Sex Secrets of an American Geisha (25 page)

EATING TIPS

Pick a weight loss goal of either five or ten pounds. When you reach and stay at that weight for a few weeks, choose another five-or ten-pound goal. Continue until you reach your most beautiful and healthy weight.

• Try any diet plan, if you like, but be aware that fad diets and those that are overly restrictive rarely work for the long term. People tend to gain weight once they go off them. Some diets even have atten dant health risks. The best plan is to eat in a balanced, sensible way that restricts calories. Or don’t follow any particular diet. Just be sure to record your weight and exercise activities each day.
  
• “Calories in, calories out”—You must understand that all diets obey a fundamental law of physics: If you take in fewer calories in a day than you burn (no matter whether the calories are in the form of carbohydrates, fats, or protein), you will lose weight that day. Conversely, take in more calories than you burn up, and you’ll gain weight that day. It really is that simple. You must know and believe this basic truth. The difference between “calories in” and “calories out” dictates whether you lose or gain weight each day of your life, whether or not you are “on a diet.”The only “diet” you need should be a combination of taking in fewer calories (by eating less) and burning up more calories (by exercising more and raising your me tabolism). Forget everything else you’ve heard about diets. Just eat (somewhat) less and exercise (somewhat) more, and watch the pounds fall off of your frame, revealing a thinner, shapelier, sexier you. There are thirty-five hundred calories to one pound of body weight. So if you decrease your food intake by, for instance, fifteen hundred calories per week and increase your expenditure of energy by two thousand calories per week, you’ll lose one pound per week. The laws of physics make that promise, not I.
  
• Get your “daily five” servings of fruits and vegetables. Although nu trition and diet experts don’t always agree about the ratio of fat to protein to carbohydrate people should eat, one thing they all agree on is the necessity of consuming lots of fresh fruits and veggies. These so-called super foods contain loads of vitamins and minerals, health-boosting antioxidants, and natural sources of fiber. And, as a bonus, they help to fill you up while providing relatively few calo ries. Try eating a large green salad before dinner (with lemon juice in place of fatty dressing, please), and you’ll find it much easier to avoid overdoing it on the fried chicken or cheesy lasagna.
  
• The best time to weigh yourself is after you get up and use the bathroom in the morning, before you eat breakfast. You’ll be at your lightest.
  
• If you wish, you may weigh yourself more than once a day. If you weigh less than you did previously, cross out the “old” weight for the day and write in the lower number. If you weigh more than pre viously, don’t change anything on the chart. Record your lowest weight each day.
  
• When you are tempted to snack, first have a glass of water, plain tea, black coffee, chicken/beef bouillon, or a diet soft drink. A zero-calorie beverage may satisfy you for a bit and make you forget about food.
  
• Iced beverages and cold food burn calories because the body uses energy to raise the temperature of the drink or food to your body temperature (98.6° F). If you sleep in a cold room, you burn calo ries just to keep your body temperature stable.
  
• Learn to love black coffee or plain tea, with no sugar or milk. If you drink caffeinated coffee, tea, or diet soft drinks, limit your intake to a maximum of three servings per day.
  
• In the office, at home, or while out and about, only eat when you’re seated in a chair. No eating on the sofa, in bed, while walking, or in the car.
  
• Don’t engage in any other activities while you eat. No reading, working, watching TV, or surfing the Internet.
  
• Since we tend to finish whatever we see in front of us, including large portions, eat only in small portion sizes. Use a bread plate in stead of a dinner plate when you serve yourself a meal. Eat whatever you like, but only half as much as you think you want. Super-size portions tend to be most Americans’ biggest dietary downfall, so this is a very important tip.
  
• Relearn to pay attention to your body’s satiety (fullness) signals. Wait to eat until you are truly hungry. Eat slowly. Then stop when you are satisfied, before you have stuffed yourself.
  
• Especially when you are out with others or on a date, eat more like a bird than a ravenous lioness. Be proud of your healthy, balanced eat ing habits.
  
• Watch out for problem snacking times, like midmorning or after work or between dinner and bedtime. Eliminate them entirely, or substitute a better snack, such as a piece of fresh fruit and a steam ing cup of green tea for the pastry and coffee with cream and sugar you may now favor.
  
• If you are tempted into extra eating, try unloading your feelings in a journal rather than smothering their expression with inappropriate food. By learning to avoid eating as a way of dealing with your feel ings, you gain the added benefit of becoming emotionally healthier.
  
• Eat fast food only as an infrequent treat, once every month or two. Watch the movie Super Size Me for motivation to stay clear of those places. Have you ever noticed that if you take the “s” out of “fast food,” you have “fat food”? “Fast” food is “fat” food. Avoid it.
  
• Expect to be a little hungrier than you were when you ate too much, and endure some hunger proudly. Distract yourself. We all know the expression “No pain, no gain.” More accurately for us, “No pain, no loss.” Bear a little pain to be more beautiful. But don’t overdo it. An eating plan that restricts calories too severely can lead to low ered metabolism (which you definitely don’t want), mood swings, headaches, and reduced mental and physical performance in daily tasks.
  

Chances are that you will be dating before you have reached your most beautiful weight. If you meet and start dating a Good Man for you, let him know that you are working on losing weight. Tell him that now that you and he are dating, you are even more motivated to lose your excess weight so you can become more beautiful, feminine, and healthy for him and for yourself. When I was dating Rich, he congratulated me by saying, “You are a sculptor of the flesh, losing weight and revealing a more and more beauti ful you.” I have always liked that idea, that I am an artist re-creating myself as a more beautiful work of art. Earlier in the chapter I invited you to be a sculptor of the flesh and to create your own more beautiful self as you chip away the excess weight with new exercise and eating habits. Create the sexy you that makes you happy, proud, and more beautiful.

Remember the importance of awareness. Here’s a quick review of the post ings on your fridge:

• The Four Core Characteristics of a Good Man (at top; married American Geisha do not post this) and, immediately to the right, Your Four Fundamental Needs
  
• Pictures of you at your heaviest (on left) and your best (on right) weights
  
• Your two affirmations
  
• Your daily Weight and Exercise Chart (at the bottom)
  

As you choose to be beautiful, feminine, in love, and married within twelve to eighteen months, Younger Sister, I wish you the best and hope that you’ll e-mail me and tell me of your successes in both losing weight and gaining your Good Man husband.

As you use your Weight and Exercise Chart, you are becoming a more and more beautiful American Geisha every day.

L
et’s review how far you have come as my Younger Sister American Geisha. You have adopted a Geisha Consciousness, recognizing the great yin power of your femininity in relation to a Good Man’s yang mas culinity. You are relaxed and confident of your worth and value as a Good Woman. You’ve fully explored your body and your sexual needs. You have begun to sculpt and tone your body and are on your way to achieving your most beautiful weight. You’ve increased your beauty by buying some new clothes, perhaps learning some new makeup techniques, and maybe having your hair styled. You’ve considered the characteristics you seek in your Good Man and defined your fundamental needs in a relationship. Now, af ter all of this preparation, you are ready to begin dating.

For you lucky ladies who are already married or in committed relation ships, use this chapter to assess what you are doing to make your relation ship even more loving and fulfilling. Single readers, use it to assess what you are doing in order to get into a happy, loving relationship with a Good Man.

The Art Gallery Opening

Wait. Is this book realistic and practical, as I promised you it would be? Are you so totally together that all you need to do now is to find a newspaper listing of this weekend’s art gallery openings, slip on a little black dress, and go admire paintings on walls while you sip cheap merlot and subtly notice single male browsers, each with his own little plastic cup of wine? Perhaps. But, realistically, perhaps not. When I started dating again at age thirty-five, after breaking up with Neil, I certainly hadn’t perfected my attitude, my sex ual awareness, my weight, or my beauty. And most of my wardrobe still consisted of heavy Korean-made suits that my husband-to-be finally let me know were unstylish and, yes, unattractive on me.

Earlier, I encouraged my American Geisha trainee to go through quite a rigorous preparation before actually getting out there into the world of dat ing. It would be ideal if your personal confidence and attitude allowed you to be relaxed and calm. If you’ve fully explored your sexuality, perhaps even learning the skills of G-spot orgasm and female ejaculation, that’s great. And you’ve lost all of the extra weight and toned your body. Fantastic. Yes, you’ve made yourself objectively beautiful. Fantastic again. And that little black dress is hardly lonely. You’ve invested in a new wardrobe. Wow. You are ready. Again, this would be ideal.

But what if you haven’t yet reached that ideal? What if you are “work ing on it,” but are not yet close to being there? I think this is probably the reality for most of us. We’re “working on it.” I know I was working on it (not always with a lot of awareness) when I reentered the dating scene in 1998. Sure, I would have been better off if I had worked on myself more before entering the singles pool. Yet life wasn’t unfolding that way.