Risking Fate (35 page)

“Probably should stick to jokes that have nothin’ to do with bein’ naked, at least for the time bein’.”

I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans. “So, how was your visit with your mother?”

“She kept tryin’ to find out why I was drivin’ to Kentucky without tellin’ anybody.”

“Why didn’t you just tell her the truth? Don’t I deserve to be hated for what I did?”

She started crying and I felt so bad. She was lying there in the hospital bed and I was trying to crack jokes and be sarcastic. “I don’t
know how to hate you, Ty. I’m so in love with you that I can’t bear to be without you. I mean, I hate what you did, but I hate thinkin’ about not bein’ with you. I’m so confused.”

I grabbed her hand, knowing she wasn’t going to let go. “Please listen to my side of the story.”

With tears in her eyes she nodded her head. “I’m afraid. I can’t hear you say what you did. I just can’t hear you talk about it.”

“I think you’
re going to want to hear this.” I squeezed her hand tighter. “Just tell me to stop if it hurts too much. Just let me tell you, Miranda. I can’t go another day with this on my chest. I’ve wanted to tell you about that night, but I couldn’t believe it myself. Please.”

“Okay.”

I kissed her hand and put it to my chest. “Don’t let go of my hand. I can’t do this without you touching me.”

It was time for me to relive every second of that night and to try and convince my wife that I
never had any intention of ever
being with Heather.

Chapter 24

Miranda

More than a day had passed since my accident, but the visions of those pictures were still fresh in my mind. The problem was, so was my undying love for Ty. In light of our boys being born prematurely and everything I was going through, I couldn’t imagine him not being by my side, in fact I longed for his touch more than I ever had before.

I could tell he felt uncomfortable. He was rubbing my hand with his thumbs as he focused on telling me his side of how he’d cheated on me. I don’t know why I wanted to hear it so badly. Either way, it was proof that it happened.

I started to tell him to stop even before he started. In
order for us to get through this, I had to know the truth. I’d rather him tell me while my fam
ily was all here to help pick up
the pieces of my broken heart when it shattered all over the floor.

“That night when I found out Heather wasn’t going to help us because you sent her that text, I was so mad at you. I mean, she deserved everything you said, but it was my last hope at securing my position in Izzy’s life.”

I nodded. “I know.”

“The last thing I wanted to do was go along with some plan to seduce her into helping me again. That was never my idea and if you remember, you made me do it. I hated the fucking plan from the get go. I mean, who in their right mind would have gone along with something so stupid? Oh right, I did.” He shook his head and let out a frustrated sigh. “Anyway, the whole way there I was a wreck and you know I called you from outside, begging you again to change your mind.”

“I know, Ty. So what changed? Did you know all along that something would happen if you went inside?” He didn’t like my accusation. He scrunched up his face and cocked his brow.

“Is that what you think?”

I started to pull my hand away from his, but he tightened his grip. “I don’t know. I guess the thought has crossed my mind.”

He shook his head. “Well, you’re wrong, Miranda. I can’t stand even looking at that bitch. There’s no way in Hell that I was afraid of what would happen, unl
ess you include strangling her.”

I don’t know what came over me, but I snapped my head in his direction. “Then tell me how you go from feelin’ that way about
someone to shoving your face between her legs and doing something to her that I will never be able to forgive you for.”

His eyes got real big and he just stared at me. Finally he sighed and looked down at his feet. Once more, I tried to pull my hand away, but he pulled it even tighter. “When I went inside, I sat righ
t down on her couch. She took the bait at first and really thought you kicked me out, especially when you sent me the texts. I have to admit, even though I knew they were coming, I still couldn’t handle reading your words. They were harsh.”

The more Ty talked the more it made no sense how he ended up sleeping with her. From how he was explaining things, it seemed like she made him ill. “I’m not following, Ty. What changed?”

His thumb started rubbing my hand again. “I did my best trying to convince her that I was there because you and I were done. The more I tried the more she questioned me. She even asked me if I was trying to trick her into giving me the papers. Finally, she told me that…..,” He sat down and scooted his chair over to my bedside. Our fingers intertwined together and he focused on my hands when he started to speak again. “She told me that I had to kiss her.”

“We talked about that. I told you that if you had to do it to make her
believe
you, then you should.”

He shook his head. “I know and I tried, but the moment her lips touched mine, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I didn’t want to be there. I felt sick, so I ran out of the room. When I finally got myself together, she was having more doubts about my intentions. She offered to get me a drink to settle my nerves. Miranda, the last thing I remember is drinking that drink. I swear to God that I never wanted to touch that bitch.”

This time when I pulled my hand away, he didn’t try to stop me. “Then you tell me how I have pictures of you enjoying every inch of her.”

“I don’t know. All I can think is that she put something in my drink. She had to.”

He has got to be crazy if he thinks I am going to let him talk his way out of this. I saw the pictures!

I held my hand up. “Stop! Please, I can’t hear anymore. You do realize you are telling me that you never cheated on me. The pictures show you holding her legs while you’re feasting out. Stop the bullshit lies. I’m not Van, who had no clue what you did behind her back. I know you Ty.”

He looked at me like I was causing him real pain. “I’m telling you the truth, you can ask C……”

“I can ask who? Was there a third person in the room with you? Was it a threesome?”
Maybe Heather got her slutty little friend to come over. She’d done it before.

“Hell no!
Jesus Christ Miranda, do you think that low of me?
”

“Do you really want me to answer that right this second?”
He really didn’t.

“I woke up naked in her bed and got the hell out of there. I didn’t even bother putting on a fucking shirt, Miranda. I ran out of there as fast as I could.”

I slammed my hand down on the bed. “Just stop talking, Ty. I can’
t hear anymore.”

“I’m telling you the truth. Look at me. Does it look like I’m lying to you?” He did look sincere.

“Obviously, I don’t know how to read you like I thought I did. You’ve been lying to me for months. What am I supposed to think? What exactly did you think would happen? That story makes you seem so innocent in all of this, yet I saw the pictures.”

He reached for my arm and I pulled away. “I know it’s hard to
believe
, but it’s the truth. I will spend every single day trying to prove it to you. Our family means everything to me. Tell me you at least believe that.”

I wanted to disagree with him, but it would have been a lie. I knew how much we did mean to him. In fact, I knew he would give his own life for me and the kids. It wasn’t Ty’s love that I doubted, it was his ability to be faithful to me. His story wasn’t exactly what I expected him to say. How could he make up a story that made him seem completely innocent. I would have loved for that story to be true, more than anything in the world, I wanted it, but it was just too easy. He couldn’t explain the pictures and they were what were permanently memorized in my head. “I know you love us, Ty. Your love for me is what makes all of this so hard, you know that. I don’t understand how you could love me so much, but do the one thing you knew would rip us apart.”

This time Ty got up from the chair and walked to the other side of the room. I’d seen him pace a million times, pondering on important decisions. Sometimes he would even bite his nails, but this time something was different. He’d obviously suffered the most emotion
al
day of his life yesterday and to make matters worse, we weren’t even sure where we stood as far as our relationship.

I knew I was going home with him. I would keep that promise to him and try to make thing
s
work, but trusting Ty was going to be a feat for me. It meant everything to me and now it was gone. How was I supposed to start over?

My recovery wasn’t going to be as easy as when I had Bella. I knew I would need his help and that someone from our family would always be around. I didn’t know if Ty had told Van about what was going on, and if he did, I didn’t care. She was our best friend and I expected that, but I didn’t want anyone else to know. Sure, she would tell Colt, but they would keep it between them. Our secrets always ended up
involving
the four of us, which in some ways made things easier to get through. We always had someone else to talk to.

He continued to pace around my little area without speaking to me. We were both mad at each other and I wasn’t ready to make nice. I didn’
t want to lose him either.

“Ty?”

“What?”

“I need you here with me right now and I need you by my side when we’re raisin’ our children. I’m goin’ to need you to fight
alongside
me when we go to court about Bella.” My stomach and back were
starting
to
ache and the pain was getting to be hard to talk through. “I’m so mad at you right now, I’m not goin’ to lie about it, but I also know that I can’t live without you. I know it’s goin’ to be hard for you, but
I’m
askin’ you to give me time to heal. I’m askin’ you to keep lovin’ me even when I’m bein’ horrible. I can’t promise that when I’m feelin’ better I’m not goin’ to freak on you at random times. I know I pushed you to go there that night and I want to believe your story, Ty, because it would mean that you never cheated on me, but we both know I can’t.”

He still wouldn’t turn to look at me.
“I hate that you don’t believe me.”

“
I’m
sorry.” I just couldn’t.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I didn’t know it at first, but once I had you, I knew it right away. I can’t breathe without you, do you get that?” Ty still wouldn’t turn around.

Hearing him say that actually took my breath away. I still had the tubes in my nose, but they were turned down enough where I had to take a deep breath. “Yes.”

Finally, he turned around. His lips were pushed firmly together and he looked so hurt. “I was a shitty boyfriend, everyone knows that, but you were never just my girlf
riend, I always saw you as my future. I’ve
never been
surer
about anything except being Izzy’s father. You can doubt my story all you want, but it’s the fucking truth.
You think you are the only one hurt here, but for the past two months I have been consumed with guilt. Every single time I looked at you, I saw what I knew I would eventually lose. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to be happy, when I knew it was only a matter of time?
As far as being there for you, well you never had to even ask that, because there is no way in hell I would ever let you go. Just so you know, before I heard about the accident, I had already made my mind up that if you moved back to Kentucky, I was moving there too. I can’t live without you, Miranda.”

He would follow me to Kentucky? He would leave his parents and his farm?
It had to be for the kids.

“You’d do that for your kids?”

“No Miranda, I’d do it for you, for us and for our family. I’d follow you anywhere.”

God, I wanted to believe him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and never let go. He meant every word of what he was saying. I could feel it in every inch of my fragile body.

I reached for my husband and he just stood there far enough away that I couldn’t touch him. “Ty
, I know you’re hurting too. I don’t know what the future holds, but every part of
me
has to believe that God wouldn’t have saved me if he didn’t have plans for us. All I’m asking is for time.
”

Ty shook his head and sat back down in the chair. He traced over my wedding ring with his fingers. “
I’m sorry, but all I can offer you is forever.”

I looked up when I got the sarcastic answer and he winked at me. “Forever is a good start.”

“I know you aren’t ready to forgive me, but I think we should seal this agreement with a kiss.”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t push your luck.”

I wasn’t ready to forget about any of it, in fa
ct, I didn’t know if I was ever
going to be able to, but as much as I was upset for myself, I hated to see him suffering too. Maybe it was wrong for me to give him some kind of false hope when I wasn’t sure myself, but
I did it anyway.