Ruined by You (16 page)

My insides fluttered as I told her about how close we had come in the river. I told her how he had pulled me in close, and how he had kissed me.

“God, that sounds so romantic,” she said. “I’ve never had anything that hot happen to me.”

I shook my head and looked at the table.

“It was the most romantic thing anyone’s ever done with me,” I said. “But, I freaked out and ruined everything.” I took another sip of the hot coffee. “Just as he kissed me, I screamed at him to stop, and ran off.”

Sarah’s head reeled backward, and she stared at me, bewildered.

“Why would you do something like that?” she asked.

I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her about the flashbacks, of the horrible things that he had done to my mother. But I had never told anybody those secrets. Even Mom didn’t know that I had kept her secrets safe for her.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I just got to thinking about things,” I said. “I got to thinking about everything that’s gone on, and everything that happened with Mom. I’ve worked for so long to keep guys away from me, to keep myself focused on what was really important.” There was a long silence. “Haden almost got through.”

Sarah looked at me for a long second before responding. “And that’s a bad thing?” she asked. “I thought you were really starting to like him.”

“I am,” I said. “That’s the confusing part. I don’t know why I’m so afraid to let him get close to me.”

Sarah’s face quirked as she thought about it. I knew there really wasn’t any answer she could give that I hadn’t already thought about myself. The truth of the matter was that I
did
know why I didn’t want to let Haden in. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him--it was that I trusted him too much. I wasn’t ready to open myself up to being hurt like that--the memory of what it had done to Mom was still too fresh. And she was stronger than I’d ever had to be.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I need to just keep my distance from him - focus on myself for a while.”

“What about the Battle of the Bands?” she asked. “Isn’t he helping you with that?”

“I’m going to tell Scottie that I can’t do it anymore,” I said. “After everything that happened in San Antonio the other day, I just don’t think I can bring myself to talk to another band. I’m too scared that I’ll mess everything up again.”

“So you’re going to look for another summer job then?” she asked.

I nodded. “I have to. I need the money.”

We sat in silence for a long time. I sipped the coffee, and Sarah kept checking her phone to see if any text messages had snuck by her. After a while, I began to realize just how quiet around the house it was.

“Where is everyone?” I asked.

“Your mom and Grandma were already gone when I got up,” she said. “I don’t know where they’ve been running off to - it seems like they’ve barely been here at all since you guys got to town.”

“They weren’t home when I got home yesterday, either,” I said, puzzled.

“They were in last night when I got here, but that was late,” she said. “They’re probably just spending a lot of time catching up. You guys have been gone for so long.”

I nodded, but I had a sinking feeling in my stomach all the same.

“I hope that’s it,” I said. “The whole trip here felt so last minute. It was out of character for Mom.”

Sarah frowned at me. “You think something else is going on?” she asked.

I sighed. “I’m just worried about Grandma. She’s getting older and I always fear for the worst.”

Sarah thought about it for a second. “I don’t know, Grandma seems fine,” she said. “Besides, if there was something wrong, then my parents would be here instead of on vacation, right? As long as they’re gone, I’m pretty sure we’re in the clear.”

I thought about that for a second and began to feel better.

“That’s a good point,” I said.
 

“So what are your plans for today?” she asked.

“I need a day off,” I said. “I need a day to just relax and figure everything out.”

A smile spread across her face. “I have the perfect plan,” she said. “Let’s go to the spa and spend the day there. Then, we can go shopping and buy a new outfit.”

The thought of it put a smile on my face. “That sounds nice,” I said. “But there’s no way I can afford to do something like that.”

Sarah waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll cover you,” she said.

I groaned. “I can’t have my little cousin paying my way,” I said.

She rolled her eyes. “She won’t be,” she teased. “Your favorite aunt and uncle will be. They have a house account at a spa in San Antonio that I use every now and then. I don’t think they even look at the bill when they pay it.”

“Jeez, that must be nice,” I said. “We usually can’t even go grocery shopping without adding everything up before we check out.”

Sarah shrugged, again. “And that’s exactly why they won’t mind treating you to a nice relaxing day in the city,” she said.

The more I thought about it, the bigger the smile got on my face. It sounded like the exact thing I needed after the last few days with Haden. I was getting tired of things going disastrously wrong. I needed a day to relax and just have fun. A day spent with Sarah might be just what I needed to make everything better.

“OK, let’s do it,” I said. “You don’t think Huck’s going to mind, do you?”

Sarah laughed. “Well, I’d ask him if he wanted to tag along, but something tells me that he’s not going to be interested.”

We laughed together and my mood was already brightening. The day was going to be just what the doctor ordered for my sour spirits. A day away from Green Falls, the Saloon, and Haden. It would help me figure out exactly what I was doing with my life.

We spent the rest of the morning getting dressed and ready for our day in the city. Sarah insisted that I drive so we could take the Corvette, and I wasn’t about to protest. The drive to the city was peaceful, and I couldn’t help but think about Haden the entire way.

He and I had just driven the same highway only two days earlier. We had formed a connection on that trip that I hadn’t been expecting. That was when I first realized just how easy it was to talk to him. I realized that all the defenses and walls I’d put up, and held in front of everyone else, somehow didn’t apply to him. He just ignored them, moved through them, not even realizing they were there. The fact that I found that notion so peaceful, terrified the hell out of me.

“Oh my God, I love this song,” Sarah said, suddenly. She spun the volume knob until the music pounded in the car. It was the same song we’d heard on that first night, on the way to the Saloon.

“Me too,” I said. She had been right. It gets stuck in your head.

“Do you know who sings it?” she asked.

I shook my head. We laughed, and began singing along. The song was so catchy that you only needed to hear it once or twice to get the chorus stuck in your head. I hit a button and both of the windows descended. Sarah screamed and stuck her hand outside, high in the air. I laughed and did the same.

Wind flooded through the car, and tried to take my outstretched arm with it. I pushed the pedal down even harder, and the Corvette launched to life. The feeling of the speed against the car, and against us, was so liberating.

I looked at Sarah, and she looked at me. We screamed wild fits of laughter and kept singing. When the song closed to the end, the DJ started talking.

That was The Believers with their new smash single, ‘Falling’. Rumor has it they’re joining Maroon 5 on their summer tour, so be look on the lookout for those tickets.

“Now
that’s
a concert I’d like to see,” Sarah said.

I grinned. “Definitely,” I said. “Maybe they’ll come to Texas.”

We drove the rest of the way with smiles plastered across our faces. The day had started off good, and it was only getting better. Sarah navigated us through the streets of San Antonio until we came to the day spa. It was a high-end kind of place, and was unlike any place I’d ever been to before. Thankfully, Sarah knew what she was doing, and handled everything.
 

The treatment was five stars the whole way. A massage, manicure, pedicure, and sauna, all capped off with time spent in a stylist’s chair, getting our hair done. By the time we were ready to leave, several hours had passed and I felt like a brand new person. I almost didn’t recognize the girl I saw in the mirror. I glowed.

The fire-haired angel
, I thought. I liked that.

Afterward, Sarah took us to a swanky mall in the suburbs between Green Falls and San Antonio. She said that she wanted to go shopping for a new outfit - something that she could wear for Huck. We searched a few of the department stores, before arriving at Nordstrom, where we should have started from the beginning.

“You seem so… excited,” I said, as Sarah looked through a wide assortment of dresses. “Everything seems to be going really well with you two.”

She grinned and nodded, not taking her eyes away from the clothes.

“I don’t know how to explain it,” she said. “Huck makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt in my entire life. I can’t stop thinking about him. I just want to be with him, every second of every day.”

I watched as her face took on that familiar glow that I’d seen earlier. It was the same glow she’d had the night at the motocross demonstration. A small part of me was jealous that she was able to make everything look so easy.

“I’m so happy for you,” I said.

She looked at me. “None of it would have been possible without you,” she said, seriously. “I probably wouldn’t have even realized what I was feeling for him if you hadn’t pointed it out.”

I waved my hand. “You would have gotten there, eventually,” I said.

She grinned. “Well, if we ever get married, you’re definitely going to be my Maid of Honor.”

She rifled through a few more dresses while I stood there, stunned. Sarah was barely coming into adulthood and she was already thinking about marrying a guy. Part of me wanted to warn her to be careful, but the look in her eye told me that she had never been so sure of something in her life. When it came to Huck, she had no doubts.

“That’s sweet of you,” I said. “That’s an awfully big step to be thinking about, isn’t it?”

She shrugged. “I don’t think so. It just feels… natural. Like that’s just how things are supposed to be.” She pulled out one dress and eyed it, intently. “I don’t really know how else to explain it.” She swung around and held the dress up in front of me. “This is perfect,” she said.

I frowned. “Perfect for what?” I asked.

“For you, silly,” she said.

I looked at the dress again, surprised. It was a fine little white thing. A thin belt looped around the middle. The dress flared out at the bottom, and I found myself all but drooling at the thought of wearing it for Haden. I knew it would look perfect on me, and I wanted nothing more than for him to see me in it.

The price tag was looped around one of the straps at the top, and I turned it over to look at it.

I gulped, deeply. “Sarah, there’s no way I can afford this. It’s almost two hundred dollars.”

Her mouth quirked to the side as she looked at the price tag for herself. She held it up in front of me again, judging it once more.

“It sure is a nice dress, though,” she said.

I groaned loudly. “It’s perfect,” I said. “I just can’t go spending that kind of money on clothes right now.”

“That’s exactly why I’m going to buy it for you,” she said.

My jaw dropped and I shook my head from side to side.

“I can’t let you do that,” I said. “It’s way too expensive.”

“It’s not up for debate,” she said. “I’m buying this dress, and you’re going to love it. It’s the least I can do for everything you’ve done for me.”

“I haven’t done anything for you,” I said. “You’ve already done so much for me, though. You’ve spent your time driving me all over town, not to mention you hooked me up with a job as soon as I got here.”

She shrugged. “Still. I’m getting it for you whether you like it or not,” she said. “So just smile, and say thank you.” She pushed it into my arms.

A huge smile spread across my face as I held it up and looked at it. I could see myself wearing it for Haden. I could almost see the look on his face when I pressed myself up against him and finished what he had started, already.

Thinking of him like that startled me.

I couldn’t keep thinking about Haden that way. Especially not after everything that had happened at the river. He had made his move, and I had, literally, screamed at him, and ran off. So, why couldn’t I stop picturing myself in his arms?

You need to talk to him. You need to explain what happened.

The realization crept into the back of my thoughts, and made its home there. I wanted to talk to him so badly. I wanted to hear his voice, and I wanted to be in his arms again.

Why are you so stupid? Why did you run out on him like that?

I lost myself as I followed Sarah around the store for another hour. She found a few more dresses that she liked, and I waited outside the dressing room while she tried them on. Each time, she came out and did a little twirl for me, and I told her what I thought.

But I wasn’t really there - I was thinking about Haden.

It was becoming harder to keep him out of my mind. I heard his voice, telling me all those sweet things he’d said down by the river. I wasn’t like any other girl he’d met--I was strong.

Maybe not as strong as he thought.

I groaned to myself and wondered if he would ever talk to me again.

Sarah finished trying on the dresses, and she chose three for herself. I tried to ignore how much everything cost, because I knew it would make me sick. I wasn’t jealous of the money her family had, but I didn’t like to think about it too much, either.

The sun was already setting as we drove back to Green Falls. I needed to talk to Scottie. I needed to tell him that he had bet on the wrong horse - that I wasn’t going to be able to finish what I’d started. A sinking feeling appeared in the pit of my stomach when I thought about it, but it was the right thing to do. There wasn’t any other option.