ShameLess (9 page)

Stefan

I see her the moment she steps inside the front door with the petite blonde she is walking with. She does not see me. I am talking to some chick I have no interest in, but entertaining her, nonetheless. They are trying to weave through the crowd. She looks nervous.

A twinge of something stabs my stomach.
Damn!
I don’t get it. No one has stabbed me like this. Before tonight, I saw her at the doc’s office so why is she affecting me now? I didn’t care if she was there or not, to tell you the truth. I didn’t even want to see that doctor, let alone run into some head-case chick. I sure as hell didn’t want to visit my mom, either, and was dreading the visit there after my appointment with Bradford.
Fuck!

She absolutely amazes me. The first thing I notice about her is her creamy fair skin, silver greenish-blue eyes, or maybe they are turquoise, like her shirt. They remind me of the ocean. Those long dark locks. God, how I’d like to snatch her by those locks! I can’t resist the desire to lose myself in thought about what I want do to her. She doesn’t seem the type, though.
Just my fucking luck!
I knew, before tonight, she was ‘cute’. That is what I was told before I even saw that picture of her, but this chick is smoking fucking hot!
I sure as hell was not expecting this.

Once her friend starts heading upstairs with my buddy, Ian, I know I have to make my move. Now or never, right? I mean, why not get this over with? I just have to befriend her, watch out for her, and protect her, you know? It can’t be that hard.

I watch her most of the night. I even notice how other guys keep slobbering over her, and it is starting to piss me off. She seems oblivious to them, which is cute as fuck as if she is in her own little world. Her innocence is so fucking hot, too. I continue watching her as she walks into the kitchen. I know instantly, this is my chance. I head in.

After dismissing that other girl, I get closer to Ren, and I’m floored. She is one of the most beautiful girls here tonight. If I’m honest with myself, she is the finest looking girl I have ever laid eyes on!
Shit!

I have been with my fair share of girls. Size, hair and eye color never mattered. Now, I after seeing her, I can’t believe it never did. My mouth falls open looking at her. Why did I not notice her –
really notice--
her before? Could it be because I wasn’t expecting to see anyone other than the Dr. that day, let alone her? I knew I was cold to her. I had so much on my mind. If I didn’t know better, I would think I’m salivating, and I pray she can’t detect the pulsing of my dick through my jeans.

I take her off guard.
Shit!
This is not how I was hoping this would go. She seems even more nervous now than before. She probably isn’t aware that she is biting down on her lower lip.
Fuck! Her lip is quivering.

I desperately want to put my arms around her and kiss her, drawing her lips to mine. Instead, I just smile at her. She lowers her eyes. She looks so innocent. There is something so pure about, but I can sense something else, too. Maybe that is what gets to me most about her? I’m not sure. She seems affected, like me, but she is also standoffish, and I’m not. She is a little confusing. Her body language tells me one thing, yet her eyes scream something else entirely. I can’t figure her out!

Before I send the ‘easy-fuck’ off in another direction, I actually catch her blushing. It’s the cutest thing I have ever seen. I will not let her see she is affecting me, so I just laugh it off. Instantly, the minute I dismiss the other girl and look for Ren, she is gone. I swear this girl isn’t necessarily crazy, but she is definitely a puzzle I want to figure out. I know there is something bothering her. I can see it in the way she grips the counter as if she’s trying to hold on for dear life. Is she scared? This breaks my heart and I think it is in this exact moment that she is either going to save me or break me. It will be my mission to find out.

I walk in the other room after her to find her staring up at one of my all-time favorite movie posters from Animal House. From the look on her face and the way she is observing it, I can tell she likes it. Instantaneously, I am taken aback by her apparent affection for something I love. Her back is to mine. In less time than it takes for me to cross the room toward her, my heart rate increases and my palms get a little sweaty.
Fuck!

I know I need to strike up a conversation, and a relatable topic is the perfect way, so I spit out, “’Mrs. Wormer, I'm so glad you could come.’” She spins around, now taking me off guard.

Ren is standing in front of me, surprised that I just quoted her a line from this movie. If she only knows how many nights my best bud, Kirk, and I stayed up watching this when we were kids.

Without warning, or even expecting it, she retorts, “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.”

Absolutely fucking perfect! Now, I
know
that I need to get to know this girl. Like no other before her, I will figure out the girl behind this sass. We both start laughing. It’s natural, easy, and very comfortable. It feels as though we’ve known one another forever. This has me wanting to figure her out even more. Her eyes are breathtaking, and those oceanic blue-greens immediately arouse and me, seizing upon every nerve ending in my body. In turn, my body starts to respond. This girl hypnotizes me. I don’t know what else to do, so I release a small chuckle and offer a genuine smile. After that she is beaming. Her entire face is lit up.
God! She is hot!

Fuck the deal!
I have to know more. I struggle to settle my mind. I understand I can’t technically ‘fuck the deal’. I’ll go through with it, no matter what. I’m obligated. Too much is at risk now. Besides, I don’t want her to see how taken I am with her, or see the conflict that is rising in me, so I do my best to hide it as I have everything else in my life so far.

I play nonchalant and hurriedly tell her, “Ah, there’s a smile. I was wondering all night when I’d get to see that. It was worth the wait, that’s for sure. Your smile is almost as beautiful as you are. You’re Ren, right. Mmm, ‘Bella’.”

Her eyes light up as the corners of my mouth turn upward into my best toothy grin, “By the way, my last name is Esposito. It’s Italian, thanks to my father. My first name is actually Stefanos, which is Greek, after my mother. You can just call me, Stefan. See, now we aren’t strangers after all.

I am still frozen by how inhabited she seems by me, stirring my hormones, and leaving me horny for her. My body aches. I admit I’ve had plenty of other girls turn me on and get my dick raging just not like this. Like any guy, I have no problem complying. It’s usually very simple, I just ‘hit ‘em and quit ‘em’. This chick is unique, though, damn! She is not your run of the mill, ‘fuck-n-chuck’ it kind. This I know. You can tell she is a ‘handle with care’ type of package, the kind my mother told me about. I’m not certain I want to open this one up. Her eyes have me hypnotized. Against her turquoise shirt, they are illuminating. Her smile has me breathless, and the way her pants meld to her petite frame is hot! Yep! This one I will definitely enjoy handling with care. I don’t know how to behave. Not once have I been like this before. I’m going to have to peel the tape off this package, and just peek inside first.

Deliberating about taking the risk, she catches me off guard and defensively spats, “All night, eh? Wow! I’m impressed someone like you would wait for anyone or anything. Yep, I’m Ren. S’renaty James, actually. How’d you know my name?”

Her sass awakens my hormones, and I feel my dick starting to throb. No other girl has ever had the balls to be feisty with me before, and I like it, a lot. They are typically putty in my hands, or just say what they
think
I want to hear to sleep with me. Not this one. She is spirited, and I may have just met my match with her. Instantly, I can see a transformation in her as if she has partially zoned out, despite the fact that she is still smiling at me, which confirms she is failing miserably at her attempt to hide something. I want to go over to her, hold her, anything to erase the look in her eyes she is fighting so damned hard to hide behind that smile. It is not lighting her up like it was before. Something has changed. I want to see her smile light up her face again, so I play it cool by complimenting her.

“It takes a lot to impress me. And, you, Ren, impress the hell outta me.” Intentionally, I wink at her. Opening another beer I’m reminded; “I’m a wild boy” as MGK loudly blasts through the house. Some girls like when you wink at them. I’m hoping she is one of them because I may just be a ‘wild boy’, but I do seriously mean it when I say she has me impressed. I’m also praying my effort at easing her into a playful mood works because I would do most anything to see her smile.

No!
Something is off.

I notice her straightening up, as if suddenly she’s annoyed or agitated. Seriously?

She spits out, “Hmm, I see. Well, you don’t impress me at all. Sorry, not sorry.” She crosses her arms over her chest and walks right by me. She grabs my beer from my hand, swigs it down, and then winks back at me after slamming the can on the counter beside me. Oh no she didn’t! She seductively rolls the tip of her tongue over her upper lip, and then trots off. Holy fuck!

I am left standing there, dumbfounded. What the fuck?! No girl has ever resisted me! This one won’t either if I have my way. I think she actually likes me, though. I’ll admit she got to me. I totally wasn’t expecting such a rad girl to take my breath away, ignite my body temperature, or seduce me with her eyes. This girl has my entire body reacting to her. Maybe I am wrong and she isn't affected by me because I think she ran out the door past me with tears in her eyes.

The water works, really? All I did was approach her and try to make small talk. Yes, there is an instant attraction, and we have this whole cat-n-mouse thing between us, but I never meant to make her cry. I. Can. Not. Handle. The. Thought. Of. Making. Her. Cry.
It’s crushing me to think I may have actually made her so upset. What did I say that was so wrong? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! She’s not making this job easy for me. Fuck!
Three months
- three months!
I can do three damn months. Easy as pie, right? No, I don’t think it will be either.

I swing the door open and follow her outside. I don’t see her. I circle around the entire perimeter of the house but still come up short.
Where did she go?
I figure she must be sitting in her friend’s car waiting, but after peering through several of the vehicles parked closest to the house, I don’t spot her sitting in any of them. I did happen to catch a couple of cars with make-out sessions steaming up their windows. Right now, I am totally rethinking having sent that ‘easy fuck’ to walk away. Dealing with her being drunk would at least have gotten me a piece of ass instead of having to deal with Ren. I just keep walking.
I need to find her!
I am not paying attention to where I am walking. Ren has my mind a freaking mess! I trip over some empty beer cans and red solo cups taking up space on the lawn.
What a fucking jam!
I glance around at some people in huddles talking, hoping maybe she is, too. Nope! Still, no luck.

I head around to the back of the house, hoping she went back inside through the door she came out of, back into the kitchen.
If I’m lucky…
Nope! Nothing - again.

Now, I’m getting pissed off. There is a shit ton of hot girls inside that would be willing to do more than just have a simple fucking conversation with me, or run off. I don’t have to chase them. They chase me. No! But, here I am trying to locate her!

As soon as the words exit my lips, I realize I actually do want to find her. I honestly do. I’m starting to worry about her. Just as I round the corner, I see her taillights but not before I hear her tires as she squeals away. Just like that, she is gone.
Fucking loon!
Smokin’ hot, but still, obviously, crazy as hell. If you ask me, it’s like her elevator has stopped between floors. What have I gotten myself into?

I shake my head, repeating, ‘three fucking months’ in my head, and pull out my cell phone before I fall into step, heading in the direction of my car to try to catch her. I am in this now, so I better get going.