Scarred (12 page)

“Just checking to see if you want me to come to the party earlier tonight?”

“No, why?” I frowned into the phone. “We aren’t together any more, Suz.”

“Well not
currently
,” she purred.

“
Suz, it’s not going to happen.” My voice sounded frustrated. “Please accept that.”

“You never used to tell me no
, Bryce.”

“You never slept with my best friend the night before he died before.”

“Bryce.” Her voice was shocked.

“Sorry,
” I sighed. “Look, I’m kinda seeing someone else.”

“Who?” Her voice was mean and catty. “Not that bitch
, Mary?”

“Isn’t Mary one of your good friends?”

“I grace her with my presence, yes.”

“Look
, I have to go,” I sighed, eager to be away from this juvenile conversation. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

“I think we need to—” s
he continued, but I didn’t hear the rest of her sentence because I hung up. I had no interest in what she had to say. The fact that I had dated her so long was proof to me that I had been in a bad state of mind for a really long time.

“Hey
, son, can we talk?” My father walked up to me with his political grin and I knew he wanted something from me. I sighed, but knew that this moment was inevitable. I had been waiting for it since I had gotten back.

“Shall we go and talk in the study?” He walked in and sat down before waiting
for my answer. “Close the door,” he said as I followed him in. I rolled my eyes as I closed the door and sat across from him.

“Yeah?” I questioned him
, hurriedly. Whatever he wanted to talk about was not important to me.

“I think you should enroll at Notre Dame and then come and work for me as an aide.”

“I don’t think so.” I spoke quietly but firmly and I saw his nostrils flare.

“It’s not
a decision you have to make now.” He looked at me with narrowed eyes and I felt my insides flare up.

“I have no interest in politics.”

“Then what are you going to do? Play football?” he scoffed. “You ruined your chances for the Pro’s a long time ago.”

“Thanks for your belief in me
, dad.” I said, dryly, unmoved by his scathing remarks. The truth was, I never wanted to play pro-football in the first place. “I’m thinking about going back to college. I’m not sure where yet and maybe I’ll study psychology.”

“Psychology.” He frowned. “What are you going to do with that?”

“Become a psychologist?”

“I guess you can get into law school with any major. If you want to become a doctor
, I suggest studying biology or chemistry.”

“I don’t want to be a lawyer or a doctor.”

“But you want to be a shrink? Who are you going to help? Your crazy mom?”

“How dare you.” I stood up and looked at him with hate. “I wish she’d leave your sorry ass
of a husband. You’re the one who has driven her crazy.”

He looked at me with distaste and stood up as well. “You’re my son
, Bryce, so you know I have worked my hardest to make your life easy and carefree, but you are fast using up your resources, son. I suggest you come up with a plan quickly and leave.”

“Oh
, I plan on it.” I turned my back on him and walked to the door. I looked back at him before entering. “But I’d think long and hard about how you treat mom and me, you wouldn’t want it getting out how you treat your family and spend most of your time with your whores.” I slammed the door behind me as I walked out and ran up to my room. I couldn’t believe that I had just threatened my dad. It was long overdue.

I picked up the phone to call
Lexi, but I realized I didn’t have her phone number. I really hoped that she came tonight. I wanted to talk to her. To kiss her. To whisper sweet nothings in her ear. She made me feel alive. She made me feel like life was worth living. I wanted to tell her about my idea of being a psychologist. I figured I could really help people. I hoped that she would be encouraging; I needed somebody to have some faith and trust in me, even if it wasn’t deserved.

“Bryce honey, your
friends will be here soon.” My mom knocked on my door and opened it. “Why, don’t you look handsome?” She stared at me in my new jeans and navy Rugby short and smiled. “If you weren’t my son and I was a bit younger, I’d give those girls a run for their money.”

“Mom,
” I laughed and gave her a hug. “That’s so inappropriate.”

“Maybe I need to start being inappropriate.” She looked at me seriously for a second. “I heard what you said to your dad.”

“Oh mom.” My eyes widened. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” she squeezed my arm, “y
ou’re right. I thought I was staying in this marriage for you. That’s what I told myself. But I don’t know why I’m still here now. I don’t want this life anymore.”

“Mom?” I looked at her in shock, surprised to hear her voice firm and clear.

She laughed at my expression. “I know, I know. You don’t expect to hear your old mom talking like this,” she sighed. “I’m sorry, son.”

“Mom, don’t be sorry,” I hugged her tight,
“I’m soo proud of you.”

“Well
, don’t be too proud until I’m out of this house.” She smiled, weakly. “But that’s enough for now. Let’s go have a party.”

“Let’s go party.” I grinned at her. I knew that tonight was going to be a great night.
A really, really great night. I felt like all of a sudden everything was starting to go right in my life. I was soo proud of my mom. I just wanted us to pack our bags and leave, but I knew that it wouldn’t be quite that easy.

DING DONG! The doorbell rang and my mom and I grinned at each other.

“Let’s get this party started,” she smiled and I kissed her on the cheek before running down to answer the door.

“Bro
, wassup?” A bunch of my football buddies walked in the door and we gave each other bear hugs. “Looking good, Evans.”

“Hey guys, what’s up?” I was excited to see the old crew of guys. They all looked pretty much the same, though Josh and Ryan had gained weight.

“Great, man.” Ryan threw an arm around my shoulder. “Though I could do with a beer.”

“You sure you old enough to drink?” We all laughed at my joke. Ryan had a baby face and had always looked young for his age.

“Dude, I hope you have multiple kegs.” Ryan punched me in the arm and I laughed. “Oh, hey, Mrs. Evans.”

“Hi
, boys.” My mom smiled at the guys and flicked her finger. “Follow me into the kitchen if you want some food and drinks.”

“That’s what’s up,
” Josh laughed and ran after my mom.

“What would you guys like?” My mom pulled out a plate of nachos, chicken wings, hot dogs and chips and the guys grabbed plates and started eating quickly. I laughed at the
sight and saw how happy my mom was. I’d have to make sure to eat at home more often so that I could make her happy and support her decision to leave my dad.

DING DONG. The doorbell went again and I rushed to answer it. Unfortunately
, my dad got there first. “Why hello, Suzannah, what a pleasure to see you again. Why, Meg, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks
, Mayor Evans,” they echoed and blushed as my dad complimented them. I hurried over to the door.

“Hey
, guys,” I smiled.

“Bryce.”
Suzannah walked over to me and stopped right in front of me. “You look wonderful.”

“Thanks.” I looked into her sparkling blue eyes and smiled back
, warmly. “You look great as well.”

“Oh thanks,” s
he giggled, “I try.” She twirled around in her tight, blue dress and I watched as her golden hair flew through the air. She looked as beautiful as ever. Maybe even more than she did in high school as she had filled out a little bit. “Is your girlfriend here?” She looked around and I sighed.

“I don’t have a girlfriend
, Suzannah, and no.”

“Oh,” she pouted,
“I wanted to meet her.” She grabbed my arm and pushed herself into me. “But I guess that gives us more time to catch up.”

“She is coming tonight.” I tried to pry away from her.

“It’s not that dreadful Mary is it?” She frowned as she looked at me and I saw that cold, calculated look in her eyes that made her look so unattractive.

“Mary what?” Meg came up to us.

“Nothing.” Suzannah rolled her eyes.

“Hi
, Bryce.” She smiled.

“Hi
, Meg, you look beautiful tonight.”

“Oh thanks,” s
he giggled. I had always felt bad for Meg. She was Suzannah’s best friend, but she had always lived in her shadow. It was like she didn’t realize just how beautiful she really was. She seemed to think she would have no life if it weren’t for Suzannah. She’d even turned down her acceptance at the University of Chicago so that she could go to the local State school with Suzannah.

“How is Mike?”

“Good, thanks.” She giggled again. “I think he may propose soon.”

“Oh
, Meg, do stop talking about yourself. You’re insufferable.” Suzannah told her friend off as the doorbell went again. “Let’s go and get a drink.”

“Okay.” Meg followed her friend to the kitchen
, meekly, and I sighed as I heard my mom squeal when she saw Suzannah. She had always loved Suzannah and was most probably hoping we would get back together. But then she didn’t know about Suzannah’s betrayal.

“Well it looks like everyone still loves you, eh son?” My dad looked at me with narrowed eyes and I frowned at him.

“I already told you, I’m not going to work for you, dad.”

“It would be a shame if everyone knew what Eddie wrote in his suicide note.”

“What are you talking about?” I looked at him in shock. “What note? I never heard about any note.”

“I kept the note private.” He looked at me with a hint of a smile. “The police handed it to me when they found it on the scene.
Still in the envelope. Turns out that Eddie didn’t just decide to kill himself out of the blue.”

“Oh?”

“Turns out that there was an incident—or two incidents—that led to him taking his life.”

“Well
, aren’t you going to share them with me, father?” I kept my voice unwavering, I couldn’t let him see how much his words had bothered me.

“No, not now.” He smiled and opened his arms. “Go and enjoy your party and your friends. I would hate for anything to ruin your night.”

“I’m sure.” I turned around and beamed at Suzannah who had walked back out of the kitchen.

“Come on
, Bryce, let’s get some music on and some lights out.”

“Sounds good.” I was happy for the opportunity to walk away from my father
, but my head was spinning. What exactly had Eddie written? My father had talked about two incidents and I felt my insides shivering. I had a fairly certain idea what the first incident was, but the second one I could only guess at, though I was pretty sure I knew what that was as well. I thought about my reaction from that night and closed my eyes. There were so many things I wished I could change from high school days. Soo many words I said carelessly that had gone on to destroy lives.

And then the doorbell rang again and I rushed to answer it before my father got there.

It was Lexi, my beautiful Lexi. She looked angelic and hopeful standing there in her emerald green dress.

“Hi
, Bryce.” She smiled sweetly and I kissed her on the cheek.

“Hi
, Lexi.” I felt the words catch in my throat. I hadn’t been sure that she would actually come. I was soo happy that she had. I looked at Anna and Luke standing next to her, with sour looks on their faces, and I could tell that neither of them wanted to be at my party, but who was I to blame them? “Hi Anna, Luke. Thanks for coming.”

“Yeah, well
, thanks for the invite.” Luke said, reluctantly, and I had to admire him for his grace. I didn’t know if I would have been so nice. It had been obvious to me for years that Luke had been carrying a torch for Lexi. You had to be blind not to see it. I was envious of their easy friendship and a selfish part of me wanted it to end. I didn’t want this handsome, clever guy hanging out with the girl I wanted so much.

“My pleasure,
” I beamed and flicked my hand through my hair. Lexi watched me and I grinned inside. I hadn’t lost my touch. “Come inside please, guys, let’s get some drinks.”

“Your place is wonderful
, Bryce.” Anna smiled at me.

“Well
, my parents’ place,” I grinned. “I’m sure my first place will be a pigsty.”

“You’re moving out?” Anna looked surprised.

“Yes.” I spoke without thinking, surprising myself at my quick answer. I hadn’t really thought it out before now. “Yes. I’m moving. As soon as I can find a job and pay some rent.”