ShameLess (8 page)

While the girl distracts
him
, I slip out of the kitchen into the dining room. Well, it is not
formal
dining by any means, not the kind of formal I am used to. This one houses some more of the arcade type games. There is one poster hanging on the wall that immediately grabs my attention. Why? It’s a huge-ass poster of Bluto from Animal House hanging smack dab in the center of the main wall. Classic. I love it!

Catching sight of this makes my nerves instantly relax. I smile bringing to mind many nights where Elle and I would beg my mom to put the VCR tape in so we could watch it when we were old enough. Mom never shied away from an opportunity to remind us of growing up in the seventies or her days spent pledging a sorority in the late eighties, early nineties. I know she wishes that I would do the same, but I have no interest. As I look up at the poster, arms crossed, I remember those nights of pj’s and popcorn, curled up under blankets on the sectional in the family’s theater room watching this, and laughing hysterically.

“’Mrs. Wormer, I'm so glad you could come.’”

I spin around, instantly recognizing this quote from the movie. I am curious to see who is also familiar with it. As I do, it’s Stefan. The part of me now smitten by his candor and distinct knowledge of this movie spits back, “Cut the crap. Give me a drink.”

We both start laughing. His is cute, vibrant, and immodest. It’s also addictive. I laugh even more as I feel myself relax even more, and so does he. Being near him feels less awkward and makes me want to know more about him. He is mysterious and appears complicated, yet gentle and poignant from what I witnessed earlier, and I’m riveted by this side of him. Even though I don’t particularly care for his supercilious ego, I am extremely fascinated all the same. Instantly, I recall more of the sentimental side I witnessed at the cemetery.

I feel as though I’m swooning, and prop my hand on top of the glass of a nearby pinball machine. I glance, quickly pilfering time for a closer look at his features. His smile electrifies me with deep-set dimples defining each side. He has dark wavy hair, which I noticed earlier, and those damn toned muscles that are protruding everywhere. Obviously, he works out; a lot. His entire physique, which is muscular and athletic, is very distinct, exotic. He is wearing khaki board shorts with a black belt, a tight fitting black T-back tank top, which hugs his body, and black leather flip-flops. Though I make a note of what he is wearing, his eyes are sending out bolts of electricity that course through my entire being. They truly are the windows to one’s soul. Standing here, looking into his, and laughing with him, I believe it. His eyes are the most evocative shade of bluish gray I have ever seen. They almost remind me of stormy skies on a sunny day. You know the kind that causes rainbows? Have I mentioned how I love rainbows?

“You are really beautiful,” he says sincerely while relaxing.

I lower my eyes, feeling the heat rise to deeper shades of red on my cheeks. My knees feel weak, as though they will buckle beneath me, no longer supporting my weight. I use my free hand and grab onto the edge of the same pinball machine to steady myself, and regulate my breathing, which has just accelerated faster than I’d care to admit. I use the other one to tightly grip my cell phone. I am trying to remain non-affected. I reason I am losing the battle.

Pull yourself together, Ren! You are making a fool out of yourself like those girls at the pool table or that bimbo who just stomped off!

I look up at him again. Straightaway, I persuade my mind to be standoffish. Decisively, I shake my head, pulling myself together before biting sarcasm, “Well, you know what they say. First, never talk to a stranger whose last name you don’t know. Second, mind the company that you keep. You, Stefan…I’m sorry, Stefan who, by the way? You remind me of ‘Otter’, the fraternity playboy, and I bet you use this line on all your drooling bitches!”

After my outburst, I don’t know what else to say. I have never had anyone have this effect on me. Cliché, I know. Even so, it’s true. In all of the years I dated Tucker during high school, he never made me feel as if electrical energy was surging throughout my entire body. When he touched me, his entire smile didn’t captivate me nor did his mere presence ambush every fiber of my being. Tuck’s eyes surely never imprisoned me, or made me feel like I was a piece of fine chocolate melting under the radiating heat of summer’s scorching rays.

I am imprisoned now, looking at
him
. I have heard about this happening to people before, but it had never happened to me until now. Hearing the word
beautiful
floats through my common sense…
He called me beautiful
. This isn’t common. Two compliments in one night. This certainly doesn’t make any sense to me. Sincerity expresses itself in one of the first actual forms of true appreciation, and I beam. It occurs to me, that I am staring at him, and allowing myself to feel.
Fuck!
I can’t stop smiling at him.
Does this make me a ‘drooling bitch’?
His infectious laugh has subsided a bit, but his eyes are still shining.
Yep! Fucking. Molten. Fine. Chocolate!

“Ah, there’s a smile. I was wondering all night when I’d get to see that. It was worth the wait, that’s for sure. Your smile is almost as beautiful as you are. You’re Ren, right? Mmm, ‘Bella’.”

His eyes are radiant as the corners of his mouth turn upward into the most enchanting toothy grin, ever, “By the way, my last name is Esposito. It’s Italian, thanks to my father. My first name is actually Stefanos, which is Greek, after my mother. You can just call me, Stefan. See, now we aren’t strangers after all.”

Perfect.
Not strangers!
I want to fade from his striking background. His teeth are almost perfectly straight with the exception of one small tooth in front that slightly overlaps the one next to it, giving him such sex appeal or, at least I think so… and, I begin to swoon all over again.
Ahhh! I knew it! A fucking Greek god!

“All night, eh? Wow! I’m impressed someone like you would wait for anyone or anything. Yes, I’m Ren. S’renaty James, actually. How’d you know my name?”
Nice one, Ren!
Great!

Still confused and baffled, not only by his impact on me but by my weakened knees, slightly sweating palms, the quiver in my voice that I am fighting hard to maintain, and the fluttering butterflies in the pit of my stomach, my smart-ass awakens from slumber.
Damn!
He is not going to get to me. I knew there was a shred of bravery in there somewhere. Clearly, I know that he knows my name so now I feel like an idiot.
Great!

“Saw you at Bradford’s office. Don’t break my heart by telling me you forgot me that soon,
my
Bella.” He is playing with me. Surely, he is cognizant enough to know I would find it hard not to remember the asshole he was with me then, or how I will never forget him, or how fucking hot he is.

A million things bombard my mind, controlling my thoughts, and tiny sweat beads form on the tip of my nose.
Great!
Ever since I was a little girl, when I would get the least bit nervous, my body heat would elevate, forming tiny sweat beads on the tip of my nose. My mind keeps swirling with questions and thoughts. All of it is just overwhelming me, confusing me even more, and… ‘
My
Bella’?

I. Cannot. Breathe!

Gently, I move my hand across the tip of my nose to remove the beads forming there. I shuffle my feet, trying to regain a firmer stance. I stare at him. He is gazing at me. My heart flutters even more. He smiles again. God! He stands before me confident, strong, and is such a fucking bad ass. Now I see why girls are so attracted to sexy, cocky guys.
Dammit!
His skin is tanned, golden-like. His sun-kissed body radiates fearlessness. The Greek and Italian blends in him is tempting me, making me think things I shouldn’t. Or, should I? Who fucking cares!

Right now, I like his flavor and my body seems to be responding to his DNA. Yet, I still manage, “Bella?” in a contemplative tone.

He leans against the back of a chair, relaxing. “It is Italian and means beautiful.” He lifts his beer to his lips and swigs it down in nearly one gulp.
Sexy
and
Cocky!
He doesn’t hesitate to grab another one, pop the top, and chug it, too. Nearly another guzzle later, it’s gone. He crushes the can in his hand, and I’m sure he is trying to show off. I am not majorly impressed. Okay, I’ll admit, it is a little cool. Mostly, though, I only want to roll my eyes at his arrogant gesture.
Crap!
I catch myself watching him and swiftly look away with the words ‘Italian’, and ‘beautiful’ still leaving me speechless.

He starts chuckling, smirking, and counteracting my cheekiness, “It takes a lot to impress me. And, you, Ren, impress the hell outta me.” He winks seductively while opening another beer.

He fucking meant to do that. What a player!

In this minute of being amused, I look away from Stefan, seething with annoyance.
He thinks he can play me? Pfft! We shall see…
I will not give him the benefit of seeing that there is a side of me that finds his challenge cute. I will not admit it, or let him revel in it. Hardly giving him a slice of satisfaction, I just ignore him.

I take a few moments to survey the room, hoping to catch sight of Jade. I am also a tad irritated with her for leaving me alone to flounder. In truth, I can’t blame her. She doesn’t know my situation, only minor details. She is just being herself, and this much is clear to me. I suck in a deep breath!

What the fuck! I have to get out of here – NOW!

I straighten myself. Through placid effort, fighting to remain as unaffected as possible, I say, “Hmm, Italian, I see. Well, you don’t impress me at all. Sorry, not sorry.” I cross my arms over my chest and start walking past him. He won’t know his Mediterranean background is just one more thing that intrigues me about him.

On my way out of the room, I pause beside him and imitate Jade by grabbing his beer from his hand, chug down what is left, and slam the emptied can on the counter beside him. Then, I wink back seductively, rolling the tip of my tongue slowly across my upper lip, whip my head away from him, and trot off. I don’t even give him the chance to respond.

I make it through the crowds of people, swaying and weaving among them, making it to the front door. Just as I am about to step outside with my hand resting on the doorknob, I am calmed by the sound of Jade calling out to me, “Hey! There you are. I was about to come looking for you. Here are my keys. I’m going to crash here tonight...hmm, with Ian.”

She tosses her keys in my direction. As I catch them, her eyes shift toward the dark haired cutie standing slightly to her right, behind her. Her bed buddy for the night. I give her thumbs up while shooting her a ‘what are you doing’ look unable to fathom the
why
behind this one and, really, not even sure I want to know.

“Hey! Don’t judge. I’ve got needs.” She quickly dismisses my vacant expression, “I’ll text you tomorrow if I need you to come get me.” Her eyes offer an apology despite her tone, which provides anything other than one.
She has needs.

I nonchalantly shrug her ‘needs’ off, wave ‘bye’, and yell, “wear a raincoat”. I head out the door toward the car, ready to get back to the dorm and curl up with my Kindle. Pfft!
She is definitely Elle reincarnated
.

The evening replays in my mind as I cross the lawn. His eyes still leave me mesmerized. He haunts my thoughts with each step I take. Jade’s disappearance for most of the night only to reappear just as I’m leaving, offers me nothing more, than pure irritation. Hell, this whole night has been one large annoyance, starting with her. Not to mention, running into the most complicated guy I have yet to experience, and whom I already met once before because we share the same psychiatrist, mixes with my mother’s resounding voice in my head spinning like a broken record, “Baby steps, Ren”. This constant reminder keeps fucking repeating itself. Add to all of this the fact Jade plunged me straight into tonight with her reassurances that it would be the ‘best night ever’, only to leave me stumbling, and admiring the architecture?
Hmpft!
Why did I come here again?
Some “best night ever” Jade, yeah right!
Grr!

I knew I should have just stayed in the dorm reading! I can’t wait to get back and start the new release of a romantic suspense I recently one-clicked. Right now, I just feel like an outcast, and very defeated. I should be getting used to having so many varying emotions. I can only see a thousand miles in front of me as I leave my first attempt at starting over, my first frat party, and first encounter with an Greek god in the dust. I am now finally taking my walk of shame to head home and curl up in bed with a good book. God help me! I pray tomorrow is a brighter day. I can start over, and maybe it will give me the opportunity to take one more step.