Secrets of My Hollywood Life #5: Broadway Lights (20 page)

"Other than that, you're totally free." Liz grins. "This is going to be some schedule, but hey, at least you have your days free. We can take more dance classes."

"Absolutely." I pull my hair down and then put it back up again in a normal pony. The side one was too annoying. "That's about the only thing that works with this schedule. That and meetings with Seth and Laney about my next big move, which between us, I have to say, I want to be something on TV."

"Really, Kates?" Liz sounds excited. " That would be awesome."

"Seriously? You don't think I'm crazy after complaining all those times about my schedule and workload?"

She shakes her head. "You were glowing Saturday night. TV is your thing, Kates! Look how much fun Matty is having." Liz lowers her eyes. "Don't get mad, but sometimes when he's talking, you look a little jealous."

"I am!" I say ruefully. "That's why it felt so good to do
SNL
. Being back with Sky and trading lines like that, acting so funny, it was fun! I need a new character to focus on. Someone a little lighter than Sam."

"She was a bit melodramatic," Liz agrees, and I pinch her. "Well, she was!"

Ten minutes later, we're standing in front of the miniscule Magnolia Bakery. I stay outside and try Austin on his cell while Liz gets two iced coffees and two cupcakes to go. It's not like I need an excuse to call him, but I'm feeling a little guilty about complaining about him to Liz and besides, I forgot to ask him where it was his mom wanted to have brunch on Sunday. I look at my watch. It's an hour earlier in Texas, so Austin should be on his lunch break. The phone rings and rings.

"Hello?" A girl answers, shouting over thumping music. "Hello?"

"Sorry, I must have the wrong number," I tell her apologetically, and prepare to hang up.

"Wait. Are you looking for Austin Meyers or Rob Murray? If so, you're in the right place."

"Oh." I hesitate. Who is this girl answering their phone? "I'm looking for Austin."

"A! Phone for you!" she yells.

A? She's calling
my
Austin, A?

"He's down the hall," another voice yells back.

"He's not here right now," the girl says. "Call back in five." She's giggling. "Carl, stop! I'm on the phone! I said, 'I'm on the phone!' " She laughs harder. "Sorry. He's tickling me. These L.A. boys are too much."

"Can I leave a message?" I snap without realizing it. "Tell Austin his
girlfriend
called."

Fine, it's childish, but I'm playing the girlfriend card. I'm staking my claim.

"I didn't know A had a girlfriend," the girl says, causing me to get even madder.

"It's Kaitlin," I tell her, trying to stay calm. "Can you just tell him I called?"

"No problem, Katrine," she says, and then she hangs up before I get the chance to correct her.

Tuesday, June 23

NOTE TO SELF:

The View
: Thurs. @ 11. B there @ 9:45 AM

Dinner w/ parents, Matty @ the Met 4 Mom: Thurs. 6:30 PM

Friday: opening night! B there @ 5 PM.

Austin & family get in @ 2PM. Have Rodney pick them up @ JFK.

Find out who that girl was who answered "A's" phone!

MEETING OF THE MINDS

Scene 10

After Andie and Leo are caught kissing, Jenny is furious. She chases Andie back to the cafeteria to confront her. Jenny's friends and Andie's friends quickly take sides, and soon a riot starts. The class bell rings, but nobody moves. Andie has jumped up on a table to avoid the cheerleaders.

ANDIE:

(screaming at the top of her lungs)
STOP!

(The crowd grows quiet and looks up at her. Andie is a bit unsettled.)

ANDIE:

Good. Um, thanks for listening.

JORDAN:

Wow, Andie, who knew one day the queen bees would actually listen to what you had to say?

JENNY:

We're not listening! We're waiting till she climbs down so we can grab her.

(Chorus of "Yah!" The girls try to grab Andie's legs. Becca and Jordan step in to stop them, and hair pulling ensues.)

ANDIE:

Wait! Wait! Don't you think this is a bit crazy? What are we doing? This is the last day of school and even today we can't find a way to get along for five minutes?

JENNY:

Not when you're kissing other people's boyfriends!

ANDIE:

He kissed me.
(Jenny moves to grab her again.)
Okay, okay, not that I stopped him. But that's not the point. The point is we all used to be friends and now we can't even say hi in the halls. Remember first grade? Jenny, you used to come over to my house every Monday after school. And Jordan--you and Katie took gymnastics together. Sara, you can pretend you didn't, but you used to play soccer with Becca. What happened to us? Why did we get so caught up in who is popular, who is not, who lives on the west side of town and who lives east of the river, who drives a Beamer and who has a '90 Nissan Sentra?

JORDAN:

That would be me and I'm proud to say that car drives quite well.
(pause)
When I'm not having it serviced.

ANDIE:

We should be supporting each other, not trying to find ways to tear each other down. What's the point of doing that?

JENNY:

There is no point. It's just fun to point out the obvious, like Jordan's terrible roots.

JORDAN:

It costs money to have my roots look this bad! You should know; yours are worse.

JENNY:

This is your last chance, Andie. I want you to leave. Now. And don't even think of showing up in a cap and gown tomorrow or you really will have to pay for trying to humiliate me by kissing my boyfriend. It's your choice. What's it going to be?

ANDIE:

I'm staying and I'd like to see you try to stop me.

TEN: Opening Night

It's so quiet in the theater, you could hear a pin drop. I hear someone cough, but I tune out the sound. My eyes are on Riley--aka Jenny--and this is one of the biggest moments in the play. I'm trying not to think about that fact, though--or the fact that the audience is jammed with people I know tonight. My parents, Matty, Liz, Sky (who acted indignant when I asked if she wanted a ticket. "Of course I want a ticket!"), Nadine, Rodney, Laney, and Seth are seated in a box on the right-hand side of the theater. In the second row, center, are Austin, his mom, and his sister, Hayley. A few rows behind them are my friends Gina, Taylor, Miley, and Vanessa. Page Six said Lauren and Ava were going to crash the show, but Forest set up security to keep them out in case the rumors were true. Someone told me Kelly Ripa is here, but I haven't seen her. The
Gossip Girl
cast is supposedly here as well, but I'm trying not to think about that either. The most important thing I have to do right now is concentrate on the moment.

I'm standing on top of a cafeteria table trying to avoid a mob of angry cheerleaders. My voice is strong and a little angry: "We should be supporting each other, not trying to find ways to tear each other down. What's the point of that?"

Oh wow. I said that differently than I have in rehearsal. I usually say it softly, as if it's a delicate reminder of the truth. But tonight I'm fired up. I guess going live will do that to you. I was so nervous all day. I only had a banana for lunch. Nadine forced me to eat a power dinner with lots of protein (I had lemon chicken, which I love, and a big side of broccoli) and a huge bottle of water so I'd stay hydrated. Then I worried I drank too much water and I was going to have to pee during the first act. But I've been fine. So far. I was so anxious about tonight that I showed up at the theater two hours before the curtain went up. Liz and Nadine offered to hang backstage with me, but I told them I was too nervous for guests.

I haven't even seen Austin yet--well, up close. (I can see his gorgeous face in the audience, though.) Rodney dropped his family off at the hotel around three thirty, and they had just enough time to grab a bite before they came to the theater. I told Rodney to bring Austin backstage during the brief intermission, but Austin called me before the curtain to wish me luck and tell me he would see me after the show. "I don't want to break your concentration," he insisted. "I want you at the top of your game, Burke." He was so sweet it almost made up for the fact that we hadn't talked in the three days before he arrived.

I've been such a wreck about opening night. Dylan was sweet and took my mind off things by taking me to do karaoke somewhere in Koreatown after the show two nights ago. We had so much fun that I stayed out the second latest I ever have in New York so far (two-thirty AM. The SNL after-party stills holds the record at four AM.). Rodney was with me so Mom didn't freak out. After karaoke I was much calmer about tonight. I still had some minor meltdowns, but when I couldn't reach Austin, Dylan talked me off the ledge.

"I can't do this," I flipped out on the phone this morning. "I don't know what I was thinking. Live audience? LIVE? I can't go on live! What if I blow a line? What if I forget where to walk? What if I'm just plain awful?"

"You won't forget a line," Dylan's voice was calm. "You can sort it out, Kaitlin. You're brilliant as Andie. You're ready for Broadway."

"You really think so?" Talking to Dylan this week has been like taking a huge swig of water after spin class. Or catching your breath after a long walk. I feel better instantly.

"I know so," Dylan insisted. "I can't wait to say 'I told you so' after the curtain drops."

So that's what I'm doing right now. Trying to do the best job I can so that Dylan can say "I told you so" later.

"There is no point," Riley spits. She's wearing a cheer-leading uniform and she thrusts her pom-poms in my face. "It's just fun to point out the obvious, like Jordan's terrible roots." Someone else has a line and then Riley says: "This is your last chance, Andie. I want you to leave. Now. And don't even think of showing up in a cap and gown tomorrow or you really will have to pay for trying to humiliate me by kissing my boyfriend. It's your choice. What's it going to be?"

My turn. "I'm staying," I shoot back, shuffling my feet on the plastic table. I'm wearing a casual pink tee and loose-fitting no-name jeans I normally wouldn't be caught dead in. "And I'd like to see you try to stop me."

And scene! The curtain drops. End of act one.

The applause is deafening, even from backstage. I'd give anything to peek through the curtain and see what people are doing. I can hear people whistling and clapping, and I can't help feeling pleased. They liked it! They liked the first act with
me
in it!

When you're on a film set and you spend months making a movie, you never know how it will be edited or whether anyone will actually care to see it when you're done. It can be hard to find your motivation. But playing off the audience's reactions, like I've been doing tonight, is different from anything I've ever experienced. When they laugh, or they clap, or I catch a glimpse of someone's face and see their expression, it pushes me to want to emote more.

I rush back to my dressing room for a quick touch-up, a costume change--a major bathroom break--and another huge gulp of water.

"Kaitlin!" Forest swings into my dressing room and hugs me. Tonight he's in a suit and tie. (Usually he's in jeans and an untucked dress shirt.) "Excellent first half. Just as I expected. How do you feel?"

"Unbelievable." The words spill out of my mouth and tumble over each other. "I've never felt like this when I've acted. Thank you, Forest." I'm getting choked up. "This has been..."

"Now, now, don't ruin your makeup." He holds up his hands to stop me just as the makeup artist rushes in again. "Keep it up. I know you will. We'll celebrate after, okay?"

Dylan swings by my door next and I freeze. "Great job out there, treacle." I know now that's the British term for
friend
. "Did I tell you so?"

"You did." I hug him on impulse. Dylan's really been there for me this week and I can't thank him enough. Dylan hugs me back and neither of us moves. I'm very aware that Dylan's hand is on my lower back.

A voice over the backstage loud speaker crackles through my small dressing room. "FIVE MINUTES."

"I should..." I should what? Oh yeah, get ready!

"Me too. Got to hit the loo. And remember to keep my mic off." Dylan gives me a lopsided grin. "See you out there."

I take a few deep breaths to center myself. I'm not sure what has me more worked up: act two starting or Dylan, but I can't think about the latter right now. Instead I head to my spot on stage across from Riley. The curtain is down and our mics haven't been turned back on yet. She smiles at me.

"You're doing splendidly," she says. If I could, I would practically fall through the curtain and into the orchestra pit. "Of course, I wouldn't have ended the last scene the way you did. It was a row, but I pictured Andie having a more delicate touch. What do you think?"

Riley likes to pose the question as if I have a choice, but I don't. She's usually right. She's been at this a lot longer than I have and no matter how uncomfortable she makes me, she usually has a point. "I didn't think of that."

"No matter." Riley waves her hand away. "There is always tomorrow night for improvement, even if the critics have already made their decisions."

Groan. The critics. Does she have to keep reminding me they're watching? I've never acted in front of a critic before. Whenever they reviewed
FA
or one of my films, obviously I wasn't there to see their reactions. It's sort of unsettling to know there are people in the audience paying attention to my every line and emotion.

Riley laughs. "Bollocks! I didn't mean to upset you. You can't help it if your insecurities show on stage. It is your first time up there and, well, no one compares to Meg Valentine so don't you worry! I'm sure your press will be lovely." She looks pensive. "Just maybe tone down your attitude in this next scene. It's a tad overcooked, don't you think? Anyway, break a leg!"

Oh God. Maybe I am bad at this. Maybe I don't have what it takes to be up here. Maybe... I feel a hand on my shoulder.