Sex Secrets of an American Geisha (16 page)

You’ve read enough, dear Younger Sister, about the results of female ejacula tion. Now it is time to discover your G-spot and its related sexual pleasures. Get naked on your bed, comfortably prop up your head and shoulders, and put a pillow under your butt. Use lubricant as necessary, but not too much. To locate the G-spot, insert the middle and index fingers of one hand just a very short distance (one to one and a half inches) into the vagina, with the pads of the two fingers flat against the front wall of the vagina (the side to ward your belly button). It can be difficult to distinguish the G-spot area from the surrounding tissue when you are not sexually excited; it can feel very much like the rest of the anterior vaginal wall. As your finger pads (particularly that of the middle finger) press firmly again the front wall of the vagina, moving slowly, you may begin to become excited, with the area of the G-spot becoming fuller. You may notice a spongy area against your two fingers. Push firmly against this spongy area while slowly and rhythmically moving your two fingers repetitively in a “come-here” motion, as though you were calling someone to you. The G-spot area will become more de fined and obvious as the female prostate (on the other side of the anterior vaginal wall) becomes engorged with blood. Its “ribs” or ridges become more pronounced in response to your massage of the G-spot.

As you continue this stimulating massage, the G-spot area will protrude into the vaginal cavity. How much it protrudes varies in different women from subtle to substantial, probably due to varying sizes of female prostates and varying erectile responses to the massage stimulation. Use the gentle pressure of your two fingers to explore, through the vaginal wall, the dimen sions of your female prostate. Feel the ridges on top; slide your fingers down the left and right sides, sort of holding the organ gently between the two fingers. Notice the responses to your fingers’ pressure in different areas along the top of your female prostate; the sensations can vary from erotic to neutral to even slightly painful. Over time and with increased sensitization, all the areas will yield erotic feelings.

Figure 4:
M
uscles of the pelvic area.
Artist: Moti Melchizedek.
Reprinted
from
Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot,
by Deborah Sundahl.

Where Is the PC Muscle Group, Exactly?

Because the PC muscle group is so important to the G-spot orgasm and ejaculation, we need to learn a little more about it—a little more knowledge that will lead to incredibly more sexual and emotional pleasure. First, let me define the PC muscle group in a way that may help you to envision it in your body. Let’s again look at its full name: pubococcygeus muscle group. As the name implies, it is not a single muscle, but rather a group of muscles that work together, in unison (see Figure 4). They are involved not only in orgasm and ejaculation, but also in initial arousal and vaginal lubrication. (Men have PC muscles too, and they serve essentially the same functions in them, except for the part about vaginal lubrication, of course. In men they’re also involved in creating and maintaining erections.)

The word “pubococcygeus” can be broken into three parts: pubo coccygeus. “Pubo” (from the Latin) means “pubic and.” “Coccy” (Latin, but originally from Greek) refers to the coccyx bone at the base of the spine (which was thought to resemble a cuckoo’s beak, hence the Greek root word kokkyx). “Geus” (more Latin) means “pertaining to.”

Putting these three definitions together, we find that the pubococ cygeus muscle group is “a group of muscles pertaining to the pubic and coccyx bones.” Said another way, this muscle group stretches from your pu bic bone in the front all the way to your tailbone (coccyx) in the back, a dis tance of perhaps five to seven inches. It traverses in a figure eight from the area of your pubic bone, mound of Venus, and clitoris back past both sides of your urinary opening, past both sides of your vaginal opening, even back past both sides of your anus, finally attaching to the coccyx bone at the base of your spine. It supports the rectum and other internal organs. It measures in thickness anywhere from one-half inch to over two inches.

Because this muscle group is so long, it is served by two major nerves. The front two-thirds (toward the clitoris) is associated with the pudendal nerve, which responds to stimulation around the clitoris, labia, and vaginal entrance. The back one-third of the muscle group (toward the coccyx) is as sociated with the pelvic nerve, which connects to the bladder, uterus, ure thra, prostate (male and female), and lower spinal cord. Strictly clitoral orgasms (which involve only the pudendal nerve) are not accompanied by female ejaculation. When both the pudendal nerve and the pelvic nerve are excited, however, orgasm can often include female ejaculation.

Clitoral and G Spot Orgasms

Are Different Are you sensing where this little anatomy lesson is going? Younger Sister, one of these nerves (the pudendal) sends messages of sexual arousal from the clitoris to the brain, resulting in a clitoral orgasm, which involves contrac tion of the front two-thirds of the PC muscles. The other nerve (the pelvic) senses the G-spot stimulation of your female prostate and seems to send those messages of sexual excitement, at least in part, to a different, more primitive (may I say more animal and probably more emotional?) part of the brain, the brain stem, resulting in what has been called the G-spot orgasm (or female prostate orgasm or blended orgasm). With practice, female ejaculation can quite frequently accompany the G-spot orgasm (“blended” because it incorporates neural messages sent through both the pudendal and pelvic nerves). You’ll want to reread this section a few times to put a picture clearly in your mind.

Yes, my dear American Geisha in training, you are capable of two dif ferent types of orgasm, orgasms that not only follow different neural paths to (probably) different parts of your brain, but also are qualitatively differ ent. That is, you experience the two types of orgasm, the clitoral and the G spot, differently. They are not the same. For much of the twentieth century Sigmund Freud had many women believing that their clitoral orgasms were “immature,” and that the mature woman could experience a vaginal orgasm (though Professor Freud never did diagram or otherwise explain how the woman could actually experience that “mature” vaginal orgasm). The 1960s brought the feminists and the love children, who said Freud was wrong and that all orgasms are fundamentally clitoral orgasms, which are not “immature” at all.

Now we know that, indeed, there are two different orgasms, the clitoral orgasm through the pudendal nerve and the G-spot orgasm through both the pudendal and the pelvic nerves. Though I would hesitate to declare Freud “right,” there is much anecdotal evidence that the G-spot orgasm is often more satisfying to a woman than the clitoral orgasm, involving as it does both a deeper and a more emotional experience. I can only suggest that you, my Younger Sister, experience many of both types and ascertain for yourself the relative orgasmic merits of each.

I Leave You with a Tease

There seems to be a third and extremely powerful type of orgasm, though rarely experienced by the great majority of women: the uterine orgasm. It is effected through the pelvic nerve (alone, unblended) and depends upon deep, strong thrusting of cock or finger (or super-long tongue) that “jos tles” the cervix and indirectly stimulates the uterine muscles (a part of the muscle group). The resulting orgasm, experienced more fully in the brain stem, seems to have the most intense emotional component, and is usually so totally satisfying that you’ll be completely satiated by just one. This orgasm is much less likely to involve female ejaculation. I reference this orgasm again in Recommended Readings, at the back of the book.

T
he Asian Geisha is always very concerned with the image she conveys, for a positive image brings her more business from better clients. As an American Geisha your image in your Good Man’s eyes is of considerable importance to you, too, my Younger Sister, for a positive image brings you greater love and commitment from him, and more quickly. For this reason I ask that initially in your relationship with your Good Man you avoid most of the slang or profane terms for lovemaking, breasts, and vagina.

Let Your Good Man Know You
Love His Cock

There is, however, one key alternative term I want you to become comfortable with early in your relationship: “cock.” I believe that your Good Man has an association between the word “penis” and the act of urination that makes the term “penis” not nearly so erotic as the term “cock.” Remember this: A man pees with his penis and makes love with his cock. From the be ginning in any intimate relationship with a Good Man, refer boldly, sweet Younger Sister, to his “cock,” not to his “penis.” If he should inquire about your use of the term, let him know that for you there is an erotic, sexy asso ciation with his “cock” that you don’t experience with the word “penis.”Tell him that when you look at his naked body you see his cock, not his “penis.” Ask if he understands and agrees with you. I think he will. Let him know, however, that you prefer the terms “vagina” and “making love” to the alter natives, because the slang words are so often used in the context of anger and swearing rather than in the context of intimate lovemaking. You are too much a lady, at least in the initial stage of your sexual relationship, to be com fortable with low-class references to such a beautiful act as lovemaking, yet too sexual and passionate to think of your Good Man’s cock as simply a urological instrument. (Later in a sexual relationship, you might want to be gin to use “cunt” and “fuck” as alternative expressions, according to your joint preferences.)

The Asian Geisha knows that, essentially, a man and his cock are really one, that much of a man’s psychological identity—his ego—is bound up in his cock. When you, as an American Geisha, massage his cock you massage his ego; when you love his cock, you love him as a man. Nothing makes him happier; nothing ties him closer to his American Geisha than the fact that you always build him up, in his own eyes, as a great, worthy, potent man.

Fairly quickly after your relationship with your Good Man becomes sexual (and remember, you only become sexual with someone who is a “Good Man” for you; see Chapter 10), you should express to him that you love his cock. In fact, an American Geisha will often express love of her man’s cock before she is ready to express love of the man himself. If you are married or in a committed monogamous relationship, you express love for both the man and his cock. Say with sincerity such things as: