Shades of Atlantis (18 page)

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Authors: Carol Oates

BOOK: Shades of Atlantis
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He brushed his lips against mine and took my hand, leading me back to the sofa. I was a bit wobbly; even the lightest kiss could do that. He moved the book to the ottoman and pulled me down on top of him. I leaned my back against his chest. Caleb put one leg up on the sofa and wrapped his arms around me.

Merlin traveled extensively and found the sword in Greece, where it had been left for safe keeping. Nobody knows how, exactly He paused, thinking for a moment. He was already a leader to his own people, but he was ambitious and craved more power power over all mankind. He kissed my hair before continuing. When he returned to England, he hand-picked the child, Arthur. Knowing his reputation as an alchemist had spread and he himself would never be accepted as a rightful heir to the throne, he used a spell to place the sword in the stone, allowing Arthur to claim the kingdom —

So Merlin used Arthur? I asked, gazing at his long fingers and smooth rounded nails, treading mine through them, making steeples then flatting my palm against his.

Yes, he used him to control as many humans as possible. But like all power-hungry people, no matter how much control he gained, he always wanted more. The other leaders of his kind grew weary of his constant attempts to overthrow them, and eventually they dealt with him and he was replaced. They were not people to trifle with. He spent his remaining years a prisoner, trapped in stone. Fitting, really. He laughed once, blackly.

I shuddered. The way Caleb relayed the story it did almost sound real. I found myself getting caught up in the way he told it with such fervor. So what happened to the sword?

Some books say it was destroyed, Caleb said, but I don’t believe that.

It would take someone very special to do that. I think it’s still out there somewhere, but no one really knows.

I frowned and sighed. Caleb tightened his arms around me.

And the others? The ones like Merlin, what happened to them? I couldn’t believe I was asking.

They’re around, he replied flatly.

It was deathly quiet for an excruciating minute, only the sound of the fire crackling, and then I giggled. You almost had me going there. I almost believed the entire thing.

 

Caleb chuckled, his warm breath brushed the side of my cheek making me shiver, and I snuggled back into him, twisting my body so I could lie against his chest and listen to his heart.

Are you cold? Caleb whispered against my hair.

No, I murmured. I’ve never been better.

I must have fallen asleep then, enclosed in his arms with his heartbeat lulling me. When I woke, breathing in his smell, the flickering fire had almost faded completely. Caleb’s breathing was so quiet, if it hadn’t been for the slow rising and falling of his chest, I wouldn’t have been sure he was breathing at all. I shifted carefully, trying not to disturb him from his peaceful slumber.

You’re very beautiful when you sleep, he whispered, stroking my hair.

So much for not waking him.

I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you. I repositioned myself so I could rest my chin on my hands and look up to him. The room was dim, and I could see his face, but not as clearly as I would have liked.

It’s okay; I’m more of a night person anyway. He smiled, sending his fragrant breath over my face.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. What time is it? I asked lazily before opening my eyes again.

It’s past one in the morning. Happy New Year. I pushed myself up sharply to look at him. I’d forgotten it was New Year’s Eve. Time didn’t seem to have any meaning here; the only time that counted now was the time I spent away from Caleb.

It is, I agreed, grinning and curling myself into him again as I stifled a yawn.

Time for bed, Caleb said in a hushed voice as he kissed my hair.

I didn’t want to move an inch. Being with Caleb right there was like one of the fairytales I’d never believed in, my very own happy ending. I desperately wanted to hang onto it just a little longer. He was my knight in shining armor, come to whisk me away into the sunset well, London, but sunset sounded better in my head.

No, I moaned. I’m not tired. Let’s just stay here a bit longer — Then I yawned again. Caleb’s chest rattled underneath me when he chuckled.

Tell me another story, I pleaded, trying to stretch the moment out further. Not that I had any intention of allowing him to leave me alone in the enormous bed in his bedroom, unless he had views about sleeping alongside me. But the moment was too perfect to disturb just yet. Tell me something about you.

What do you want to know? His voice was hushed.

I paused for a few seconds to deliberate. There was still so much I wanted to ask, but I didn’t know how to without shifting his mood in another direction. Then again, maybe while he was so relaxed —

Why did you go to New York? I started and then took a deep breath steeling myself for his response.

There was none, only silence. He didn’t even breathe for what felt the longest time. My own lungs started to burn, but I couldn’t force myself to look up to him. I knew there would be fierce apprehension in the deep pools of his eyes. Finally when he spoke, his voice was velvet smooth and filled with grief.

This thing I can’t tell you, Triona, he said quietly. It’s a secret, but it’s not only my secret.

My heart thumped once. Secret? I scoffed in mock joviality. No such thing as secrets with Amanda around. I’d broken the spell . Our perfect moment was over.

Caleb sighed deeply. I lifted my head to look at him, frustrated at my own impatience. He was staring at the ceiling with a tortured expression.

Caleb, I murmured, my voice sounding strangled as it passed my lips, urging him to let me in. His heartbeat was a slow steady thud beneath me, and I struggled to keep mine to its pace.

I’ve done a terrible thing, he whispered. More than one, and I’m afraid others will have to suffer the consequences for my selfishness in the end. I pushed myself away from him and sat up with my legs crossed, holding onto my feet with both hands to stop them trembling. Tell me, I demanded, but it sounded weak and not like a demand at all , more like begging. I wished I’d never asked.

Caleb continued to stare upward. I can’t. Not yet, I’m not sure ever — His words trailed off, thick with misery.

I frowned, looking down at my feet. What could be such a big secret?

My mind flashed back to the night in the restaurant with Chris, and my glimpse of Caleb’s temper. I peeked up at him from under my eyelashes, not lifting my head. You didn’t kill someone, did you? As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew it was ludicrous. Caleb didn’t have a bad bone in his entire body of that, I was sure but killing someone was the worst thing I could think of.

 

Caleb’s eyes suddenly blazed with a furious intensity. For a split second I doubted myself. I thought he was about to say yes. I was sure my heart stopped beating, and then his eyes tightened and became guarded.

No, I didn’t kill anyone, he said darkly. I’m selfish and greedy. I’ve given up so much so we could be together, and I’ve asked so much of my family. Now the very things that allow us to be together — I feel I don’t deserve you. Caleb’s voice was dark and brooding. If it had come from any other source it would have scared me.

No, I wailed and flung myself into his arms. Enough with the cryptic answers, and don’t you ever, ever say that. I didn’t live — my heart didn’t beat until the moment we met. I love you.

Caleb’s arms clenched around me, his lips brushed against my ear. I love you too. I could no more live without you than I could without my heart. He paused, breathing deeply. That’s why I need to ask you to do something for me.

Anything, I swore, regretting immediately that I didn’t ask what I was promising first when I felt him flinch. He was going to ask me to do something he knew would be difficult. So it seemed he could ask me to do something difficult, but I couldn’t ask a few simple questions. I pulled back to look at his face; his eyes were agonized.

I need you to trust me, Triona. Can you do that? he asked, his brow creasing. That was easy enough, and I nodded silently, relieved he didn’t ask me to help him hide a dead body. Of course I trusted him blindly, apparently. That went without saying.

I want you to promise you won’t ask me what happened when I was away, and the other questions

What questions? I interrupted, irritated that he could see right through me and displeased at myself for letting him coerce me into not pushing for answers so easily.

The ones all over your face right now, Caleb said uneasily. His expression was too hard to read.

I sat back from him and rubbed my right thigh just above my knee. I thought trust went both ways. I scowled at him, now completely livid. He absolutely tricked me into to this, expecting my trust without giving his.

Caleb moved closer to me and placed his hand over mine, sending shivers coursing up my arm, and began twisting a lock of my hair around one of his long golden fingers. I do trust you, implicitly. I turned my head away from him, yanking out a few hairs as I did.

 

As I’ve already told you, it’s not only my secret to share, not yet. His voice was intentionally persuasive.

He knew I would be a pushover, a complete wimp unable to stick to any conviction. What did the truth matter? I’d already agreed to wait, and after all I just promised anything. I was always so — unobservant, as Jen had put it. Would it really hurt to turn a blind eye to the things I saw? Of course I knew Caleb was different; I’d known all along there was something exceptional about him, something phenomenal. Maybe that was enough.

I promise, he murmured close to my ear, his warm breath skimming my neck. If you can do what I ask, I will explain when the time is right. That did it, confirmed what I already knew — I would give in.

Fine, I promise, I answered reluctantly. I probably didn’t need to say the words; I was sure the surrender was written all over my face.

Caleb smiled awkwardly, and he almost looked sad. I narrowed my eyes, scrutinizing his expression. I had agreed to his request. Maybe he didn’t really want me to agree. Maybe he was secretly hoping I would force him to unload his burden. He sensed my conflict, and his eyes were instantly guarded again before he leaned in and, cupping his hand at the back of my neck, kissed me. My fingers entwined in his hair again, and I couldn’t breathe or think straight except to realize that was the purpose behind the kiss. Caleb was distracting me an extremely pleasant form of distraction, I had to admit and it was working. Questions didn’t feel very important anymore; the secret he promised to share didn’t matter. It only mattered that we were together and that his hot breath and soft lips were tracing a line down my neck, sending the blood racing though my body and making my heart pound unevenly.

Chapter 8

Destiny

I stretched, waking from a deep peaceful sleep, my eyes still shut tight. It took a few moments for my groggy brain to register that I wasn’t in my own bed, but when I yawned, my head swam with the woody, fresh scent of a forest, and I remembered exactly where I was. I must have slept heavily, because the last thing I recalled clearly was lying curled against Caleb on the couch. I didn’t remember going to bed; he must have carried me after I fell asleep. I didn’t want to open my eyes. I wasn’t ready for the morning yet.

Good morning.

I didn’t answer and kept my eyes closed, trying hopelessly to stop the flow of time.

I know you’re awake.

I could hear the smile in Caleb’s smooth voice and could feel his warm breath against my face when he spoke. I turned toward the sound of his voice and pressed my hands together under my cheek, blinking my eyes open.

It was so unfair; he looked perfect first thing in the morning. It wasn’t normal. Caleb propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at me with bright gleaming eyes.

I don’t think I am awake yet. I’m still dreaming, I sighed happily.

Caleb lightly skimmed one finger down the length of my face and over my jaw. I was just thinking the same thing.

Maybe I’m not the one suffering delusions, in that case, I said sarcastically. I knew what I looked like in the morning. I’d seen the horror enough times in the mirror.

 

Caleb gave me a disparaging look and then sighed. I wish you could see yourself though my eyes.

Maybe it’s time for you to take a trip to the optometrist?

I have perfect vision, he informed me smugly.

Before I could say anything else, Caleb reached out and pulled me to him, wrapping me in his arms against his chest and tucking me snugly under his chin. I inhaled his warmth and felt him press his lips against my hair. I felt an inexplicable surge of panic and clung to him, burying my face in the material of his T-shirt, trying desperately to make sense of the thoughts that were rushing through my brain. Caleb’s hand rubbed up and down my arm reassuringly; I was sure he could hear my heart pounding harder. Every breath he took made the panic worse, and when he held me tighter, the shivers made my heart ache. He shifted and lifted my chin so he could look at me. His eyes narrowed, considering what I was sure was the pained expression on my face.

What is it?

I couldn’t breathe. I scrunched my eyes shut, but it only made the pain worse. I opened them again to Caleb’s concerned eyes.

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