Shallow Love (11 page)

“The meat lovers will do and can you bring out a pint of pale ale beer too.”

“Sir, the drinks are ordered over at the bar, I can only take your food order.”

“What the fuck! This is not right, I have to go over to the bar and line up?”

“Sorry, I’ll add it to your order this time, but in future drinks are ordered at the bar,” the terrified staff member responded.

What in the hell was David doing. He had not only changed his hair colour, but his personality. Jackie was feeling nausea, just looking at David acting so immaturely. He came over to the table and what came out of his mouth, was enough to make Jackie want to leave.

“Hey have you got any money on you? I left my wallet in the car?” Suddenly he wanted money and he alternated between his old sweetness and being angry and accusatory a lot of the time.

Jackie handed over a fifty dollar note to him, but she was seething inside. She didn’t believe him for a minute, that he had forgotten his wallet in the car, in fact she saw his wallet in the back pocket of his jeans, as he walked back to the front counter. It seemed this was the new David in full bloom, with his hand up to his elbow in her purse.

What a dickhead she thought, not only did he make a spectacle of himself in a respectable restaurant, but he didn’t even want to pay for dinner. She was no one’s cougar if that’s what he was looking for, Jackie didn’t want to be anyone’s sugar mama. She was not amused by his irrational behaviour and she was no one’s fool.

When the pizza was brought over to the table, David ignored her the whole time, stuffing his face with as much pizza as he could fit into his mouth. She barely had time to eat two pieces, not that she was hungry, but watching David eat like a horse and ignoring her the whole time, didn’t make her feel any better. He seemed more interested in his food, than he did in her and the worst thing was, he had not offered to pay her back for the pizza. He hadn’t even bothered to ask her if she wanted a drink, it was all about him and although in his presence, she had begun to feel alone.

When David stopped eating, he finally took a glimpse of her and what Jackie saw was a look of contempt in his eyes. He wasn’t the loving David she had first met, the kind that cared about his girlfriend and had told her she was sexy and that he is really into her. He didn’t look like he even liked her anymore and after a long pause between them, she couldn’t take it any longer.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asked him.

“I don’t know, but I really don’t like what you are wearing tonight, you look fat?”

He was being rude and mean to her. “I look fat? Did you just say that?” She said, feeling hurt.

“Sorry, but I have to be honest with you.”

He wasn’t even being nice anymore, it was as although everything between them had changed.

Honesty was not always the best policy, if you wanted to avoid offending your girlfriend and the nerve of him to come right out and say such a thing to her. Jackie was now fuming, she couldn’t believe David, the boyfriend whom she had realised she had missed and loved had just said that! And he seemed to have alternated, between abusive and loving and confused her like hell.

Sure she had gained a lot more weight than when they had first met, but wasn’t personality what mattered more in a relationship? She thought David had loved being around her, he had always called her sexy and she thought that he had been into her. Just because your girlfriend gains weight, you don’t call her fat, that is outright mean!

“Well thanks for your honesty, but what you just said to me, doesn’t make me feel any better,” she said maturely.

“Well maybe I haven’t told you before, but I like a woman to look after herself,” he said looking unhappy.

What was David talking about? She had looked after herself her whole life, but sometimes life can stress you out and a family death, can make you lose your self-control. Why was David behaving like a creep tonight, she thought he was a really nice guy, she thought he was really into her, she thought he loved her for herself, what was he turning into? She just couldn’t understand him anymore, she loved him and she thought he was keen on her, she was very attracted to him, but what if he wasn’t feeling that same attraction anymore? What then? What was she going to do? Something about David, had begun to distress her physically and mentally, she was feeling the strain of a failed relationship. But she didn’t want to throw the towel in just yet, she had worked too hard to be with him, he had assured her that he had been in to her and maybe he just had a bad day and everything was just annoying him. She was going to let it go, his rudeness tonight at the restaurant, his impatience and arrogance, his stinginess and his criticism of her. She was just going to let it all slide and hope that it was just a bad day, that David was experiencing and that tomorrow he would be back to his caring old self. She tried to convince herself, that was what love was about, aren’t you supposed to forgive and forget no matter what? After all she didn’t think David would ever act like an immature, arrogant person ever again.

But unfortunately, David
continued to complain on dates, he was always angry at somebody or something, he didn’t hold hands with her or call her sexy. He didn’t look at her like he used to, when she would get this fuzzy feeling inside and start to giggle. He looked mad at her, angry with the world and just plain selfish. It was always about him, when they went out and Jackie wasn’t feeling it anymore. The only thing she enjoyed with him was foreplay in bed and that was even rushed! He had been in a rush to leave and he wouldn’t even stay the night anymore. She had begun to feel used and abused, he hated her wearing make-up, he complained that it made her look old and unattractive. His stinginess on dates were becoming tiresome, he would use the forgotten wallet in the car line, every time. He would even go as far as to ignore her if they went shopping together, afraid that she would make him buy her something and he would often make up excuses, to shop separately.

The tension between them was unbearable, the arguments were constant and his drinking had increased noticeably. He was no longer the dream boyfriend that Jackie had craved, he was not a catch anymore. He wasn’t well mannered, polite or interested, he was a fake boyfriend! That’s what he was and she couldn’t understand how she could have fallen in love with him.

She had been
browsing in a popular shopping centre one afternoon and had caught him out at the supermarket. He was in the cereal aisle chatting with his mates, he was unaware of her presence and that she was listening, as she had her back facing him. He was a good talker by far and she recognised his voice immediately.

“So how is that older bird, you are dating going is she a catch man?” One of his mates had asked him.

David had laughed at his mates interest in his love life, “you don’t want to know buddy, ever since her sister died, she has turned into a beached whale overnight. Her weight has ballooned, her body used to be firm and sexy, now all I see is flab.”

“Well dump her ass man,” laughed his mate. “You are too hot, for an old fat woman?”

“Too right man,” David laughed with him. “I find her repulsive.”

Jackie pushed the supermarket trolley in full speed down the next isle, she felt sick and there was a knot in her stomach the size of a fist. Her knees grew weak, her heart had just been broken in a million pieces and tears were running down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe, that David and his low life mate, could exhibit such cruelty. She couldn’t believe her boyfriend had back stabbed her, in the most horrible way. She had once believed in their love and had really thought that he was the one for her, but little did she know what kind of a jerk, David had turned out to be. It was like a stab in the heart simultaneously, that’s how it had felt, the biggest betrayal of her life.

David was not the kind hearted, caring person she had thought him to be! He was the most unsympathetic human being, she had ever met, a selfish, controlling beast! She was hoping that David would have turned out to be just like Liam, who loved and cared for Carrie, until death did them part.

But David was slime, he didn’t care about her, the way she had hoped he would, his love was shallow and he had done nothing, but berate her about her weight. He had been argumentative and he’d always push her about the same subject.

When Jackie got
back home later that same day, she ran straight into the bathroom to vomit, but she didn’t know what she was vomiting for? She had felt quite ill after David’s gruelling confession to his mates about her flab, but she didn’t know why the nausea persisted. She made a desperate call for an ambulance and she was immediately rushed to hospital, in which she had stayed overnight. They ran some urine and blood tests the next morning and by late afternoon, Jackie had received some unexpected news.

“Are you serious? She asked the nurse who was looking at her test results in front of her.

“You bet I am,” the nurse assured her, “congratulations you are going to be a mum.”

Jackie was stunned and felt faint, but kept her composure, “thank-you,” she said to the nurse, “but I can’t believe this has happened?”

“Well believe it! You are eight weeks pregnant love, my congratulations to the father.”

Jackie’s heart sank! David was the father of her unborn child, they had had regular sex often using protection, except that one time, when the condom was faulty, and had split. It was not like her to be irresponsible when it came to sex, but that must have been the time she had fell pregnant.

“Well, let’s make another appointment,” offered the nurse.

“Of course,” replied Jackie and later left hurriedly, tears streaming down her face.

She was wearing black leggings, a black loose fitting t-shirt and a black leather jacket. And it was going to be another day of mourning for Jackie, as the ugly realisation, that she was carrying David’s baby was shattering.

Chapter Nine

J
ackie didn’t want to think about the father of her unborn child, knowing it was clearly David, but only when hell freezes over! He didn’t know how to be a loving boyfriend, let alone a loving father. No! He didn’t deserve the daddy status! He was never ever, going to know that she was carrying his baby. That was her secret and she would take it to the grave, before her soon to be ex-boyfriend ever found out. She had always wanted a child to fill the mass void in her life, but she would keep her secret, David didn’t deserve to know, not after the way he had treated her. The baby was going to be all hers and she didn’t need him to support her, she was a strong independent woman, who’s worth wasn’t defined by a man. She had struggled to find a man who would meet her emotional needs, but she was going to be there for this child and no one was going to take that happiness away from her.

She made herself a hot cup of organic chai and sat fantasising about, whether it was going to be a girl or a boy. And she couldn’t wait for her first ultra sound, she was both overwhelmed at the prospect of becoming a mother, but also felt anguish, that her child would never know her father. She kept torturing her brain, wondering if she was making the right decision and keeping it from David. But she just couldn’t stop thinking, how he had bad mouthed her to his mates and how repulsed he had felt thinking about her.

She decided to log on to the internet and check out David’s status online and what she discovered, made her puke. David’s previous girlfriends Tara and Bec, had posted something nasty about her on his page. She read it aloud, her hand covering her mouth and she felt ill.

Tara:
I see you are dating a fat chick, I thought you never dated fat chicks, what the fuck David?

Bec:
To think you traded me in for a fat chick named Jackie, hey David isn’t she an old woman too, you loser?

And there it was! Two very offensive comments from David’s former ex-girlfriends, the nerve of those nasty bitches, thought Jackie, as she clicked on their individual timelines and discovered they were both anorexic and ugly. There was nothing appealing about them, only they were a lot younger than her, if that meant anything. They looked scraggy and bordering on aneroxic with piercings all over their bodies and no tits, furious she posted on David’s timeline in an act of revenge.

Jackie :
Who wants to date a bag of bones, with no boobs, nasty bitches!

And there it was the sweetest revenge of all, she couldn’t care less what David thought, as far as she was concerned, their relationship was one big mistake! The only miraculous thing, to come out of this whole scenario, was her unplanned pregnancy.

She felt a sense of relief, that she had discovered what an asshole David was, rather than finding out, too late. She had stopped taking pharmaceuticals, ever since she had found out she was expecting. She had always thought she would never become a mother, given her track record with men, but life had a way of surprising her. She was feeling an inner peace inside her, one of warmth and love, knowing that she was carrying a child. She was watching her weight now and she felt a sense of responsibility, for her unborn child to look after herself. She had cut out the fatty foods and added fresh fruit and vegetables to her diet. She was drinking more water, to help keep any hunger at bay. She wanted to be healthy, for the well being of her child and she knew if she didn’t watch what she ate, it would be harder to lose weight, after the baby was born.