Secrets of a Former Fat Girl (12 page)

Turn the information into action.

Take your fifteen rules (or whatever number you end up with) and choose two diet-related rules to tackle. Then shuffle through your diet database to see if you jotted down any past experiences that relate to how you should rewrite those rules. It is easier than it sounds. For instance, from my database, I know that the times when I tried to skip my 3:00
P.M
. snack altogether—especially during the workweek—were disastrous. I found that not only did I need the snack to help hold me until dinner (otherwise, I'd go right for the cookie jar when I set foot in the house), but my brain needed the break. So instead of just cutting myself off completely, I rewrote the rule this way: “I always have a piece of fruit or a small bag of pretzels at 3:00
P.M
. during the workweek.” And then when I was tempted to grab a candy bar or a piece of leftover birthday cake instead, I activated my INO mechanism.

If you think this is no big deal, let's look at the impact. First, the physical: A vending machine bag of pretzels is about 120 calories; a pack of Oreos from that same machine is 200. Eating the pretzels instead of the Oreos five days a week saves me 400 calories; skipping the snack altogether on the weekends (because I don't really miss it then) saves me another 400. That's 800 calories a week saved; over a year, that's a grand total of 41,600 calories. It takes 3,500 calories to equal 1 pound of body fat, so with this little no-brainer strategy, you'd lose almost 12 pounds over the course of a year! (Okay, so it's 11.8857 pounds for you sticklers, but that's still pretty good.)

The emotional benefit is immeasurable but just as powerful. Every time you choose those pretzels over those Oreos or follow your new rule instead of the old one, you'll see the needle on that self-esteem scale move in the right direction. Choosing that salty snack is like saying yes to the Former Fat Girl way of life and leaving the Fat Girl you used to be sitting in the queue, like the Oreos, growing stale and moldy by the minute.

Give yourself six weeks to get those two new rules down, and then add another. Resist the urge to move too fast. Allow yourself time to get comfortable living by these new rules and use INO to keep you honest.

What about exercise?

You're not off the hook. In addition to the two diet-related rules you're going to tackle, you need to come up with one exercise-related rule. The process is a little different, though. Chances are you don't have any rules about exercise now, so you have to start from scratch. A good beginner's goal is to shoot for thirty minutes three days a week. That works out to about every other day, which is regular enough for you to get used to but not so demanding that it's extraordinarily hard to accommodate. (If you have preexisting health problems, are severely overweight, or simply would feel more secure with a professional's blessing, talk to your doctor before you commit to a goal.)

Wait a minute. Didn't I say I had to run every day to make sure I didn't slip back into the life of a sloth? Yes, but when I first started exercising, I was doing Jazzercise only three days a week. I didn't jump right in and commit to a seven-day running regimen. I took my baby steps, too. The point is to start establishing exercise as a habit, to commit to some regular schedule and, with the help of INO, make it permanent. Also, the information you have in your diet database—what you've learned about yourself from trying fitness-related programs in the past—will help you screen out activities and situations that might get in the way of achieving your three-days-a-week goal. Use that and the Former Fat Girl Fixes from chapter 1 to help you write an exercise rule you can keep.

Don't be afraid to revise.

Now, I don't have to tell you that living by these new rules won't be easy. You can well imagine my anguish, I'm sure, at leaving those delicious Oreos to rot in the vending machine. No matter how tough it is, stick it out for those six weeks. At the end of that time, reassess. If feelings of denial, temptation, despair, or whatever are trumping the self-esteem booster shot you should be getting from sticking with your program for this long, you may need to take another look at the rules you've been working with. Take my pretzel-versus-Oreo scenario, for example: Maybe I find that I do need the Saturday and Sunday 3:00
P.M
. snack after all. Or, maybe I miss those Oreos so much that I allow myself to have them on Monday afternoons following the weekly staff meeting that always seems to bring me down. Rigidity is what dooms most cookie-cutter diets in the first place, but too much flexibility won't get you where you want to be, either.

The Obstacle: Feelings of Deprivation That Threaten to Throw You Off Track

INO can keep you going through a tough workout or help you pass up a gratuitous piece of chocolate, but let's get real: It doesn't sound like very much fun. I've got the fixes for that.

Former Fat Girl Fixes

Know when to use INO and when not to.

INO is not meant to be an iron rule. Use it too often, and you could start having flashbacks to old weight loss attempts when you walked around feeling deprived of food, of fun, of all the good things in life. As valuable as INO can be to future Former Fat Girls like you, to get the most out of it you have to know when to use it. For instance, I don't believe that it applies to eating a piece of your son's, your husband's or your own birthday cake. But the cheap Wal-Mart cupcakes at the office party for the payroll secretary you don't even like? INO. Try sorting through scenarios like that to determine INO-appropriate situations. And by all means, if you start having those flashbacks, take a look at how you're using INO and pull back if you need to.

Build in some free-food time.

There is a way to preserve some of the freedom you loved when you allowed yourself to eat whatever you wanted whenever you wanted it. All you need to do is set aside some situations where you can take that free and easy approach. I've used several techniques for this. A particular favorite, one that I still use today, is to limit my breakfast and lunch options to one or two dishes so that I can have more freedom at dinner. For instance, breakfast is oatmeal five days a week and a bagel with light cream cheese (an indulgence) on the weekends; lunch is a half sandwich or bowl of soup. Dinner could be more substantial: chicken tacos with guacamole, pad Thai, or salmon, baked potato, and salad. That technique keeps my calories in check and feeds my need for an interesting evening meal that my whole family can get into. It also gives my diet some structure, but not so much that I'm constantly battling the temptation to break the rules. Plus, the monotony of breakfast and lunch makes dinner seem even more special.

You could also make your weekdays more structured and allow yourself more freedom on the weekends. I used that approach when I was single. It was more important for me to go out and indulge on the weekends; I didn't mind eating lighter during the workweek. One more idea: At one point in my life, in my late twenties, I had really strong cravings for sweets and other carbs during my period. If I had a taste for something, I was like a madwoman; it was worse than any craving I had years later when I was pregnant with my son. I decided I would allow myself one day where I could eat anything I wanted in any quantity. I had figured out that my cravings were the most intense the day after I started my period, so that became what I called my free day. I remember one time when I was dying for a peanut butter–chocolate chip cookie. It was nearing the official end of my free day—midnight—and I found an open store that happened to have such a confection. I ate it, but it wasn't quite right; it wasn't
the
peanut butter–chocolate chip cookie that my taste buds were yearning for. I think I went to every convenience store in Austin that night searching, unembarrassed, for that perfect cookie, sampling many along the way. But at the stroke of midnight it was over, and I was back to INO. Even though I was drawn to that perfect cookie like a magnet to metal, INO helped me defy the laws of physics and keep my Former Fat Girl commitment.

Preserve your perspective.

How
not
to use INO: to make yourself feel bad for not living up to some impossible standard you set for yourself. Think about INO as the encouraging words of a coach, not the judgmental command of a drill sergeant. It is meant to lift you up, not tear you down. Respect yourself for every little bit of progress you make. You deserve it.

The Obstacle: Lack of Time, the Mother of All Excuses

Time is second only to “I don't like it” on the list of reasons that women don't exercise. How can you even think INO could help you make exercise a priority when you can't find the time to send your own mother a birthday card or make the bed in the morning? Wait—check out my fixes.

Former Fat Girl Fixes

Move whenever you can.

You don't have hours to spend in the gym. Who does? How can you be expected to listen to the INO in your head and squeeze in a workout on the days when every minute is committed to someone or something else? As insurance when it's just not possible to get to the gym or the trail, seize any opportunity to move during the day. Don't scoff. I know you've heard this before, but I wouldn't repeat it if I didn't know that it will make a difference. If you take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk instead of drive (when possible), and even stand instead of sit, you'll burn more calories in the course of the day. That's not a great substitute for a sweaty session on the elliptical trainer, but it gives you some cushion when other commitments outrank you and your workouts on your list of priorities. So INO to use the elevator unless you're wearing three-inch heels or your doctor says you can't for some reason. And if you're using the heels as an excuse, ditch them for flats. They're easier to walk in, better for your feet, and back in style, too.