink pants and a top that I
JUST LOVE!!

Then Matt was too excited, and made me try on
his Valentine’s present.

His mum is just like him. She was so excited
for me to try on my present from him, too! She was all like, “Yes,
we need to know if it needs resizing or not. We want you to wear it
straight away on Valentine’s Day.”

They are so damn funny and cute.

The present is a beautiful, GORGEOUS diamonte
bracelet, very sparkly, very vintage like, very Elizabeth Taylor. I
love it!!

Then me and Matt’s mum sat around and drank
pink champagne together while Matt cooked dinner! Ha ha! The way it
should be!

She is fast becoming my number one pink
champagne drinking partner.

Then the whole house suddenly emptied out, and
Matt and I ate dinner together, then went straight to bed for our
snuggle and ‘romantic’ time.

We made love over and over. And over. Making
love with him is beautiful, fucking with him is
beautiful…

Matt and his family left early today for
Boonah, for some family celebration I was invited to, but I just
didn’t feel up to.

Then I mooned about all day, missing
Matt.

Nat was all, “Karina, I’m not used to you being
underfoot all day. You’re either never here, at Matt’s, or you and
Matt are in your room.”

“
Hmm.” I followed her around like a
puppy dog.

“
You’re annoying me!”

“
I miss him.”

Nat just about fell over. “You MISS
HIM??”

“
Yeah.”

“
I don’t think you’ve ever missed a
guy in your life.”

“
I know.”

“
You like throw a party as soon as
your boyfriend turns his back.”

“
I know.”

“
You push them away and start fights
just for a night to yourself.”

“
I know.”

“
You go out clubbing with them arm
and arm, then ditch them to go dance on a table
somewhere.”

“
Thank you, SIS, I’ve got the
picture, thanks! I know how I am with a boyfriend!”

“
That’s a first!”

“
Yeah, tell me about it –
”

“
Did you ever miss Ever? When you
were together?”

(all the time. Every damn day. Still do, deep
down buried within)

I didn’t answer. It wasn’t the same thing. Ever
kept me permanently away from him. Matt and I are just TOGETHER.
All the time.

We’re like glued at the hip.

Nat suddenly started laughing at the look on my
face. “Oh, this is funny – ”

“
Whatever!”

“
FINALLY, you’re back in the game –
”

“
Hmpf.”

“
And it being Matt?? Of all people?
I never saw that one coming!”

“
Neither did I!”

“
Why don’t you go do what you
normally do? Go write or read?”

“
I feel a bit lost. Don’t feel like
doing my usual things.”

“
Oh, you’ve got it bad! You can help
me clean the house then, I need the bathroom done – ”

“
Okay, I’m outta here! Ta ta, must
go do that urgent thing I’ve suddenly remembered – ”

“
Karina!!!”

I went and fed Rex, since Dad’s in Adelaide,
then stopped at Target at Buranda on the way home, bought Matt, Nat
and Tee all Valentine’s Day cards, and Matt a bottle of
scotch.

Then tonight I made dinner

(“Oh, you’re home, Kerry!” Dan cried when he
spotted me in the kitchen. “I’ve forgotten what you look like!
You’re never here! There’s nobody to drink spumante with! Your
sister won’t drink it with me.”)

and played on the net for hours.

Soon as I disconnected from the net, the phone
rang. Matt, calling from Boonah, to tell me he loves me and misses
me.

He makes me feel so wonderful. I am so in
love.

Sunday 11 February 2001

5.11pm

About to go over to my baby’s house. Oh my god,
I have so fallen.

Feel like I have so much to look forward to
suddenly. Valentine’s Day this week, my birthday next
week.

God, my birthday last year. All that
blood.

I was destroyed after that. I didn’t think I’d
ever recover from it. I was broken.

(still am. But the parts seem to be coming back
together)

But this year…this year it’s kinda
dreamy.

Feel like I’ve come so far, and I
have so many people I love so much in my life: Matt, Tee, Julia,
Lachie, Melin, Benny, Rich, Joy, Graham, oh my God, the list goes
on.

I can’t wait to go out to dinner
for my birthday. I need new memories to overtake the (horror)
old.

Will be nice to have Matt there
beside me. A loving guy, FINALLY.

Monday 12 February
2001

7.33pm

Last night was great. I love Matt
and his family. I love being there with them all.

All of us sat outside, drinking
and chatting, and had a BBQ together.

Then Matt and I came upstairs and
made love forever. Was beautiful. We were teasing each other,
trying to see how long we’d last, then we rolled right off the bed
and onto the floor and kept making love there.

We were cracking up
laughing.

“
Matt?”

“
Yes, baby?”

“
I am so
happy.”

“
I know, baby. I can
tell. I told you we could be.”

Tuesday 13 February
2001

7.46pm

Matt’s had to work the last two
nights for his mum, at the florist for Valentine’s Day.

Isn’t that just so romantic???
It’s like everything about Matt is romantic.

Lachie shaved all his hair off at
work, so I gave him shit all day for it. Was so fun!!! “Romper
Stomper!!”

Joy says she has major goss to
share with me, but is holding it over me until I finally come over
for dinner.

I’m brewing some sickness again
too, and my mood is plummeting. I can actually feel myself getting
all overwhelmed and irrational and emotional.

Matt rung last night and I fell
apart. I was just missing him, overwhelmed by love, sick, tired.
Then he woke me this morning, going, “What’s wrong, baby? What’s
going on?”

“
I just get emotionally
needy when I get like this.”

“
I am here to give you
whatever you want, baby. I love you.”

(oh God he’s perfect. Fucking
perfect. I kinda rail against it. Like I’m in some nice
prison)

“
You give me
everything, Matt. It’s me. I’m not good in
relationships.”

(now that’s the fucking
understatement of the year!!! Of the century!!)

At work today, Matt followed me
into the kitchen, looking worried. Fluttering around me, like he
was just WAITING for the crazy to emerge, and he was gonna try very
hard to stop it and stamp that crazy out.

Or love that crazy out of
me.

When I get like this, I just need
bed and no talking to anyone. But how am I ever going to make a
relationship last if I don’t change??

At the end of the day, we walked
to our cars together, and Matt said, “You scared me last
night.”

“
I’m sorry,
babe.”

“
Don’t freak out on me
now, baby. Not when we’re so fucking happy. I won’t be able to bear
it.”

I stepped into his
arms by our cars. “I’m not going anywhere, Matt. I’m so in love
with you I can barely stand it.”

We hugged and kissed against my
car.

(who gives a fuck about work
now???)

He had to work with his mum again
for the florist world’s biggest night of the year.

Valentine’s Day tomorrow. I am so
excited.