Shadows Amongst Light (The Spy Who Loves Me) (19 page)

             
I was not to be so lucky. Gladys was nowhere around this morning.

             
I left a sleeping Bo in the car windows cracked and sat in the same booth that I’d used that one night.

             
When my waitress brought my coffee, I asked her about Gladys. The look on her face told me that something had happened that she didn’t want to share.

             
“She works the late shift.” I said thinking that maybe she was new and just didn’t know Gladys. “I was in the other night just before closing and she was here?”

             
“I know who she is, miss. It’s just that...well Gladys passed away a few days ago.” I saw her tears before she reached inside her apron and picked up a napkin to wipe them away. “She was my best friend. I still can’t believe she’s gone.”

             
“Oh, I’m so sorry...” I said but my words sounded empty somehow. “She was a wonderful lady. She helped me to realize...” I couldn’t finish those words, couldn’t tell this girl that I still remembered everything Gladys had said to me. For the first time since I’d run away from my past I felt strong. I didn’t need to run anymore. I knew where my life was heading and what it had cost me to get here.

             
“Thank you for saying so, miss.” The young girl said filling my coffee cup before walking away.

             
I drank my coffee slowly, and thought about Gladys and her lost love. I wondered if the man she loved and lost ever thought about her. Ever considered coming back for her. I was surprised to find that I was crying silent tears that I was embarrassed to admit I couldn’t seem to stop. Remembering Noah and the love we had shared together made me sadder than I’d ever imagined.

             
I couldn’t let anyone see my weakness but I couldn’t keep from asking the waitress about Gladys’ boyfriend as I paid my bill.

             
“I don’t think he came, miss. I doubt that he even knew about her passing. I mean it had been years since they talked. Since she came back to live here in fact, all those years ago. It’s kind of sad to think about, isn’t it miss? I mean only having one love in your life and giving it up when you were so young. For this?”

             
I couldn’t find an answer for her. I tried to smile as I lifted my hand in a gesture of silent goodbye before leaving the diner.

             
When I got into the car, I cried all the way back to my house.

*****

              Back home in Eagle’s Bluff, the temperature had dropped considerably. Even though it was still summer in most of the country, it was well into the freezing temperatures this high in the mountains. There was a dusting of fresh snow around the house and in the trees as I parked the SUV n the drive and unpacked our things.

             
I watched while Bo sniffed around the place as if looking for something. I found myself after dumping my overnight bag inside the door searching for some evidence that someone had been there in my absence. But there was nothing.

             
“Maybe its okay, Bo.” I didn’t really believe my own words but that didn’t stop me from slipping quietly inside the house without turning on any lights.

             
The first thing that I did was check each and every room in the place looking for some sign that something wasn’t, as it should. Nothing was out of place.

             
And then I logged onto my computer did a quick test to make sure it hadn’t been tampered with since I’d been gone and then I couldn’t keep from checking my email. There was nothing but more silence from Noah and no help from The Organization or Matt. I was alone.

             
I checked my website, where I found dozens of responses mostly from women telling me how much they appreciated the advice I had posted there. For the first time in a long time I felt that I’d bone something positive with my life and with the experience I’d gained while working with The Organization. I spent the rest of the day trying not to think about what lay ahead for me tonight. I lost myself in answering all the responses and dealing with someone else’s problems for once.

             
By mid afternoon I was stiff from sitting in one position all day so I took Bo and went for a walk.

             
By evening I was restless and nervous expecting the worse but determined not to fall asleep and find myself vulnerable to Davis again.

             
By midnight after several pots of coffee that were now working on my stomach, I felt that familiar warning at the base of my spin. I knew Davis was close.

             
The second Bo started to freak I reached for my weapon.

             
“So you figured it out.” I heard the resignation in his voice and turned to him. He looked different somehow from the last time I’d seen him in D.C. Less confident and definitely not sure what to expect from me.

             
“Why are you here, Davis? What do you want from me?”

             
He took a step closer before spotting the gun. Davis shook his head sadly and I could I almost read his thoughts.

             
“We’re back to this again Cameron?”

             
“We never got beyond this Davis because I don‘t trust you,” I told him, coming to a stop close enough to see his surprise. I wasn’t the woman he was expecting to find here. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. “Now, you have exactly ten seconds to tell me what you want before I shoot. And you know that I will, don’t you Davis?”

             
“Yes,” he said slowly with a mixture of shock and admiration. “Yes, I know you’re very capable. The Organization must miss your talents a lot.”

             
“Whatever you’re trying to do you can just forget it. The only reason your still standing is because I want some answers from you.”

             
“And if I chose not to give them?”

             
“I don’t think you want to make that choice, Davis? Do you?” I saw him smile, he was enjoying our little cat and mouse game. Right before I took him by complete surprise and got an unexpected jump on him. Before Davis really knew what hit him he was laying face down on the floor of my great room with Bo barking madly next to him. I pulled the handcuffs from their hiding place behind my back and had them securely in place. By the time I was finished I expected a slightly different attitude from Davis. But I was to be disappointed.

             
“Cameron, as much fun as I can imagine this game being between us, don’t you think this is overkill? I mean if I were going to hurt you don’t you think I would have done so before now. You’ve certainly given me enough opportunities.”

             
That direct reference to all my failures was not the answer or the attitude I was looking for from him. I stuck the gun close to his head with my knees still dug into his back.

             
“Enough with the smart-ass remarks Davis. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re not in control anymore.” As bad as I hated to admit it, I knew this guy could take me easily enough if he wanted to.

             
“Dammit, Cameron, that hurt,” he told me trying not to laugh. Davis’s ever so slight, disturbing accent reminded me of the first time I’d spoken to him. I’d been pointing my weapon at him then.

             
For reasons that I didn’t want to delve too deeply into with me sitting on top of him and Davis sprawled across my great room rug, I did a quick check and found he was carrying two weapons on his person. I tossed them across the room where they landed on my sofa before ordering him to his feet.

             
We stood facing each other, Davis a good foot taller than me. Those almost ice blue eyes of his going slowly over me as if trying to decide what was different about me. Instinctively I tugged my loose sweatshirt further over my stomach and tried to keep from blushing. I was so screwed up at that moment. I was actually finding myself attracted to Davis. I really had been alone too long.

             
“So?” he asked and smiled. He knew exactly what I was thinking and that pissed me off to no end.

             
“So what?” I said trying not to show any emotion.

             
“So what do we do next? As much fun as I’m finding this little game of yours, I can think of better ways to use the handcuffs.”

             
Those were not the words I needed to hear from him or any other man right now. Especially not delivered in that soft seductive way. Especially not with those blue eyes doing very bad things to my will power.

             
“You can forget that Davis. I‘m married.”

             
“Really, where is he then? Where’s Noah?”

             
“How do you know his name?” I barely got those words out.

             
“I know everything about you Cameron. Every little intimate detail. I’ve made you my passion.”

             
“I still love Noah, Davis--whatever you think. I’ll always love Noah.”

             
“He’s gone Cameron. I’m not. I’m here. How can you give up the rest of your life, your happiness for a man that can walk away from you so easily?”

             
“I won’t talk about Noah with you Davis. And I won’t answer any more of your questions. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re really not in the position to be calling the shots here,” I told him somehow bringing my reaction to his familiarity with Noah under control before I stepped close enough for him to see how serious I was. “Now, I want to know how you know Noah?”

             
“And I want you? So where does that leave us?” he told me without blinking an eye.

             
I took another step closer, close enough to hear his breath catch at my nearness. I hated that I was just as aware of him as a man. “Cut the crap, Davis,” I told him right before he reached for me, sending the gun in my hands flying across the room. I was caught so off guard that all I could do was try to fight him off as he pulled me close.

             
“The cuffs were standard police issue. I learned how to get out of them when I was still a rookie.” Davis whispered against my ear and I froze. Who was this guy if he was this trained in all the ways of escaping law enforcement.

             
But just before I could ask him that, Davis’s hands circled my waist and his eyes met mine. I was that he’d guessed it. What he’d been trying to figure out since he saw me. Davis now knew the truth.

             
“You’re pregnant?” he asked a little breathless his eyes holding mine. “You’re pregnant,” he said again when I didn’t answer and all I could do was shake my head.

             
“He doesn’t know does he?” I didn’t need to ask Davis who he meant. I knew he was talking about Noah.

             
“No, he doesn’t know,” I told him quietly.

             
“Why Cameron? Why didn’t you tell him?”

             
At the gentling in Davis’s eyes, I lost it. I started to cry before I pulled away from him and he let me.

             
“I couldn’t. I didn’t want him to be with me because of it.” I said at last.

             
“You really believe that would be the only reason?” Davis asked right before he tossed the cuffs aside and stood before me waiting silently.

             
“Yes, I guess I do. I mean he hasn’t tried to contact me since he left.” I bravely met his eyes.

             
“Maybe it wasn’t possible. The reports, about...” Davis didn’t finish. There was no need. I knew exactly what he was talking about. “You don’t believe they’re real I take it?”

             
“No, I don’t. I know Noah too well. He’s not dead. He just doesn’t want to be with me.”

             
“Oh Cameron...” Davis whispered quietly before coming close to me to touch my face. “There are so many things I could say to you. So many things that I want to say to you. If I were truly the person your husband believes me to be I would tell you that I’ve thought of nothing but you since I met you. That I want you more than I ever wanted another before you,” Davis told me and then smiled at my shocked reaction to those words. “If I were truly the person Noah believes. But I’m not.”

             
“It doesn’t matter what you are Davis. I love Noah. I can’t be with you or anyone else even if I could trust you. That part of my life is over.” I moved away before I let his nearness change my mind. Before I gave into all the forgotten desires inside of me.

             
“I need to stay with you Cameron,” he told me and I tried to read some meaning into those words beyond what he wanted me to believe was the obvious. “Will you let me stay with you?”