Risking Fate (38 page)
Bella and Noah were playing with one of her pop up tents. He was the farmer dad and she was cooking him his dinner. His plate was full of plastic fries,
plastic
peas and an actual
plastic
can of tuna. He pretended to eat the little food, while she did the dishes. When they saw me laughing in the doorway they got mad and chased me out of the room. I couldn’t run, so just turning around was good enough for them to leave me be.
Ty was in the nursery with the boys. A little music player was turned up to block out the sound from the other rooms and he didn’t hear me come into the doorway. He had both of them on his lap and was rocking them in the chair. He held them like footballs on both arms.
I was going to go in and join him until I heard him start talking. He was looking down at each of them not paying any attention to who might be standing in the doorway. “You
two
really gave Mommy a hard time
coming into this world. I hope that means you’re going to be tough, cause life isn’t always how we’d like it to be. Now, I can promise you that I will always be there for you for anything. You and your sister make every single day worth living. I love you guys so much.”
For the past week we had been putting a blue hat on Jax and a red one on Jake. Jax was sound asleep, but Jake was wide eyed, looking around while Ty kept talking. “You know, daddy wasn’t always the best guy. I didn’t always think with the right head, if you know what I mean.” He paused for a second and laughed at himself. “I guess you don’t know yet. One day I will teach you not to make the same mistakes that I made. Never think with your dick and always tell the truth. That is how you should always live your life.”
I put my hand over my mouth and tried to hold in my laughter. Ty was being serious and I was laughing at him, but the next thing he said stopped my laughter immediately.
“The hardest part is that she didn’t believe me. I told her the truth and she believed someone else instead.
I’m never going to give up on her, but it’s so hard
knowing
she doubts me.”
I ducked away from the door and kept my hand over my mouth.
I could hear Ty sniffling as he continued to talk. “Daddy is trying so hard and if it wasn’t for you two, I think she would have left me by now.
Knowing
that hurts me so much. I promise I will keep trying. I
won’t
give up until I have her back
completely
. I promise.”
As the tears fell down my face, I ran into my bedroom. I was suddenly so confused. Did he know I was standing there? If he didn’t know then why would he be talking like that? Why would he say that he was telling the truth?
Oh God, what if he was telling the truth?
Even if I believed him, there were still the pictures, which meant if she did drug him, they still could have done all those things. It should have made me feel better because Ty really didn’t want to be with her, but it felt the same to me.
Seeing my husband eating another woman out was not something I would want any wife to see.
Van came in the room a little later with Christian. Noah had been calling her Chrissy and it seemed to be catching on. She was so cute with her one big dimple and her mouth full of teeth. I remember when Bella was that size and she was also so much fun to be around.
“You okay in here?”
I pulled my knees up to my chest as far as I could get them without being uncomfortable. “Yeah,
I’m
just really tired.”
“I saw you in the hallway earlier.
You were crying and I didn’t want to interfere. I thought maybe you and Ty were fighting, but he said you were still sleeping.”
“Van, can I ask you something and get your honest opinion?”
She held onto her
daughter’s
hands as she tried to stand on my bed. “Of
course
.”
“Do you think Ty would cheat on me?”
“If you’re talking about the Heather thing you should know he told me. The answer is no. He hates Heather. There is no way he would do that. Besides, he is obsessed with you. He called me crying the night of your accident. I just knew he was telling me the truth.”
“You didn’t see the pictures. I know it happened.”
Van shook her head but paid close attention to her daughter. “I didn’t see the pictures.”
I don’t know what came over me, but I became so defensive that I went out into the living room and started searching for the pictures. I knew that
Ty
had been with me since the day I left him, so they had to still be somewhere in the house. Then it hit me. If Ty hadn’t put away the pictures, then my brother was the one to find them and put them away.
Van must have seen the look on my face. “What?”
“I think Conner knows what Ty did.”
Van started laughing. “Do you really think if your brother saw those pictures Ty would still be able to stand?”
“Hell no. Ty had to put them up.”
“Put what up?” I turned around to see my husband standing in the doorway with Jake. “Someone is hungry for a big melon.”
Van coughed when she heard what he said.
He brought the baby over to me and I got myself ready to feed him. As I was pulling my shirt down he asked again. “So, what did I put up?”
I felt bad even bringing it up, especially after what I had just heard. “It’s nothin’.”
He put his hands on his hips and waited for me to answer.
Van didn’t give me a chance. “I want to see the pictures.”
“Of the boys?” Obviously he was oblivious to what we were talking about.
“No, the other pictures.”
Ty frowned and looked over at me.
“Oh, those.”
“Ty, I didn’t want to make you upset.” Van waited for him to answer.
“No, it’s fine, I just really didn’t want to ever look at them again. They’re buried in the woodstove. I’ll be right back.”
Van lifted up Christian and followed behind him. “Ty wait, I’ll just go with you and we can burn them together.
I focused down on little Jake who was chowing down, when I noticed Ty walking back in the room. He stood there looking at me just clenching his jaw. “Only you, Miranda.”
I felt like my heart skipped a beat when he s
aid it. Just like that, he was gone.
Getting up was still a problem for me, so I actually had to call Colt into the bedroom to help me. By the time I laid Jake down, Jax was up and hungry. At this rate I wasn’t ever going to get any sleep. This time I sat down on the couch next to my cousin. He turned his head away as I got adjusted to feed Jax. I covered all the skin up so Colt wouldn’t freak out and let him know it was okay to turn his head back.
“How you doin’, Darlin?”
“It’s safe to say I’ve been better. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we’re all home safe, but it has been really hard.”
Noah and Bella came running in the room. “Dad, can you get us some foil?”
“For what?”
“We want to be super
heroes
.”
I started to giggle, but realized I was shaking poor little Jax’s head.
Colt let out a cackle. “What on earth is the foil for?”
“For our belts, you
silly head
.” Noah and Bella began giggling.
“Noah, what did I say about the name callin’?” Colt tightened his lips and widened his eyes.
“But you said I couldn’t say
poop head
.”
“I don’t want you sayin’ anything that ends in head, got it?”
“But
heads not even a bad word.”
Colt stood up and went after Noah. “Boy, don’t make me tell you again.”
Colt no sooner sat down when Bella came walking up to him. “Hey Bells, what’s up?”
“Noah wants to know if we can have the foil now.” She was rocking back and forth like she wasn’t doing anything wrong.
I couldn’t help but ask. “So, what kind of
superheroes
are you goin’ to be? Do you have names?”
“Well, I wanted to be pet girl, but Noah says dogs already have their own, so now I want to be
invisible girl.”
Colt and I started laughing.
“Bells, what exactly would invisible girl do, besides being invisible?”
She looked at her uncle like he should have already known the answer. She put her hands on her hips and got up closer to him. “I can go into any room without people knowing.”
Obviously, she didn’t realize th
at was what being invisible did and the fact that we were still laughing made her angry.
Colt noticed that he had made her angry so he pretended like it was the coolest thing. “I wish I could do that to spy on Noah when he’s being bad.”
“I want to spy on Mommy and Daddy and make sure they aren’t sad.” She tried to whisper so I couldn’t hear her, but obviously
little
kids had voices that carried.
“What is Noah bein’?” I changed her focus.
“
He wants to be Ant Man, because he says he would be able to crawl in small places and just one cookie would feed him forever.”
Noah came in the room wearing all brown clothes. It wasn’t just that the clothes were brown, they were all Bella’s and they were way too small. “I’m Ant Man.” He ran around the couch until he was in front of us.
Colt looked at me as I looked at him. “The foil is in the top cabinet above the sink. Just let them have it.”
As soon as he handed it to them, they ran back into Bella’s room. Colt reached his hand out to take Jax from me, who was now sound asleep. I managed to cover up my exposed breast right before he lifted Jax away from it. “Thanks.”
“Welcome, Darlin’,” he whispered as he walked Jax back to his room.
When he came back out he looked outside first. I knew he was looking for Ty and Van. At first I thought it was because he thought they were doing something wrong, but then as he sat down bes
ide me, I realized it was so that
he knew he had time to talk to me alone.
“You know, I was the last person to think that Ty could change his ways. As soon as that kid started puberty, all he wanted to do was have sex. It’s all he talked about. But Miranda, something changed in him once you were on his radar.
He’d lied before, so I was
skeptical
, even with his promises that his feelin’s for you were different. I
was wrong to doubt him,
and I think you are too. That man loves you and those kids. I know about the pictures, but Savanna and I have talked about this so many time
s
in the last week and neither of us thinks he would intentionally do that, especially with that tramp.”
If one more person brings this up today I think I am going to scream.
“Even if I believed him, it still doesn’t change the fact that it did happen, whether he was drugged or not, he did those things. Look, before I even heard his side of the story I had decided not to leave him. I’m not going anywhere, but I can’t say that I’m ready to just forget about it. I just can’t do that. It hurts too much to just be able to let it go.”
Colt put his hand on my shoulder and leaned over to kiss me on the head.
“Life’s too short.”
He was right and I knew it, but I think I had the right to take my time. I didn’t feel like I was being rude to Ty. I just wanted my space.
Colt got up and walked back toward Bella’s room, which left me sitting by myself. I wondered where my brother had gone again. He seemed to always go out somewhere, yet I still hadn’t met one of his friends. I hated when he was secretive, but he wasn’t drinking or using drugs. I just didn’t get it.
I knew that he and Ty had their moments, but I loved him living on the farm with us. I think it was easier for him to move because of me too. He hated that I moved away in the first place. Our mother was so far up her
boyfriend’s
ass that she kept herself busy. After raising us and never getting involved with anyone while we were younger, it was good for her to be living life to the fullest. I was really h
oping that one day he would jus
t
pop the question and they could start a long life together.
Then I felt sad for my aunt. She’d lost her husband so early in life. They’d been so close and then one day he was just gone. It was so tragic. My mother was her rock, so her new relationship left her alone.
At least she had Lucy, who we all knew would never leave. Both of those women would grow old in that house.
I looked arou
nd my living room and was taken
aback
by how perfect it was. Pictures of our family covered the walls. The whole house was full of happy memories for us and I knew it was where I wanted to grow old with Ty. I’d always said I could never forgive him if he cheated, but I was starting to realize that my marriage was more important than one mistake. If the roles were reversed, Ty would have been devastated, but he would forgive me, because living without me was harder than living with my mistake.
I would forgive him and one day it wouldn’t hurt so much,
I just wanted the time to heal i
n my own way. Since Colt was with the kids, I grabbed the baby monitor and ventured outside. Heather’s visit may have damaged my marriage, but she also brought something to save my family. That day I walked out, I had taken the paternity papers she gave me with me. When the car was totaled, the salvage company boxed up everything in the car and Colt picked it
up
and
brought
it to the hospital.
I hadn’t thought much about them, until I realize
d
they may have gotten lost. They were rolled up and wedged between the seat. It was poss
ible they were overlooked. I walked
to the shed,
making
sure
nobody saw me outside, and started flipping through the box. After pulling out two of Bella’s coats, two separate shoes and a checkbook, I spotted the rolled up piece of paper.
Conner’s voice scared the crap out of me. “What are you doin’?”
I shoved the papers into the waist of my pants and turned around to face him. “I was lookin’ for my checkbook. I wanted to make sure those guys didn’t take it. That stuff happens you know.”
I pushed him out of the way and started walking back to the
house
. “Where did you go?”
He caught up to me and opened the door for me. “I was around. Were you lookin’ for me?”
“Not really. You just keep disappearing. I’m starting to wonder if you have something to hide.”
He shook his head and looked upset. “I’m not doin’ what you’re thinkin’.”
I grabbed him by the arm and made him look at me. “I didn’t mean that. I meant that it seems like you’re bein’ sneaky. You’re probably seeing some married chick or stripping for fast cash.”
I was totally joking, but when my brother smiled and started to walk away, I darted in front of him. Well, as fast as my sore body would let me. He just kept smiling. “It’s not as bad as you’re thinkin’.”
“What are you doin’ Conner?”
He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me right in the eye. “It’s nothin’ for you to worry about, I swear.”
“You’re not very convincing.”
“Don’t worry your pretty little self over it. You just focus on your family.”
He was up to something and I was going to get to the bottom of it. I hated secrets and I felt like everyone had them. My brother knew how to be sneaky and it didn’t help that he was very cocky. Thinking you are God’s greatest gift to women was bad enough. He wasn’t going to tell me, so all I could do was hope that it wasn’t something dangerous. He was my brother and I wanted him to always be safe.
