Secret for a Nightingale (31 page)

“What can we do?

We believe a certain method may be the cure, but how can we tell until we have tried it? “

He talked to me, also, about the political situation.

“I can only hope that this does not involve us in war. People do not realize the horrors of war … of soldiers in some foreign battlefield without hospitals, without medical attention, doctors … nurses ..”

I said: “I have had a glimpse into one of those hospitals in London.

It was a horrifying experience. “

“Then you can imagine something a thousand times worse.”

“People everywhere must find a way of changing that.”

He looked at me with something like the admiration I had seen in his eyes when he had watched Henrietta singing Early One Morning.

“Something will be done. It is comforting to know that there are people like you in the world.”

“You overestimate me.”

“I don’t think so,” he said.

I could not help feeling a glow of pleasure; and we were joined by Henrietta and were soon laughing.

It was the end of January; the weather was a little warmer and the snow had thawed. I put on strong boots and went for a walk in the forest. Henrietta was on duty at that time and I was alone.

I came to Frau Leiben’s cottage. I wondered whether Gerda would be out on such a day. As I walked past the door opened and my name was called. I recognized Frau Leiben’s voice.

“Fraulein … Fraulein Pleydell. Come … come here … quickly.”

Hastily I went into the cottage. She took me through to a room in which was a bed. On it lay Gerda, writhing in pain.

“Please … help …” stammered’ Frau Leiben.

I went to Gerda.

“Gerda,” I said, ‘what is it? Where is the pain? “

She did not answer, but went on moaning.

I turned to Frau Leiben.

“Go at once to the hospital. Tell one of the doctors he must come here at once.”

She hastily put on boots and cape and was off. She was a frightened woman and so was I when I turned to the girl, for I could see that she was very ill indeed.

I put my hand on her forehead; it was very hot.

“Gerda,” I said.

“You know me. I am here with you. I’m going to take care of you.”

That seemed to soothe her a little. I kept my hand on her forehead.

But after a few minutes she was screaming with pain.

Never had time passed so slowly. It seemed hours before Dr. Fenwick arrived. He took one look at Gerda and said to me:

“Go back to the hospital, arrange some transport. I want her in the hospital quickly.”

I ran off.

And so we brought Gerda to Kaiserwald. She was given a small room little more than a cell but she could not have gone with the others.

Dr. Bruckner was with Charles Fenwick and they sent for one of the nurses. I was a little hurt, because I was not the one. I had felt I could soothe Gerda. She knew me and I believe she trusted me. I found it difficult to go back to my work without knowing what was happening.

It was late. I could not sleep. I decided to do what I could to find out. I crept along to the room in which Gerda lay. It was very quiet and a terrible fear came to me.

The door of her room opened and Charles Fenwick came out. He stared at me.

“Miss Pleydell!” he said.

“I was anxious about Gerda,” I said.

“She’s a little better.”

“Thank God.”

“She will live, though it is touch and go.”

“May I see her?”

“Better not. Wait until tomorrow. She has been very ill.”

“What was it?”

He looked at me steadily but did not answer.

“You should go to bed,” he said at length.

“You’ll have to be up early in the

morning. ” He laid his hand on my arm.

“She will recover. She is strong and healthy. I’ll talk to you in the morning. Good night. Miss Pleydell.” There was nothing I could do but return to my bed.

The next morning I went to her room. I opened the door and looked in.

She was lying in bed with her yellow hair loose about her face. She was very pale and looked as though she were dead.

One of the nurses was sitting by her bed.

I said a Guten Morgen and asked after the patient.

“She has had a quiet night,” was the answer.

In the afternoon Charles Fenwick came to me and asked if Henrietta and I would be going for a walk in the forest. When I said we should, he asked if he might accompany us.

As we walked under the trees I asked about Gerda.

“Has she really recovered?”

“I think it will be some weeks before she does so completely. She almost killed herself.”

“Killed herself!” I cried.

“She had an accomplice, of course.”

“What do you mean?” demanded Henrietta.

“Gerda was pregnant. She has just had an abortion.”

“What?” I cried. That’s impossible! “

“She’s too young,” said Henrietta.

“She was old enough,” said Charles.

“Gerda! No. I won’t believe it.”

“That’girl knows more than you would give her credit for. In the first place she becomes pregnant and then she attempts to do away with the child.”

“Which she has done, presumably,” said Henrietta.

“And nearly killed herself in the process.”

“I still can’t believe it.”

“The evidence makes it clear.”

“But who …?”

“There must be people who would take advantage of a girl like that.”

Vague scraps of conversation came to me. What had she said about meeting the Devil in the forest? What could she have been implying?

Whom could she have meant?

The poor innocent child,” I said.

“Not so innocent,” corrected Charles.

“She knew what it was all about when she decided to be rid of the child.”

“But how could a girl like that get the means …?”

“No doubt she took something given to her by her lover.”

“This is terrible. Do you know who it could possibly be?”

He shook his head.

“Someone with a little knowledge of these things.”

“A little knowledge can be dangerous. Have you spoken to her?”

“No. She is too ill. I am only thankful that we brought her here in time. But for you. Miss Pleydell, calling us in so that we were able to bring her to the hospital … well, it could have been the end of Gerda.”

“I’m so glad I passed the cottage that day. Why didn’t Frau Leiben call for help?”

“She probably knew what was wrong and thought she could manage to look after the girl.”

“You mean the grandmother may have procured that stufP’ ” One never knows. All I can tell you is that Gerda was pregnant and took something calculated to get rid of the baby . and it did . though in the process it nearly got rid of Gerda herself. “

“It’s a terrible thing …”

“I shall warn her about taking such things. She must never do it again.”

Henrietta was thoughtful.

“Well, it worked,” she said.

“That’s what Gerda will say.”

“We must impress on her that she must never do it again.”

“Her own suffering will do that more forcefully than any talking could do,” I said.

“That’s true,” agreed Charles Fenwick.

“But she should never have done what she did.”

“Never have been carried away by the blandishments of a lover,” added Henrietta.

“But people are human.”

“I’d like to know how she got hold of that stuff. Some old woman, most likely. That should be discovered and stopped.”

“Well,” said Henrietta thoughtlessly, ‘perhaps it has turned out for the best. “

“I should not like to have to make a decision on that,” said Charles.

“And I should very much like to know more about the case. First, who was the scoundrel who took advantage of her innocence, and who was the one who gave her that destructive potion. I want her watched for a day or so until she is back to normal.”

“You think she isn’t normal now?”

“I do not. She is in a sort of daze.”

“One is never sure what Gerda knows.”

“She is sure to be in a highly emotional state. I am going to suggest that you. Miss Pleydell, are put in charge of her. I could not ask you earlier as we needed a nurse experienced in midwifery. Now I think you will be the best for her.”

“Shall I go to her right away?”

“First I will see the Head Deaconess. She has agreed that you shall look after the girl, but I will see her first… as soon as we return.”

I sat by her bed. How frail she was! I stroked the unruly curls back from her narrow brow, and she opened her eyes and smiled at me.

“I’m in Kaiserwald,” she said.

“That’s right. You’ve been ill and you are getting better.”

She nodded and closed her eyes.

I continued to stroke her brow.

“That’s nice,” she murmured.

“It makes me feel better.”

She slept a while and I did not wake her until I took some gruel to her.

“Am I going to stay here?” she asked.

“Until you are better.”

“I was ill, wasn’t I?” Her face crumbled.

“It hurt. It hurt so much.”

“It was because of what you took, Gerda. Where did you get that medicine?”

She smiled secretively.

“Did you know what it would do?”

“It was to make me better.”

“It gave you a lot of pain.”

“It made me better.”

I said: “You told me about the Devil. You met him in the forest. Was it the Devil who gave it to you?”

She wrinkled her brow.

“Who was it you met in the forest, Gerda?”

She was silent.

“You told me it was the Devil.”

She nodded. Her face changed and she was smiling. I could see that in her mind she was back there with whoever it was who had seduced her.

“Who?” I whispered.

She whispered back: “It was the Devil.”

“And who gave you the medicine?”

She closed her eyes. She looked very ill and I thought I should not be questioning her. I am bringing it all back to her, I thought. I am worrying her when what she needs is peace. I must wait until she is better.

But something told me I was not going to find my answer from Gerda.

Gerda grew stronger every day. After two weeks she left Kaiserwald and went back to her grandmother. She looked very frail, daintier than ever; and she seemed quite guileless and unaware of what had happened.

I did talk to her grandmother once. The poor old lady was griefstricken. I tried to comfort her.

She said: “That it should happen to one of mine! I never thought to see that.”

“Frau Leiben,” I said, ‘have you any idea who . “

She shook her head.

“There aren’t many young men about here. They go to the towns when they’re old enough. There’s

little for them here . and those who are here are decent young men. They wouldn’t take advantage ofGerda. “

“I suppose one can never be sure what people will do on impulse. She talked about the Devil.”

“One of her fancies. She was always one for fancies. She talks sometimes of seeing the trolls. It’s due to all those tales Herman used to tell her.”

“And that stuff she took. Did you see anything of that?”

“Nothing. I thought she was a little changed. I had no idea that she was three months gone.”

“It must have been a great shock. What has upset the doctors is that she might have killed herself. They would like to know who gave her whatever she took. If you should ever find out, I think you should let the doctors know. They are very anxious that such a thing should not occur again.”

She looked startled.

“Oh,” I said quickly, ‘they weren’t thinking of Gerda, but of some other girl who might find herself in a similar position. “

“If I knew I would tell,” she said.

And I believed her.

February was almost upon us. It was the month of our departure. Our minds had been so taken up with Gerda’s affair that we had not realized how speedily the time was passing.

Our walks through the forest took on a new significance for me. Often I thought: I shall soon say goodbye to all this. I wonder if I shall ever see it again.

It had been a very worthwhile experiment. It had in a way put a bridge between me and my grief. There had been quite long periods when I had been so involved in what was going on around me that I had forgotten my loss. Now I could believe that I was on the way to making a new life for myself.

Charles Fenwick contrived to be free when we were and the three of us walked together in the forest. Talk now was about plans for going home.

Charles said that it was good to see what was happening in Germany, and

it was very commendable, but of course there was plenty of room for improvement even here, in diagnoses if not in nursing care.

“They will miss you two,” he said.

“You must have been a most useful acquisition to the nursing staff.”

“They’ll miss you, too,” I replied.

“Well, Kratz and Bruckner are very efficient … very methodical, very conscientious.”

“Very German,” added Henrietta.

“You could say that. They have made this into an excellent establishment. I had heard good reports about it from a friend of mine who was here not long ago.”

“Another doctor, I suppose?”

“Yes, a very eminent man. Dr. Adair.”

“And he was favourably impressed?”

“Very. And he would be hyper-critical. He did say there could be improvements. But he is appalled by conditions in hospitals throughout the world.”

“Perhaps he will do something about it?”

“I feel sure he will. He is the sort of man who takes up something and very soon it is done. His energy is prodigious.”

“He sounds something of a paragon,” said Henrietta.

“I don’t know about that.” He laughed.

“There have been some scandals about him.”

“I am becoming more and more interested,” cried Henrietta.

“Well, there always would be about such a man. He has been out East.. travelled very widely … lived among the natives as one of them.

He has written books about his adventures. He believes that we should not shut our eyes to the methods of other races simply because they are alien to us. He believes that people may have drugs or methods of healing that we might well learn from. “