Sex Secrets of an American Geisha (23 page)

I don’t really think I have to convince you too much that weight matters in attracting appropriate Good Men. What I do have to do is help you come up with a plan to lose the weight. Whether you are obese or twentyfive pounds overweight, or maybe just ten or fifteen pounds too heavy, I do have a plan for you—not a diet but a plan.

A Caution: Listen to Your Older Sister

Before your Older Sister describes her American Geisha Weight Loss and Maintenance Plan, I need to define some terms and issue a caution. If you are a bit too heavy or quite a bit too heavy, I want you to aim for a lower weight that will help you to present yourself at your best and most beauti ful. The terminology I usually use to describe this target weight is “slim” or “your most beautiful weight.” I do not want you to risk anorexia nervosa or bulimia by believing that you have to be reed-thin, “skinny,” or “tiny” in or der to attract your Good Man.

It is always a good idea to let your doctor know if you plan to lose weight, and to talk it over with her or him before you begin. Since I am not an expert in the fields of health, nutrition, diet, and exercise, I definitely en courage you to be cautious and safe, especially if you are quite overweight or obese. Of course, I learned my own lessons slowly, and lost my forty pounds without a doctor’s supervision. And I did it despite friends and family who thought I was “getting too thin.” People in your life get used to you at your heavier weight. They have a natural resistance to seeing you change, especially since your personality, attitude, happiness, and other traits are probably changing at the same time you are becoming thinner and more attractive. They prefer to relate to the old, familiar you, not this new, different you that they see emerging from your once-fat body. You may have to choose, as I did, to ignore some of the people who will say, “Oh, you look just fine the way that you are.” But do consult with and listen to your doctor.

Let me put this in bold just to make the point as strongly as possible:
Do not seek to be skinny or too thin. And do consult with a physician if you plan to lose more than ten pounds.
Remember that you and I, Younger Sister, want you to be healthy when you marry your Good Man— both at a beautiful weight and healthy.

The American Geisha Weight Loss
and Maintenance Plan

Oh, I’m getting excited. And I don’t mean that my vaginal walls are sweating sexual lubricant. I mean I’m getting mentally excited at the mere prospect of writing these next paragraphs about a plan to help you get your weight un der control and keep it under control. I feel so good to be at a beautiful weight (and to have stayed there for six years). I remember how bad I felt when I was fat. My excitement, though, is because I know that the American Geisha Weight Loss and Maintenance Plan (the “Geisha Plan”) can work for you, too.

Notice that I wrote in the last sentence that the plan can work for you. I didn’t write that it will work for you. Below, in bold type, appear two affir mations that I want you to read aloud enthusiastically and to believe totally. These statements, expressed sincerely and consistently, will begin to guarantee your success in reaching your most beautiful weight. Read them aloud:

• I want more than anything to be in love with and married to a Good Man within twelve to eighteen months.
  

• I care more about love and marriage to a Good Man than I do about food.
  

Right now, copy these two affirmations onto a piece of paper. It won’t take long; they’re short. Write neatly. Do it now! Thank you.

Now post the affirmations on your refrigerator, directly under the Four Core Characteristics of a Good Man that you posted after reading Chapter 7 and updated after reading Chapter 8. (My married readers will post re vised affirmations, printed a few paragraphs down.) Now and for years af ter you have lost your excess weight and married the Good Man you love, you will keep these affirmations on the fridge as a reminder and an inspira tion to continue to stay conscious of your desire to maintain a beautiful weight.

Four elements make up the American Geisha Weight Loss and Mainte nance Plan. They are based on the above two affirmations. Here they are:

1.
You absolutely commit to your personal goal of marriage to the right man for you, and soon. You are strongly motivated to do what is necessary to make this happen, because love and marriage to your Good Man is a most important accomplishment in your life that will make you incred ibly happy. (Ask yourself right now, “Is my American Geisha Older Sister right? Am I totally committed and motivated to being mar ried?” Be honest, of course. Be aware of what you truly need and want.)

2. You are personally responsible for prioritizing your needs and knowing that your need for love and marriage are higher priorities than your need for excessive food. Put simply, you need love more than you need excess food. (Again, dear Younger Sister, ask yourself, “Do I truly value love and a great marriage over food? Is my heart with love or is my heart with food?”)

If you have enthusiastically and excitedly answered both of my ques tions with a “Yes!” then the addition of two more factors will make your plan work today, tomorrow, next month, and even five or ten years into your great marriage:

3. Stay aware and conscious of what your weight is and of what you’re doing to lose or maintain weight by creating a weight/exercise chart and posting it on the refrigerator, right under your two affirmations. (I’ll tell you shortly what goes on the chart.)

4. Lastly, find a photograph of you at your heaviest or at your current weight, and a photograph of you (no matter how young) when you were happy and comfortable with your weight. I want you to stop reading right now. Mark this page. Then go find those two pictures. When you have the pictures in hand, come right back to this page and keep reading. (Please in dulge your Older Sister, smile, and go get the pictures, now.) All right, you are back. You probably know what I want you to do with the two photos. Post them on the refrigerator, with magnets or scotch tape. The heavier picture goes above and to the left of your two affirmations, and the slimmer picture goes above and to the right of the affirmations. Again, your weight/exercise chart is posted under your affirmations, which in turn are posted beneath the Four Core Characteristics of a Good Man and Your Four Fun damental Needs.

For my married Younger Sisters or those in committed relationships, I suggest the following two, slightly revised affirmations. Read them aloud. Write them down on a piece of paper and post them on your fridge. (Of course, there’s no need for you to post a list of the Four Core Characteris tics of a Good Man. You already have your Good Man husband):

• I want more than anything to revitalize my marriage (relationship), beginning now.
  
• I care more about love and my marriage (relationship) than I do about food.
  

If you already have your Good Man, change numbers 1 and 2 of the Geisha Plan to:

1. You are absolutely committed and strongly motivated to do whatever is necessary to revitalize your marriage (relationship), because an even better love relationship will make you incredibly happy.
   
2. You need a wonderful, improved marriage (relationship) more than you need excessive food.
   

Numbers 3 and 4 are the same as for single Younger Sisters.

I would like for you to reread the four elements of the Geisha Plan and to be clear about what the plan entails. Please do it now. Once you’ve done that, I would like to simplify each of the four items, to make them easier to remember and thus more motivational. First, we can reduce each of the four parts of the Geisha Plan to a short sentence:

1. You are committed to getting married. (If you are married, you are committed to revitalizing your marriage.)
   
2. For you, love and marriage are a much higher priority than food.
   
3. You’ll record and display your weight and exercise activities every day.
   
4. You’ll add more beautiful pictures to the fridge as you lose weight.
   

Finally, we can simplify the Geisha Plan even more by reducing each sentence to its key word or concept:

1. Marriage (or revitalization)
   
2. Love
   
3. Awareness
   
4. Beauty
   

Personal Responsibility for Your Choices

By using the Geisha Plan to create beauty with the tool of awareness, you’ll find love and marriage. And all the other good stuff, too: happiness, a Good Man, and a series of casual snapshots of you smiling more and more joy fully. A baby, too, if that is what you want.

Of course, I can’t honestly make these guarantees to you, since only you can supply the commitment and motivation and inspiration to do what needs doing for the Geisha Plan to work. The Geisha Plan asks you to take a lot of personal responsibility for your choices:

• You are responsible to choose marriage (or to revitalize your marriage).
  
• You are responsible to choose to value love.
  
• You are responsible to choose to record your results daily.
  
• You are responsible to choose to become more beautiful.
  

Geisha Determination

Dear Younger Sister, the Asian Geisha has no one to guarantee her liveli hood or to ensure that she’ll attract more clients or find a good danna. The Asian Geisha is something like a sole proprietorship, with no one else to guarantee that all will go well. She can be a very tough, practical, determined businesswoman, not at all during the day the passive, obedient, “submissive” companion she becomes each night.

Sweet Younger Sister, you, too, must embrace this Geisha Determination, not in service to your business, of course, but in service to your happy marriage. Only you can guarantee that the Geisha Plan will work. Again, I have no choice but to tell you that you are responsible to choose to ensure your own success, just as the Asian Geisha is responsible for herself. You’ve chosen marriage, love, awareness, and beauty. Now choose again to guaran tee that all of these things will happen

It’s always your choice. To read this book. To agree with me. To believe in the Geisha Plan. To reach your best weight and become more beautiful. It’s always your choice. That’s simply how life works, even with regard to weight and beauty. You make a choice. The American Geisha is happy that life works this way, because it is empowering to have choice. After all, you are responsible to choose, not someone else. You choose to be the right weight, to be beautiful, to be feminine. And then to do it. You become thinner, more beautiful, and more feminine. Responsibility and choice: Embrace them, dear Younger Sister. And become the shapely, beautiful, feminine woman you want to be.

As I wrote earlier, I’m all excited, bursting with enthusiasm and opti mism. I hope you are, too. I hope you’ve been carried along by the wonder ful possibility that beauty, love, and marriage will all come together for you because you’ve chosen to have these things in your life.

Earlier I wrote that I have a “plan” for you, not a “diet.” I have no ad vice for you about carbohydrates, fats, proteins, caloric content of different foods, or what to eat. All of that comprises additional choices for you to make. The advice I have for you about food will be a few useful tips pro vided later in the chapter that you will choose to use or not.

The Geisha Plan is truly not a diet. Diets don’t work very well. And if they do work at all, they tend only to work for a short time; then the weight returns. Did you notice that the four parts of the Geisha Plan say nothing about food, except that you care for love and marriage more than food? There are no menus or recipes. No calories-per-day goals, not even weight loss goals. There are only four parts to the Geisha Plan:

1. You are very committed to getting married (or to revitalizing your marriage), soon.
   
2. You are very motivated to find mutual love.
   
3. You will stay aware of your weight and exercise.
   
4. You are very motivated to be more beautiful.