I looked over to see him looking down at his phone again. Did he dial the right number? Was Ty not answering because he didn’t recognize it? He had to get in touch with him. I just wanted to hear his voice.
Please God, please
get Ty to me. Please help him
find us. I can’t do this alone.
The equipment in the cab
began to shake as the ambulance started to move. The guy was checking my vitals, but I could feel myself starting to black out. My hearing went first, then my sight followed. Blackness took over and I let it happen. The pain in my stomach had spread to my back and it was so severe that I just wanted to scream.
As they rolled me into the hospital, the bright lights made me squint my eyes. Faces of strangers surrounded me as they ran
alongside
the stretcher. “Bella.” I moaned.
“Your daughter is fine Ma’am. We will keep her safe until someone from your family gets here.”
“Ty?”
The paramedic leaned down so I could hear him. “He’s coming, but you’re pretty far from home. It’s going to take him awhile.”
I started to cry, and it wasn’t from the pain. I was so scared and all alone.
A new wave of pain hit as they transferred me onto a fresh bed. Right away the room was filled with nurses and doctors. My legs went up
into stirrups while a
middle-aged
man slid in between them while slipping
on his rubber gloves. I could barely feel what he was doing, from the amount of pain I was feeling. A nurse came wheeling a cart in and soon they were doing an internal sonogram to check on the babies.
“Are they okay? Please tell me they are okay?” I screamed through the pain.
One nurse pointed to something on the screen, but I couldn’t see it. The doctor nodded, but said nothing.
“Please tell me somethin’. What is happenin’?” I cried and cried while they poked and studied my pregnant insides.
The doctor called across the room. “Prep the O.R., we have a placental abruption and need to get the babies out as quickly as possible.” He stood and walked to my side. “Ma’am, the accident cause
d your placenta to tear
. It’s necessary that we get you into surgery right away.”
“We have to wait for my husband. We can’t do this without him.” I grabbed his arm, hoping he would feel sorry for me, enough to wait at least.
“Ma’am, I am sorry to have to say this, but this is a life or death situation. We can’t wait for anyone. Right now you and your babies are in serious danger. We need to get them out and stop the bleeding, before your kidneys and other organs start to shut down.”
I couldn’t speak. All I heard was that it was life threatening.
The nurses were already running around, prepping for the surgery.
It was all happening so fast.
What if I died? What if
me and the boys died? How would Bella get through it? I didn’t want her ever losing her father, but now she could possibly lose me instead.
I needed Ty. The last thing I said to him was that I hated him. Those were going to be the last words he ever heard from me. No, please God, just let me tell him that I will always love him, no matter if we were together or not. Let me tell him that he is the only man I would ever love. Don’t take my life without me telling him that. Please don’t let me die.
Chapter 20
Ty
I’d no sooner got off the phone with Van, when my phone rang. I saw the name “wife” appear and answered it
without hesitation
.
Miranda?
Hi, Daddy.
Izzy.
Hey, Sweetie.
Are you with Mommy?
Yeah, were driving.
To Uncle Colt’s house?
Yes
She had packed their things and never looked back. It was hard to talk to my daughter when all I wanted to do was break down.
Well, Noah will be excited to see you.
I know.
Can I talk to Mommy, Iz?
She says she can’t talk when she’s driving.
Okay, well, at least tell her that I love her.
Okay
Are you okay, Iz?
Yeah, Mommy says I’m going to surprise Noah.
I started thinking about not being able to see her and I was getting all choked up. The last thing I wanted was to upset Iz. She didn’t need to know what was going on between her mother and I.
Be a good girl for Mommy, okay?
Okay, Daddy.
I love you so much, Iz.
I love you too.
You know you’re Daddy’s favorite little girl, Please don’t ever forget that.
My voice started squeaking and I knew I had to get the hell off the phone.
I know, I promise I won’t forget.
You’re my best friend forever.
You’re my best friend too.
I love you, Iz.
You already said that, silly.
Don’t forget to say your prayers and brush your teeth.
I miss you so much already
Okay, I miss you too.
I heard her hang up the phone before I could say goodbye. It was probably a good thing, considering I was such a wreck. I hadn’t just lost Miranda from lying, I had lost my little girl. It hurt so much to hear her say they were going to Kentucky, because I knew Miranda didn’t plan on coming back.
I kept thinking about how difficult it would be for Miranda
to
explain all of this to our daughter. She wasn’t exactly okay with me not saying goodnight to her, not even for one night. Since she was too young
to remember, I had tucked her in
at night and made her brush her teeth and say her prayers
.
The bottle of liquor was disappearing by the second. I’d hit rock bottom. I cried worse than I’d ever cried in my entire life. Miranda consumed me in every way. I felt like I needed her love to breathe. I
needed her in my life, supporting me and guiding me to be the man I knew I wanted to be.
My daughter was the sunshine to my day. She filled my heart with love and when we were together, I just wanted to give her the world. She knew she had me wrapped around her little finger and I was completely fine with that.
I walked into Izzy’s room and looked around at what was left. Sure, the furniture was still in place, as were all of Iz’s toys, but there was just enough missing for it to be apparent. I fell down onto her bed and buried my hands into my face.
All of the tears in the world couldn’t bring back what I‘d lost. The damage had taken its toll and I was certain that, even with time, I would never get over this pain.
I thought about my friends who had divorced parents and how sad it was for them to have to see their dads or their moms on the weekends, and if they lived out of state it was more like some holidays. I didn’t want that for my daughter, or my sons. I needed to see my kids every day.
If Miranda wanted to live in Kentucky, and she didn’t want me anymore, I would have to find a place there so that I could at least be close to them.
I’d do anything to be close to them.
Maybe in time
,
she and I could be friends. Maybe, after years passed, she would give me another chance. All I knew was that it would be my new life’s mission to prove to her that I wasn’t the guy she saw me as. I was the husband that was so
infatuated
with her love, that no other woman could ever make me stray. I wished she knew that.
I honestly don’t know how long I was in Izzy’s room, but my cell phone ringing woke me up. I cleared the sleep away from my eyes and realized where I was. Following the sounds of the ringing, I saw the number was from a weird area code. When I went to pick it
up,
they’d already hung up. I sat the phone down and pondered on finishing the liquor sitting in front of the table. Just before I grabbed the bottle, the phone rang again.
Nothing
could
have prepared me for that call.
Hello?
I’m looking for a Ty? Is this him?
Yeah, I’m Ty. Who are you?
My name is Joe and I’m
a paramedic. Listen, your wife
had an accident and you need to find any means possible to get here as soon as you can.
NO! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING
…
Just tell me what hospital
.
I was screaming into the phone.
He told me the name of a hospital I had never heard of, which was bad, because I knew how far away they must be.
How is she? How is my daughter?
Your daughter is fine, Sir.
Miranda? Please….you have to tell me. Is she in labor?
The twins? Please tell me something.
Sir, I’m not a doctor, but I do know you need to get here. Your wife is
hemorrhaging
. That’s all I know.
OH GOD NO!
Tell her I’m coming. Please tell her I am on my way.
I hung up the phone and grabbed my keys, never even considering that I had been
drinking. Nothing mattered to me
once I heard they were in an accident. Of course
,
I was thinking the worst, who wouldn’t have? With Izzy being okay, my focus was on Miranda and our boys.
I plugged the
hospital
’
s
name into my phones GPS and saw that I was a good hour and
forty-five
minutes
away,
and that was if I hauled ass
to get to them. That much time could mean life or death. I had to get there. She had to know I loved her and she wasn’t alone.
I’d like to say that I kept my focus on the road, but it would have been a lie. My wife was all I could think about. My foot pressed against the floor as I battled time to reach them. I don’t know if God was on my side, or I just got lucky, but I pretty much drove ninety miles an hour the entire way, making it there in just short of an hour and a half.
The last time I’d considered driving after drinking had changed my life and I swore that I’d never do it again, but there was nothing that could have taken my focus from getting to her, to them.
I d
on’t even remember putting the J
eep in park, before running into the hospital entrance. Of course, they gave me the run around
about Miranda at first, because they didn’t have her registered under the right name. If she couldn’t give her information, it wasn’t a good sign.
Finally, after I lost my temper, a security guard escorted me to the third floor and had a nurse sit me down. I waited for him to go back down in the elevator, before I started flipping out again.
I rushed over to the nurse’s station.
“Where is my wife?”
“Sir, please take a seat in the waiting room. I will have the doctor come out to talk to you
.”
No no no! This can’t be good.
“Tell me now! Dammit, I need to know.” I’d driven at the speed of light to get to her and now this bitch thought she could stand in the way of me finding my wife.
Aww Hell no!
“Sir, I’m going to ask you again to have a seat. The doctor will be out shortly.” She held her hands on her hips like she meant business, but nothing she did could have made me calm down.
“Look, I just need to know what’s going on. If that was your husband in there, would you be okay not knowing anything? Please…..that woman is my life. I need to know something.”
She stared at my tired and worried eyes and finally shook her head. “Look, I’m not supposed to tell you anything, but I can see that this is hard for you. Come with me, Sir.” She started walking away from the operating room doors.
Where was she taking me? Was I too late? Was I waiting for a doctor to tell me that my wife hadn’t made it?
Oh my God. What would I do without her? What would I
do
without that beautiful woman that meant everything to me?
“Stop!” I don’t know what made me say it. The nurse turned around and looked at me funny
,
as I hunched over to try to calm my stomach. “Please, just tell me where we’re going.”
She pointed toward a security door with a sign that read ‘NICU’. “It’s just through here, Sir. Follow me.”
Now, I didn’t really know what NICU meant, but I followed her anyway. Once we got through the doors, we were met with four smiling nurses.
“Nancy, who is this you have with you this evening?” One of the nurses asked.
She turned to look at me when she spoke. “This is the twin
’
s father ladies. He’s just driven a long way and I think he needs
something
to smile about.”
What was th
a
t supposed to mean? Jesus Christ, somebody better start talking.