Shades of Atlantis (13 page)

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Authors: Carol Oates

BOOK: Shades of Atlantis
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Even if we were, there was only a three year age gap, and Caleb was hardly a bum. Maybe the work thing bothered them or Ben had ratted me out and they knew about his girlfriend still, we weren’t dating. Why was he here anyway, if not to torment me further? Not very nice when I was injured and couldn’t run away. I peeked up at him.

Caleb, why are you doing this? Looking out for me? I asked suspiciously before placing the rose into the empty glass on my bedside table.

You seem to need it.

 

I stayed silent for a few moments. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all, I reminded myself. I looked up at him again, and he smiled briefly.

Don’t take offense, he warned. Why did people always say that right before they say something they know is going to cause offense?

What? I pressed dryly.

I really don’t know myself why I’m doing it, he confessed. Ours is an unorthodox situation. He kept his voice light. Haven’t you noticed the effect you have on people around you? The rhythm of his voice made it hard to breathe.

My eyes flashed to his face, his golden skin gleamed and his eyes shimmered, the corners creasing with his smile. I was dumbfounded that he of all people was asking me that.

I have no idea what you’re talking about. My blood was going to boil over if I didn’t cool down soon. What difference would it make if he saw my pajamas anyway? I didn’t really care as much anymore, so I flung the quilt off to the side and felt much better.

Caleb stifled a chuckle but said nothing about my sleeping attire. I refused to comment. It was none of his business. Instead, I grimaced at him until he continued.

You’re like the center of gravity to the people around you. It’s like you are the light in their universe, or a magnetic force surrounds you, pulling people in. I have to admit it affected me too.

That’s ridiculous, I scoffed, rubbing my leg. But I had to admit, I had felt the irresistible magnetic force between us too. You can talk. His eyes narrowed at me. You really don’t see it, do you? I shook my head. He looked embarrassed for a moment.

I know the effect I have. Sometimes it’s useful, I admit, but sometimes it’s harder, when you can’t be sure if someone — but it’s part of wha who I am. Caleb stood again and started to pace around my room; he really couldn’t stay still for any length of time at all. Was he nervous?

Your friends and family, he said, returning to his explanation. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and continued to pace. They circle you.

 

Today for example, people just dropped what they were doing to take care of you, and those who didn’t come rushing to help, watched. You draw people to you. They don’t notice why, they don’t even care why, but they just need to be near you.

I’d never thought about it that way, though I had noticed that everyone always watched out for me. I assumed it was because they didn’t think I was capable of taking care of myself. Caleb looked contemplative, his eyebrows knitted in concentration.

I’ve never seen another human being do that, he whispered, so low I felt I was intruding on his private thoughts. He stopped at the foot of my bed, holding onto the top bar. Triona, I know how you feel about me. I didn’t know it was possible to flush deeper than I was already, but I accomplished it. Maybe you should just go, Caleb. I’m really tired. I cringed, feeling totally humiliated.

Caleb’s tone was filled with affection when he spoke. You’re right, you need to rest, but we need to clear this up first. My head was starting to reel, and I yawned, throwing my hand over my wide-open mouth. I had slept all evening; how could I be sleepy? Caleb sat down and inched the seat nearer to my bed, his scent filling the room.

Triona, I was trying to tell you something before, when we drove up Mount Battie, but I see now I wasn’t very clear. I remember. I thought he was saying he was blinded by me.

I was, he said softly. Are you okay?

Oh no, did I say that out loud? My eyelids were so heavy, and Caleb was getting fuzzy around the edges. Did he say he was blinded by me? I blinked, trying to focus on him.

I feel s-strange, I mumbled. Then it hit me. The pills. I blinked again and shook my head, feeling like my brain was rattling around inside. Caleb, what is going on with us?

His brow creased and I think his jaw tightened. I fought sleep with long deep breaths.

Maybe we should do this tomorrow after all, he suggested.

No. I reached out to him. Please I can’t wait. Caleb took my hand.

I loved how his skin felt, so soft.

Thank you, he said smugly. I had spoken out loud again. His eyes were deep swirling pools of blue — blurred pools. But I was still there, still fighting sleep.

 

Triona, this can wait. I want to be sure you understand this time.

I will understand. Please. I slurred a little.

Fine, he agreed reluctantly. You are all I think about. I can’t breathe when I’m near you. I think — no, I know I love you. My heart tried to speed up, I was sure of it. But like the rest of me, it was too relaxed to react to Caleb’s declaration.

That’s nice, Caleb, I murmured softly. I couldn’t see him anymore. The room had gone black were my eyes closed? New York? I heard Caleb chuckle, and his hand squeezed mine lightly. I’m sure my mother will find it amusing to be mistaken for my girlfriend.

Mother, I mumbled. I think I smiled.

I was talking about you to her. When I told you I was off the market, it was because the moment I met you, I knew you were the one I was meant to be with, you crazy, beautiful girl.

I couldn’t focus. I could barely feel the soft warm skin of his hand on mine anymore.

You’re out of your mind, I breathed.

Something soft touched my lips, and I could taste Caleb’s sweet breath.

Highly probable, but I do love you, Caleb murmured. I’ll be here tomorrow.

Hmmm, I sighed happily.

 

It was a fitful induced sleep I entered then. Throughout the night, I had half dreams of beautiful golden angels fighting battles over a tiny baby.

My mother and father were there trying to protect it, this tiny placid baby swaddled in a red blanket on the grass. Caleb was there too, and Ben. I could hear Lewis and Carmel arguing from a distance. Carmel was sobbing, but I couldn’t see them. They were talking about Ben and me, about keeping us hidden. Carmel kept saying again and again that Caleb was dangerous.

Lewis hushed her, telling her Caleb couldn’t know. He couldn’t know what?

Then I remembered Caleb telling me he loved me, his soft lips brushing mine. He scent was all around me; it still filled my room, and I drifted into a deep dreamless sleep.

 

I woke with a start the next morning, my mind still swirling with memories. Caleb had been here, I remembered as I turned to the vase sitting on my desk. That much wasn’t a dream. I wasn’t sure about the rest of it. Did Caleb really say the things I thought he did? Or was that the product of the pills combined with an active imagination? My dubious brain wouldn’t allow me to believe the answer I wanted just yet.

I noticed that my ankle hardly ached at all anymore. Maybe a good night’s sleep was exactly what I needed after all , although I still couldn’t work out what the idea behind knocking me out was. Was it an accident?

Did Lewis give me the wrong pills? Or was I blowing it out of proportion and they had just been the painkillers Dr. Swanson prescribed? According to the clock on my bedside table, it was ten-thirty. I never slept that late.

The glass containing the single flower was still there.

I looked down to my injured ankle. The swelling over my toes seemed to be almost completely gone. I wiggled my toes tentatively; it didn’t hurt.

The wrapping around my ankle was too tight to attempt to rotate my foot, so I sat up fully so I could reach the bandage and slowly began to unwind it. My eyes widened with astonishment; did I sleep more than one night?

The skin was a little squashed-looking and had taken on the texture of the tightly wrapped bandage, but the blue and purplish tone hadn’t developed like I expected. There was still a mottled bruise on my skin, but it was mostly yellow, more like a week old than a day old. I moved my foot gently to check for pain, and found it stiff and uncomfortable but not painful. I’d be up walking around in a day or so. A light rap on the door disturbed me.

Yeah?

Ben poked his head around the door but didn’t come in. Hey.

What day is it? I asked.

Are you sure you didn’t land on your head? He laughed. I scowled.

It’s Thursday, he finished, exasperated by my apparent lack of humor this morning.

I looked back down to my foot, still confounded but pleased by the lack of bruising, and wiggled my toes again. I was about to say my injury wasn’t as bad as everyone thought when Ben asked, What did you do to the parentals last night?

What?

I was over at Jonathan’s last night, and Lewis called to say I should stay there to give you some peace and quiet. Then Carmel got on the phone and started telling me how much she loves me.

 

I rolled my eyes. She’s always telling us that.

Not like this, Ben chuckled. I think Lewis had to wrestle the phone away from her.

So, it wasn’t just me that was on the receiving end of the bizarre behavior last night. She did seem much better today, he added. I have to make sure you’re fed and watered while they’re at work. What can I get you? Ben’s culinary skil’s were extremely limited, but I was feeling hungry.

It occurred to me now that I hadn’t actually eaten since breakfast yesterday.

Surprise me. I knew I was taking a chance. Ben’s eyebrows raised in amazement at the trust I was placing in him, gastronomically speaking.

I’m gonna take a shower.

Do you need any help? Ben asked, looking terrified that I would say yes.

I swung my legs off the side of the bed and, keeping my weight on my uninjured leg, pushed myself to standing. Then I gingerly placed my bad foot on the floor, not wanting to risk any further damage. I think I can manage, I assured a relieved Ben sarcastically.

I felt a lot better after a hot shower, even if it was short due to awkwardly standing mostly on one leg. I dried my hair before putting on a pair of gray track bottoms and a sweatshirt with Windjammers, our school sports team, emblazoned across the front. I was propped up on the bed again, ready to rewrap my leg, when there was another tap on the door.

Come on in. I presumed it would be Ben with my breakfast, but it was Amanda carrying a tray.

Hey, how are you? She kicked the door lightly with her foot to close it and put the tray down on my desk, noting the flowers with a cocked head.

She’d brought up cereal, eggs, toast, and juice, and since it looked edible, I guessed she’d made it herself.

Oh, I’m fine, I grumbled. I just have to rest. She sat down on the bed, taking the bandage out of my hand, and began to wrap my ankle. It doesn’t look too bad, she commented.

It’s really not, I agreed. I’m sorry if I messed up your day. She glanced up at me from under her eyelashes, continuing to wind the bandage around my ankle. Really, Triona, don’t worry about it. It’s not as if you did it on purpose, she chuckled. Or did you? She glanced up again with a faked suspicious expression.

I laughed. Even I wouldn’t go that far to avoid something. Amanda finished with my leg and then helped me raise it back onto the stack of pillows again before going to retrieve the tray. Don’t worry, I made it. Ben was burning Pop Tarts when I got here. She smiled as she laid the tray across me and sat down on the end of my bed.

I picked up some toast straight away, hungrier now with the tray of food in front of me.

Phew! That Caleb Wallace is hot! She grinned, fanning her hand in front of her face.

Instantly my face burned. I nodded and took a gulp of the juice.

So did he come over? she probed, taking in my flushed cheeks with narrowed eyes.

I nodded again, as my mouth was full of toast.

Are you going to tell me or not? she asked impatiently while I dug into the eggs.

I took another sip of juice. Amanda’s expression was growing more tetchy by the second.

Okay, don’t laugh, I warned her.

Her brow furrowed in confusion. What?

I remember the start of the conversation, but the end is a bit fuzzy. I think Lewis and Carmel drugged me.

Amanda threw her head back, laughing. Why would they do that? I took another forkful of eggs, turning over in my mind the possible reasons they could have. I think it might have been to get rid of Caleb.

Paranoid much? That’s crazy. Amanda scoffed.

I considered it some more, but my mind kept coming back to the looks Lewis shot Caleb and the same conclusion.

Amanda inclined her head toward the roses. Are they from him?

Yeah, I said hesitantly, gazing over at the beautiful blooms.

Spill it, she demanded.

I’m almost positive he said he’s in love with me. I laughed; it sounded so strange saying it out loud after the way things had been between us the last few months.

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