See How She Awakens (6 page)

“No,” I whispered, bending over to clutch my stomach. If I held tight enough maybe the darkness would subside.

“Izzy, it has always been your choice.” Mona’s eyes glistened with unshed tears.

“No, it hasn’t.” I gritted out. I’d thought of my life, of what I could’ve had if I’d chosen Kennan like Isadora said I could. If I’d done that, I would never have been happy. I’d always blame myself for the deaths of thousands of innocent people. Either choice I’d made, I would’ve lost myself.

“Enough!” Aberto shouted. “Tell her and be done with this.” His voice vibrated through my chest. I’d only ever heard him speak like that once before, when he’d destroyed Xavier.

“The prophecy,” Mona swallowed hard before continuing, “there were two.  You know the first. If you did not stop the demon, darkness would fall upon the world, causing brother to fight against brother. If you had not succeeded, that would be the destiny of the world.”

“What is the other one?” Still clutching my stomach, I struggled to stand fully upright. The darkness rested, appeased with my acceptance of its voice for a time.

“It says that though the demon be defeated, the darkness shall still fall, and the world will burn if not for the intervention of the Seer.” Mona clipped out before turning her face away.

“You knew this all along? You knew if I succeeded more would come, yet you didn’t warn me? Warn any of us?”  Fire prickled along my arms as the anger coursed through my veins. My arms began sparking a brilliant blue before pulsing into tight flames.

“Calm yourself, Seer.” Aberto’s tone still held the steely tone from moments before. “These emotions will bring you no satisfaction.”

“Calm myself? Did you know there was more to the prophecy? That once I fell, more would be asked?” The darkness churned inside of me. “Did you know?” My voice was a razor as I moved toward Aberto. The flames were turning red as the rage overtook me.

“ENOUGH!” Aberto shouted, causing everything to go black.

“What was that?” Conall’s voice asked from somewhere in the foggy distance.

“It is not clear,” Aberto responded from somewhere close. 

“What do you mean it isn’t clear? She just went all psycho flame girl, and then the fire went red and her voice…what the hell was that?” Ian sounded scared, his voice moving frantically around me in the distance.

“She’s been through a great deal, perhaps the void did more damage than we’d thought.” Eleanor’s calm voice felt like a warm blanket. 

“No,” Aberto stated, as though that one word held all of the answers.  I wanted to open my eyes to look at everyone, but something in me said be still. 

“What do you mean, no? Now isn’t a great time to be cryptic.” Ian’s frustration rubbed against my nerves.

“It is something more. She tried to tell me, but I believed as you did just now. The void can do damage, but this is something more.” Aberto’s breath fanned across my face as a warm hand clasped my cheek. I could feel his eyes upon me.

“How is she to be of assistance if she cannot control whatever this is? She seems to be on the brink of losing herself completely.” Conall’s calm assessment brought back memories of the times he’d patched up the marks that had overtaken my body months ago.

“The darkness has taken hold,” Mona’s voice spoke, but I knew it wasn’t her. I’d heard that voice enough to know Uriel had appeared. Opening my eyes, I turned my head to look upon him as he resided in my aunt.

A look of disgust crossed his face as he took in my prone form. Tilting my head, I wondered if he could see the darkness writhing within me.

“Do you see it?” I asked, a smile twisting my lips as his sneer morphed into a look of abject horror. “What are we to do now, Uriel?” I taunted him as I sat up. Moving towards my aunt’s body slowly, I tracked him like he were my prey. “What? Your Seer isn’t the shiny champion of good anymore? Are you scared of a little darkness?” The darkness laughed within me as it stretched ever outward. 

“Izzy?” Ian’s voice shook with fear.

“And you. You blame me for her. All of you blame me when something doesn’t go right. How about you do something for yourselves? What are you waiting for? Do you need him to sign a permission slip or something? Maintain the balance, what a joke. There never was a balance, and there never will be. At least the darkness doesn’t lie. It doesn’t keep secrets.” Ian’s fallen face broke whatever spell I’d been under.  Gasping, I stepped backward. The words that had come from me, they were of my own making, but not mine. 

Tears welled in my eyes as I backed away from everyone. Their stares of confusion and hurt causing panic to replace the rage that had taken hold. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”  Sobs wracked my body. I wanted it to end, to be free of this torment. Falling down to my knees, my body buckled in on itself.

The darkness ever pressing,
But didn
’
t it feel good to let the truth be heard? You owe them nothing. You
’
ve given enough, and now they know how you truly feel.

“No, I don’t feel that way. I DON’T!” My hands shot up toward my head, gripping my hair. I wanted to block the darkness out. I didn’t want to hear it anymore.  It had to end.  Someone had to make it end.  I could end it. 

End yourself, and they will be free of you. Do it, Izzy. Or don
’
t you want to be with Kennan?

“Kennan. Yes, end it. No one but me will hurt.” The logic was flawless, if I wasn’t alive, I couldn’t hurt anyone else.

“NO!” Aberto’s voice shook me from my thoughts, pulling my attention into focus.  He kneeled in front of me, his hands wrapped over mine. “No.” His voice softer, a plea.

“You can do nothing to save me.” Scorn dripped from my every word.

“She speaks the truth. She can’t be saved. The darkness will reign. The world will burn.” Uriel’s matter of fact response sent waves of anger cascading through me. “She is the catalyst of the war.”

“What happened?” Mona returned to herself, her fear evident.

“I’m not your savior, I’m your demise. Let me go!” I pleaded. “You heard Uriel, I can’t be saved. I’m the catalyst for all that is coming.”

They will use you until you are nothing but a shell. End it now, and you still have the control.

“Please let me leave. If I stay, I don’t know what might happen.” I looked at the faces of everyone that had become the world to me. I knew somewhere deep inside they mattered to me, even if the darkness tried to twist the truth.

“What about Molly? Will you just leave her?” Ian stared at me, clearly afraid to come any closer. “She walked through hell to get you back.”

“And I would sentence her to that for eternity if I stay. Would you have me destroy you all? I can’t control this.” Tears welled in my eyes.  I wanted him to know, to understand I wanted to help make it right.  To fix the one person that had never asked me to be anything more than just Izzy.

“I will help you.” Aberto’s calm assurance did nothing to sway my fear.

“How? You heard Uriel, I can’t be saved.”

“I refuse to accept that as truth.” Aberto looked into my eyes, searching deep into my soul.  “You are stronger than anyone has ever given you credit for. You will overcome this.”

He thinks you are strong enough to live with me forever. You won
’
t survive. Better to just end it now,
the darkness promised.

“I can’t stay here.” I wanted to be far from everyone that I still cared about. I didn’t want the darkness twisting them into something grotesque, morphing love into some demented emotion.

“I know.” Aberto placed a hand on my cheek briefly, before pulling me up to my feet.  “We must go. Izzy, please wait outside while we discuss what must happen.”

I moved to the hallway, my feet stopping just outside of the closed door. Longing to hear what might be said, I lingered.

“She can’t fulfill the prophecy if she remains as she is. If you want to save your Seer, first we must save Izzy.” Aberto addressed Ian with more sympathy than I’d ever heard him muster for anyone.

“Uriel said she couldn’t be saved. Won’t you just be wasting time trying to fix her when we could be doing like she said, fighting off the darkness ourselves?” Ian questioned.

“Uriel may no longer be able to see her future. Once she began to change, I lost the ability to see the events of her life play out. Perhaps her final change has caused her to be unseen.”

“What if you are wrong?” Conall asked.

“Then the darkness will reign. The prophecy is clear, the Seer must defeat the darkness.”  Aberto’s voice lowered, barely audible.  “In the dreaming, before I was able to reach Izzy, Kennan was pleading with her. He begged her to remember something important. There is knowledge inside of her we need to fight the coming flames. If we fail to save her, we fail to save us all.”

“What of Molly, will she continue to change?” Ian’s fearful voice asked.

“She is safe in stasis. If she were to reenter the dreaming, more harm would follow. She has no reason to return, as Izzy is now on this plane. Rest easy, your Seer is safe.”

“You never said,” Ian paused, “how exactly did you get her out of the dreaming in the first place? Molly tried and never got even remotely close.”

“Love and sacrifice,” Aberto responded before opening the door to stare into my eyes. “We must leave.”

“What does it mean?” I knew he understood, the pain flickered through his eyes before he was unable to conceal it.

“A question for another time.” His response was abrupt as he led me away from the Seers and Guardians staring at my back.

He is using you to redeem himself. He thinks if he fixes you, he will be able to move on. You heard him, the prophecy is all he cares about. If he
’
d cared for you at all, he would
’
ve told you the truth about Kennan. He wouldn
’
t have let you go on believing Kennan would survive. He knows nothing of sacrifice or love.

“Perhaps…” My reply was cut off, by Aberto’s piercing gaze.  “Where are you taking me?”

“Somewhere no one can be harmed, save for us.”

Traversing through space with Aberto was never pleasant. Images flashed by in a blur of erratic motion. A safe place, he’d said. Where could we be safe, away from everyone I might be able to harm? The world stilled once more as we came to a stop.

My eyes opened onto a barren landscape. The stars overhead seemed to multiply, forming a blanket in the sky above. I’d never seen them with such clarity, not even when I’d been in Washington with Kennan.  His name alone sent a pain ripping through my being.  Everything brought his memory rushing forward, and with the memory came anger and regret, emotions that fueled the darkness. 

“Where are we?” my voice cut through the stillness, moving ever outward.

“Do you believe you will be safer knowing?” Aberto’s question caught me off guard. On one hand, if I knew where I was, I would be able to leave if I had to. On the other hand, if I knew where I was, I would be able to leave, and that could lead to me harming everyone. So knowing meant I could leave, and even if I knew, it wouldn’t be good.

“No.”

“Very well.” Aberto moved toward an inky blot on the horizon. It was a fathomless void blocking out the stars. As we moved closer I could tell it was some sort of building. If I were really pushing my definitions, I’d call it a house. 

The door creaked as Aberto yanked on the rusty hinges. Reality came crashing in as the door finally relented and opened. He’d brought me to a prison. I was going to be kept in solitude for the rest of eternity.

If you end it, you won
’
t have to remain here.

The room, because there was only one room, consisted of a bed, a kitchenette, and a table that seemed to serve as more of a desk than anything else. There was no bathroom, though I supposed I hadn’t needed one since coming out of the dreaming. Maybe I didn’t have to do that now that I wasn’t in my human form?