Risking Fate (34 page)

She brought her hand up to my face. “Did you sleep?”

I shook my head. I couldn’t sleep, not with everything the way it was. My twins were going to be okay but Miranda was still in danger. There was no way in Hell I was going to rest until I knew she was out of the woods.

“Why don’t you go rest? I’m sure my mother would like to know that I’m awake.”

I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“Ty,” She grabbed my head and held it against her face. “I promise you that I’m not going to die.”

I hated hearing her say it like that. “Don’t even say that word. I can’t hear it anymore. You don’t understand how I felt when I thought you were gone. I’m sorry, Miranda, but I can’t sleep. I can’t eat and I don’t want to spend a second away from you. I can’t lose you. I can’t ever lose you.”

I’ve lost my balls and all of my dignity. I’m a damn
crybaby
.

“I told you that I’m coming home with you, Ty. I’m not going to take the kids from you. I couldn’t do that.”

I shook my head before resting it back against hers. “You don’t understand.”

Her hand reached for mine and I squeezed it. “I do understand.
It’s going to take time, Ty. I still love you, but you ripped my heart out. I hurt so much right now, physically and emotionally. I can’t just forgive and forget. I know it isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the truth.”

“The damage is done, so I guess I have to take what I can get. I mean, I don’t want to live one second without you. This just isn’t how I wanted our life to be. Just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

I closed my eyes and whispered into her ear as I let my lips drag over her skin. “Promise me you will try to forgive me, no matter how long it takes.”

When she nodded, I grabbed both sides of her face and pressed my lips against hers. Yeah, they were crusty and probably hurt her, but I needed to feel them. I expected her to pull away, but she let me keep
them there. As I stood up, I turned around and continued to hold her hand. “I’ll never stop trying.”

She smiled. “Promise?”

“I promise.” I kissed her hand before walking out the door so that she could see her mother. For right
now,
Miranda still loved me. I was paying the ultimate price for my actions, even if they were forced on me without my say. I wasn’t about to lose my wife, no matter what I had to do, or how long it took me to prove it.

I found Van in the NICU. She’d told the nurse she was Miranda’s sister instead of cousin. Since my boys were still the only ones there, they seemed to be a bit more lenient abou
t visitors. She was holding Jax
when she saw me walking in. “Hey, is everything okay?”

I got a big smile on my face, unable to contain my happiness. “She’s awake, Van. She woke up about an hour ago.”

“Oh my God, we have to call her mother?” She handed me my son and pulled out her cell phone. “I’ll be right back.”

I looked down at Jax’s sleeping little body. He was so much tinier than any baby I had ever held, but that didn’t make him any less cute. In fact, he and his brother were both adorable. I couldn’t tell who they
looked like yet, but they definitely had my dark hair. I pulled off his cap to run my fingers through his little fuzzy head. I couldn’t believe they were mine.

Since I had to take turns with Miranda’s mother, I spent half of my time with my boys. I had changed their diapers and helped the nurse sponge both of them off. Jake peed on me during my first diaper change and I wasn’t prepared for it at all. The nurses had all laughed and said it was normal, but I’d never had that happen with Izzy.

Jax started to wiggle and open his eyes. “Hey, Buddy, Daddy’s back.” I kissed his little soft
forehead
. “Your Mommy woke up earlier. She can’t wait to meet you and your brother. She’s so happy you’re both okay. Daddy’s happy too. I love you all so much.”

I felt a hand on my shoulder and noticed Van was back. “She’s on her way back from the hotel. She thinks you should take the car and get some rest. I can stay here if you need me to.”

I shook my head and continued to stare at my son. ‘I’m not leaving.”

“Ty, don’t be stubborn. You look horrible. You have to eat something.”

I stood up and put Jax back in his bed, then reached over and grabbed his brother. They were a little
hard to get out with the
wires hooked to their bodies, but I was extra careful as I did it. “Van, I appreciate you caring about me, but I’m fine. I can’t leave her. I just can’t.”

“Was she able to talk?”

I smiled thinking about her pretty face. “Yeah, she talked. She’s in a bunch of pain, but she could talk fine.”

“Did she talk about…you know?”

I nodded. “A little, she didn’t want to and she refuses to hear my side. Honestly, I don’t know if it would even make a difference anymore. The damage is done. It’s going to take a lifetime to get her to trust me again. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn’t trust me either.”

“So where does she plan on going? She’s just going to move back to Kentucky and take the kids from you? I can’t believe Heather stooped this low. I mean, I guess I can believe it, I just can’t
believe
she would intentionally break up a family. She had to know you wouldn’t run back to her. I just don’t get it.”

I thought about Miranda moving to Kentucky and my stomach started to ache. “She’s not leaving me. Well, she said we’re going to raise our family together.”

“Are you sure it isn’t the drugs talking?”

Oh,
shit! I hadn’t thought of that. What if it was? What if she did take the kids?

“She said she still loves me and even though she can’t forgive me right now, she could never take away my kids. I’m going to
prove to her that I’m not the guy she thinks I am. I don’t know how, but I will prove it.”

Van leaned down and brushed the back of her hand over Jakes cheek. “They really look like you, Ty. Miranda is going to freak out when she sees them. I think that even if she did want to leave, these boys would change her mind. It doesn’t hurt that you are such a good father. Miranda knows that. She also knows that you are crazy in love with her. She may not feel it right now, but she knows it’s true. Just so you know, Colt didn’t believe the Heather ordeal either. He didn’t even think twice before he shook his head and said it wasn’t possible. You’ve changed, Ty. I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that wonders if you could
have really cheated again, but I can hear the sincerity in your voice and know that you’re telling me the truth.”

I
kissed my other son and set him
back in his little bed. “I am. The things in those pictures are something I never would have done to Heather or anyone else for that matter. I only do those things to Miranda, drunk or not, it’s not possible.
Besides, why would I want someone else when no one remotely even compares to my wife? That’s ridiculous!”

“Yeah, but you kept it from her. That’s what makes you look so guilty.”

I waved to the nurse as Van and
I
walked out of the NICU. “I know. Either way it would have hurt her. I was just trying to avoid that. Trust me, if I would have known this would all blow up in my face, I would have done things differently.”

Van reached her arms around me and held them there. I rested my chin on her head and accepted her comfort. “I’m sorry this is happening to you guys.”

“Me too.”

She looked up at my face and ran her hands on my stubble. “When is the last time you showered?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Yesterday morning or wait maybe it was the morning before. Shit, I don’t even know what day it is.”

“Ty, please go to the hotel. Get a shower, grab something to eat and please get some rest. You need to be strong for your family. I haven’t seen you look this bad since your coma. What will your mother say when she sees you like this?”

The elevator doors opened and Miranda’s mother came rushing out. “Is it true? Is she awake?”

“Yeah, she’s asking for you. I’m going to….um, if it’s okay, I’m going to go back and shower.”

She hugged me and pulled away. “Take as long as you need, Ty. I k
now this is hard for you. Thank
you for being such a good husband to her. I think it’s your love that kept her fighting.”

As she walked away I looked toward Van and shook my head. “Just wait til she hears this is all my fault. She won’t be thanking me then.”

Even though I hadn’t seen my parents yet, they had arrived and taken Izzy back to a hotel room so that she could sleep. The poor child must have been so confused.

Van rolled her eyes and pulled out the car keys. “Let’s get you out of here for a while.”

I didn’t want to go, but my lack of sleep was making me dizzy, not to mention that I couldn’t remember the last time I had eaten. Van stopped at a
fa
s
t food
drive thru and I think I was finished my meal before we pulled out of the parking lot. We didn’t say much on the short ride to the hotel. I looked down at my dingy clothes and felt filthy. I hadn’t even thought about how awful I must smell.

Colt was snoring away when we walked into the hotel room. He woke right up when Van threw her keys on the dresser. She sat on the edge of the bed and
kissed
him right away. “She woke up.”

He wiped his eyes and looked toward me. “Hey Bro, congrats. I know you needed to hear that news.”

“Yeah, I still don’t want to be gone too long. You mind if I grab a shower?”

Van got up and ran toward the corner of the room. She pulled out a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt and even a pair of boxers. “Here.”

“When did you have time to pack?”

She put her hands on her hips. “Colt and I were planning on going to the cabin. When we got the call, I grabbed our bag that I had packed and brought it with us.”

“Good thing you did. I smell like ass.”

The shower was extra hot and I stood there letting the water fall down over my back. My life was so fucked up. I wished I could just wash away the last few months and start over. That would have been
a hell of a lot easier than living through the past few days.

Colt was taller than me, so naturally I had to roll up my pant legs, but everything else fit fine. I started to ask to borrow his razor, but I just lathered up my face and did it without his permission. If he wanted to bitch about it, I’d buy him a new one.

When I came out of the bathroom, Van and Colt were wrapped in each other’s arms sound asleep. I wanted to get to the hospital, but I opted to give them a few minutes to rest. I paced around the room until finally collapsing face first on the bed.

That was the last thing I remembered until I felt a pillow waking me up.

“Ty, wake up.”

I sat up and realized it was dark outside. “Holy shit! What time is it?”

“After seven. Aunt Karen just called and said Miranda is askin’ for you.”

I jumped up and started to put my shoes on. “Did she just call? I didn’t even hear the phone ring. Mine’s dead.”

Van handed me my phone. “I have the same charger so while you slept I charged it for you. I also went out and got you a toothbrush. I know you have an obsession with fresh breath.” She winked at me.

“Shut up and thank you.”

It felt great to brush my teeth, but I wanted to hurry. Miranda was asking for me to come back. If she said jump, I needed to do it.

I rushed back into the wing where Miranda was being taken care of. Her mother was standing there waiting to switch places with me. I
walked up to give her a hug and she slapped me in the face. The blow was so unexpected that it jerk
ed
me back against Van.

“What the Hell?”

“I don’t know what you did to my daughter, but she should have never been driving all that way alone. She refuses to tell me the truth.”

“They had a fight, that’s it. Ty would never do anything to hurt her.” I was amazed that Van had taken up for me like that and so was my mother in law.

“You only know what he’s told you. Tyler Mitchell, you better not be keeping something from me.”

Van pulled me away from Miranda’s mother. “She’s just overwhelmed Ty. She went in there and saw Miranda and probably lost it. She’ll apologize later. Go in there and be with your wife. If you need anything just text me or Colt. Tell her we love her.”

She kissed me on the cheek before walking toward a very mad Karen Healy.

I shook my head but continued walking toward Miranda’s bed. She smiled when she saw me and I lit up too. “Hey, Baby.” I hesitated
before reaching down to kiss her.
At this point, I didn’t even know whether she wanted me to.

“You smell good.”

“Rumor has it I stunk earlier. Van took me back to the hotel and forced me to shower with her.”
Miranda cocked her eyebrow. “Colt was there too.”

Maybe it was a shitty joke, but I felt so uncomfortable being around her that joking was the only way for me to cope.